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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
***Just because I can make a great wyrm prismatic dragon at seventh level, doesn't mean that I should, unless we're in a very high optimization environment.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Not allowed to cast Silent Still Blasphemy and blame it on the Druid's animal companion.
*There is no such thing as a Dire Skunk, and even if there were, it would be in bad taste to polymorph the cleric into one.
**I'm not allowed to argue that the cleric's been walking around in full-plate for a week and thus actually smells better as a result of this.
*Casting Fell Drain Fireball at a flock of pidgeons will incinerate them, not animate them as pidgeonwights.
**Even if I apply the Subdual Substitution metamagic to it.
***There is no conceivable way for me to get pidgeonwights, so stop asking.
*If playing a necromancer, not allowed to start giggling maniacally when asked if anyone can raise the dead.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sgt. Cookie
*No matter how high my perform modifer is, my Bard cannot summon a burning zepplin of lead.
*I am no longer allowed to make Bards based on the characters and cast of Brutal Legend.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Beowulf DW
*I am no longer allowed to make Bards based on the characters and cast of Brutal Legend.
**Nor is my bard allowed to take Leadership solely to receive a cohort capable of helping him play "The Greatest Song in the World"
***Nor any tribute thereof.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
On an unrelated note, the Age of Metal would be a fantastic D&D setting. There is also the fact that Brutal Legend was way too short...
OK, it's decided. Brutal Legend will be converted to D&D. *Runs to homebrew thread*
PS, Eddie Riggs would probably be a Bardsader or Bardbarian.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* If my wizard is wearing blue robes covered in runes, mystical, exotic amulets and rings, large, pointy hat and pair of glasses ahd has a large beard and carries a huge spellbook and magic staff, I'm no longer allowed to complain that every single enemy with more that two points in Int tries to kill me first.
** No longer allowed to complain everybody can tell in great detail how they guy throwi fireballs around looks like either.
*** Both extend to any kind of caster who looks distinguish.
* If I step foward and throw a spell I'm going to assume every single enemy will try to stop me from doing that again.
* If the GM uses enemy wizards dressed like normal guys and throwing spells from behind a cover, he is trying to give me a hint, not screw the party over.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Yes. The joke where you cast Glitterdust on the vampire was funny once. It does not bear repeating.
*Casting Bounce on the Dragoon's armor, while hilarious, only works once.
**Said Dragoon would like me to know that, if it happens again, I will be stabbed.
***Using said spell to turn the Throne Room into a bounce house is not going to earn me any brownie points with the king.
*Contrary to what my wizard insists, there is, in fact, a situation in which casting Bounce is frowned upon. In fact, there are a great many.
**Combining Bounce with Grease is right out.
***I am henceforth forbidden from researching the custom spell Bounce, or any spell with similar effects.
****No longer allowed to research my own spells. Ever.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Kira_the_5th
**Nor is my bard allowed to take Leadership solely to receive a cohort capable of helping him play "The Greatest Song in the World"
***Nor any tribute thereof.
**** Trying to summon shiny demons while hitchhiking is similarly forbidden.
***** Shiny demons do not manifest by "shining".
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Rockphed
**** Trying to summon shiny demons while hitchhiking is similarly forbidden.
***** Shiny demons do not manifest by "shining".
******There is no artifact called "the pick of destiny"
*******Wielding an axe and a guitar does not constitute "dual-wielding axes" and any attempt to argue such will result in rocks and death.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Tattooing the magic missile spell to every slot in your body enough times to fill your body with the spell does not constitute clothes. Especially as a gnome. Especially in the Elf Queen's court.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* Having Power Attack and Cleave is good. Having a full party with Power Attack and Cleave is not…
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I may not activate my moment of persience on a craft (pancakes) check.
My pancakes turned out flawlessly this morning and I think I may have done this subconsciously.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I am never allowed to possess a Rod of Lordly Might.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I may never play an Ozodrin again.
