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Re: LGBT people in the playground
I Figure I should probably post here.
I'm bi-sexual. Now, I know I don't have a big story, or anything like that. I live in a pretty tolerant area, and I've never had deal with it. Infact, it's not even my sexuality that I get discriminated the most because of. But hey, it's not a big deal.
The only thing is, I'm not officially "out of the closet" persay, because no one that I know, outside the internet, knows about it. I'm not trying to hide it, it's just never really came up in conversation (like I said, I'm in an area where all that just isn't important). The people who do know, they keep telling me that I should 'come out', but I really don't see the point in shouting out "Hey look at me, my sexual preferences differ from the norm!" unless anyone really asks.
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
Flame Master Axel:
If you're in my base, and then declare it's tolerant... I guess that's true.. but, wait.. HEY!
><
Khantalas: We secretly all want you back here. Again. We miss you. And I know you're reading.
For those who want to "convert": Quit trying. On both sides. People are who they are. (I don't see this in here, but, it's in rubakhin's and just something I wanted to agree with/take further).
For everyone else: I offer free hugs - as well as support anyone adding me to messengers. For hugs there too.
I really like hugs...
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
Bluelantern: sorry, i misunderstood you. I do know what you mean, as one of my friends is worried about hate crimes, which pisses me off because he's a really sweet guy.
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SweetRein
Flame Master Axel:
If you're in my base, and then declare it's tolerant... I guess that's true.. but, wait.. HEY!
><
Khantalas: We secretly all want you back here. Again. We miss you. And I know you're reading.
For those who want to "convert": Quit trying. On both sides. People are who they are. (I don't see this in here, but, it's in rubakhin's and just something I wanted to agree with/take further).
For everyone else: I offer free hugs - as well as support anyone adding me to messengers. For hugs there too.
I really like hugs...
*nods his agreement with everything, then smothers with hugs*
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Terumitsu
-snip-I actualy am going to take a second and say thank you for helping me get this far, what with me getting to know myself better and thus now posting my personal bits here.
-snip-
To make a long story short, my self repression was the thing that gave rise to a highly active fantasy life, one that I am actualy greatful for as it now is my current crutch versus a bit of crap right now.. but that is for the next post.. anyway, I met Queen through an RP site (ironic really) and after talking and generaly a good amount of time (about six or so months) I loosened up... I attribute this a little to my fantasies being where I was mostly loose and allowed me to let my muses play as they wished. The rest is due to the fact that she is just the sort of person that you either love or don't.. I say she is still an amazing person even now that we have moved on.
-snip-
I'm glad I was useful for something. I'm glad you got something out of our relationship.
I'm so happy I could help you come to terms with your sexuality and that you listened to me when I told you it wasn't something to be ashamed of.
<3
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
By the way, for those people here with struggles of a nature personal enough (or board un-friendly enough) that they don't feel able to post to this thread: I have a PM-box that would love to hear from you.
I'm not exactly an expert on most subjects, but I can offer a sympathetic ear, a hug, and I can usually think of something helpful to say... so, yeah. I'm here if anyone needs me.
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
Can I use this thread as more specific version of the Depresion thread?
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
Absolutely. That's partially what it's here for.
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
"You have no plan, soon, you'll be duped or something and have all your money taken, then you'll be forced to turn tricks on the side of the road. How far can you bend over?"
"Pretty far."
"A sensible person wouldn't even consider that."
"Well, I'm not sensible."
"You talk about going to San Fransisco, are you gay?"
"No... more lesbian..."
"I don't think you have the tools for that."
"Well... I'm trying to change..."
"Yeah, right."
Sigh... does it count as coming out if they believe you're joking?
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
It counts as trying, Rex. I don't think it's a stretch of the imagination to think you've got a reputation as being a smart alec, Rex. If it's something you really want your friends to know, keep at it. They'll get the message eventually.
