-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Serpentine
What're your shaving practices? Possible factors include but are not limited to:
- Water temperature. Hotter is better.
I tried to make the water pretty hot. I'm guessing having to go over my legs with a buzzer first didn't help matters at all.
Quote:
- Razor sharpness and quality. The more times you have to go over your skin to cut the hair, the more irritating it will be.
Not very sharp, so I'll keep that in mind. Does it matter what kind of razor I use?
Quote:
- The shaving... lubricant? you use. Soap works, but I find it makes me try. You can get moisturised and sensitive skin gel, which you might like to experiment with. I've also, oddly enough, had success using hair conditioner for it.
I didn't really use anything, because I didn't have anything that seemed like it would function well on hand. This probably contributed to my problem quite a bit.
Quote:
- Treatment afterwards. I've found I get dry skin after shaving unless I moisturise. Do you do anything like that?
I used a decent amount of lotion afterwards.
Quote:
- Any other chemicals involved. Could be the strips or cakes attached to the razor, your lubricant, your soap, anything else you put on it... Is there much stuff that comes into contact with your legs?
Not really. Wasn't sure what to use in terms of lubricant, and pretty much only used a razor and buzzer. I also used Lotion afterwards because it seemed like a good idea.
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
So, it's national coming out day. And I was going to come out to my school's GSA yesterday, but... we were talking about our coming out stories ( I haven't yet) and every time I opened my mouth to begin my story, other people had already begun talking. I think I'm too shy for my own good...
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mystic Muse
Not very sharp, so I'll keep that in mind. Does it matter what kind of razor I use?
I don't know, honestly. I've heard that men can tell when someone's used their razor to shave their legs because it's immediately blunter, but I don't know whether that means much. I'm inclined to recommend the best razor you can afford, but that may just be the marketing industry getting to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mystic Muse
I didn't really use anything, because I didn't have anything that seemed like it would function well on hand. This probably contributed to my problem quite a bit.
ACK! :eek: Criiiiiiinge :smallyuk:
Yeah, I think that could be your problem right there. You really, really need something. Some razors come with it in-built, but at the very least use some soap!
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Serpentine
ACK! :eek: Criiiiiiinge :smallyuk:
Yeah, I think that could be your problem right there. You really, really need something. Some razors come with it in-built, but at the very least use some soap!
Alright. Anything I can do to hopefully speed up recovery on the legs?
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
I'm not really up on skincare, I'm afraid. Keep lathering on the moisturiser and stuff, I suppose.
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Leona
So, it's national coming out day. And I was going to come out to my school's GSA yesterday, but... we were talking about our coming out stories ( I haven't yet) and every time I opened my mouth to begin my story, other people had already begun talking. I think I'm too shy for my own good...
Well, there's always today! Go get 'em! You can do it! No time like the present! *insert whatever pithy motivational phrase you would find most effective*! :smallbiggrin:
On that note, I never changed my "interested in" on Facebook after coming out to my friends. I might take the opportunity to do that today given the special occasion, but then again I really don't want to deal with the ensuing ****storm from the extended family right now. Hmm. Will have to think on that a bit more.
--------------------
Update on yesterday's situation:
My manager filed his complaint about the nurse, hasn't heard anything back yet. Probably won't for a bit, if at all.
Lunch was...unpleasant, but not as bad as I expected. Most of the people who'd said stuff in the past apologized and said they didn't mean it and wouldn't have said anything if they'd known there was "a gay" in the room, which was a pleasant surprise--I didn't bother to point out that they shouldn't have said any of that anyway because, y'know, common decency...but hey, baby steps. There were, however, two of them (the girl I mentioned before and one other) who decided to turn it into a religious/moral debate, and we had a small audience as I basically played Whack-a-Mole with their arguments for an hour or so.
I've had plenty of practice with that sort of debate (:smallannoyed:) and it seemed like they didn't, so it went well. Having most of the people around be on my side for once was a very nice change of pace (yay California!), and while I doubt I changed their minds at all we're at least back on exchanging-idle-chitchat terms again. So, yay, crisis mostly averted unless the re-org that's going on gets one of them shuffled onto my team or vice versa, but that's down the line and not something to worry about right now.
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Serpentine
I don't know, honestly. I've heard that men can tell when someone's used their razor to shave their legs because it's immediately blunter, but I don't know whether that means much. I'm inclined to recommend the best razor you can afford, but that may just be the marketing industry getting to me.