** Said Ozodrin is not allowed to have a split personality, where one refuses to fight and the other murders everything
*** I am not allowed to have 32 eyes on my head in the shape of a crown
****I may not try to grapple eat the party spellcaster thus resulting in his hands falling off
*****I may not throw my limbs coverd in barbed teeth at the town tailor
******I may not look hansom while coverd in tentacles and eyes even if my Cha is 22
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I may not point out flaws in homebrew classes to their creator. Even if they're glaring. Especially if they make it overpowered.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* Do not threaten the shop keeper who is offering to enchant your weapon.
** Especially if that threat involves bodily harm to the shopkeeper.
*** This goes double after you've already handed the weapon over so they could inspect it.
**** Even if the shopkeeper decides to enchant it at a discount after said intimidation, I shouldn't be surprised when the weapon comes back cursed instead of enchanted.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
planswalker
*I may not point out flaws in homebrew classes to their creator. Even if they're glaring. Especially if they make it overpowered.
You can always point flaws in mine.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
planswalker
*I may not point out flaws in homebrew classes to their creator. Even if they're glaring. Especially if they make it overpowered.
Umm...
At least on this forum, pointing out flaws is exactly what you're supposed to do.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
that's what's said, yes. My experience has been that the creators are very sensitive and take it personally when you do. Not always, no, but quite often.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
I can confirm that statement but I make it a point to accept their advice reguardless.
*May not compensate for a character with an intelligence and wisdom lower than 10 by giving them enough defensive prowess to survive any Darwin Awards they might invoke.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*May not make a character that's sole purpose is achieving Darwin awards in attempted TPK
**I'm not allowed to have my character volunteer as the party face if he has a CHA of 3 and no ranks in any social skill, especially if it would be IC.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I may not look through this thread for ideas.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
VGLordR2
*I may not look through this thread for ideas.
** I may not even casually GLANCE at this thread for ideas.
*** Looking anywhere in the vicinity of this thread within 48 hours of character creation is strictly prohibited.
**** The same goes for TVTropes.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* 6 CHA is not going to allow me to seduce anything.
** Not anything that I want to seduce, anyways.
* I do not get a bonus to seducing simply for being female.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I will remember, in the future, that Grafts are a privelige, not a right.
*No, the verbal components for Animate Objects do not involve a musical number.
*Taking a fallen opponent's skull is, while frowned upon, not terribly odd. There are worse trophies to take. Immediately casting Animate Dead and Permanencied Levitate on it and naming the resultant creature my familiar, however, is very frowned upon.
**Awakening my newfound 'familiar' is extremely so.
***Giving the skull a wisecracking personality and naming him Murray is right out.
****Fine, I can name him Murray. The DM will not allow me to run around his campaign with a familiar named 'Skull****y'.
*I am not to be offended when an enemy Paladin doesn't laugh at Murray's jokes.
**No, casting Hideous Laughter on him as a response to this is not funny either.
*Not allowed to poke fun at my fellow Runner's abysmal accent.
**Even if it's impossible to tell whether his character is supposed to be German, Russian, or Middle Eastern.
*There is literally no conceivable reason for my character to start the campaign with 100 Gallons of Nano-paste in his wardrobe.
*No matter what the dice say or how many Righteous Furies I just rolled, I can't decapitate Galgaliel with a thrown Progressive Knife.
*An A.T. Tactician's purpose is to Neutralize the A.T. Field while the rest of the party mops up. Not to solo the world-killing abominations.
*No, there is no such thing as Positron Cannon Tag, and even if there were, I would be court-martialed for playing it.
*Just because two of the other Eva Pilots have the Manufactured background and the Replaceable trait, I'm not allowed to argue that using them for cannon fodder is acceptable.
*Yes. A god of music riding a hot pink chocobo at Mach 1 across the plains does, in fact, draw attention. In fact, it draws a great deal of attention.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*In Pathfinder, my Int-based Fighter may not use Craft (Arms and Armor) to combine a crossbow with any magic item that continually produces water to create a hydraulically powered automatic crossbow.
**I may not then use Knowledge(engineering) to make large scale siege weapon versions of said weapon.
***I may not continue to abuse these skills such that my fighter is out-performing the sorcerer with his latest semi-mundane gadgets.
