[CurlyKitGirl]

The Nu Who Trek continues. And now, to boldly go where many have gone before. [*cue TNG theme (I love that theme song so much)*]

'Utopia' Part 1/3 (Season Three, Episode Eleven)
Same format as before.

Spoiler

People, I started writing this about what? Six o'clock. Why Koorly, did it take so long for you to finish writing this? Simply? Ponies.
I wanted to listen to a song, so I clicked my on my other internet screen (I can split screen) and searched for it. Or I thought I did.
Turned out that, for whatever reason, it didn't register that I was on an entirely different internet and instead I ended up accidentally destroying my post. And it wasn't recovered because I don't know.
So let's reconstruct. Luckily I only got about ten minutes in. Ponies. I got carried away.

So. To explain why I'm fangirling so massively over Sir Derek Jacobi, let me explain. He is a proper Shakespearian actor having acted alongside on the cinema's all-time greats: Lawrence Olivier, as well as having pulled off a stunning performance as Claudius in I, Clavdivs. But personally, I know him from Cadfael which is set on the Welsh border in the twelfth-century. In this show he plays the titular Anglo-Welsh ex-Crusader turned Benedictine monk, doctor and part-time mystery (typically murder) solver. I love this show. Amazing costumes, setting, direction, production, scripting, acting. Everything feels real.
Thus seeing Sir Cadfael transition from a mild, gentle monk with a core of steel to mainstream sci-fi is going to be quite a shock for me. But a local Whovian friend of mine told me, upon finding out I was watching this episode blind, that Sir Derek Jacobi once acted in a Doctor Who webisode where he played The Master. Now that is weird. Seriously. The Ainley/Delgado-Masters are reputed to be deliciously evil, megalomaniacal, psychopathic manipulators of a genius level.
This really doesn't compute, but apparently he was once The Master. But, hey, at least he's got some Doctor Who under his belt. Not that he wouldn't pull off an amazing performance anyway, but this gives him a little extra polish, having been in it before.
Let's see how he does. After all, I've fangirled enough.

