Between Summer 30 and Fall 1, XXX1
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0000.jpg
A bird's nest materializes in front of me, bringing the rest of the scene with it.
A tree. A girl, her body clambered half up it, clinging to the bark with one arm, her legs scrabbling at the lower boughs...
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0001.jpg
She coos, and leans close to the nest. Her face is bright and lively, and I'm trying to decide if it's worth it to see --
the branches look so frail, frail as a baby bird...
She laughs at how I balk, and keeps talking.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0002.jpg
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0003.jpg
The girl seems...so happy...I try and climb the tree, just to see it: something that could make someone as happy as she is, right now.
Is that why I did it?...I don't...
It's why I do it, the me who exists outside the dream. How do you get to happiness, at the top of a tree?
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0005.jpg
and her feet lost their grip on the branches, sending her first dangling, then sliding down, snapping bits of tree in a shower around her.
She falls onto me, and we end up at a heap together...
The dream fades into laughter...
And then...
And then?
Fall 1, XXX1
I shake off the dream -- who laughs at you in a non-underwear dream, anyway?
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0006.jpg
And it looks like it's going to rain tommorow...Joy.
Since I have no crops, I decide to take care of the animals early.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0007.jpg
And when I milk Clara, I end up needing a bigger bottle. I'm betting this will sell for a lot more money, too.
There's mail when I go to check, too.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0008.jpg
bright!
- Rick's Shop
It would be nice to have some furnishings...But I'd rather have money, at least right now.
The mountain is almost entirely in shades of gold, brown, and red. It's not half as pretty as I'd imagined fall in a place like this to be...I wonder why that is? I mean, you'd sort of picture this being the sort of place you go to see great foliage colors, right?
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0010.jpg
It is, however, host to some nice-looking mushrooms...
But the flowers all appear to have died, too.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0011.jpg
When I head deeper, I find...
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0012.jpg
Ann, staring something in the big tree. She goes up under the branches, where I can't see her clearly...Is there something over there?
I walk up to the tree, and shake a branch to make my presence known through the veil.
"Hey, Ann. What's up?"
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0014.jpg
"It's not ready to fly yet...And the ground's started to get cold this time of year...I don't know if it'd be safe..."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0015.jpg
"Warm it up how?"
I look down...The straps on her overalls are hanging off her shoulders, and the neck of her shirt is pulled downward, exposing the warm, relaxed line of her cleavage, present but without being forced into happening...Her skin a few shades paler there, like the lost cousin of whiteflesh peaches...
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0016.jpg
It looks happy...
"Don't look!"
She snaps me out of that gulf down which braver men than I have lost their will to fight. She looks miffed, and her face is red.
"Sorry...Why do you even put a bird there?"
"...It...wasn't moving. It was so cold... I wanted to warm it up as quickly as I could. So don't go thinking it's anything weird, alright?"
She explains, turning herself away.
"Well, it looks OK now. I guess it was really lucky you just happened to be nearby, oh saver of tiny birds."
Her expression rights itself, back into its normal cheer...
There's something about that happiness, the bird, the tree, that seems to echo through my head.
"I was looking for birds, actually. This tree has always had bird's..."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0018.jpg
She didn't need to shout that 'hey,' you know...
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0020.jpg
"Birds?"
...Why do I keep remembering these things in dreams? Is someone trying to tell me something?
...Why did I even think that?
"I think so, yeah..."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0021.jpg
...Has she been laughing at me, all these years, in some sort of bruised childhood antecedote?
"Well, I guess I fell, too...Actually, I got more hurt than you did, didn't I? I still have a..."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0025.jpg
"Really?"
I lean forward and lift a branch. Yeah, there it is...A little part where the texture of her skin's off, hidden in her bangs...
It was a good bit of blood, but we didn't notice it at first; that's what I remember when I see it. We were both too busy laughing at how silly it all seemed...
Yeah, even as she was getting cut up, and I had bruises for days, she was making me laugh.