I can never tell if someone's used my razor on their legs. /shrugs And I've had both my sister and my current boyfriend use it for that purpose and had no clue till they told me. :smalltongue:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Serpentine
ACK! :eek: Criiiiiiinge :smallyuk:
Yeah, I think that could be your problem right there. You really, really need something. Some razors come with it in-built, but at the very least use some soap!
I used to use proper 'shaving soap' but now I just use regular soap. Just need to make sure I moisturise afterwards otherwise it's really dry. I've tried using shaving foam but it just tends to feel weird on my skin so I don't use it.
On shaving legs: Used to do it, shaving foam is better for it, but soap works generally too.
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SiuiS
Jeez Asta, that's terrifying.
Is it... safe?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Absol197
I don't have time to quote everybody who supported me and gave me motivational hugs, but thank you. To everyone.
I'll post up the play-by-play tomorrow, but suffice it to say, it went very well :smallsmile: . We have some difficult things to talk about, my parents and I, but now we're all on the same page, which is nice.
:smallsigh: Okay! Long day, I'mma go sleep now. Good night, y'all!
~Phoenix~
Things are rarely as horrible as we think. Except when they are. It's good to hear that things went well. Sweet dreams.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mynxae
Thanks to everyone. xD And AK, no using tools that may or may not be deadly on my boyfie! :smalltongue:
I'm just asking if it's safe. :nale:
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Serpentine
The default response to "women get paid less or are less likely to get hired because they take time off for kids" is almost always "that is a good reason for women to get paid less or to not hire a woman". My response is "well men should get time off for kids too".
Sorry for my late reaction, had little internet for some time... I'm not saying it's a good reason, but I am saying that, because of biological reasons, it happens that women take more time off then men. All I'm saying is that it could be the main reason and quite explainable.
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mystic Muse
...SiuiS, your avatar fills me with all sorts of questions. :smallconfused:
Oh? Such as~?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mynxae
It's a changeling from MLP: FiM. :smalltongue: Technically, so was the last one.
This is true XD
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mystic Muse
It's a changeling who looks like Rarity. I don't recall what the last one looked like.
Mi Amore Cadenza's evil twin's glowing green eyes in the dark.
Quote:
The questions that come to mind are
-Is this an alternate universe Rarity?
-Is this a changeling doing a bad imitation of Rarity?
-Did Chrysalis take over the world and turn everypony else into Changelings?
Those are less fun than I thought :smallfrown: :smalltongue:
I believe it is the last one; someone did all the mane 6 as changelings based on their dominant coat color. I'm not sure if it's a "changelings win" story or not. They are in thread though. I'll find the link.
Quote:
On a more relevant topic, my legs are so friggin' irritated after I've shaved them. This is very not pleasant. I'm not really sure what to do at this point.
The soap you see Barbers lather and leave on the face soaks into the hair and softens it, makes it easier to cut while also helpin the blade drag vet your skin without issue. All razors are mechanically identical (blades at an angle) and usually the same blade as well. The differences are in blade count, pivot strength if there is one, and whether they have a moisturizing strip.
At the very least, buy a dollar bar of dove soap, and slick up your legs. As for how to tend it now, well... Go easy on the skin, drink plenty of fluids and be sure to shave again soon, so the skin doesn't get the same level of stress.
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
That's good Dice. At least they were willing to apologize to you.
It's a start right?
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Socratov
Sorry for my late reaction, had little internet for some time... I'm not saying it's a good reason, but I am saying that, because of biological reasons, it happens that women take more time off then men. All I'm saying is that it could be the main reason and quite explainable.
As I said, if that's true, then I think the correct response is to give men more time off to match it, not declare it acceptable. There are a number of countries where this is already available, so it's not as though it's impossible, and it's not exactly fair to the men, even, that women get all the time with their children.
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Catching up on other posts as well...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Serpentine
I don't know, honestly. I've heard that men can tell when someone's used their razor to shave their legs because it's immediately blunter, but I don't know whether that means much. I'm inclined to recommend the best razor you can afford, but that may just be the marketing industry getting to me.
ACK! :eek: Criiiiiiinge :smallyuk:
Yeah, I think that could be your problem right there. You really, really need something. Some razors come with it in-built, but at the very least use some soap!
