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Spontaneous nicknames from Belkar
:belkar: :belkar: :belkar:
To honor the old Halfling tradition of addressing others with spontaneous nicknames that make sense (instead of the garbage some questionable 'authority' has given them) and in spirit of the thread Belkar's colorful names for other characters (who brought this madness upon us), I want to collect all 'names' the one and only Belkar Bitterleaf (which probably is a name the Belkster bestowed upon himself) uses.
So without furder ado, here is a table containing the so far used 'names', presented in a sortable table - so if you find the chronological order boring, you can simple sort it by alphabet or character addressed :smallwink:
Strip # |
Name |
Addressee |
Uncivil Servant (p.3) |
click-face |
Ankheg |
Uncivil Servant (p.8) |
Ali S. Fakenamington |
Belkar |
Uncivil Servant (p.9) |
badass ranger |
Belkar with cloak |
Uncivil Servant (p.9) |
brokeass ranger |
Belkar in dirty rags |
Uncivil Servant (p.11) |
Lowlife Thug #1 |
Brint |
Uncivil Servant (p.11) |
Lowlife Thug #2 |
Shart |
Uncivil Servant (p.11) |
these two scuzzbuckets |
Brint and Shart |
Uncivil Servant (p.13) |
Dough Boy |
Mayor |
OtOoPCs (p. 62) |
Friar Tuck |
Monk |
OtOoPCs (p. 62) |
a man with a REAL class |
Belkar |
OtOoPCs (p. 66) |
Mr. Principal |
Roy |
OtOoPCs (p. 67) |
the Handsome Halfling & Company |
The Order of the Stick |
OtOoPCs (p. 69) |
The chick |
Haley |
OtOoPCs (p. 69) |
the blond |
Elan |
DStP (Masterwork Theatre) |
this stupid paladin-town |
Azure City |
DStP (Masterwork Theatre) |
the other three idiots |
Elan, Durkon and Vaarsuvius |
DStP (Masterwork Theatre) |
this whole thing with Gates and a god-eating monster |
Main storyline |
1 |
Daddy |
Belkar |
2 |
Loser |
Elan |
34a |
Dwarven crap |
Dwarven iron rations |
42 |
those giant lumbering oafs |
The Order of the Stick sans Belkar |
42 |
the most badass halfling EVER |
Belkar |
47 |
freakshow |
Yikyik |
48 |
little orange piece of sh— |
Yikyik |
48 |
[Yikyik's] big dumb door-opener |
Thog |
60 |
The Linear Jerks |
The Linear Guild |
107 |
Ears |
Vaarsuvius |
107 |
Pointy-eared, purple-haired, ambiguously-gendered pain in my ass |
Vaarsuvius |
115 |
my pretty little chunks of XP |
Goblins |
140 |
Beardy McBeerstein |
Durkon |
171 |
Miss I-have-ranks-in-Sense-Motive |
Haley |
202 |
you ethnocentric bitch |
Miko |
208 |
Mr. Paladin Warhorse |
Windstriker |
219 |
the Ice Queen |
Miko |
242 |
the Belkster |
Belkar |
244 |
woman of my dreams |
Roy |
244 |
baby |
Roy |
244 |
this hot piece of ass |
Roy |
244 |
Sweet Thing |
Roy |
244 |
my Rod of Lordly Might |
??? |
249 |
baby |
Roy |
270 |
"still alive" |
Belkar |
281 |
Snow White |
Miko |
281 |
the 8th dwarf, "Stabby" |
Belkar |
281 |
you fascist cow |
Miko |
287 |
Sweetwings |
Celia |
294 |
Blondie |
Elan |
295 |
loser |
Durkon |
304 |
Queenhilt |
Roy |
322 |
Wise Mister Owlbear |
Owlbear |
322 |
Vaarsuvius Pop |
Vaarsuvius |
323 |
That pointy-eared pissbucket |
Vaarsuvius |
323 |
asshat |
Vaarsuvius |
323 |
you androgynous twit |
Vaarsuvius |
325 |
a boring stupid elf |
Vaarsuvius |
326 |
Robespierre |
Belkar |
331 |
Miko's stupid horse |
Windstriker |
335 |
That Bilbo Tool |
Bilbo Baggins |
338 |
The Belkster |
Belkar |
340 |
Ears |
Vaarsuvius |
348 |
Sunshine |
Elan |
379 |
ho |
Sabine (in disguise) |