My lips curl into a nostalgic smile.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0027.jpg
"Oh, sorry. Again." I laugh. She laughs back, and puts the bird back in its nest, her face reddening as she re-adjusts her clothes.
"I was thinking about that, when I came here..."
"...Well, I guess that reminiscing may have saved the day, huh? That's great. I'm glad a couple of dumb kids ages ago could have helped the bird, you know?"
She stares at me a moment, and darts away.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0029.jpg
Her footsteps stop, after a while. I can't tell where she went, and I wave goodbye to the bird to go see the Harvest Sprites.
"Heya. I was wondering...These brown mushrooms. Are they OK to eat?"
When I show him the mushroom, he brightens like a christmas star.
"They are wonderful to eat! So tasty <3. They are the favorite of all the Harvest Sprites."
He's practically drooling...
"You can have it if you like it so much."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0033.jpg
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0034.jpg
This is a lot of Lucky Charms-speak over a mushroom, buddy.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0035.jpg
Still, nothing like a good deed getting rewarded.
When I step back outside...
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0036.jpg
There she is again. Did she just go somewhere and come back? Was she waiting for me to leave.
"What are you looking at now?"
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0037.jpg
"Next to some rabbit poop. The rabbit's..."
Why are you looking at Rabbit poop, Ann? That just sounds like a bad thing to ask...
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0039.jpg
"Do rabbits even eat Acorns?"
"...Well, there's a type of rabbit that does...But I didn't even know we had them out here! I thought they were all gone!...Not like the acorn will serve this one."
She grins.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0040.jpg
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0042.jpg
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0044.jpg
Grey approaches from my favorite
eavesdropping accidentally overhearing spot.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0045.jpg
...He's...He's smiling.
Well, smirking.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0049.jpg
I'm scared of this, too, Ann. Hold me.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0050.jpg
Oh, like it's not obvious... I'm just waiting to hear the story.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0051.jpg
who keeps forgetting about the treats she..."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0053.jpg
This flusters Ann right away. Apparently, the power of brothers to get the goats of their little sisters is infinite and transcends age.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0054.jpg
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0055.jpg
He puts his hands in his pockets in an attitude of total victory.
"Forget it!"
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0056.jpg
And she chases him off, trying to get him to listen to her rage.
...That was...Kind of adorable.
I swing by the bakery with an egg for Elli; her face lights up when she sees it.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0057.jpg
"It-It's your birthday? Why didn't you tell me in advance?"
"It's not like I expected anyone to make a big deal out of it. It's just another birthday..."
"You should expect! It's a birthday! Tell me what you really want!"
She looks surprised; I can't blame her. This is the most exclamation points I've used in such a short time in years.
"I'm really fine with this."
"You are kidding me."
"No, I'm not...I know it's little, and I'll use a bundle of them just making a cake, but... All the same, it's something you worked hard for, right? The love in something...Well, not love, but care and fondness and...Well, that matters more than anything else, don't you think?"
I grin and take off my hat for a second to ruffle my hair.
"Well, yeah, but...A girl like you deserves more, you know? A nice dress, dinner and dancing on the town, a moonlit carriage ride, or something! Like, you know...A proper treat."
She takes a step back, her face flushed. Yeah, like I could do that sort of thing. I mean, I've done dancing, and dinner and a movie sort of dates... But I don't think the sort of fanciness, that sincerity, is something I could bring.
Anyway, I've said too much.
"Or, like, a party or somethin'."
She smiles.
"Heh. Like that would ever happen...That sounds a lot of fuss for an ordinary girl like me."
"You're hardly an ordinary girl, Elli. "
We stare at one another for a moment in which no breath stirs the air.
And then the moment breaks, we breathe again, and she turns away.
"W-well, we don't have many carriages or dance clubs, here, either. So It's all rather silly to imagine...But...
Thank you, Fox. For the sentiment."
"Happy birthday, Elli."
I head on out towards the library, where...
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0061.jpg
I find Ann. Again? Is the girl stalking me?
No, wait, I arrived here second. Am I stalking her? I...Don't mean to?