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
That was actually me and my Mom. *sigh* Well, I guess they'll realize sooner or later, that I satire, not joke. But I always get mistaken for being Ironic...
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Raven T.
I sit here and read. I read about the problems you have just because of who you are (I'm steering clear of this military discussion because, quite frankly, I don't know what my stance is anymore.) I do not, and my never, have to deal with it on a daily basis. I do not even know if I can fathom the difficulties people have on a daily basis.
What right do I have to offer support if I cannot understand your situation? What permits me to even sit here and listen to you speak of the acts that others do to you?
You folks have strength I could never dream of having. I applaud you for getting up every day and surviving the slings and arrows of your lives.
Quoted for Truth
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
Action is a good means of showing seriousness if they won't take you serious otherways - just - don't do anything stupid, Rex. I don't want a dispute being drawn up because of me... and more importantly I don't want someone hurt at all for silly actions.
When I say action, I don't mean get a plane ticket. The worst thing to do would be to head to this city with only dreams in tow. It's expensive, very expensive... and one can easily find themselves without food.
Perhaps you just need to sit down with her, once, face to face and try to explain as best as you can - removing all 'smart alec' answers.
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
Oh. I can see how that would feel even worse... :smallfrown:
Well, it may be for the best. Reading your posts here and in other threads, I have to confess I'm not entirely sure how you view yourself, and the mixed messages I'm reading (misreading) seem to be saying that you don't really know for sure, either. Is this wrong? Maybe you should take a little more time to look inward, and make sure you know what you see before you start telling your parents. But, if you know it's time... well, how you approach things depends on your specific situation. If you really need or want your mother to know, then you're probably going to have to press the issue, and show her you're not just being ironic...
edit: Reina said it better. She usually does...
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
I know, I know, which is why I need the playgrounds help. Help me get in gear so I can get accepted into a dorm college. Help me by finding loophole, motivation, anything, so I can just get the hell away from me.
I have Duality in spirit, I feel like a man trapped in a woman trapped in a man's body, if you understand me.
Spirit is female, mind and body are male. Though I don't act like nor look like a woman, I feel that I won't be truly happy until I do.
[hr]
I've admitted to wanting to cross-dress before at a party, again, it was mistaken for a joke. Note: Ricky is my cousin, and we are quite comfortable with ourselves to joke about being gay with each other, sometimes to the point where groping is involved. This does not mean that we're gay for each other, just disturbing as Hell.
*Across the room, Rex sits, staring at his computer, Ricky and friends are talking.*
"So, yeah, you see Curtis sitting over there, he used to like wearing woman's clothes before he came over and I straightened him out."
*Rex, still staring at the computer, calls out to him.*
"You didn't fix that!"
Everyone just stopped, computing what I had just said, a really nerve wracking moment for me, and then everyone thinks that it's a joke, and laughs.
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
Curtis is your name? It's a bit confusing to follow the last part.
It's very easily possible to not wish to be defined by either - or even defined by both - genders. Doing so is another set of issues, however. Try to make sure you know what you want, as Phoe has said.
I wasn't exactly taken serious at first either. So... I ensured of it later. People in groups have the mind of the group - which is not at all what they usually think themselves. Many people are afraid to accept or see for fear of the group not accepting them for accepting another.
What I did for a few friends, was take them out to eat. Then used that as the opportunity. They are stuck there to the food, to the topic, to the occasion. Since it would be so specific, I find that it gets the message through the most sure way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PhoeKun
edit: Reina said it better. She usually does...
I said it differently, can't be usually... I can't even speak in an irish accent! :smalltongue:
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Rex Idiotarum
I've admitted to wanting to cross-dress before at a party; again, it was mistaken for a joke.
Everything you say, people think it's a joke. Who are you, Patrick Bateman or something?
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
Yeah. Using direct quotes. Yeah, Androgyny is my goal. Can I get a job where I can be male one day and female the next?
