Yeah but because that's the one in the title it's the one I believe in. Everybody knows that Wikipedia is the ultimate source of valid information. (This is logic! :b )
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Well said Tweedledee. :smalltongue:
Incidentally ,there is a spider named after C'thulu. Pretty one.
He advocates napoleonic tactics and weapon styles as superior to modern military doctrine and equipment against a slow moving, melee combatant force.
If you don't see the problem there, it's because you don't have even the slightest passing familiarity with anything military.
In particular, the battle of Yonkers is described as having an inflexible, cold war era general who wanted to put a show on for the press. There is nothing about either "putting a show on for the press" or "cold war tactics" that would indicate a lack of ammunition. Cold war tactics would indicate things like "Screw this, nuke the city if we can't hold", and putting on a show is the core element of Shock and Awe, which does not skimp on the firepower.
Hell, a single abrams tank carries the munitions, without reloads, to kill literally thousands of zombies. Not counting the ones run over. In addition, the crew is essentially invulnerable to the zombies. So, why the tanks at Yonkers had problems, I have absolutely no idea. His descriptions don't fit standard tactics, armaments, and tactics, and there's no reason given for the wild variance.
It's being marketed as not a spoof book. I have to assume that the author/publisher knows what they want the book to be.Quote:
However I don't think we should be speculating on the author's intent, like you do when you claim it's not written as a spoof book. We can't possibly know without a statement from the author.
Nah. The guy falls into one of the other military fads. The kind that subscribes to big rounds dominating everything and that over-values bolt action rifles.
Realistically, big rounds are probably of less value against zombies than against other humans.
The M-16 is hardly the only good option for a weapon, but it's not a bad one. I went the AR path myself for my personal rifle. It's great if you've got the cash to customize it and such, but plenty of other options exist. I would not consider anything Max Brooks wrote a particularly good summary of firearm options.
Additionally, the correct amount of ammo is, IMO, as much as you can carry without interfering with your ability to move. For me, personally, that's about 250 rounds for the rifle alone, with about 30 more for the sidearm. The weight of an extra couple of mags is really a fairly minor tradeoff when you're concerned about overwhelming numbers of slow moving things.
I would not bother with any kind of throwing weapon. Sure, I have a few. They're fun toys. Throwing stars, knives, cards, etc...but seriously, the kind of luck/skill needed to pierce a skull and destroy a brain? Even the most novice marksman/experienced thrower is better off with a gun, or even just running away.
The comic is much better and more realistic in general. If a group as terminally stupid as the TV show lot is still alive(at least mostly), you have to wonder...why is everyone else dead?
Tyn, just wanted to reply, that i bought my copy in the humor section of the book shop.Quote:
It's being marketed as not a spoof book. I have to assume that the author/publisher knows what they want the book to be.
If we're talking the star-shaped shuriken, while they're unlikely to be an instantly lethal blow unless you're lucky enough to hit the throat...if they're hefty enough (and many are, and it doesn't take much heft) you can puncture organs, stick points into bones, etc. Not so useful against a zombie, but against a human they're pretty dangerous. Like Solaris mentioned, they're generally not as punchy (weighty) as a regular throwing knife, (though antique examples are often fairly solid, and rather than being a flat star-shaped 'blade' like in pop-culture, are basically in the style two of the straight shuriken welded together) but they do take away the need for having to learn the number of rotations, or learning a no-spin throw. Just need to learn to throw straight.
I am no military man, so my knowledge about modern military tactics is reduced to whatever seeps into popular culture. Are you sure you're not talking about World War Z? If you are, go read the books again so you can re-familiarize yourself with the difference between the two books.
The Battle of Yonkers is part of World War Z, a completely different book. Why are you even mentioning it in a discussion about the Survival Guide? To be fair, it does take the slightest passing familiarity with anything literary to recognize that difference between a book and it's sequel.
I did also buy this book in the humour section of my book-store. I have never ever seen this book mentioned in a review as real, serious, or otherwise without humerous content. Could you be so kind as to show me the serious reviews you mention that explicitly mention this book as not being a spoof? If you can provide this evidence I'd be happy to change my view. But until you can provide such evidence, or I stumble upon it myself I refuse to accept that the Zombie Survival Guide is anything other than a funny spoof book with some common sense advice in it. Quite frankly I don't see how anyone without their feet planted firmly in reality can think otherwise.