WEll it's not so much as "This razor has been used to shave [insert bodypart], it's more like someone besides me has used this raozr and now it shaves... different... (partially becuase every time shaving you blunt a part of the blades and shaving different parts blunts different areas on the blades). I can heavily recommend shaving soap/cream for a smoother process and less shaving wounds.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SiuiS
snip
The soap you see Barbers lather and leave on the face soaks into the hair and softens it, makes it easier to cut while also helpin the blade drag vet your skin without issue. All razors are mechanically identical (blades at an angle) and usually the same blade as well. The differences are in blade count, pivot strength if there is one, and whether they have a moisturizing strip.
At the very least, buy a dollar bar of dove soap, and slick up your legs. As for how to tend it now, well... Go easy on the skin, drink plenty of fluids and be sure to shave again soon, so the skin doesn't get the same level of stress.
That's one excellent suggestion, I'd only like to add that using a warm soaked towel on the shaving are beforehand not only feels awesome, but yields the best results when it comes to shaving. This opens up the poresin the skin as well as make the hairs more flexible, done right the area will be smooth like a baby's buttoks :smallamused:
Antoher thing to do is to cool the skin after shaving with either a freezing cold wet tower, by rinsing in cold water (colder = better, it will close the wounds and ease the skin). For maximum results treat your skin with one of those eucalyptus based aftershaves. If you smear that on you'll have the idea you're oozing freshness :smallwink:
I advise against alcohol btw...
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PairO'Dice Lost
Well, there's always today! Go get 'em! You can do it! No time like the present! *insert whatever pithy motivational phrase you would find most effective*! :smallbiggrin:
On that note, I never changed my "interested in" on Facebook after coming out to my friends. I might take the opportunity to do that today given the special occasion, but then again I really don't want to deal with the ensuing ****storm from the extended family right now. Hmm. Will have to think on that a bit more.
--------------------
Update on yesterday's situation:
My manager filed his complaint about the nurse, hasn't heard anything back yet. Probably won't for a bit, if at all.
Lunch was...unpleasant, but not as bad as I expected. Most of the people who'd said stuff in the past apologized and said they didn't mean it and wouldn't have said anything if they'd known there was "a gay" in the room, which was a pleasant surprise--I didn't bother to point out that they shouldn't have said any of that anyway because, y'know, common decency...but hey, baby steps. There were, however, two of them (the girl I mentioned before and one other) who decided to turn it into a religious/moral debate, and we had a small audience as I basically played Whack-a-Mole with their arguments for an hour or so.
I've had plenty of practice with that sort of debate (:smallannoyed:) and it seemed like they didn't, so it went well. Having most of the people around be on my side for once was a very nice change of pace (yay California!), and while I doubt I changed their minds at all we're at least back on exchanging-idle-chitchat terms again. So, yay, crisis mostly averted unless the re-org that's going on gets one of them shuffled onto my team or vice versa, but that's down the line and not something to worry about right now.
Go you! :smallbiggrin:
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Okay, I'm actually back now! :smallsmile:
So here's how things went yesterday, for those of you who are interested:
Spoiler
Show
The drive up went pretty well. We steered the conversation away from what was going to happen, so we didn't get that awkward pre-meeting stuff (I'm not sure what that would be like, but I'm sure it exists :smalltongue: ). We did talk about politics, because that's one of my mom's favorite topics, and it's relevent in the States, with our election coming up.
We got to Boulder much earlier than we needed to, so I directed us to a little local coffee shop that I like.
Then, the actual meeting. At first, it looked like I was going to mess up. I was so scared and nervous. It took probably five minutes of me staring at the letter I had written, looking like an idiot, before I realized that that wasn't how I wanted to remember that moment, and that I wanted to say it myself. I blocked out as much as I could of my surroundings, and barreled through my letter (slowlyy enough to be understood, of course).
At first, at least with my mom, it looked like it was going to be a disaster. She kept saying that she could handle gay, but not this. :smallfrown: My therapist really helped out, though, and I was able to get my brain back in gear and give some explainations.
My mom was really quiet during the car ride home, but by the end, she had calmed down, and explained that what she was most worried about was my job, and my being safe in a world that is, frankly, still a very scary place.
