Pixie in the Playground
Re: the incredible OotS INDEX!
81) The Church of Banjo grows to include Belkar (orthodox) and Haley (reformed) but not Vaarsuvius ("Does it do espresso?")
82) Redcloak finds the Thing in the Shadows watching dwarf sex on the crystal ball. *("It's entertaining, AND educational!!!")
83) Basking in the afterglow, Hilga tells a shocked Durkon her backstory.
84) The painful breakup of Durkon and Hilga ("What the heck does happiness have ta do wit' bein' a dwarf?")
85) Durkon returns, and the Church of Banjo collapses, setting the stage for "the call of Banjulhu!"
86) Belkar's in trouble...until they find the restrooms.
87) Elan enlightens everyone about Vaarsuvius being "half-camel" while Haley waits in line.
88) Vaarsuvius suggests using a "less robust" version of Invisibility Sphere to bypass monsters. *("Who's groping me??")
89) The difficulties of navigating while invisible. *("Bite my 50% miss chance.")
90) The invisible group has to make Move Silently checks to avoid goblins, with one little problem. *("I got a 4!")
91) The pursuing goblins are dealt with by "Fruit Pie the Sorcerer" ("You're trying to kill me, you fruit-filled bastard!")
92) Still fleeing the goblins, the group takes help from unseen allies below a trap door, and V leaves Explosive Runes behind. *("It's a dungeon, V, there's always a secret door.")
93) The hidden allies prove to be goblin teenagers. *("Listen to me, young man, you will drink the blood of the innocent and you will LIKE IT.")
94) As the goblin teens lead OotS past interestingly-named dungeon geography, Belkar, Roy, and Durkon devise a plan to defeat Xykon.
95) Xykon needs Redcloak to stop killing demon roaches and Speak with Dead. *("My question is this: do you know where my keys are?")
96) Redcloak tries to convince Xykon to attempt to open the gate with less "zapping." *("I've never heard of any gate.")
97) Xykon explains that he knows how to open the gate, if OotS will ever get down there. *("Sir, aren't you going to join us in a hearty evil villain laugh?")
98) Emerging from the Corridor that Takes Three Strips To Walk Through, the group triggers a trap that sprays barbeque sauce ("Wait--Halfling senses activated!")
99) V Fireballs the monster, but Haley gets dragged off by one of the goblin teens ("The fireball seals in the deep roasted flavor!")
100) Haley easily defeats her captor with Bluffing and Head Butt Sneak Attack, and is disappointed to find nothing special for episode #100
101) When intimidation fails, Elan succeeds in questioning a goblin...by threatening to cry. *("You guys go ahead, I'm just going to harvest his kidneys and I'll catch up.")
102) Roy uses Great Cleave against zombies, to the delight of Elan and Belkar ("Roy has boobies.")
103) Xykon and the Thing in the Shadows practice for the "big reveal." *("Order of the Stick! I will bathe in your blood with lavender bath gel and a good loofa!")
104) OotS, and the bad guys, make their preparations for battle. *("Demihumans, start your castings.")
105) Splash panel shows "considerably more resistance than [V] was expecting," but Roy orders "Charge." *(Belkar: "This is the happiest moment of my life.")
106) As the battle rages, Xykon makes a Bluff check, and Roy sends Elan to try to touch the gate. *("See? Never bet against the gullibility of the good guys, Redcloak.")
107) Belkar opts to leave his post guarding the spellcasters to take out an enemy. *("Pointy-eared, purple-haired, ambiguously-gendered pain in my ass.")
108) Haley arrives, takes in the battle scene, and makes a courageous leap. *("Tumble skill, don't fail me now.")
109) Haley manages to stop Elan by tackling him, then lingers a bit too long ("I guess the goblins are still confused by all the Attack of Opportunity rules.")
110) Roy makes a less-than-dramatic revelation of his identity to Xykon, who has trouble remembering dear old dad. *("You killed more than one guy named Fyron in Cliffport?")
111) Durkon makes good use of Thor's Might to put an end to goblins, and to Belkar's fun
112) Xykon, forewarned by the traitorous goblin teen, agrees to duel Roy and shatters the enchanted sword. *("You, sir, have a serious problem with overreaction.")
113) As the battle goes poorly, Roy remembers the history of the now-shattered sword ("Turn undead!" "Bolster undead!" *"Stab undead!")
114) Xykon tries to do the big reveal, only to be "moderately inconvenienced" by Roy ("You broke my sword!")
115) Xykon explodes, and the fight is over for everyone but Belkar ("Run, my pretty little chunks of XP, run!")
116) With the battle over, Haley organizes the search for loot, using a still-paralyzed V as a divining rod
117) Redcloak and Xykon (not dead yet--surprise!) explain to the Thing in the Shadows why he still can't be revealed. *("It's his soul-hidey-place.")
118) "Nothing left to do but activate the castle self-destruct rune and leave!"
119) The group flees, with Elan and Roy delaying long enough for a dramatic leap with the explosion right behind them. *("Seriously, Belkar, put some ranks in Spot already.")
120) End of story arc--Elan sums up, and the group poses for the end of the trade paperback.
"My vengeance shall be prolonged, diminutive cretin."