****I may no longer play Int-based Fighters.
*****I may no longer play Fighters.
******Gunslingers are right out.
*******Your character is not Edgar Figaro.
********Wouldn't you rather roll up a cleric?
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
wouldn't a rogue or bard do that easier?
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Isn't 'int-based fighter' a method of suicide to begin with?
* My multiple-personality wizard is not allowed to be the campaign villain (even when they are).
* Clerics that I play are not allowed to claim that they are more dangerous than their deity (even and especially when they are).
* If I somehow find myself in the position of being the party's ethical compass, I cannot roleplay a slow descent into PTSD and madness (this goes double if I am also the IC leader of the party).
* My position as the party face is not an excuse to persuade succubi to sleep with characters I don't like.
- Especially not if the whole idea is to tell him/her/it, "Take just a little, I want him to remember not to mess with my stuff."
* "Don't break the loot!" is not acceptable as an in-character statement (even when it is).
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Beowulf DW
.
*******Your character is not Edgar Figaro.
******** On that note, when playing in Eberron, I am not allowed to make a monk capable of suplexing a Lightning Rail.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Kira_the_5th
******** On that note, when playing in Eberron, I am not allowed to make a monk capable of suplexing a Lightning Rail.
********* or a Ghost Locomotive.
********** Epecially a Ghost Locomotive.
*********** All playing of Fantasy Six before a session is banned.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ryu
wouldn't a rogue or bard do that easier?
Quote:
Isn't 'int-based fighter' a method of suicide to begin with?
That's the entire beauty of it.
* Having 6 Charisma doesn't give me an excuse to hit on female monsters
** Even if I cut my own eyes out, I cannot make a Gorgon fall in love with me.
*** It's not railroading when GM is just trying to save himself from mental images to disgusting for him to handle.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* nor is he allowed to suplex a collosal dragon
* or a mountain
* no matter how hard I try, my monk cannot suplex the planet we are on.
* the DM will not let me use a homebrew feat that discounts max size for grappling/tripping any more.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Suplexing the DM while hilarious is right out.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
In an Evil campaign, if I attempt to Ressurrect my (good) opponent's White Dragonhide armor, expecting an ally, I should first consider the fact that said opponent once had an albino Gold Dragon for a friend, who is now deceased.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lord_Gareth
Isn't 'int-based fighter' a method of suicide to begin with?
I wanted the skill points and the full BAB. Also, I was kind of drunk.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Qwertystop
In an Evil campaign, if I attempt to Ressurrect my (good) opponent's White Dragonhide armor, expecting an ally, I should first consider the fact that said opponent once had an albino Gold Dragon for a friend, who is now deceased.
HA! that's a nice way around the "resercect the armour they're wearing" trick.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Qwertystop
In an Evil campaign, if I attempt to Ressurrect my (good) opponent's White Dragonhide armor, expecting an ally, I should first consider the fact that said opponent once had an albino Gold Dragon for a friend, who is now deceased.
I should also remember most Evil Dragons of all sorts are kind of jerks.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Qwertystop
In an Evil campaign, if I attempt to Ressurrect my (good) opponent's White Dragonhide armor, expecting an ally, I should first consider the fact that said opponent once had an albino Gold Dragon for a friend, who is now deceased.
i gotta remember this trick...
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Researching and casting an epic spell that annihilates a city at the cost of killing my entire party in their sleep is no longer appropriate.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Using a friend's dirty trick to casting 9th level spells at ecl 7 is banned outright. Especially if it's done in WBL. Even more so if said friend is the dm.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
planswalker
*Using a friend's dirty trick to casting 9th level spells at ecl 7 is banned outright. Especially if it's done in WBL. Even more so if said friend is the dm.
**Improving the trick to work at ecl 1 should be subject to even less approval.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* I will never again give the party paladin a sword which contains "the power of the angels" only to play "Fly Away Now" whenever he uses it.