On with the show!
Cold open in Cardiff? The hey? Since when has the TARDIS needed to refuel before? Except that one time back in season one. Cute callbacks to 'The Unquiet Dead' and 'Boom Town' though. Hey. Running dude.
Hee. Like this bit: (re: the earthquake from 'Boom Town' "It was a long time ago. A lifetime in fact." Hehe. Oh look, more running guy. He looks familiar. Cpt Jack! Wait, wait, wait. Cpt. Jack was left behind on Station Five after 'Bad Wolf'/'Parting of the Ways' which took place in the hundreds of thousands AD. One: How did he get back to C21^st Cardiff? Two: Who or what is he running from? Oh. The Doctor. Okay. New Two: How did he know when the Doctor would show up? Three: Why is he running after the Doctor? Four: Am I missing some sort of - yes, I am. He had that Torchwood spin-off didn't he? Okay. So, how much of Torchwood is applicable to the current scenario? While I could run to Wikipedia to find out, I won't. I'm being as blind as I can here, so no finding things out. Plus I may want to take a peek at the spin-offs over the summer if I get bored enough.
So we have our plot points set, let's resolve some. Cpt. Jack is running at the TARDIS, Ten seems Jack and drives away. Suddenly! Someone/something's taken control of the TARDIS and they're being taken further into the future than they've ever been before: the end of the universe. Okay, now I now Sexy takes the Doctor where he's needed, possibly explaining why she's taking them the end of the universe; but I don't like applying 'future' canon knowledge to 'past' events, so we have no idea who/why the TARDIS is going to the end of life, the universe and everything.
It's the year 100 trillion.
And Cpt. Jack's holding onto the outside of the TARDIS in the Time Vortex! Cut to some punk rocker humans with . . . you know what, I'm going to make the joke. I am. They're Sharpteeth. And the Doctor is so obviously Littlefoot's Mother, don't you deny it. Must say though, I hope these Sharpteeth aren't the enemy for this finale. Punk rocker Sharpteeth aren't exactly formidable opponents for the Doctor now are they? And how do they know the TARDIS is arriving?
Opening theme! You know, they missed a trick here. Should have CG'd Cpt.Jack into the opening holding onto the TARDIS. (Writer: RTD)
There's a Running Dude! And then a Sharptooth leaps out at him! Is it me, or does she look a lot like Edward Scissorhands? Just check her out 02.28 - 02.38. And the Sharpteeth are hammily hunting "HYUUUUUUMAAAAANNNSSSSSS!!!!!" To a rocking guitar solo. Cool.
SIR DEREK JACOBI! Look at him! He's so lovely! He looks like the sweet and kindly gentleman you know would be the perfect grandfather; I mean just look at him. And that period clothing with the poofly sleeves, waistcoat and ribbon tie! He's like the perfect Father Christmas, but thinner and without the beard! Aaaaaawwwwww. He's lovely. As a sidenote: you know, last night I was checking out some Classic Who DVDs on amazon, and I've just realised that Cadfael looks remarkably like One in terms of clothing.
I was a bit busy fangirling over Sir Cadfael, so I didn't really pay attention to the dialogue though, so let's replay this scene. Okay, they're underground somewhere, and the Sharpteeth are hunting humans on the surface. These hunts are common. These humans are looking for Utopia! (Title drop!) And while I'm here, I might as well add that Utopia (coined by Thomas More) is actually punning in Ancient Greek. 'eutopia' means 'good place', 'utopia' means 'no place'. Sir Derek Jacobi hopes there'll be better coffee in Utopia than here, shame really, his accent and clothing are so delightfully British I was expecting him to favour tea. Chanto(toe?) says she's just fine "drinking [her] own internal milk, toe". Ick. Still, different strokes for different people. By the way, those makeup for Chanto is amazing. Those mandible move very realistically. She does have Klingon head ridges though.
So Prof Yana (Cadfael) is a scientist who seems to have run head first into a spot of scientist's block constructed out of an impenetrable wall of technoTreknobabble. I think the gist of it is they're trying to build a . . . warp core. But they can't reverse the polarity of the jelly baby without a flux capacitor, so they need to run a level three diagnostic to make sure the spacio-spatial temporal hyperlink is secure on the intra-trajectorial flow before engaging the swirly energy thingies before initiating the chatter chatter jargon strange words, computer stuff, random words, technical blatheration.
He's even zoning out as Chanto speaks. You can tell because the audio fades away and the music ramps up. Cadfael starts breathing heavily and there are drums? Why? Catchy beat though.
And now the scanner pops up a square blip! It's the TARDIS. Obviously.