In films.
Tank VS Zombies
Why the crap does someone always open the hatch? I'm sure it's just a media thing, but I know they teach crews to seal the hatches, not open them when surrounded.
Battle Busses
Armored bus with Steel Bars over windows, people armed with machine guns at every window. Front windscreen always happens to a massive sheet of glass, always gets broken, never has bars on it. Minor vulnerability that is easily accounted for.
Also, someone inevitably ends up bitten inside the battle bus, who then somehow manages to eat everyone else in the battle bus, despite the X number of people holding guns and other effective weapons inside the bus.
And Brooks could just as easily have considered it as a thought experiment so much that he had enough for a book.
then I suppose the laugh is on those who've actually bought the book.
He must be wringing his hands Mr. Burns-style and thinking "I can't believe so many people are taking this book seriously". A certain SF author comes to mind..who knows, maybe Brooks will start his own religion sometime soon.
I know for sure that if I ever wrote a guide on how to fight dragons, I'd consider anybody who took it as a serious issue (and my book as a serious survival guide), a... well.. I'll shut up now. let's just say contempt would feature massively in my opinion about my readers.
Anybody who spends any time making plans for the impossible or preparing for the absurd (which is what we've been doing so far) should not forget to pack his sense of humour along with the rest of the survival kit..
anyway, let's assume the author really means it as a serious contribution to the welbeing of humanity in case of zombie outbreak. and that he actually believes this to be a real possibility. All that does is tell us that HE is nuts.
I've read other books about idiotic arguments, supporting stupid theories, or written by people who were certified nutjobs (or should have been). Nothing wrong in reading those books despite the sheer idiocy of it's content.
..the issue is in the people taking those texts seriously.
it doesn't matter in which isle of the bookshop the book is stored..anybody who reaches the cashier with a copy of this book and doesn't sport this :smallamused: expression, is doing it wrong.
Speaking of zombie apocalypses, my school's Humans vs Zombies game is coming up soonish. I haven't played since my first semester here, when I was the only human to survive the whole week. So, should I play again?
We're probably not allowed to use Nerf guns; some of the kids are petitioning the administration to let us this year, but we haven't been allowed before because there was a shooting here once eighteen years ago. The only things we can use are projectile socks (and mine might kill real zombies; I rolled them up really tightly, and once I hit a girl in the face by accident and drew tears). And I'm debating even carrying those if I play, just for the challenge.
I'm starting to really like reading some of Ravens Cry's text. There's a serious psychological concern about any out-break scenario. That concern is, "How many people are really ready to end human life? The simulation of human life?"
What I'm talking about is the first few minutes. The first day. Before everyone learns to accept that the flesh falling off the zombies makes them Zombie and not Human.
I've heard stories of hardened military sniper school graduates who on their first mission couldn't take that shot and kill an enemy. And these are military guys who've been yelled at, screamed at, cussed at, beat up, and have a more disciplined psyche than most. They're professional killers and yet they have to come out of their own shadow to admit that they couldn't pull that trigger.
Sure, there are people sitting behind their monitors reading this and thinking, "Eh, I could do it." But I really wonder... Valid questions arise in response to that blithe comment. "When was the last time I went shooting? When was the last time I threw my axe? When was the last time I shot my bow? How did I perform with these things? Do I take them with me in my vehicle and where-ever I go?"
Here is a...partially psychological answer for the reason why the masses turn into zombies. The reason is because they were either less prepared than they thought they were, or because they let their guard slip once... Once on Z Day.
I know I probably would not.
I have no weapons training. I've fired firearms, so I know how they kick and are loud, very loud but only very rarely. I used to fire a bow and arrow, but that was over a decade ago.
I do have some first aid training, but only low level.
