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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Man on Fire
* There are more ways to Intimidate somebody than just telling him I will take something, shine it really nice, turn it sideways and stick upon his candy a*s.
* My bard cannot spontaneously starts singing "The Game" whenever Barbarian walks into the room.
** Or "King of Kings"
*** Same goes for Dragon Disciple and "Slow Chemical"
**** And Dread Necromancer and Graveyard Symphony
***** And even if that could be climatic, "Rolling" is just silly.
****** All of it goes double if they're sneaking into that room.
* Cannot break through the wall just to give somebody a wiener.
* Character who is Staight Edge is okay. Character who thinks it makes him better than everybody else is acceptable. Character who won't shut the f*** up about it is vetoed.
* When we come to save sacrifical virgin from evil cultists, I cannot kill her for them and attack other players because I decided to turn Heel.
** After killing all my friends I cannot then stab cult's leader in the back and murder remaining cultists because I realized being a Face is better for my carrer.
* Cannot ask question just to yell the answer doesn't matter.
* Cannot base character on Santino Marella.
* There must be 48 hours time gap between the game and the last time I watched wrestling.
*Not allowed to respond to every line spoken by an NPC by simply saying "What?" over and over.
*Not allowed to give beer to NPCs and then randomly attack them while drinking.
*Pinning an enemy for one round (or even three) does not mean I win the fight.
*Not allowed to put on a sock puppet before grappling opponents.
*Not allowed to base a character off of Mankind.
**Or Dude Love.
***Or Cactus Jack.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Velaryon
*Not allowed to respond to every line spoken by an NPC by simply saying "What?" over and over.
*Not allowed to give beer to NPCs and then randomly attack them while drinking.
*Pinning an enemy for one round (or even three) does not mean I win the fight.
*Not allowed to put on a sock puppet before grappling opponents.
*Not allowed to base a character off of Mankind.
**Or Dude Love.
***Or Cactus Jack.
I need to try that last one.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* "We eat well tonight!" is not an appropriate battle cry for a paladin (even if he technically worships the god of laughter).
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Velaryon
*Not allowed to respond to every line spoken by an NPC by simply saying "What?" over and over.
** If an NPC does the above to me, I may not respond by threatening them with bodily harm.
*** I may ask "Do they speak English/Common/Basic in What?" exactly once per campaign.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*My battle cry is not allowed to be "This Is LASTWALL"
**Nor am I allowed to fix this by replacing lastwall with another country's name.
*Nor is my battle stratagy allowed to be kicking people into giant pits.
**I may not find a way to do so with a penguin animal companion.
**Breakdancing is likewise an invalid way of defeating enemies.
*I am not allowed to use 300 or Meet the Spartans in any form for my character model.
**Doubly so when creating monsters while DMing.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Omeganaut: Well, you MIGHT get a chance to do 1 and 3 in our current campaign without breaking character...if you weren't playing a sorcerer. Not sure you have the CMB to bull rush anyone into a pit consistently.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
I don't know. He has cast a fire spell at an undead who attacked with fire, so that very well might be next.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*My character may not discover the existence of skill points
**Or the DM.
***My character may not have a vision telling him the exact core rules of 3.5, and that everything he knows is a lie
****If this does happen, I'm still not allowed to metagame.
*Nonlethal damage is to take enemies that we need alive captive, not so that I may walk out of a dungeon with two dozen prisoners in tow, with plans to sell them into slavery
*Any video game made by Rockstar may not be a campaign model.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*No matter how the rules allow it, I may not use the WBL off of chaining the leadership and landlord feat to purchase a city. Building by building.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* Going to the mayor or king with one lump sum is right out.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*If my wish is that my wish would not be granted, I have to walk on everybodies d4's
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
newBlazingAngel
*If my wish is that my wish would not be granted, I have to walk on everybodies d4's
** I am not to be surprised when nothing happens.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
***I am also not to be surprised when that wish is not granted. A different wish that kills my character horribly is.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*If I am the dungeon master, I am not allowed to throw d4's at my players to represent dart traps.
**I may not weigh down d6's and 8's to represent heavier damage.
***My dice may not be heavier than half a pound
****Heating up titanium dice to represent fire damage is just taking it too far.
*****It is not roleplaying to make the cleric really 'feel' magic missle that just hit him.
******Baseballs are not magic missles.
*******Nor are apples
********Footballs, softballs, rocks and anything of the sort is right out.
*********Somebody else is DMing from now on.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
- If I am asked to provide a skirt-length backstory, I am not allowed to argue over the hypothetical lengths of skirt to avoid the work.