Inside the TARDIS we find out that no Time Lord's "ever come this far" and that they "should go. Should really, really . . . go." So they go. Outside.
Huh. The end of the universe is the BBC quarry. I was expecting something a little more dramatic considering it's well, the heat death of the entire universe, but maybe they blew their budget on something else. Like Sir Derek Yana.
This scene is so very Doctor though. Just check out how quickly his expression changes from 04.57 - 04.59. This is the Doctor who runs in where fools fear to tread, because he loves the universe. After all, (at this point in time), he 'borrowed' the TARDIS to see the universe. And why not see the end of it? Especially if he's the first Time Lord to ever do so.
And there's a dead Cpt. Jack! Oh noes! How did he take his backpack off before he died from . . . shock? Then Cpt. Jack comes back to life and it literally takes him five seconds to go from back-from-the-dead (05.53) to flirting with Marth (05.59). And half of that was spent gasping. I like Cpt. Jack when he flirts. So does Martha. So does Cpt. Jack when Martha flirts back. The Doctor does not. Cpt. Jack, your omnisexual powers know no bounds.
Sweet! Cpt. Jack still has his WWII coat. I like longcoats on men. Or women. This exchange is gold:
Doctor: "Have you had work done?"
Cpt. Jack: "You can talk" [He has a point]
Doctor: "Oh! Oh, yes, the face." [Does Martha even know about regeneration at this point in time?] Now we come to a bit of callousness. Despite the Doctor having referring to Cpt. Jack as his friend and former Companion not one minute ago, he claims to have completely forgotten that he'd left Cpt. Jack behind on Station 5. Regeneration trauma maybe? Either way it's callous.
Then we have a - oh no. ROSE! And just when I thought she was gone for good. Time to reinstate my count.
It's still sweet this scene though, with the Doctor telling Cpt. Jack that their mutual friend is alive and happy elsewhere, complete with a manly brohug. (Funny Face Time: Bunny-face Martha at 06.48) Martha looks a little sulky at this celebration. Now, I want to call this selfish and mean, her being depressed and snappy over their mutual happiness about Rose still being alive, but on the other hand, it's Rose. Really, I can see both points of view here, so I rest unhappily on the fence.
Then we get an epic guitar riff on human hunting! Reminds me a little of the opening riff to this song, but I've been listening to Blind Guardian for much of the day.
We recap Cpt. Jack's story. He has a Vortex Manipulator, so he can travel around in time. But it's more like a "spacehopper" than a "sports car" like the TARDIS. Huh. Given that you frequently manage to land in the wrong place and time (twelve months is not twelve hours, and neither is Cardiff, 1869 Naples in 1860) I'd hate to see what a run-down, second-hand TARDIS is like. What is it with this show and 1869?! Jack landed there too? And to be honest, he wasn't that far out if he was aiming for the C21^st and he only had a spacehopper to do so in. What's the bet he landed in Cardiff just a few scant days after 'The Unquiet Dead' happened? And while I'm at it, I know Doctor Who is made by BBC Wales, but what's their love affair with Cardiff? I'm pretty sure Torchwood is set in Cardiff. And there've been four of five episode set in Cardiff or featuring said city in a relevant way in Doctor Who alone.
What? Cpt. Jack has a Doctor-Detector now? Hello plot contrivance. On the other hand, I know what's in the backpack now: the Doctor-Detector. Then Cpt. Jack and Martha get in a bitch fight over Rose. Specifically how the Doctor "doesn't forget" a Companion if they're blonde and they have to leave. Stop. Telling. Us. Rose. Was. Awesome. She wasn't. I don't like her. And thank God, Ten's reacting the same way I am. WiIll you just shut up bitching over Rose and look around! END OF THE UNIVERSE PEOPLE!' He's acting like a dad.
Then there's a city that looks like that horizontal fungus what grows out of trees. Also: it's dark because the stars have gone out. Hehe.
Martha asks where everyone is, if anyone's alive. Jack: "Well he's not doing too bad." A beat later the Sharpteeth run into frame bellowing HYUUUUMAAAAANSSSS!!! And it's the Doctor, the Cpt. and the trainee Doctor to the rescue! To rocking music. And the Doctor and Cpt. Jack's coats flap wonderfully. Cpt. jack draws his old service revolver to shoot the humans, but Ten says "Don't you dare!" and so Cpt. jack shoots his gun in the air. And here we see the Doctor's famous aversion to guns under all but the most serious of circumstances (cf. Nine and the gun in 'Dalek'), apparently one man being hunted by many others isn't serious enough.