As for coming out... yeah, right. I won't make any big deal, and only hope that is what I'm doing is working, that they'll figure it out. Although, one of my friends is he president of the Gay/Straight Alliance ((I have no clue how he got that...)), so if I show up there, and share my feelings, he'll probably notice something.
Me? Gender Confused? Definitely.
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
From the sounds of things, you need a lifestyle that gives you enough free time to present yourself as female when you feel like it... I don't think you're going to find an occupation that would accept you cross dressing every so often. Although, to say it right off the bat, college is a great place for that sort of thing. Here at good old Ohio Wesleyan, nobody so much as bats an eyelash at much of anything, least of all the professors. If that isn't some sort of motivation to get moving to become acceptable college material, then I'm not sure I can help you there.
On another note: have you tried presenting yourself as a girl recently (offline)? If so, have you found it provided you with the necessary release you're looking for?
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
I admire my girlish figure in the mirror, but I'm too embarrassed to go much further, too much lack of moral support. I have a slim waist, but good hips.
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
[muttering]Lucky... wish I had good hips...[/muttering]
Er... *ahem* Can those of us here in the playground count as moral support? I think you'd benefit from knowing how you feel taking it up another level or two, even if that just means admiring your girlish figure in front of the mirror in a skirt. Especially after the advent of the self-checkout, it isn't too terribly hard to get yourself an outfit or two without arousing anyone's suspicion (if such is a concern for you. It certainly has been for me...). Experiment. Go as far as you feel comfortable going. Maybe even take pictures for reference later, to see yourself outside the heat of the moment...
These are the sorts of things I think you'll have to do if you want to know how you feel about yourself. A dress never killed anyone, at least.
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PhoeKun
A dress never killed anyone, at least.
I've experienced three near-death experiences, and two (at least, to my knowledge) were directly resultant of situations involving of dresses. Don't talk as if you know what they're capable of.
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
Hm.. Phoe, if you can come with me to the store or whatnot so I don't chicken out, then I guess you could count as moral support.
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
Believe me, if I had any idea where you were, and could get there with any degree of ease, I would be there.
In lieu of that, consider this: I did it. My heart was pounding outside of my chest before I even got in the car to go shopping, and I left the store three times before I finally got up the nerve to start grabbing things, and after I got out I had to wait almost twenty minutes before my arms stopped shaking enough that I could safely drive, but I did it. And if I can, can't you?
I think so.
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
Rex, fear is something that holds a lot of people away from doing the things they want to - and while it's important to note for what reasons fear is reasonable, you need to assess what it is that truly makes you hesitate, and if it's something you should let control your life.
I know that if I ever had a friend outwardly declare themselves to be someone like yourself, I would greatly respect them for their courage, and would certainly support them. You, as you've noted, are not taken seriously in regards to this situation. If you want local support, you need to take extra efforts to show that you are serious. This might mean you may not get support until you take your first steps in this new direction.
If you are embarrassed, consider this: if any of your friends will treat you unfairly because they realize you have the feelings you do, are they really your friends? Are they even worth your time? I'd say no. I think any real friends would be glad to help you, once they realized the situation.
Friends are not the only thing to consider, of course. You may not feel accepted by the public. My advice is to not to let these feelings define you entirely - show you are still a person with depth and character. Don't let anyone put you down, because if you're a person who is worthy of respect, and only an ignorant person would be so distracted by your physical appearance, and unwilling to treat you fairly. Unfortunately, there are many ignorant people around, but if you don't let people push you around, I don't think as many people will give you a hard time.
There is always the family to consider - and I bet that can be very hard to deal with. Even our parents and siblings can lack understanding and compassion, and I doubt that's ever an easy thing to accept. But, I think it'd be good to remind you that as with friends, any family member that loves you loves you for who you are, not what you look like or enjoy doing. Your appearance may change, but you're doing what makes you feel right, and that's something others should accept if they truly have any love for you.
I hope I managed to say something helpful, in that idiot's disaster of words.