She still doesn't quite understand everything (when she asked about why I had been down on Sunday, and I explained it was about all the people I interact with not seeing me the way I want to be seen, she asked, "Why does that matter?"), but she at least seems like she's accepted it. She was happy last night, at least :smallsmile: .
We'll see how it goes, but I have hope!
Also, I got to leave my door open for the first time in a while last night, so I got a visit from the black kitty fairy! :smallbiggrin: He hogs the bed something fierce, but I don't really mind.
~Phoenix~
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
You have to remember it's something of the shock to find out that you've been wrong about your child's gender all along... what did your dad say?
And cats are awesome. Especially black cats. Although mine's getting gray.
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
That's great news, Phoenix :smallbiggrin:
So happy to hear that while, yes, it will be difficult your mum is at least trying to understand and she's thinking about you in a positive (protective) way :smallsmile:
-
I've been getting hella crazy razorburn on the backs of my thighs. I'm figuring because it's an area that doesn't really get much rough treatment so is more sensitive.
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Razorburn is one of the main reasons why I epilate, rather than shaving. Sure, it hurts more while doing it, and it takes ages, but it lasts an awful lot longer and there's less irritation afterwards.
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
That's wonderful, Phoenix. I also am curious as to what your dad said.
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Absol197
Okay, I'm actually back now! :smallsmile:
So here's how things went yesterday, for those of you who are interested:
Spoiler
Show
The drive up went pretty well. We steered the conversation away from what was going to happen, so we didn't get that awkward pre-meeting stuff (I'm not sure what that would be like, but I'm sure it exists :smalltongue: ). We did talk about politics, because that's one of my mom's favorite topics, and it's relevent in the States, with our election coming up.
We got to Boulder much earlier than we needed to, so I directed us to a little local coffee shop that I like.
Then, the actual meeting. At first, it looked like I was going to mess up. I was so scared and nervous. It took probably five minutes of me staring at the letter I had written, looking like an idiot, before I realized that that wasn't how I wanted to remember that moment, and that I wanted to say it myself. I blocked out as much as I could of my surroundings, and barreled through my letter (slowlyy enough to be understood, of course).
At first, at least with my mom, it looked like it was going to be a disaster. She kept saying that she could handle gay, but not this. :smallfrown: My therapist really helped out, though, and I was able to get my brain back in gear and give some explainations.
My mom was really quiet during the car ride home, but by the end, she had calmed down, and explained that what she was most worried about was my job, and my being safe in a world that is, frankly, still a very scary place.
She still doesn't quite understand everything (when she asked about why I had been down on Sunday, and I explained it was about all the people I interact with not seeing me the way I want to be seen, she asked, "Why does that matter?"), but she at least seems like she's accepted it. She was happy last night, at least :smallsmile: .
We'll see how it goes, but I have hope!
Also, I got to leave my door open for the first time in a while last night, so I got a visit from the black kitty fairy! :smallbiggrin: He hogs the bed something fierce, but I don't really mind.
~Phoenix~
Fan~Tastic! That sounds about perfect. If you think about it, this is probably the best way someone could handle news which literally shatters their worldview. I'm glad it went so smooth. :smallsmile:
Also! Kitty fair is best fairy (with apologies to Kenderfairies the world over; it was a close election! But the teacup crawled in my lap and purred :3)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zorg
I've been getting hella crazy razorburn on the backs of my thighs. I'm figuring because it's an area that doesn't really get much rough treatment so is more sensitive.
It may be because the mechanics of getting your arms and legs into position is throwing off the angle of the razor. Do you have a swivel-head on it?
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Congratulations, Phoenix! :smallbiggrin:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
supernerd
*adorable choir story*
Good for you for speaking up!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mynxae
Thanks to everyone. xD And AK, no using tools that may or may not be deadly on my boyfie! :smalltongue:
And to clarify for KenderWizard (and probably everyone else /shrugs), 'bfm' means Blake for Max. (our names) :smalltongue: Boyfriend of Mynxae does fit quite well though I might add.. :smallsmile:
Oh, cuteness! :smallbiggrin:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Heliomance
I just had a fantastic night out to the local gay club with LGBTsoc. Great fun. Got clocked a couple of times, sadly, but gay club, so no-one gave a damn. I actually got asked by one guy how long I'd been on hormones! Proper pronouns used all round, a really friendly atmosphere, a bit of judicious flirting, and a respectable quantity of alcohol all combined to make a really good time ^_^
Made a few new friends, too, though sadly nothing more :P
Further awesomeness! Apparently yesterday was a good day for the Rainbows!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Leona
So, it's national coming out day. And I was going to come out to my school's GSA yesterday, but... we were talking about our coming out stories ( I haven't yet) and every time I opened my mouth to begin my story, other people had already begun talking. I think I'm too shy for my own good...