379 |
the geezer |
Shojo |
383 |
you frickin' bastard |
Nale |
383 |
you spineless piece of weasel crap |
Nale |
383 |
boss |
Nale |
402 |
the Beast with Two Backs |
Elan and Haley having fun |
408 |
THE WACKY OLD DUDE WITH THE CAT |
Shojo |
419 |
paladin-turned-murderer Miko Miyazaki |
Miko |
419 |
honey |
Miko |
419 |
a go-getter |
Miko |
428 |
"It's Pat" |
Vaarsuvius |
435 |
Shlubbo Noname-zaki |
Azurite soldier |
439 |
A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR |
Belkar |
467 |
a dumbass, a wuss and a sissy |
Hinjo |
467 |
No-Name |
Daigo |
469 |
Skullsy |
Eye of Fear and Flame |
469 |
you third-rate Yorick knock-off |
Eye of Fear and Flame |
469 |
Orangina |
Hobgoblin soldier |
476 |
a sexy shoeless god of cooking |
Belkar |
477 |
my little pointy friends |
Belkar's daggers |
477 |
Scarface |
O-Chul |
515 |
Mustache-for-Brains |
Thanh |
515 |
[Thanh's] partner-in-ridiculous-blue-facial-hair |
Hinjo |
522 |
the Belkster |
Belkar |
524 |
"Miko 2: Electric Bugaloo" |
Thanh |
530 |
the Scruffinator |
Mr. Scruffy |
530 |
Whiskers Von Thor-Bugger |
Durkon |
535 |
Fuzz-Lip |
Thanh |
535 |
the Scruffinator |
Mr. Scruffy |
567 |
You weasely little piece of dragon crap |
Oracle of the Sunken Valley |
569 |
That scaly oracular bastard |
Oracle of the Sunken Valley |
573 |
the magical Cart Fairy |
Celia |
573 |
Happy Fun Sunshine Land |
Greysky City |
575 |
Froggie Man |
Grubwiggler |
575 |
a centaur |
Belkar |
576 |
Herman Munster |
Flesh golem |
576 |
the Cart Fairy |
Celia |
578 |
A giant girl leprechaun |
Haley |
578 |
(magic) scarecrows |
Golems |
578 |
Happy Fun Sunshine Land |
Grubbwiggler's |
578 |
a unicorn |
Belkar |
605 |
Wacky old dude... |
Shojo |
606 |
the King of Blue-Town |
Shojo |
606 |
all of the other mindless drones |
Society |
610 |
A SEXY— ...shoeless... ...god of war... |
Belkar |
612 |
a bunch of third rate wannabes |
The Thieves' Guild |
612 |
Petey Boy |
Old Blind Pete |
613 |
a seasoned warrior |
Belkar |
613 |
glorified pickpockets |
Bozzok & Crystal |
614 |
Tusky |
Bozzok |
616 |
you poor dumb pickle-woman |
Crystal |
622 |
Froggy |
Grubwiggler |
673 |
Bristle Steelpanties |
Durkon |
682 |
The New and Improved Belkar Bitterleaf |
Belkar |
682 |
Dwarf-for-Brains |
Durkon |
683 |
Beetle Bailey |
Thri-keen slaver |
688 |
Mom |
Haley |
689 |
bigfoot |
Roy |
697 |
Hair-B-Gone |
Haley |
729 |
Stubbles Von Smackhammer |
Durkon |
733 |
the Bearded Wonder |
Durkon |
768 |
Crazy Old Prison Guy |
Ian |
777 |
the dragon guy |
Enor |
779 |
that meddling fairy |
Celia |
781 |
that prisoner guy |
Evisceratus |
781 |
Uptight-looking androgynous elf |
Vaarsuvius |
781 |
that Vulcan-in-Fantasy-Drag |
Vaarsuvius |
798 |
Mr. Leader |
Roy |
807 |
you commonor-killin'-machine |
Mr. Scruffy |
814 |
a bumbling sidekick |
Belkar |
835 |
Scruffinator |
Mr. Scruffy |
835 |
Mr. S |
Mr. Scruffy |
838 |
Freshmouth |
Yukyuk |
848 |
Miss I-Dodged-Two-Balls-Of-Acid-In-A-Row |
Haley |
848 |
hobbit fajita |
Belkar |
867 |
Team Player Belkar |
Belkar |
880 |
Lizard Vampire Guy |
Malack |
881 |
Captain Wallow-Pants |
Roy |
922 |
big guy |
Bloodfeast |
922 |
Guard Buffet |
Bloodstone Correctional Facility |
925 |
Evil Father Patrol |
The Vector Legion |
925 |
some lame ass herbivore |
Tarquin's Triceratops mount |
926 |
Bloodfeast the Extreme-inator |
Bloodfeast |
928 |
scarf guy |
Miron |