Anyway, she and Maria with some watermelons (this sounds like some sort of joke set-up, but I don't know what...)
And...They're arguing?
I may need to step in, but...
I don't think Ann's yelling because she's bullying Maria, easy as it is...She's not that sort of a girl.
"Well, it seemed..."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0064.jpg
"These, since it's not really in-season, so..."
She trails off. I try and connect the dots...And it ends up covered in slimy Salesmen. Is that genetic?
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0067.jpg
Ann waves her arms, trying to keep her energy at this injustice inside. It doesn't work.
"You got..."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0068.jpg
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0070.jpg
...Remember, Kids: Just Say No to Watermelons.
Still...I'm glad Ann's at least trying, in a shout-y way, to look out for Maria.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0073.jpg
Poor Maria...I don't think she failed, but maybe I don't know...I think she wanted to help him, so I can't fault her there...
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0074.jpg
...Crying? Wow. Well, if it's that bad...
"Hey, girls."
Ann sees me and her face brightens up.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0077.jpg
"Hey, don't go playing Saleslady at me...That's pretty steep."
"Isn't a paltry 300 a cheap price to pay for a lady's happiness? What sort of gentleman are you?"
"H-he doesn't have you...You don't need to, Fox..."
I chuckle.
"I never said I wouldn't. Give me a melon; I'll eat it for lunch."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0079.jpg
I swallow it down. It's out of season, so it's a little bitter, but the two girls beam. Yeah, 300G is cheap to see them happy...
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0080.jpg
Wait. Where'd the extra 300 come from?
"What?"
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0082.jpg
"tonight. I'll see you later!"
"O-oh, alright..."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0084.jpg
"I guess one good deed can really spread around, huh?"
"Yes, it certainly can..."
She smiles and heads inside. I follow after her, in hopes of a napkin
"Do you make it a routine to take pity on travelling salesmen?"
"Someone has to."
"Yeah, I guess so."
She's lost in thought for a moment.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0085.jpg
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0086.jpg
"Then I guess I'm pretty flattered." I smile. "Honored, maybe even."
I mock-bow. She giggles.
"I am serious, though...I'm glad I could be someone to share your worries with."
"I'm glad, too. I'm glad I know you, Fox."
Then something that was niggling in the back of my head surfaces.
"AW SHOOT, MAN, I FORGOT TO GET SEEDS!"
And I dart away.
"I wonder if I can fit that in a story somewhere..."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0088.jpg
The shop's pretty bare this time of year. Guess I only have one choice.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0089.jpg
"Fall crop."
I noticed.
"One pack costs 300G."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0092.jpg
I guess I'll grow a lot...But probably, I'll plant them 2 at a time over a few days, to keep the harvests from overwhelming me.
"Thank you very much! We'll send..."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0093.jpg
"OK."
And at the ranch I find...
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0095.jpg
Ann again! Is she...Is she just everywhere? Am I going crazy? Am I in love with her?
...Wait.
Where did that last one come from?
Oh, wait. She lives here. It's not weird I found her here at all.
And Popuri, too... If I don't say anything, maybe I can overhear...
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0096.jpg
Popuri giggles innocently.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0098.jpg
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0100.jpg
I guess she was telling Popuri about this morning...Wait, does that mean she told her about me?
What...What did she say about me, anyway?
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0102.jpg
Popuri flushes a little...Maybe the Grey she's picturing isn't teasing and/or shotgun Grey...But the guy buys flower seeds and can barely work up the nerve to nod...
Those are all faces of Grey, true as each other, I guess...Ann's got a lot of faces, too.
...I've been seeing them all day. Her happiness, her frustration, her tenderness, her tears...She's really...
I-I'm not going to say what I just thought. I need my life less complicated, not more, OK?
As long as I don't say it, it's not true, alright?!
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0103.jpg
"Were my brother..."
"Why would us being sisters be complicated?"
"It's that you two would be siblings. I don't mind the idea of you as a sister...But not like that."
"Huh? What?"