I think it depends on how fast people will be able to make the emotional disconnect between zombie and the people we once knew them as. I know once I was positive they were zombies, I would regard them as nothing more then hostile wildlife, and being that I live in the country, and regular go fishing and hunting, I'm fairly certain(though not 100%) that I'd be pretty capable of pulling the trigger. Until I was capable of making that emotional disconnect though, I doubt I'd be able to. Hopefully I don't get eaten before I manage to process it through my brain.
I am confident that if I ever saw my mother, my father, sisters or brother shamble towards me wanting to eat my brains I'd break down. Maybe not lie down and die, but definately not be able to pull any triggers or some such. Running away in disbelief seems like the most likely scenario.
Difficult to admit, but I think I'd be completely useless seeing close family turn into zombies.
To be honest, I'd just run.
I have a bike, so I know I am faster than a lurcher, and once bloating and decay start it will be much easier, but for the first while running, well biking with haste, will be my modus operandi.
Why exactly?Quote:
Originally Posted by Story Time
What's not to like? :smallwink:
I must admit, for as much as I have routine nightmares where I have to clobber my roommates mercilessly into a pulp for turning into a zombie and ambushing me while I'm on the computer and getting up to go to the bathroom late at night, I'd probably waste a whole lot of breath screaming while running until I can't run so good anymore and then it'd be up to luck whether that screaming and my position in particular meant I was dead.
I imagine that the most likely fate I'd have if I were not screened from the initial outbreak by being out in the boonies to start with, would be to one of those unenviable blighters who managed to get bitten fighting off a zombie and had to contemplate how best to prevent themselves from being a burden to others before they turn.
Had a fun dream once last year involving my roommate turning, me waking up to him chewing on my leg, me killing him with the crowbar I kept under my mattress, and then gagging myself, writing a note explaining the situation, hobbling myself, and then tying my hands behind my back.
That was a weird and oddly detailed dream.
Edit: Of course, anybody around here who knows me would assume I had just gone completely insane and my paranoia had escalated or something. Until they tried to undo my gag and I tried to eat them.
I've never had a dream like that.
Now, I did, twice, have a dream where I had too much blood in me and was therefore going to explode, tasting, smelling the blood, feeling the pressure build and build from inside me, my skin tightening, and once of a hobo who ate cigarette butts and burned to death from the inside, and of my sister floating toward me, only for her face turn out not to be her face, but some monster, or of been chased by a decapitated snake head, it's fangs dripping venom, but zombie apocalypses?
No, I don't think I've dreamed about that.
You all must be some kind of freaks.:smalltongue:
Now here's an answer that actually sounds like it's the truth. :smallsmile: I'll expand a little more in this post, but first...
Lucidity. The implication of intelligence above norm.
A bicycle and escape is the single best strategy in a zombie out-break scenario. The bicycle consumes no fuel beyond calories. It is quiet. Its maintenance requirements are relatively low. It does not consume food or water like horses or mules. Learning to repair a bicycle is more simple than compared to other vehicles. It is also ( here is the important part ) light-weight and can be carried over major obstructions where other automobiles could not ( this includes rivers, fallen trees, rugged earth terrain, et cetera ).
Fire-arms's noise will simply attract zombies, by the way. I add this in for all those who think that guns will save them.
But escape to where?
A place with no zombies? A place with no humans? Hm...
I said that I would expand on Mathis's point so here it is: Stop and think for a minute ( everyone, not just Mathis :smalltongue: ) about those closest to you. "Who do I see every day? Who do I meet with day-to-day? My family members... My friends... My co-workers...
"If I meet a zombie these are the people most likely to be those zombies because they are the people I spend the most time with. Those closest to me, the people that they know, and the acquaintances of those people are the ones who in an out-break scenario pose the closest threat.
"The one person that I might race across town for in a mad dash could be one who was caught...and then changed."
See? The hypothetical is not so fun anymore, is it? Every-one likes to talk about theoretical zombie out-breaks. They like to talk about math and statistics ( I love the math ), but really it's about people. Lives of real humans which were lost in a ridiculous fiction of science scenario. See, it's only fun until it becomes personal.
I own an AK-47. I'd probably use it to hunt rather than kill zombies. I've got a tomahawk-throwing set-up in my back yard. I could probably hit what I threw at, but I'd never trust a little ninja star to do any damage. Gimli's axe, maybe, but even then that's a waste of a lot of energy for only one zombie.
