Quote:
Originally Posted by Winds
I'm not sure that changing the focus would aid it, unless you're that much more confident in that writing style.
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I'm actually less confident in the first person; getting stronger with it is one of my goals in writing these snippets. If I did change this one, it would be to make it more personal, but at the moment I'm not really sure how I would do that (especially since the current narrator already has access to her thoughts).