Best wishes.
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
Well, I don't fall into any of these letters here, but file me under "A" for Ally. You crazy kids just keep doing what you're doing.
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PhoeKun
[muttering]Lucky... wish I had good hips...[/muttering]
Er... *ahem* Can those of us here in the playground count as moral support? I think you'd benefit from knowing how you feel taking it up another level or two, even if that just means admiring your girlish figure in front of the mirror in a skirt. Especially after the advent of the self-checkout, it isn't too terribly hard to get yourself an outfit or two without arousing anyone's suspicion (if such is a concern for you. It certainly has been for me...). Experiment. Go as far as you feel comfortable going. Maybe even take pictures for reference later, to see yourself outside the heat of the moment...
These are the sorts of things I think you'll have to do if you want to know how you feel about yourself. A dress never killed anyone, at least.
You know...You've really, really made me want to try on one of my friends dresses, or skirts, or something...We always joke about it but for some reason never get around to it...Must do that some time over the holidays...
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
Sorry if this is long, I've been meaning to read this thread since I noticed it, but this week has been crazy busy and I wanted to give it the time it deserved, so I apologize for being a bit late coming into the conversation.
Obligatory reminder to steer clear of sex and politics.
Okay, with that out of the way....onto the actual content of my post. Thank you for starting this SMEE, it's an important issue and good to have an outlet where people can get support. *hugs for everyone* I applaud and support you all, and realize the courage it takes and how difficult it can sometimes be to put yourselves out there and share things like this, even on as tolerant a board as gitp is. So kudos to everyone that's posted here. *An extra hug for SotS and Vael cause you make me go awwww*
As for myself, I am straight, but have a great many friends that identify themselves with one or the other of these categories, and consider myself very accepting in general. Although, I wasn't always, really. Back in middle and high school, I was teased, a lot, about being a lesbian. I had a boyfriend break up with me because his sister convinced him that I was gay. I wasn't and this really upset me. I didn't have anything against lesbians, I just didn't want to be considered one. I think this actually affected my behavior in high school a lot, and kind of ended up with me well...seeing a lot of guys, I guess would be the best way to put that..and I'm not really proud of the person I was back then, at all.
I then gave the topic little consideration at all until earlier this year when I became appalled to find myself engaged to someone who considered anyone with different views to himself a 'freak' and who made mean and cutting remarks towards them. This was actually one of the bigger things that made me realize things might not work out.
Truthfully though, it was SMEE that made me really reconsider my ideas about myself and about this topic. When I found out she had a crush on me (back in the crushes thread, months ago), I gave the idea serious consideration and was actually surprised to find that the deterrent was the fact that she was on a different continent, not anything related to sexual orientation. And that while I consider myself straight, I'm not actually opposed to the idea of being with another girl. Of course, I don't think I ever will be....but that's more a product of hoping my current relationship lasts forever, than anything else.
On a slightly tangential note, this topic is particularly timely for me, as I am currently in midst of doing a project and writing a paper on transgendered individuals. In that vein, I was wondering if anyone that has posted here would be opposed to my pulling things from the posts in this thread for my paper. And also, if anyone would be interested in being interviewed regarding their experience with transsexualism. :smallredface:
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
* hugs Alarra *
You can use any bit of information I've posted here in your paper.
Also, as I said before, I'm willing to be interviewed as well. You know where to find me. :smallsmile:
Phoe: Aye... buying the first dress is a thriving experience. I felt the same way when I bought my first one. :smallredface:
Rex: I'm about to leave for work, but I'll post some advice for you during the days.
Hugs for everyone. :smallsmile:
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Re: LGBT people in the playground
But. . .if you take the premise that a certain person who loves to be contrary for intellect's sake would take some socially awkward position for a joke's sake. . .it works, it really does! That's the humor of this house at least. Maybe bracket it with I Am Being Serious Here flags instead of trying to drop it into plausibly deniable situations?