I'd rather throw rocks and break the zombies' noses. Rocks are quiet. They're every-where. Broken noses and blood-doused olfactory organs means the zombie couldn't track prey at long distances and through thick brush.
But could I hurt the cadavers which were once my family? No, I'd probably just run too. Meeting up with other survivors might help me. Organizing a fighting unit against the zombies would take some time, but it could be done. But I shouldn't be that optimistic. What if the other survivors I meet are less moral than I am?
SpoilerThere are life sized zombie targets at my local gun range, and in tests my brother and I did, I was able to get 9 out of 11 shots in the upper head with my stepfather's 25 cal/ 9 mm/ 10mm (it has exchangeable barrels) handgun at 30 yards, 7 out of 8 in the head (the first just hit the face, not the upper head, but I'm counting it) with my mother's shotgun (not buckshot, slugs) at 50 yards, and out of 10 shots in the head (four of which were upper head) with my brother's .22 long rifle at 70 yards. I also hit a dinner plate with an SKS carbine (given a hunting scope, though) at 75 with all seven shots the stripper clip had loaded. Pretty proud of that.
However, my only real experience ever getting in a melee fight is braining a guy with a chair and shanking a mugger in the leg with his own knife (turns out he also had a gun. Alas, my poor kneecap!) as I like to avoid trouble. Also, being your typical disaster worried guy, I've put way too much thought into planning for everything from hurricane to zombies, I'd be too paranoid to go with anyone who wasn't competent, no matter how scared ****less (which doubtless I would be) I was. Also, I rely on glasses for seeing sharper details. And I'm an extremely light sleeper and rather jumpy, which could cause problems. Oh, and I pretty much refuse to go anywhere for more than a few hours without my dogs and my bird so I can care for them.
I'd find a way to get myself a role that kept me somewhat out of harm's way and usually kept with someone more skilled in combat than I. I am somewhat skilled in agriculture of the making and running greenhouses and raising goats and fowl variety, have done minor surgery on myself multiple times (a few stitches and removal of stone, metal, or wood here and there), my uncle is an ex-military gunsmith and autoworker and he's taught me some of both trades (not enough to make anything from scratch, but enough to maintain cars and firearms), I've taken architecture classes and done volunteer construction work, and I love to cook. Anything else really isn't that interesting or useful, I guess. So I'd try to convince the group to find a safe home, and then stay behind to maintain it. Learn some more here and there, and then maybe take guard duty or go look for other survivors. Loot would clearly disappear quickly, and disease and other humans would be the most dangerous of threats, as in any disaster situation.
So, some tiny tidbits from the top of my head:
Cayene pepper and tabasco sauce mixed and strained into a spray bottle makes weak but useful pepper spray.
When hotwiring, it's usually blue to yellow wire.
Watching your feet and walking sideways like the agents in command and conquer makes your footsteps quieter.
Find a safe and efficient source of entertainment or you WILL snap.
Look for close, trustworthy companionship and forge as strong a bond as you can with the people around you assigning people around you as different members of your new 'family' if need be. Distinctly defined relationships help you focus, and are very healthy in prolonged times among people you previously didn't know. However, steel yourself in case one is harmed in any way.
NEVER PANIC. If someone does panic, do your best to remove them from the situation. Without hurting them, preferably.
And I think that's all for now. I'll find my survival planning notebook later if I can. It's got a plan involving meeting my father at his home in Florida and living off of one of the large lighthouses out in the reefs.
Also FIRE BAD.
EDIT: And if I were to meet any of you wonderful GitPersons during said apocalypse, I would defend you as though you were my family. Which is to say, if anyone we were to meet wandering about so much as raised a fist at you there would be a gun pointed at them as quickly as I could draw it.
Which, admittedly, has lead to trouble in the recent past, but it's still my policy.
somehow I feel that some sort of parallel with looting masses should be drawn..but I guess that's either too convoluted for me on an empty stomach, or that it veers into social-commentary tainted with political non forum-acceptable stuff.