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0107.jpg
...Is someone a shipper on deck? That's adorable.
AH, GODDESS, I SAID IT!
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0110.jpg
And Popuri and Ann part.
As I head towards the green area...I turn back. I don't know what I'd say, anyway...
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0115.jpg
When I notice Cliff and a horse. That's...That's Cliffgard, isn't it? The one I saw on my first day?
The one that hates people?
...Still, it looks like he's petting him just fine...
Ann comes dashing up, waving at him.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0117.jpg
Cliff blinks. Cliff also blinks.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0119.jpg
"Maybe that's why we seem to be kindred spirits."
What, is there some sort of international Cliff conspiracy?
For some reason, this gets Ann's goat hard.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0122.jpg
"Handsome than you. Come on, Cliff."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0124.jpg
And she and the horse walk off.
I come up to Cliff (the man, not the horse), and watch them go.
"...That...Was a thing."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0125.jpg
"All serious...I have no idea what she's thinking."
Thinking about the Ann who bought that watermelon, or tended that bird, and the Ann who does all that yelling...It's hard to do. She seems to just get worked up at something in her head.
...She's not a mean person, so...?
"...Who can say? She gets worked up so easily...But I think it's just the passion she has."
"...Hopefully. Man, I just don't understand women..."
I nod.
"I hear you."
"See you around, Fox."
Yeah, I think I'm just going to my nice, peaceful farm.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0129.jpg
I go out to sow my seeds...
Completely forgetting my plans. I guess I just won't water all of them today, and the difference will....even up eventually, right?
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0130.jpg
I'm snapped out of that realization by a voice. For a minute, I almost think it's Ann...She's everywhere I go today, after all.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0131.jpg
...It's Harris. That's a surprise.
"The craftsmen?"
"The carpenters who live in the mountains."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0133.jpg
"...These are the safe to eat mushrooms, right?"
"Oh, I'm sure they're fine."
That...Is less assuring than I would hope.
"I had some; they're very good."
...Do I trust Harris enough to eat strange mushrooms?
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0134.jpg
Yeah, I guess I do. He's a swell guy...And the mushroom's pretty tasty, too.*
* Kids, don't try this at home - The Management
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0135.jpg
"Thanks, man."
It does warm my heart to get something in return...I guess I'll finish working with a whistle.
The rest of the afternoon is spent fetching chickens. As I grab them, I try and lure the Lambo and Clarabelle closer to the barn with my bell.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0136.jpg
The result is chaos.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0138.jpg
Once they're in, I feed everyone, since I think they eat at night...I'll need more chicken feed tommorow.
Fall - 2 - XXX1
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0139.jpg
More rain tommorow. Joy.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0141.jpg
Oh, Kent's outside.
"Kent, what are you doing out here? You must be soaking wet."
"I came to tell you!"
"Tell me what?"
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0143.jpg
"There's a cow festival?"
"I knew no one told you!"
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0145.jpg
"That Clara'd win for sure!"
...Aww, thanks. I'm dubious...But she is doing great. Maybe I should.
"I'll keep it in mind. Thanks for the head's up, Kent."
He beams.
"Now go get out of this rain."
"Alright..."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0147.jpg
I go in to take care of the animals, since I don't have to water my crops...
And I need a proper milk jug for Clara's output today.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0148.jpg
Look at it! It just keeps getting bigger!
...I am sort of liking my chances.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0149.jpg
My chicken-feed supplies are now bare. I better fix that.
I also have mail.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0150.jpg
Moon Mountain!
- Popuri
Awww, how sweet. I'll be sure to look at it when the sky's clearer...
In the meanwhile, I have a day to get through.
I find Cliff in the mountain cave. I wonder...Can he see the Harvest Sprites? Is that a thing?
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0154.jpg
"Thanks. I will..."
Does he have weather-predicting magic?
Or access to a TV in the hills?
Am I devolving into senseless paranoia?
(Unknown, No, No, and Yes, I think.)
Anyway, next up, time to visit the flower shop...