939 |
hipster tool |
Belkar |
953 |
Lurky Corpsewhiskers |
High Priest of Hel |
957 |
Dead-for-Brains |
High Priest of Hel |
960 |
that glorified mosquito |
High Priest of Hel |
989 |
Count No-neckula |
High Priest of Hel |
989 |
NPC panel-filler |
Wrecan, Veldrina and Little Whiskers |
994 |
Sacred Knight of the Expository Aside |
Wrecan |
994 |
that dwarf guy |
Gontor Hammerfell |
1015 |
Stupid vampire |
High Priest of Hel |
1015 |
Stupid Roy stupid Greenhilt |
Roy |
1015 |
a beloved character |
Belkar |
1015 |
Dead Snake Guy |
Malack |
1015 |
Fake Durkon |
High Priest of Hel |
1027 |
Chief |
Roy |
1030 |
[Various: see comic]* |
High Priest of Hel |
1043 |
The chick with the bandana |
bandana |
1043 |
Count Chock-Full-O-Nuts and his Creepy Crew |
High Priest of Hel and his fellow vampires |
1053 |
scaled up bunch of smurfs! Only with more chicks! |
Frost Giants |
1053 |
Ears |
Vaarsuvius |
1097 |
Beer Dude |
Firuk Blackore |
*Several of these were contributed by Belkar, but it is not possible to discern which came from him.
Some things to be aware of:
- If you find something not listed, please point it out (best with the strip, so I can put it in the right place). To make this a complete collection I need some help :smallwink:
- I will collect any reference from Belkar to anyone/anything else (including himself and non-character stuff like Evil Father Patrol or Happy Fun Sunshine Land - because it is way too awesome not to list :smallbiggrin:)
- I will track multiple usages from different strips (though not within one strip) and/or bonus material
- I will not be overly strict (in fact I will not dismiss any finding) on what count as 'name' or whether something can be listed or not. If it is something said by Belkar that addresses some character I consider it as fair game :smalltongue:
- Any type of feedback/questions/comments/improvement ideas are welcome, so feel free to post
:belkar: :belkar: :belkar:
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Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
I dunno if we can count Bloodfeast there. As far as we know, that's his real name after joining up with the Order.
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Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Keltest
I dunno if we can count Bloodfeast there. As far as we know, that's his real name after joining up with the Order.
I know - I have considered to put Bloodfeast into the original name column, too :smallwink:. But either way I think it should be listed.
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Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
Minor quibble: if I remember correctly, Belkar didn't call himself Ali S. Fakenamington. I thought the mayor called him that because he forgot to give his name. (Will have to double check my PDF when I have time for more than a drive-by posting.)
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Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
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Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Grey Watcher
Minor quibble: if I remember correctly, Belkar didn't call himself Ali S. Fakenamington. I thought the mayor called him that because he forgot to give his name. (Will have to double check my PDF when I have time for more than a drive-by posting.)