And then oh noes! More Sharpteeth, so they have to run to the Silo where they bare their teeth to show they're human. Huh. Guess the Sharpteeth were infected with the T-virus or the rage virus. I think the rage virus, because Ecclestone was in that film. There's a cheesy scene where the rage-infected Sharpteeth intimate they hate human and are "hungry". It's cheesy.
Sir Derek Cadfael! Hey, is it just me, or does Prof. Sir Cadfael's laboratory from certain angles look a little like a TARDIS after the Doctor's been rebuilding it? Heh. Always knew the Doctor was a genius scientist.
And doesn't he just get adorably excited and flustered when he finds out there's a fellow "Scientist!" in the Silo. He has an honest-to-God fanboy moment. And it's precious. Very precious. He even scurries excitedly as he leaves his laboratory.
Inside the Silo the Chief of Security says they can't go outside, because you know rage-infected Sharpteeth. But then after the Scottish kid with a clipboard (and an adorable accent) helps Running Dude find his family, the Chief of Security says he'll take a look-see when they go out scouting. Anyway, the family of the Running Man are reunited and live happily ever after in this refugee camp until they go to Utopia.
Ten has a geekout moment as he admires the "indomitable" human race. He admires us because we're a race a determinators. Cpt. Jack hits on a random guy (kicking off a running gag where the Doctor basically give Cpt. Jack a slap on the wrist any time he starts flirting), and then the Doctor opens a door into a very big hole.
Turns out the Silo, it's not a refugee camp. It's a huge rocket. Really. Huge.
HEE! DEREK JACOBI!
And he geeks out over the Doctor.
This is adorable.
Then we get a shot of a human infected with the rage-virus so she's actually a rage-infected Sharptooth. People are going to get om nom nom'd. But who cares about the plot.
Cadfael is all happy and nerdy and scientific with the Doctor in the laboratory, and the Doctor's pulled out his Clever Specs to look at all this technoTreknnobabble. This is just sweet. No. It's cute. It's just a little boy showing another fan of [insert whatever] his new toy from [insert whatever].
And Cpt. Jack hits on Chanto. She doesn't mind either. This guy must have Jareth the Goblin King levels of sexiness powers. Alternatively, I could make a joke about Captain James T. Kirk and his alien babe of the week. But who're we to pass up a bit of Jareth?
Aaaaw, Prof. Cadfael's so adorable in his eagerness to save people. The Doctor, though, has "never seen a system like" this before. And Cpt. Jack's Doctor-Detector (oh I so called that name!) is the hand from way back in 'The Christmas Invasion'! Wow. Long planning. never thought that would show up again. Three seasons, that's a long time to wait to pull the trigger of Chekov's gun. Cue regeneration explanation. With flashbacks!
Prof. Jacobi looks intrigued by this, and asks what species the Doctor is, Last of the Time Lords. Who Sir Yana has never heard of before. Not much of a legacy is it? Chantho is the last of her kind. This is her native planet. Martha's still Bunny-Facing over the whole hand-growing thing. With some four-way flirting. Not involving Jacobi fortunately.
The rage-Sharpteeth are called Futurekind. Apparently humans are going to devolve into them unless they go to Utopia. Aaaawwwww, Jacobi, look at you in all your sincere sincerity (it's not a tautology).
Hmmm, there's a radio signal calling humanity towards Utopia which is . . . beyond the end of the universe. The Utopia Project was designed to help humankind survive the end of the universe, and this may be it. Uniting the last survivors all together.
The Doctor is all intrigued by this new puzzle, and Cadfael starts to hear the drums again. He looks genuinely pained and anguished by the drums! Then he snaps out of it. He waves away their concern, and is determined to "find a way" to leave the planet.
They can't get away because this Treknobabble isn't working (as I said above), so we get Advanced Treknobabble from the Doctor to help fix the problem. Because apparently the Doctor is more awesome than Sir Derek Jacobi. I honestly don't know if he is. On one hand: Sir Derek Jacobi. On the other: a nine-hundred-year-old Time Lord who can travel all over time and space, defeat entire empires on his own and generally be condensed awesome when he's not terrifying people. Tough choice.
But I get a fangirl moment as Sir Yana nerds out over what the Doctor just did. The Doctor's right, he is "brilliant".
People begin boarding the space ship, and down in the lab busy work happens as the rage-Sharpteeth watch down from the hills in anger. The CG isn't all that stellar on the boarding scenes if I'm entirely honest.
Hey! Clipboard Kid. "My mum used to say, the skys are made of diamonds" in Utopia. And then the rage-Sharptooth growl into scene. Bad things are going down.