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0155.jpg
"Oh, is it that thing that was going around a while back?"
"Yes, I think so. I doubt she's the only one laid up, either."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0157.jpg
"...Feel better after she sees your face."
"I can't resist a siren song like that."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0158.jpg
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0159.jpg
...It is...
Quite pink. Warm, too, since it has that nice fireplace...
"I came here to see you; how are you feeling?"
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0160.jpg
"Cold. Mama's so silly this time of year."
"What happens this time of year?"
"Dad goes abroad to explore and find new plants to bring home...Mama gets worried and sad in the fall."
"Makes sense. I actually wasn't sure what your dad got up to at first, either."
She pouts at this.
"It's not like that!...But...I bet it's lonely for Mama, not being able to see the person she loves most."
I nod, and look around the room a bit.
"What's this?" I look at a photo on her dresser.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0164.jpg
"Taken around 5 years ago. They haven't changed very much."
"Yeah, but it looks like you've grown up a lot."
"I wish they'd see that."
"What sort of flowers are these?"
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0169.jpg
"Made?"
"That's right. I hybridized the strain myself, and grew them from seed that way. It was a lot of work, and they won't last long...But it's a beautiful effort."
"Wow. That's...really impressive."
I didn't know she had it in her.
Let's see...
"And this?"
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0166.jpg
"That makes your wishes come true."
"Made any good wishes?"
"I can't tell you them, silly <3."
"Of course not...Not even a hint?"
"No! But..."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0162.jpg
"I'm glad I got to."
She smiles warmly, the blush on her cheeks striking against the paleness of her fever-ridden skin.
"I need to head out, though..."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0171.jpg
"No problem."
I hope she gets better soon; Popuri's just not Popuri unless she's bouncing about cheerfully.
Anyway, next up's the bakery where...
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0173.jpg
Yup. These things sure get around, don't they?
"Why don't you go visit her?"
"Sure. I bet it'll brighten her day."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0175.jpg
What a sensible-looking room...
"What's this? Are you hungover? Too much birthday partying?"
She laughs, which fades into a cough.
"No. Not at all!"
"Ah, then my dearest sympathies,"
I'm glad to see she's so perky...
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0176.jpg
"It's really just a little cold that goes around on rainy days..."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0177.jpg
"That's good. Nice digs you've got here."
"I like my room. I bet the farmhouse is pretty drafty, huh?"
"I haven't felt it yet...But I bet I'll be able to tell you by the time fall's done. Still, for all your worries about me, you're the one who got sick first...Maybe you need to take care of yourself."
"I will. I'm doing it now, anyway."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0183.jpg
"It's the best."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0184.jpg
Apparently they room together...It makes sense, since the bakery's a small place.
I wonder where Jeff lives...
I pace around a bit and poke the fire with a poker, followed by her eyes.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0185.jpg
"Maybe a bit..."
"Haven't you ever been in a lady's bedroom? I find it hard to believe you haven't..."
"Yeah, but usually, it's not when she's sick..."
"...You've...Never had a girlfriend, then?"
"I've had girlfriends."
I don't like what you're implying there, Elli!
"But not the sort of girlfriend you visit when she's sick and worn out, huh?" That's neither needling nor accusatory; she says it like she's not sure what to do with the answer.
"...No, not really. I'm not the sort of guy a girl should lean on when times get tough."
Elli looks at my face for a moment, evaluating it.
"Well, feel free to look around."
"Alright...At anything?"
She nods.
I find a small book on her desk. She blushes the moment my fingers brush the cover.
"Ok, not at that!"
"What?"
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0187.jpg
There's still a girl in this world old-fashioned enough to have a diary...Still, I think a collection of memories that you can touch and hug close to yourself at the end of a hard day, soaking the feelings of a you that used to exist in your skin...
It's an image that suits her.
I search out for something else to look at, or comment on...When I notice a photo on the dresser.
It's not a fancy photo -- it looks like it was just taken at a festival. There's a little brown-haired girl I think is Elli...
And two people I've never seen, holding her hands.
