AJWBSpoiler
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When I was first reading this, I kept thinking of silence of the lambs; save that butterflies represent a twisted imitated innocence in that movie while in your poem they serve as antagonists- a reminder or some painful fact. While I like your punchline at the end of the poem in its self-awareness, you probably didn't need to completely disarm yourself with it.
There are things I like about the piece and things I don't. Perhaps it is a personal thing, but I kind of disdain pieces that are a stream of words that practically remove the use of lines. Nevertheless, it cannot be denied that you are more successful than most at maintaining a rhythm of your own in the face of your self-denouncement. You are successful with your repetition of the butterflies in the picture to remind us of the antagonist. Nevertheless, in the face of your good rhythm, your stream of words kind of rings empty in its simplicity- with singular lines like My, and And In, and And Out, it just borders on overly lengthy. Lines such as Slicing my lips with their lies, on the other hand, ring much better; there are active things happening in the line- it is a punctuated and complete thought.
I liked the poem in some ways- it may have been that you were satirizing this style, yet, at the same time, you kind of lacked substance because of the simplicity of some of your lines. I had mixed thoughts, but its obvious you put in an effort, especially where the difficulty of the picture is concerned.
Arti3Spoiler
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This may be a little basic: You use the wrong form of too. To is to go somewhere, or to do something in order to do something else. If you want the relative phrase that implies an unnecessary extreme (i.e. he pushed me too hard) you need two os. If you're not a native English speaker, this can definitely slide, as it's fairly confusing but if English is your first language, then you have no excuse to mess this up.
That said, I like your poem in other respects; you work well witht he meter as well as the language. You do great with things like brine rather than simply saying tears, demonstrate a twisted world where one must appease the tyrant by smiling in the face of viciousness, else simply end the greater cruelty. The pauses for the italicized thoughts are also, well, thoughtful and you leave your piece open to interpretation.
If there were one thing I had to point out as a weakness, it would probably be the length, although at your current four stanzas, you are able to provide strong transitions between each of them and develop the speaker, so maybe that is an advantage. Because I'm complaining about length, however, take that to mean that I want to hear more. It's a strong piece.
VerdictSpoiler
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Arti3. Although I liked both pieces and both were strong as far as the prompt was concerned, Arti3's piece had more substance, more imagery and stronger language. I appreciated AJWB's own brand of humor, but much of the piece seemed to ring empty, despite the fact that he was able to present it with great panache as far as style is concerned.