Help. I'm drowning in technoTreknobabble! But it's being uttered by the melodiously voiced Prof. Jacobi so it's all good. It's like being wrapped in a warm blanket. The words don't mean anything at all, just listen to the sound of his voice. This is excellent, the Doctor, one of the most brilliant minds of all time just called Cadfael a "genius"! Because he basically did build this thing in a cave with a box of scraps.
These two work so well together! It's wonderful, and sweet, and adorable, and precious. And Yana's pulled a crowning moment of heartwarming combined with a heroic sacrifice! He's staying behind to launch the rocket so everyone can go to Utopia. "I'm getting a little too old for Utopia. It's time to go to sleep." Aaaaawwwww. This man. I want him as my grandfather so bad. He's perfect. And Chantho's staying behind too because they're best friends and she won't dream of leaving without him. Which is also sweet and heartmeltingly warm.
Over the intercom the Redshirt Chief tells them they've found the TARDIS. The Doctor is all happy because now Sir Yana can go to Utopia after all! But there's unsettling music in the background and a dramatic close up indicating that something's rotten in the state of Denmark (aside from well, the end of the universe, the rage-Sharpteeth and the possible imminent death of everyone on the space ship). Jacobi's face is truly perturbed, like he's being remind of something he once knew, a very long time ago. And the drums are back.
The TARDIS is being used as a power boost, and Prof. Derek Yana is looking and feeling a little ill. He confides in the Doctor about a "constant noise", the sound of drums, "I've heard it all my life". In the background, to emphasise this, this drums duh-duh-duh-DUH away, getting louder as Jacobi explains the noise. At times it almost drowns out the quiet piano laid over the top.
Back with Martha and Chanto, she has an unrequited crush on Prof. Cadfael. Insectoid human girl and elderly old man she's known for seventeen years? Why not? I've seen human female/Irish cat-man before. BUT Martha brings up her own relationship.
Chanto's verbal tic is a politeness marker. Going without it is swearing. And then she does swear and giggles like a little school girl saying her first bad word! This is also adorable! I also like that this particular language tic is untranslated by the TARDIS as it is often very difficult to accurately transcribe politeness markers (just look at keigo), so this please my inner-linguistic nerd.
The comm. systems are down, and then Cadfael gives the sweetest exasperated outburst I've seen in many a month (25.23; just you try to listen to it without smiling), but the equipment keeps rebooting itself. Yeah, the faecal matter's hitting the fan.
There's a red room which is red and nuclear. Or something. And there's some button mashing. Huh. Another spacesuit and looking in through windows into an impossibly red room. '42' much? And then the rage-dinosaur starts pulling out wires and things. And then she throws a - is that a sewing machine at 27.21?! at some panelling which explodes in true sci-fi tradition. The chamber's flooding, and the brave Redshirt continues with the button pushing; pulling a heroic sacrifice of his own? And the rage-Sharptooth lady gets arrested. Hissing like a snake.
Cpt. Jack electrocutes himself to death (27.55) to technoTreknobabble a solution. But it's too late and the Redshirt turns to ashes inside the suit - so '42'. And it's all to a narmy NOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Derek Jacobi's all said because people are dead. OH CHRIST! "Professor, you've got a room no one can enter without dying yes? Well, I [the Doctor]'ve got just the man." And then Cpt. Jack wakes up. Apparently he can tell when people are snogging him from beyond the grave. Sex powers: his are omnipotent and omnipresent. But the point is: Cpt. Jack is going to be turned into ashes again and again, in immense pain all the time. And the Doctor just volunteers him for the job, although Cpt. Jack's obviously up for it as we cut to more running with wonderfully epic coat flapping. To epic rock music.
Does this mean Cpt. Jack is the Wolverine of the Whoniverse?
Cpt. Jack: "I'm taking off my clothing [...] I look good." He does.
Yana Jacobi is being reminded of something. Martha's explaining the Doctor, and as he repeats key words and phrases they reverberate and hushingly echo in a wonderful manner. The drums are ceremonially pounding. Slowly.
Okay. Cpt. Jack's immortal now. And that's why the Doctor left him behind. Cpt. Jack is "wrong". He's a "fixed point in time and space; you're a fact", and those aren't meant to happen.
Hey . . . this is all Roses's fault! She's the one who cursed him with immortality.
Ah!