I hate when that happens!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mystic Muse
Alright. Anything I can do to hopefully speed up recovery on the legs?
Coconut oil. Soothes any kind of skin irritation. I use it on lips, post-welt insect bite rashes (I have allergic reactions to mosquitoes), and eczema rashes. It's a mild anti-inflammatory and a mild anti-septic, and it's also a nice moisturising oil, and it's really a food, so there's nothing in there that's bad for your body.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PairO'Dice Lost
Update on yesterday's situation:
Good on you! I hope things continue to improve.
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Asta Kask
You have to remember it's something of the shock to find out that you've been wrong about your child's gender all along... what did your dad say?
And cats are awesome. Especially black cats. Although mine's getting gray.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zorg
That's great news, Phoenix :smallbiggrin:
So happy to hear that while, yes, it will be difficult your mum is at least trying to understand and she's thinking about you in a positive (protective) way :smallsmile:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lentrax
That's wonderful, Phoenix. I also am curious as to what your dad said.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SiuiS
Fan~Tastic! That sounds about perfect. If you think about it, this is probably the best way someone could handle news which literally shatters their worldview. I'm glad it went so smooth. :smallsmile:
Also! Kitty fair is best fairy (with apologies to Kenderfairies the world over; it was a close election! But the teacup crawled in my lap and purred :3
EDIT:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KenderWizard
Congratulations, Phoenix! :smallbiggrin:
Thanks for everything, guys! You're all awesome! :smallbiggrin:
My dad (step-dad, technically; I'll have to do the real dad/step-mom around Christmas :smalleek: ) was a bit more level-headed, as is typical for him. He definitely seemed worried (his company, JP Morgan chase, where he's a regional big-wig, helped sponser a local pride parade about three months or so ago, and he remembered that the statistics involving trans people were much more troubling than those for gay/lesbian people), and that was the big thing with him.
All in all, I think the future is looking brighter! :smallsmile:
Zorg, weren't you going to come out to your dad sometime soon? I hope that goes well, it sounds like it will be difficult to begin with...
~Phoenix~
I keep forgetting to do the signature thing, so I have to go back and edit it in...>_< I'm just not used to doing it yet!
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mystic Muse
On a more relevant topic, my legs are so friggin' irritated after I've shaved them. This is very not pleasant. I'm not really sure what to do at this point.
Serps has commented on this, but I'll throw in my two coppers anyway.
Try some sort of shaving cream/gel/soap/lubricant. Definitely important. Make sure you shave with the grain, also important, and if necessary, perpendicular to it, but save a pass antiparallel until there's no other choice. Soak in hot hot water first, which I think you got. Depending on the quality of your razors and the thickness of your hair, you might want to use a new disposable razor every time. I know if I shaved my legs it would basically kill a disposable razor like the ones my mum uses. Not sure about after-shaving treatment, but I usually put a cool cloth over my throat after I finish to soothe it a little, because shaving there is a pain because the hair just sticks in all different directions.
You could also try an epilator, though you should balance immediate discomfort (the epilator smarts) with tomorrow's discomfort. I don't know which is more likely to cause ingrown hairs, but I'd guess a razor, especially shaving against the grain.
On a slightly related note, ingrown hairs are a *****, especially depending on where they happen. But let's not go into that, it's private.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Leona
So, it's national coming out day. And I was going to come out to my school's GSA yesterday, but... we were talking about our coming out stories ( I haven't yet) and every time I opened my mouth to begin my story, other people had already begun talking. I think I'm too shy for my own good...
Oh hey, so it is. Pity I don't know people. Best advice: Just go for it. If you start talking just as somebody else does, one of you will back down, and if you don't end up going first, there's a fair chance they'll defer to you next because you'd already started.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PairO'Dice Lost
Update on yesterday's situation:
My manager filed his complaint about the nurse, hasn't heard anything back yet. Probably won't for a bit, if at all.
