Originally Posted by The Tygre
Let me just say, I'm somewhat fond of this. Can I see myself using it in a game? ... Maybe. I roll with a weird crowd IRL. But that's not important. What is important, is that I want to commend you on being so bold with your material. You did a brave thing honestly posting this, much less keeping it open to critique. So you deserve that if nothing else.
well... clearly labeled in the title to be mildly mature
There shouldn't be any problems.
to anyone: Is the staged progression better, or did I make it worse?