He's been alive for one and a half centuries And he is immortal! And he's been in a war with the darkest power! *rocks out* Cpt. Jack Harkness is the Highlander! And Wolverine. And a Prince of the Universe. This is so very epic. I mean, they're even fighting for survival. Doe Cpt. Jack have inside him blood of kings? Okay. I'm going to stop now. Okay, one last one: who wants to live forever. I got Cadfael and Queen in my Doctor Who!
And now the stuff with Cpt. Jack is intercut with the voices whispering the Sir Cadfael. (And flashbacks) Sir Yana is crying, he's remembering something to do with the Time War. Creepy moment!: Cpt. Jack watched Rose grow up.
The Doctor asks Cpt. Jack if he wants to die, he doesn't know. He thinks the experience is "fantastic" (Nine!) Regeneration echoes over and over in Cadfael's head.
What are you remembering Cadfael. Oh, stop crying you sweet old man, don't cry. Please. I'm tearing up. He sounds so lost and sad, especially when he's talking about how he could "never keep time, always late, always lost". And I squeak in sympathetic teary-eyed empathy even as I try to keep writing this and watch the show.
That is a wonderful waistcoat. And he takes out his fob watch. He's breaking down as he complains that it "never worked".
OH MY GIDDY AUNT IT'S A CHAMELEON ARCH! PROFESSOR YANA IS A TIME LORD! The Doctor isn't alone! They're going to be so happy when - oh no. John Smith 'died' and he was adorkable. I don't want Cadfael to 'die'. He's just too sweet.
We then get a flashback to 'Human Nature' as Martha realises at the same time as we do (more or less) that the watch isn't a watch.
The drumming's gone all parade style now. And terrifying in its quiet omnipresence. DON'T MARTHA! ZOGMAGOG! It's got the circly swirls on it! AND THE DRUMS!
Don't open the watch Professor Jacobi. Don't open the watch! Marth get your skinny butt to the Doctor now! She's found him. Come on Doctor, frantic music is frantic. And the Doctor is in denial about it. Big denial. Is it "brilliant" the Time Lord's aren't dead? The Doctor's freakin' petrified practically by the possibility they're back (check him out 36.00 - 36.36), so maybe not.
Don't open it Cadfael!
Oh my God it's whispering to him! "The never-ending drumbeat. Open me, be cruel, open the light and summon me up receive my majesty" This Time Lord's a nutter who is ordering his human persona to effectively die to bring his Time Lord self back to life.
Bloody Hellfire this is creepy and terrifying and you're not going to do it Cadfael. You're not. Wait. Yana. Y A N A (I saw it writ like that on the comm. system) Y A Not A. You Are Not Alone.
THIS IS TERRIFYINGLY AWESOME AND AWESOMELY TERRIFYING!
Watch: "Destroy him! And you will give your power to me" Resist Cadfael. Resist. You can do this. You survived the Crusades. This is - God that music.
And then you intercut the creepy music with the rock music of success.
THE DRUMS! HE OPENED THE WATCH!
No!
Flashback to Boe's death where I figured out what happened barely a minute before it happened. And the music is tense and drums and guitar and orchestra and aaaahhh! 38.18. How can Sir Derek Jacobi be so terrifying just by turning around and having that expression on his face?! Which Time Lord is he?
(The humans get a happy ending)
Sir Jacobi's gone all scary. Look at how stern his face is. And how his entire body language is more commanding and stricter. He let the rage-Sharpteeth into the compound.
Oh smeg me. He sounds so scary. Chanto's shaking and waving a gun at him, and he just turns around and oh so calmly says "Oh, now I can say I was provoked." He almost sounds pleased about it. And he's waving that live cable around.
And there's some running in between the awesome Jacobi scenes.
Oh God. He's so scary. So angry. Tranquil fury, and the - "You and your 'chan' and your 'to', you're diving me insane!!" And Chanto is literally quaking in fear, backed up against the wall as he unleashes this tidal wave of invective fury. And then "Chan, who are you, to?"
And in one of the most scary whispers I've ever heard he replies, "I. Am. The Master."
SO MANY CENSORED WORDS! This. WOW! Oh my giggy aunt. Bloody Nora!
I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT! Oh you, you little sod WHovian friend of mine! YOU SPOILED THE EPISODE AND I DIDN'T EVEN REALISE! YOU'RE SO DEAD.
Seriously. Was anybody expecting that?! I thought maybe (after I figured out the YANA etc.) it was Random Time Lord; but The Master. And The Master is the kindliest, gentlest, sweetest old man in the universe?!
So. Much. Awesome.
And then he goes and kills Chanto! AAAAAHHHH! That's a fangirlish squeak of horror and happiness (he does petrifying so very well!) and all sorts of conflicted tangled emotions.
Christ Almighty. What's the Doctor going to think?
Ah. SWEET! A three-parter with a Jacobi!Master. Kick. Butt.
More rage-Sharpteeth. I don't care. The music's gone all electro-synth and urgent, and the Master's reaching for the Doctor-Detector hand. Now he's not. And he's t - what? Utopia isn't Utopia? And he's left everyone else outside the lab.
NO! Chanto shot my Jacobi!Master! And then he stole the TARDIS!
Amazing. But sad. And Jacobi!Master locked it from the inside and stole the TARDIS.
The Master's upset he died via insect girl. And he's regenerating. And the music - and that line. "The Master. Reborn" And the scream?! WHY?! And the music soaring triumphantly over evil.
And the violins!
And things have gone so very wrong.
And the New!Master has the drums (but metallic), the TARDIS, the Doctor-Detector hand, and he's all manic and very Tennish! And genre-savvy! No Bond Villain speeches.
How does Ten know who the new Time Lord is? Also, is it me, or is this exchange slashy?
Master: "Use my name."
Doctor: [quietly, hoarsely] "Master. I'm sorry." And this music is excellent!
The TARDIS is rebelling against the Master, but fails, the rage-Sharpteeth are winning, and the Master vworp-vworp-vworps away in the TARDIS!
Holy bloody Nora.
They lost.