- I am NOT allowed to wear a miniskirt to the game to prove my point.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
***I may not use said skirt to get the DM to fudge a few rolls in my favor.
****The DM is a straight male and so am I. It's just weird.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
newBlazingAngel
***I may not use said skirt to get the DM to fudge a few rolls in my favor.
****The DM is a straight male and so am I. It's just weird.
***** If I do have the appropriate equipment, that makes it even more uncomfortable. Don't do it.
****** Eschewing pants altogether to take advantage of this is right out.
******* Using either of these tactics while you're the DM to encourage the players to stay on the rails makes you a horrible person.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Craft (Cheese)
******* Using either of these tactics while you're the DM to encourage the players to stay on the rails makes you a horrible person.
******* Especially if it works.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
newBlazingAngel
***I may not use said skirt to get the DM to fudge a few rolls in my favor.
****The DM is a straight male and so am I. It's just weird.
But blackmail is a long-standing gamer tradition. To the man with the least shame fall the spoils.
Please excuse me while I bleach my brain.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Craft (Cheese)
***** If I do have the appropriate equipment, that makes it even more uncomfortable. Don't do it.
****** Eschewing pants altogether to take advantage of this is right out.
******* Using either of these tactics while you're the DM to encourage the players to stay on the rails makes you a horrible person.
*Eschew clothing is NOT an apriopate feat, no not even when roleplaying a hooker
**Craft(innuendo) is not a valid crafting skill, using it will result in double xp costs
***Boobs are a female only lvl 80 epic spell. for the love of all that is holy and sane, don't try to overuse it...
****Really? You just went ahead either way? have it your way, now anyone with noticable secondary sexual characteristics will have to wear a burka. happy now?
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Shouting, "You activated my trap card!" is not appropriate (no, not even when I readied an action to draw a card from my deck of illusions or a deck of many things).
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lord_Gareth
*Shouting, "You activated my trap card!" is not appropriate (no, not even when I readied an action to draw a card from my deck of illusions or a deck of many things).
** I may not make a spectator sport whereby two duelists summon monsters from decks of illusions and have the illusions fight in the arena.
*** If I do make this, I may not swap out my opponent's deck with a deck of many things when he isn't looking.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lord_Gareth
*Shouting, "You activated my trap card!" is not appropriate (no, not even when I readied an action to draw a card from my deck of illusions or a deck of many things).
** If, as a DM, you point out that you have priority, your players reserve the right to set you on fire.
*** If, as a player, you respond that priority rules were removed, your DM reserves the right to feed you to rats.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Socratov
***Boobs are a female only lvl 80 epic spell. for the love of all that is holy and sane, don't try to overuse it...
****I may not have an enchanted item to get around this rule.
*****A breastplate of boobs is just sad.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
newBlazingAngel
*****A breastplate of boobs is just sad.
****** Pants of Thunderbuns is right out.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Hipho
****** Pants of Thunderbuns is right out.
******* Any sort of armor/clothing/magic items to compensate for deficiencies in your anatomy are just plain too pathetic to live.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
planswalker
******* Any sort of armor/clothing/magic items to compensate for deficiencies in your anatomy are just plain too pathetic to live.
******** Telling this to the Artificer with a magical clockwork replacement arm is likely to get you strangled to death.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*********For the last time, we're playing spycraft.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*.....you put a WHAT in your WHA- screw it. No more cyborgs or magic items for you.
*There is no such spell as Xeuclid's cold shower.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Doorhandle
*.....you put a WHAT in your WHA- screw it. No more cyborgs or magic items for you.
*There is no such spell as Xeuclid's cold shower.
** There is also no "Archimedian tub of nudity".
* "Socratic Method" is not an exalted charm.
** Neither is a "Swiss Patent Office" a valid manse description.
* "Apples as Inspiration" does not allow random fruit to be used to boost intelligence.
* A spell called "Tesla's Revenge" should use lightning or electricity in some fashion.
** "Edison's Inception" might be more versatile.
*** "Carver's Creation" will not summon a peanut butter golem.
*** "Mario's Mayhem" might involve pipes or monkeys, but it won't involve a pizza golem.