Lunch was...unpleasant, but not as bad as I expected. Most of the people who'd said stuff in the past apologized and said they didn't mean it and wouldn't have said anything if they'd known there was "a gay" in the room, which was a pleasant surprise--I didn't bother to point out that they shouldn't have said any of that anyway because, y'know, common decency...but hey, baby steps. There were, however, two of them (the girl I mentioned before and one other) who decided to turn it into a religious/moral debate, and we had a small audience as I basically played Whack-a-Mole with their arguments for an hour or so.
I've had plenty of practice with that sort of debate (:smallannoyed:) and it seemed like they didn't, so it went well. Having most of the people around be on my side for once was a very nice change of pace (yay California!), and while I doubt I changed their minds at all we're at least back on exchanging-idle-chitchat terms again. So, yay, crisis mostly averted unless the re-org that's going on gets one of them shuffled onto my team or vice versa, but that's down the line and not something to worry about right now.
Well, that didn't turn out too bad. Best of luck.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Serpentine
As I said, if that's true, then I think the correct response is to give men more time off to match it, not declare it acceptable. There are a number of countries where this is already available, so it's not as though it's impossible, and it's not exactly fair to the men, even, that women get all the time with their children.
But obviously taking care of children is women's work. Duh. Men are emotionless money-makers, not parents.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Absol197
Okay, I'm actually back now! :smallsmile:
So here's how things went yesterday, for those of you who are interested:
Spoiler
Show
The drive up went pretty well. We steered the conversation away from what was going to happen, so we didn't get that awkward pre-meeting stuff (I'm not sure what that would be like, but I'm sure it exists :smalltongue: ). We did talk about politics, because that's one of my mom's favorite topics, and it's relevent in the States, with our election coming up.
We got to Boulder much earlier than we needed to, so I directed us to a little local coffee shop that I like.
Then, the actual meeting. At first, it looked like I was going to mess up. I was so scared and nervous. It took probably five minutes of me staring at the letter I had written, looking like an idiot, before I realized that that wasn't how I wanted to remember that moment, and that I wanted to say it myself. I blocked out as much as I could of my surroundings, and barreled through my letter (slowlyy enough to be understood, of course).
At first, at least with my mom, it looked like it was going to be a disaster. She kept saying that she could handle gay, but not this. :smallfrown: My therapist really helped out, though, and I was able to get my brain back in gear and give some explainations.
My mom was really quiet during the car ride home, but by the end, she had calmed down, and explained that what she was most worried about was my job, and my being safe in a world that is, frankly, still a very scary place.
She still doesn't quite understand everything (when she asked about why I had been down on Sunday, and I explained it was about all the people I interact with not seeing me the way I want to be seen, she asked, "Why does that matter?"), but she at least seems like she's accepted it. She was happy last night, at least :smallsmile: .
We'll see how it goes, but I have hope!
Also, I got to leave my door open for the first time in a while last night, so I got a visit from the black kitty fairy! :smallbiggrin: He hogs the bed something fierce, but I don't really mind.
~Phoenix~
Sounds pretty good. Congrats on coming out. Best of luck with their adjustment.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Asta Kask
You have to remember it's something of the shock to find out that you've been wrong about your child's gender all along... what did your dad say?
And cats are awesome. Especially black cats. Although mine's getting gray.
Yeah, especially if they don't understand transsexuality and whatnot. People are uncomfortable with new things and with things they don't understand.
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
If I had a kid and ze came out as transgender, I'd be worried sick. Depression rates, suicide rates, exposure to violence and threats are all through the roof compared to the cisgender populations... I'd support hir, but I wouldn't be exactly calm about it. There is very real cause for worry.
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by Siuis
It may be because the mechanics of getting your arms and legs into position is throwing off the angle of the razor. Do you have a swivel-head on it?
I do have a swivel head but it's still a possibility. Food for thought certainly and something to be careful of. I'm shaving instead of epilating so I can use a "laser beam" to turn my legs "silky smooth".
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Absol197
Zorg, weren't you going to come out to your dad sometime soon? I hope that goes well, it sounds like it will be difficult to begin with...
Firstly, glad your Dad is grounded. Yeah, still need to do that in the near future. Difficulty is getting time to go see him interstate that coincides with my work (just had two managers resign and a third might also be walking!) and his medication schedule (he has two weeks of happy pills and two weeks of crazy pills).