Preview thoughts: He's the PM! basketball aliens? And people have to "RUN!" And UNIT's back?! "What this country really needs right now, is a Doctor?" *faeces eating grin*
People. This is going to rock my socks off.

Best Moment:
Any time Sir Derek Jacobi was onscreen. And also the new version of the Master; Sims? John Simms? These two owned the episode so hard I've actually got a sore wrist from typing all the frenzy in the last eight or nine minutes or so.

Worst Moment:
The cheesy bit where the leader of the Sharpteeth leered at Martha and intimated that they ate flesh. Creepy, it was intended to be, but it was faintly ridiculous in a clichéd way.

Best Special Effect:
Again, there weren't actually that many special effects. The regeneration scene was the best though. It's not really a proper regeneration scene if it doesn't stick in your mind.

Worst Special Effect:
Punk rocker rage-zombies? Really? They're meant to be scary?

Best Actor:
Sir Derek Jacobi. Oh, don't act like you were surprised.

Worst Actor:
The lady rage-Sharptooth. She just didn't have very good material to work with I'm afraid.

Number of Time MtM Obviously Hits on the Doctor Or Their 'Romance' Is Mentioned:
Two.

Number of Times Rose Is Mentioned:
Four.

Number of Times Sir Derek Jacobi Owned the Screen:
Every single time he was onscreen. Every. Time.

Thoughts overall?
SIR. DEREK. JACOBI. IS. THE. MASTER. AND THEN HE REGENERATED! OHMYGODSOMUCHAWESOMEWORDS! FAIL! ME! Shame we didn't get more Jacobi!Master, but those what, five minutes? were solid. Gold.
This.
This.
Oh wow.
This has topped the previous three episodes.
My thing with this episode, seeing as it had a pre-emptive ten out of ten was to deduct points for repeated plot elements (i.e. the '42' stuff) and for silly things/annoying things/whatever. It was going to be a good nine out of ten anyway. And then the last ten minutes.
Best. Episode. Of the series.
I say this being massively biased in favour of Sir Derek Jacobi. BUT HE WAS THE MASTER! And then this new Simms!Master was pretty damn cool in the two minutes he had onscreen! Not as good as Sir Derek Jacobi, but bloody cool all the same.
Can't get over that ending.
It was a fantastic wham episode. Everything made sense, was laid out as early in advance as season one's Christmas special (or 'The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances' if you include characters) and wait.
Someone said Mr. Saxon was running for PM. The Master is Mr. Saxon.
My socks are going to be rocked off for the rest of this serial aren't they?
I'm flippin' reeling here. This is going to be the best finale so far.
Can't get over this episode. Sir Derek Jacobi was one of the Doctor's most terrifying enemies. And the Doctor called him a "genius". And poor Prof Yana!
Wow.
I mean wow.

EDIT:
And I can totally do this due to awesomeness shock! Sir Derek Jacobi was utterly believable as both of those characters. He was wonderful and sweet and you just wanted him to give you a hug; and then he turns around and enjoys terrifying Chanto before he electrocuted her to slow death! And the transition was seamless. The way he went from sweet, eccentric and extremely smart, to bewildered, pained and saddened; and then to utterly cold, calculating and cruel. I don't really have a feel for Simms!Master yet; but he gave me a very manic Ten feel. Huh. We're gong to see what Ten would be like if he was evil and quite probably insane.
Probably. Yeah right. On a scale of nuttiness the Master probably ranks pretty high up there.
And Derek Jacobi carried this episode! And was so amazingly dignified in all respects! And wow. Heroism, heartwarming sweetness, woobielicious backstory, devoted friend, sane genius, lost and alone and scared and crying and then calculatingly cunning and vicious in his vitriol.
This man can act.
Wow.
I need to.
I need to go fangirl out somewhere.
Take a walk. Calm down.
Thinking is right out the window this was so cool.