Spoiler: Uncivil Servant
Show
The panel before the newspaper ends with the major questioning a leaving Belkar "Wait - what IS your name, brave adventurer?".
So while we technically don't have the confirmation that Ali S. Fakenamington is used by Belkar, I think if Belkar wouldn't have answered the question, a better headline would be "Ankheg slain by anonymous hero". Asking someone for their name and then just inventing something sounds not that reasonable to me.
Edit: On page 11 the mayor greets him with "Oh, it's you, Fakenamington." - this imo makes only really sense if Belkar said he was Ali S. Fakenamington.
Edit: some additional detail
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Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
In the case of a name like "ears", which Belkar uses frequently, do we count each instance or just the first one?
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Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Jaxzan Proditor
In the case of a name like "ears", which Belkar uses frequently, do we count each instance or just the first one?
I would list all instances - it allows to see which alternatives Belkar uses regularly and which are only a one-off.
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Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ChristianSt
I would list all instances - it allows to see which alternatives Belkar uses regularly and which are only a one-off.
Alright, he calls Vaarsuvius "ears" in 107. In the same strip he calls them "pointy-eared, purple-haired, ambiguously-gendered pain in my ass."
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Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
0835: "Scruffinator" and "Mr S." for Mr Scruffy.
0838: "Freshmouth" for YukYuk
0848: " Miss I-Dodged-Two-Balls-of-Acid-In-A-Row" for Haley
0867: "Team Player Belkar" for himself
Edit: found a few more
0219: "Ice Queen" for Miko
0287: "Sweetwings" for Celia
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Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
47 freakshow Yikyik
48 little orange piece of sh-- Yikyik
48 big dumb door-opener Thog
Not sure if that second one really qualifies as a name.
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Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
Title should be "What characters should really be called," not "How ..."
The answer to "How" would be an adverb (loudly, cautiously, rudely, etc.) or a methodology. The answer to "What" is the actual word or phrase being used to address them.
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Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
Thanks for all the input :smallsmile:. I will add them later, when I have the time to do so.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
dtilque
Not sure if that second one really qualifies as a name.
I personally don't really want to draw any lines what qualifies and what not. Unless there is objection against it, I will collect any non-trivial* statement Belkar uses instead of the "normal" name.
*So I don't want to collect every time Belkar calls V "elf" or Miko "paladin". If Belkar provides additional important content about that person, I think it is fair game.
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Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
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Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
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Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
Quote:
Originally Posted by
b_jonas
That's a standard euphemism for sex, not a personal name for Haley and Elan.
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Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Kurald Galain
That's a standard euphemism for sex, not a personal name for Haley and Elan.
well if were allowing things like "Ambiguously gendered pain in my ass" I don't see how that wouldn't fit the criteria.
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Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Raphite1
Title should be "What characters should really be called," not "How ..."
The answer to "How" would be an adverb (loudly, cautiously, rudely, etc.) or a methodology. The answer to "What" is the actual word or phrase being used to address them.
Wowww I made this grammar-police post from my phone last night while a bit drunk, and completely forgot about it until just now. I apologize for being an obnoxious nitpicker. =)
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Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
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Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
The full "ambiguously-gendered" sobriquet is "Pointy-eared, purple-haired, ambiguously-gendered pain in my ass", from panel 6 of Defense is for Losers (OOTS #107).
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Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
379 Shojo = The Geezer
http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0379.html
383 Nale = Frickin Bastard/ Spineless piece of weasel crap/ boss
419 Miko = honey.
http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0419.html
777 Enor = Dragon Guy
http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0777.html
779 Celia = that meddling fairy.
http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0779.html
781 evisceratus = prisoner guy
http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0781.html
798 Roy = Mr Leader, Sir.
http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0798.html
807 Scruffy = Commoner killing machine
http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0807.html
814 Belkar = bumbling sidekick.
http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0814.html
How about extending the list to cover all characters, not just Belkar? So we could have Thog's Talky-Man and Not-Nale, as well as Celia's Soul-Patch.
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Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
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Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
:smalleek: Wow, and I thought the first thread would feature a rather large amount of nicknames.