Blarg, all this complicated scheduling makes my head hurt sometimes.
And since you've been a good girl :smallwink:
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Absol197
EDIT:
Thanks for everything, guys! You're all awesome! :smallbiggrin:
My dad (step-dad, technically; I'll have to do the real dad/step-mom around Christmas :smalleek: ) was a bit more level-headed, as is typical for him. He definitely seemed worried (his company, JP Morgan chase, where he's a regional big-wig, helped sponser a local pride parade about three months or so ago, and he remembered that the statistics involving trans people were much more troubling than those for gay/lesbian people), and that was the big thing with him.
All in all, I think the future is looking brighter! :smallsmile:
Zorg, weren't you going to come out to your dad sometime soon? I hope that goes well, it sounds like it will be difficult to begin with...
~Phoenix~
I keep forgetting to do the signature thing, so I have to go back and edit it in...>_< I'm just not used to doing it yet!
Sounds like things went about as well as they could possibly go. I hope you and your parents can get through talking about what you need to. Sorry I'm late in offering you congratulations. Seems like you did a great job, I think my throat might have just seized up if I had been in your place.
Oh and that happens to me with the name thing all the time
~Laura
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KenderWizard
... pregnancy (which almost exclusively happens to women)...
I agree with basically everything you said but that little bit of inclusiveness made me really happy. :smallsmile:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Heliomance
I just had a fantastic night out to the local gay club with LGBTsoc. Great fun. Got clocked a couple of times, sadly, but gay club, so no-one gave a damn. I actually got asked by one guy how long I'd been on hormones! Proper pronouns used all round, a really friendly atmosphere, a bit of judicious flirting, and a respectable quantity of alcohol all combined to make a really good time ^_^
Made a few new friends, too, though sadly nothing more :P
Neat; glad you had a great time! :smallsmile:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PairO'Dice Lost
*snip*
Ugh, still really frustrating that the whole debate had to take place; but I'm glad there's been a decent amount of damage control at least.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Absol197
*snip*
I'm really really glad it went well, Phoenix. Also congratulations at making such a big step. :smallsmile:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Asta Kask
If I had a kid and ze came out as transgender, I'd be worried sick. Depression rates, suicide rates, exposure to violence and threats are all through the roof compared to the cisgender populations... I'd support hir, but I wouldn't be exactly calm about it. There is very real cause for worry.
I think one thing to watch out for if your child comes out to you as trans is to not put that first. Like, your child is probably well aware of that too and I think it's important that they get acceptance first especially for something as stressy as this and that the concerns are saved for later.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zorg
*snip*
Those are awesome. :smallbiggrin:
-----
I also have pictures, sorta. My therapist (not psychiatrist) appointment went really well yesterday and he congratulated me on my progress and I also went in a lot more femme-y than usually and I just felt really happy about it in general so I rewarded myself with some nail polish:
Also does anyone here follow Rain; cause the last update: :smalleek:
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Wow so much to read through!! :smallbiggrin: Least it keeps work from getting boring.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
bfm1991
Here I am. How are you meant to see if i am worthy of the almighty Mynxae. LOL
A Challenger Appears........:smallamused:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
noparlpf
What would a dream that one's ex came out as gay mean?
Probably that the taco you ate for dinner isn't sitting well with you.....:smallsmile:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mystic Muse
...SiuiS, your avatar fills me with all sorts of questions. :smallconfused:
......as well as other emotions that are deeply confusing.....:smallwink:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Absol197
A wonderful Story
~Phoenix~
That is amazing and I can't say how happy I am to hear that it all went well. Every time love is shared it fills my heart with hope that maybe...... possibly, this world is getting better, rather than getting worse. Baby Steps.......
~Matthew~
Because I want a cool signature too!!!!:smallredface:
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
If only there was some automatic function you could set to post the same text beneath your posts every time... a signature if you will :smallwink:
@ Astrella - that's a really nice colour :smallsmile:
-
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Astrella
I think one thing to watch out for if your child comes out to you as trans is to not put that first. Like, your child is probably well aware of that too and I think it's important that they get acceptance first especially for something as stressy as this and that the concerns are saved for later.
Yes, and apart from acknowledging the new gender, I would try to keep everything as near business as usual as possible. And obviously, if someone messes with my kid they mess with me.
But I'd still worry.