She/he/V-ian Rhapsody
to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody, by Queen
(I recomend listening along as you read)
Is this the real life?
Or gaming parody?
Wield arcane power
with my superior wizardry.
Open your eyes!
Look under the Gate! It’s me!
I’m just a poor elf, who dealt with IFCC,
With them it’s easy come, hard to go,
their profits - high, their wager - low,
And when blue orb glowed, it gave the power of three, to Darth V.
Inky! Just killed a dragon,
Put a spell against its head,
Now her entire race is dead.
Inky! I must save everyone,
I really can’t just throw this power away.
Draketooths! Nooooo,
Didn't mean to make you die,
I must amend my discretions for a better tomorrow,
Roy stop! Knock knock! You know nothing on these matters.
Too late, Cedrik’s time has come,
Failed to shatter Xykon’s spine,
Now I’m paying for my crime.
Goodbye, to my body, to Hell I go,
Gotta leave you behind. This feels uncouth.
Krakak! Ooooooom! (that’s the way the Gate blows),
But I haven’t died,
Under my understanding - this shouldn’t possible.
I can’t even see a silhouetto of your plan,
Scarammmph! Scarammmph! Magic gag from Nero.
Malak dies from lighting,
Durkon kills my opponent, Zz’dtri.
(Dramatic Moment) Dramatic Moment.
(No Attonement) No Attonement,
Tarquin gives Nale a killing blow.
No saving throw!
I'm just a Raven and why does this affect me?
You're a familiar, so your soul’s linked to V,
Sparing your lives from all damage on the TV.
Easy there, Sabine, no! Will you let me go?
Bismillah! No! This couch - I have to throw.
(Have to throw!) Nale’s dead, ‘cause I was banished here below.
(Here below!) What a mess! Repayment you will owe.
(You will owe!) Tarquin doesn’t know.
(Doesn’t know!) Revenge I will bestow
(Good thing I sent up my Teevo!) Ah.
Tic, Tic, Tic, Tic, Tic, Tic- Ding!
(Oh the bell, oh the bell) It’s been swell, time to go.
Vaarsuvius! Go up and knock ‘em dead for me, for me, for me!
Hard to see with this sand in my eye!
Now to cast elemental spells that make enemies die!
Oh, party! I’ve returned to my party!
Fire wall is up, It appears we will make our stand here.
(Oh, yeah, oh yeah)
I apologize for my absence,
Greenhilt and Party,
Most know nothing of these matters,
Nothing of these matters…but me.
(Ocean wind from rift blows)