...No, I've seen them...But not since I came back here. It takes a moment to remember that I've seen them, it was so long ago...
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0186.jpg
"...You look happy."
Ugh. That is the lamest thing that I could have said. A smart man would back away...And a dumb one would apologize. And me?
I shake my head and smile, sadly.
"I don't think my dad and I were ever this happy."
"Even whn your mom was around?"
So she remembers why I came here initially, huh?
"...I dunno. I can't really remember us ever getting along...But Mom died when I was pretty young. I just don't remember a lot..."
"I have a lot of fond memories...It must be lonely for you, remembering just enough to miss someone...And not enough to really know them."
I shrug. It's not a noncommital shrug...It's a 'what do you do' shrug.
"Like I said. It was a long time ago -- it was lonely then, but...That was then. I think I ended up being lonelier with my dad than I ended up being without my mom."
"Maybe he was lonely, though. He lost something...precious to him."
"So?!" My voice is unexpectedly hurt. I take a breath to try and calm down. "He didn't have to force that on me, did he? To force his stupid life on mine. I don't care about his reasons. I was just a kid..."
"Fox...I'm sorry. I'm sorry things are that way...I guess I should try and remember more, how blessed we were...To be together happily for so long..."
As she says this, she looks like she's about to cry. I'm hoping it's just the cold, weakening her resistance to her feelings.
But all the same, I put my hand on her hand, even if she doesn't need it.
"Yeah, it sounds like they were great," I try and muster as much warmth in my voice as I can. "I think you probably miss your parents more than I miss my mom."
And then, suddenly, she laughs. It's a soft, sad little laugh, as she blinks the tears away.
"What?"
[color=sienna]"I don't think we need to try and pass around who's hurt more. It was the wrong thing for me to say...What I meant was...
She looks up at me.
"Even though they're gone...I'm not alone. I have Granny, and Jeff...And..." There's a weight to her gaze, and a warmth to her hand in my hand.
I try to pull back.
"Hey, I already said I wasn't the sort of guy a girl should lean on when time gets tough."
"I think you are. I think you're a lot of things you don't think you are." She says it so gravely it gives me pause.
And the two of us look at each other -- my breath catches in our throat. Because for a moment, I think I see in her eyes...Not the person I've always thought I was, but someone totally different. Someone gentle and thoughtful and kind, someone bold, maybe chasing something he shouldn't, but chasing it with a determined heart...Someone who's not giving up so easily, no matter how easily he's been saying he gives up. Someone reliable.
I hope to the Goddess, and to any other passing god or spirit that might care to hear, that she's seeing in my eyes the girl I've been seeing: the sweet, earnest, beautiful woman, who makes any room she steps in a home just by believing hard enough, her heart full of little surprising corners of passion. Someone far from ordinary.
In that gaze, we taste what the other one's been tasting. We see ourselves the way we never thought we were.
Until at last we remember to breathe, and the clock starts ticking, and the moment's gone.
"I-I gotta get going. Sorry for...Unloading all that."
I make for the door as fast as I can.
She nods.
"I'm going to get some sleep. Thank you, for coming today, and talking for a while..."
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0189.jpg
After that...Shaking experience...
I go buy some chicken feed.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0190.jpg
And, while I'm at it, some fodder. Just in case.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0191.jpg
Man...These things are expensive.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0192.jpg
"Well, I came here to talk to Ann."
He's not a monster. He's not a monster. He's a pretty chill dude...
If I say this enough, perhaps I will believe it when his eyes are on me.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0193.jpg
"Seriously?"
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0195.jpg
"...Well, I'm glad you think so."
...Whatever he thinks I can do, anyway.
Ann and I talk in the barn -- nothing special, just about the sound of rain...Still, it makes the day -- and my mood from before -- seem brighter. People like Ann can really light up a room, you know?
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0196.jpg
I spend the rest of the afternoon and evening, after feeding the chickens, fishing.
http://i810.photobucket.com/albums/z...4Usnap0198.jpg
Results are limited before I need to go to bed.