** On that note, "Repent, Mother****er" is not an appropriate battle-cry, even for an Inquisitor.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*When trapped in a prison cell made entirely of diamond, I am no longer allowed to murder the fighter and then use the wall as the component for his resurrection.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Kira_the_5th
* I will never again give the party paladin a sword which contains "the power of the angels" only to play "Fly Away Now" whenever he uses it.
** On that note, "Repent, Mother****er" is not an appropriate battle-cry, even for an Inquisitor.
That game was awesome.
On that note:
*I may not use balors as grenades, no matter what my strength score is.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
**neither may balors be used as improvised melee weapons. No matter the strength score of the party warforged. not even the party half-celestial troll.
*also, trolls may not have half-fiend or half-celestial heritage. Half-dragon is also out.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I may not have Craft (Insult).
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Despite your bonus to diplomacy, if you insult the king, he will have you thrown out into the street.
**Don't try it. That old guy next to the King is the pre-eminent wizard in the kingdom.
***Don't even think it.
****Fine! Go ahead, and when you've been turned to ashes, don't blame me!
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* Just because Chose One of Godess of Death is four years old child it doesn't mean I can give her spanking for talking back to me.
** Even if I'm evil.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Man on Fire
* Just because Chose One of Godess of Death is four years old child it doesn't mean I can give her spanking for talking back to me.
** Even if I'm evil.
I'm not sure what you're saying. Clarify?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lord_Gareth
*When trapped in a prison cell made entirely of diamond, I am no longer allowed to murder the fighter and then use the wall as the component for his resurrection.
Why not? That's brilliant!
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
I'm not sure what you're saying. Clarify?
I'm not sure what to clarify, which part you don't get?
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
-getting the Hand and Eye of Vecna does not make me eligile to complete the set.
-I will not become Vecna if I collect them all.
-volunteering Vecna as an organ donor is right out.
-not allowed to play Mr. Potatoe Head with Vecna especially if I can.
Before I volunteer to be an organ donor I will check if they need a free musical instrument or vital organs.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Qwertystop
I'm not sure what you're saying. Clarify?
Why not? That's brilliant!
To be fair, I was a priest of Lastai (goddess of pleasure and joy, BoED) and I kinda strangled him to death without warning in order to enact said plan. There were...words...exchanged with my deity over that one.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lord_Gareth
To be fair, I was a priest of Lastai (goddess of pleasure and joy, BoED) and I kinda strangled him to death without warning in order to enact said plan. There were...words...exchanged with my deity over that one.
that's because you forgot to give him a *proper* way to die...
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* I may no longer write backstories which I can not proof-read due to nausea.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*No matter how intelligent I or my characters are, I may not find ways to perform a feat without actually using the required feat.
*Iron Heart Surging pregnancy may not be evil, but it is heavily frowned upon.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*If my bard is lieing to the party about his name and class, I eventually need to stop and tell them.
**If my bard has gone through more than one identity and at least three levels without the party noticing, they need to be informed.
***If my bard has had more than five identities and more than 8 levels with the party, I need to tell them right away
****If my bard has had more than a dozen personas and reaches epic level with the party, they deserve whatever they get.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
To be fair, I was a priest of Lastai (goddess of pleasure and joy, BoED) and I kinda strangled him to death without warning in order to enact said plan. There were...words...exchanged with my deity over that one.
Rightfully so if you didn't ask permission. Seeing your cleric's goddess, he/she should really know all about safe, sane, and consensual.
:smallbiggrin:
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Doorhandle
Rightfully so if you didn't ask permission. Seeing your cleric's goddess, he/she should really know all about safe, sane, and consensual.
:smallbiggrin:
... that's what she said...
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*"COMMON, MOTHERFORNICATOR! YOU SPEAK IT?!" is not an appropiate way to discern wether the other discussionparty speaks common
**no, neither it is for othe rlanguages
***maybe for abyssal, BUT WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT'S HOLY SHOULD AN ANGEL SPEAK ABYSSAL!
****no more partyface for me, no, not even then
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I am not to burst out laughing after a 15 minute description of the BBEG
*If I am the onlly one familiar with the monster manual, I need to explain to the other players that zombie bites will not infect people
*I may not duplicate anything I saw in dorkness rising.