View Single Post
Old 03-17-2012, 07:04 PM   Top  -  End  -  #56
Slii Arhem
Orc in the Playground
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: 
Where indeed
Gender: Male
Default Re: [Nexus] Stories etc

Quote:
Originally Posted by Morty View Post
Alright. I haven't felt much inspiration for Inherit the Earth lately, so I'll make an intermission. It will also get futher parts, but after I finish Sophie's story. I hope it'll explain some stuff Dipsnig and my other goblins say to a degree.

Rise of the Prophet

Spoiler


So, yeah. I'm basically flexing my world-builder muscles. Hope it makes a shred of sense.

Also, @Happy's latest story: Poor Missy. It's a wonder she hasn't renounced her faith again. And life just keeps throwing rocks at her.
Well, besides a little blip with inhabitning in the beginning and perhaps a poor choice of words later on (seriously, what kind of ancient goblin prophet says "uppity? ) it was fairly decent.

A few things though.

The speech seemed effective, and well written, but I would have liked to see more dissent and reaction from the other tribes, perhaps in the form of another tribe leader saying "what's in it for us" instead of the Prophet.

I just think hearing more voices would have made the story more natural feeling.
Slii Arhem is offline   Reply With Quote