I now have the feelings that this was only the tip of the iceberg. Thanks for all contributions - and massive update incoming soonish.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Kurald Galain
That's a standard euphemism for sex, not a personal name for Haley and Elan.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Keltest
well if were allowing things like "Ambiguously gendered pain in my ass" I don't see how that wouldn't fit the criteria.
As basically outlined above I personally don't want to open the discussion "is X a name or not". If someone points to something (that hits the bar minimum, i.e. Belkar addressing another character (or group of characters) with something else than their normal name*) I will include it.
Yes, some things probably are a (more or less) big stretch to call names. But first it somewhat matters in context (e.g. why does Durkon get premium top notch names whereas V only gets some kind of random slurs?), second there are some really awesome things that if I'm honest aren't really names (like Sexy shoeless good of war) and lastly I don't really want to spent that much time to figure out whether something is a name or isn't a name. [And I have seen things while searching a bit that I will not include in the list, because I think there don't fit here - but should someone point them out, I will include them.]
If If there is enough demand for such a distinction, I will not enforce my opinion onto this thread and change that stance. But I think this would shift this thread from "lets find funny things Belkar said" to "is <this> a name or not?". And the second one does sound kinda stupid to me.
*Or nickname with general widespread use. From the top of my hat the only thing that should be in this category is "V" for Vaarsuvius
Quote:
Originally Posted by
BobTheDog
(plus Happy Fun Sunshine Land if we're naming places too)
On this I'm not sure - what do others think about it? Should we track other things than characters? Should we list places? Or maybe even other things (if that even really happens)?
I'm open to the general idea, but I don't want to "derail" the thread, unless that is what the people here want.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Ron Miel
How about extending the list to cover all characters, not just Belkar? So we could have Thog's Talky-Man and Not-Nale, as well as Celia's Soul-Patch.
Basically the same as above (if other people really want it), with a strong personal opinion of not wanting to do it. First of all I think it doesn't add that much (noticeable counterexample would probably be Xykon - but he doesn't even remember any name, so I'm not sure whether that should be count. Belkar on the other side demonstrates more than often that he does remember the names of other characters.) and second of all it adds a whole new layer of problems to the question "how to best organize this collection?" [and keeping is simple isn't that bad].
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Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
I agree, don't take “name” too strongly. Further, note that Belkar specifically uses capital letters in many of these examples, and he says “the Beast with Two Backs” with capital letters in particular.
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Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
hehe, it's fun when threads help each other. I was reading some old comics to vote in Porthos' "Stick Awards" thread and found this:
#435
Shlubbo Noname-zaki, refering to a "noname" soldier during Azure City's battle.
:smallcool:
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Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
Quote:
Originally Posted by
nogall
hehe, it's fun when threads help each other. I was reading some old comics to vote in Porthos' "Stick Awards" thread and found this:
#435
Shlubbo Noname-zaki, refering to a "noname" soldier during Azure City's battle.
:smallcool:
Yeah - found that one too :smallwink:. Already corrected before I have seen your post :smalltongue:
And is ironically listed basically with the inverse reasoning of why it is included in the Number of Character Appearences Thread :smallamused:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Number of Character Appearances
Q. Why is Shlubbo Noname-zaki from strip 435 listed? That's not his real name.
A. Well, it could be his real name. Either way, it's funny.
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Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
strip 281, Belkar calls Miko a "facist cow" in the last panel
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Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
467 Hinjo = A dumbass, a wuss and sissy.
Daigo = No-name
http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0467.html
467 Eye of Fear and Flame = Third rate Yorrick knock-off.
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Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
Just noticed your update, and I think that "Herman Munster" actually refers to the Flesh Golem, who (which?) looks just like Herman. My bad for not clarifying the nominations in the previous post.
[Edit: oh, on the topic of whether to include places, I think it makes sense, as the Belkster tends to aptly-name them in the same spirit as he does people (mockery, mostly).]
[Edit²: Does Blondie count?]
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Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington
Oh, I didn't see the questions about what this thread should include. I'm all for us including places and other character's nicknamings, as long is it is shown who is giving the nicknames.