Pixie in the Playground
Re: the incredible OotS INDEX!
166) Vaarsuvius counterspells the bandit sorceress to set up the "Tetherball Special"
167) Roy faces off with the older bandit and is forced to once more use the bag of tricks, which backfires.
168) The battle continues, and the sorceress proves too much for our heroes, but not enough to beat her dad again
169) The new bandit king deals with the aftermath, including freeing Durkon to "protect" him from the dangerous trees. Durkon becomes the bandit king.
170) Durkon demonstrates his wisdom as bandit king, then disbands the bandits and prepares to enjoy his beer.
171) The group debates what to do with the former bandit leaders. Roy decides to leave them to deal with each other, to Belkar's delight. ("Your approval fills me with shame.")
172) Elan asks why Roy did not immediately come to his rescue, and Haley covers. ("If you want to live to see your next Age Category, drop it.")
173) The group reclaims their animals from "mount parking," but Vaarsuvius seems to have lost the claim ticket. ("Your horse, sir or madam.")
174) The Mysterious Cloaked Avenger interviews those who have encountered OotS, including a weasel with ambitions. ("Even if I have to endure a hundred montage sequences, they shall taste my blades.")
175) Getting close to the starmetal, OotS debates the merits of hexes, on maps and otherwise.
176) Fighting the green hag (or "possibly an annis"), Belkar uses a halfling rage jumping attack to achieve "Flawless Victory!" (although V disagrees)
177) The group debates whether the purple lizard is actually Vaarsuvius, and Belkar fails to learn anything by examining lizard anatomy ("Hey, it's making little lizardy noises!")
178) V the lizard reluctantly prepares the only non-somantic spells available, and Haley summons V's familiar, sending the lizard fleeing
179) Roy attempts to come clean with Belkar about there not being any giants guarding the starmetal, but it doesn't go as planned. ("I'm sorry, Roy, I just don't trust you enough to believe that you lied.")
180) The group climbs down into the starmetal meteor pit, aided by Elan's bard song and a timely (but overlooked) Feather Fall from V
181) OotS encounters magical darkness, and when she reaches the edge of it, Haley finds a black dragon waiting ("Walk, walk, walk through the slightly damp corridor!")
182) The dragon is easily prevailing in the fight when V discovers it can understand lizard speech. V's attempts to use "suggestion" repeatedly get interrupted by a dragon bite.
183) Haley's shot saves V from being dragon lunch, so she becomes the next victim. V's suggestion finally works. ("Vomit. Now. Aim for the halfling.")
184) After her close encounter with death, Haley decides to admit to Elan how she feels...until Durkon casts a healing spell. ("I'm in love with ukeleles.")
185) Held prisoner by the dragon, Elan tries to play "I spy" with Roy. ("Wow, Roy, you're not just psychic--you're a FUTURE psychic!")
186) Durkon dispels the spell on V, who finds the dragon no longer accepts commands. V uses Disintegrate instead, to impressive effect. ("Fascinating. I cannot help but notice that the disintegrated remains of a dragon are indistinguishable from those of a human, or a halfling, or a dwarf.")
187) Haley stumbles on an underwater passage that leads to the dragon's hoard. ("No talk! Ruining the moment.")
188) With Haley "indisposed," V and Durkon explain where the starmetal is. Roy goes to collect it, and is predictably disappointed.
189) Mysterious Cloaked Avenger finds the former bandit leaders and frees them, offering to partner with them to get OotS. Bandit leaders prove less cooperative, and suffer the consequences. ("The tragedy here is that this could have been avoided if I had just made a Gather Information check instead.")
190) Redcloak and Xykon the skull need to get through the Perilous Path of Crushing Doom. Redcloak decides to let the Hobgoblins scout ahead. ("*Sniff* My little Redcloak is all grown up.")
191) Xykon explains that the tower they are heading for will need to be cleared of monsters, which frightens the Thing in the Shadows. Xykon reassures him they will prevail. ("Hey, look. I just regenerated a finger. Guess which one.")
192) As predicted, the bad guys find a monster guarding the tower, but they figure out how the hobgoblins can solve the problem for them, with a little help from crackers. ("Sacrificing minions: is there any problem it CAN'T solve?")
193) Xykon is confronted by one of the "forces of Light" who asks him to change his ways. Instead, he changes her. ("Flying zombies! I can't believe I never thought of it before!")
194) The bad guys continue to clear out the tower, with the Thing in the Shadows scaring off the light archons by begging to be lit up. (With side Green Lantern reference)
195) Xykon and Redcloak recover the book that is the key to their overarching plotline--a diary of a halfling who knew someone important. ("Please! In the grand scheme of things, this book makes the "Tome of Clear Thoughts" look like "Dianetics.")
196) Xykon explains that the diary contains (in code) the location of the gates that are key to taking over the world, maybe the multiverse. ("What 'gate' do you guys keep talking about?")
197) Xykon and Redcloak discover exactly how many hobgoblins we're talking about. ("I think I just had an evilgasm.")
198) After weeks of delay (sprained wrist joke), OotS emerges from the pit with treasure and upgraded artwork. Elan takes up the kazoo.
199) Elan and Roy debate whether thunder is a dramatic cue or just a meteorological phenomenon. Roy is wrong.
"My vengeance shall be prolonged, diminutive cretin."