Sorry about my absence, but I had real life issues, which are now resolved. Specifically, Finals are over and done. For better or for worse I have graduated from the University of Oxcamfordbridge. But who cares about that? We have some
Classic Who to be reviewing!
Previously on 'The Invasion' I hold Zoe and Miss Legs culpable for the death of a couple of soldiers and an innocent policemen; Frollo gets progressively more rapey and THE INVASION IS FINALLY HAPPENING. Complete with a soundtrack straight out of
Amnesia: The Dark Descent or
Silent Hill.
The episode starts with our traditional brief recap of the last twenty seconds of the last episode, leading me to vaguely wish I was watching a Let's Play of one of the above games. Hey, I like me some survival horror. But God is the CyberSoundtrack bloody atmospheric. And seeing as it's a Plot Point it's going to be in. the. background. the entire. time.
And finally! Jamie and the Doctor are touching again!
Ugh, Miss Legs is groping the Doctor's chest. No likee. And not picture: the CyberNoise. I hope it doesn't play throughout the entire episode (even at a lower volume) or I may go insane and jab a spoon down each of my ear canals.
So the Doctor groans in a way that sounds semi-orgasmic, but I think that's just me enjoying the end of the touching-drought. Jamie, because I don't think he could get any cuter unless you de-aged him by reversing the polarity of something (who got the reference in
Avengers?! Because if you didn't: shame on you!), gently shakes the Doctor's arm and says rather urgently, "Doctor, the invasion. It's begun."
D: "Yes, Jamie, I rather gathered that." Dry wit. Sarcasm. Understatement.
Joy. Also: these two bicker like an old married couple. What I don't like about this little tête-à-tête? MISS LEGS WILL NOT STOP HOVERING LIKE A MAYFLY. Fortunately I'm distracted from this little fact because the Doctor is the Doctor and immediately enquires as to the safety of the Brig and his men. Even though his magic ear plug things aren't working and the CyberSignal is slowly turning his brain to soup. I love the Doctor.
J: "Are you all right to stand up now, eh?" Jamie, never change. Captain Jimmy Turner runs to the CB radio and gets in contact with the Brig, but I'm slightly distracted because Zoe's in the shot. God woman - girl? Woman. To her Wikipedia page! "
[a]ccording to initial publicity she was fifteen when she joined the TARDIS crew" . And her first serial was only three serials before this one.
I'm going to Hell for sexually objectifying someone who is
at best barely legal, and most likely is underage. On the plus side, her actress Wendy Padbury was twenty-one when she filmed this. Oh,
and she can be considered directly responsible for helping get Matt Smith as the eleventh Doctor seeing as she was the one to discover him at the NYT. Good Lord,
Doctor Who's been around so long, I bet you could play The Six Degrees of Doctor Who with every British actor in the past sixty years. I'll give it a go.
Alan Rickman. Goddammit that's an easy one. Is a member of the RSC along with Patrick Stewart, and acted alongside him in a production of
Antony and Cleopatra in 1978. Patrick Stewart appeared in the RSC's 2010 production of
Hamlet alongside David Tennant who is best known for being the Tenth Doctor. That's what, two degrees? I wasn't even thinking hard at all.
But that was too easy. Okay.
Caroline Harker - literally no idea who she is. And -
no. Her sister Susannah Harker
played Clare Keightly in the 2003 audio adaptation of 'Shada' and her husband, Anthony Calf?
Made his television debut in the 1982 Doctor Who serial 'The Visitation'. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP! One degree of separation. By blood and by marriage.
I randomly chose her from Wikipedia's List of British Actor's and Actresses.
Okay. One last one:
Georgina Cates. Oh, she was in
The Bill. Everyone's been in
The Bill. Here we go. Simon Rouse was in
The Bill; he was also in
Doctor Who's 'Kinda' which aired
one serial before 'The Visitation'.
Granted,
Doctor Who's been running an absurdly long time, and the pool of actors/actresses resident in Britain has got to be pretty small, and
- also I am an idiot. See, I've
never seen any of the
Harry Potter films except the first one the first week it was released; but I just remembered something. IT' HARRY FREAKING POTTER! Everyone's been in this film too. I think David Tennant was actually
in one of those films. There we go.
Okay, one last one. Who the Hell is
Patsy Kensit? No idea. But she was in a production of
Adam Bede in 1991. Alongside Susannah Harker. Who was in 2003's audio production of 'Shada'. Okay, Jesus Christ, this game is too easy.
Screw it. I'll just wait for the day Alan Rickman and Patrick Stewart star in
Doctor Who, then we can play the Six Degrees of
Doctor Who involving all of Hollywood too.
Right. I'm watching an episode of 'The Invasion' aren't I? The Brig is 'on the radio' when, given the audio quality he's clearly standing just outside of the shot. Oh 60s production values, I do love you. Anywho, about half of the men are getting over the CyberSignal, and he's unsure about the others. Also, the Doctor's getting hot under the collar and tugging nervously at his bowtie and collar. I think it's side effects of the CyberSignal.
Long story short: the Brig's sending a jeep over to see if he can give Our Boys a hand, and as the Cap succinctly puts it: "sounds like total success for Vaughn and the Cybermen".
Oh God. Even in the Villain Office of the Villain Lair you can still hear the CyberSignal dimly in the background. This is the Master's Drums v. 1.0. So the CyberRadio says that "[a] full invasion force is preparing for flight. Transmit the radio signal for the ships to home in on", but Frollo's just kicking back, relaxing so cool, writing some notes sittin' in his chair, when some Cybermen, up to an invasion, started making trouble in his neighbourhood.
Because clearly Frollo's not going to do this. He doesn't even look up from his clipboard when he tells his allies "[i]t will be prepared". Is it wrong that I'm seriously considering Frollo as the main contender for Best Character In the Serial for being straight up badass? I feel like I shouldn't admire him as much as I do because he is one
creepy man.
And then when the CyberRadio starts talking about preparing to properly organise the invasion Frollo interjects, "My organisation will now take over." And he
was writing on a clipboard. I was
joking. "The Cyberman army must stay under my control."
CR: "Why do you oppose us?" Besides the fact that you're Cyberaliens from outside space intent on taking over the world and you already intimated (or was it just surmised by
PACKER the moron) that you were going to betray your human ally and fully assimilate him into your collective? Wait, I think I started out in
Doctor Who but ended up in
Star Trek. What else? Oh yes. Because Frollo has made opposing you the highlight of his day for at least the past three days!
This shouldn't surprise you! It really shouldn't.
F: 2I don't oppose you. We're allies!" And I shall inform you of it in the hammiest, most flamboyant way possible without crossing the line into High Camp! Seriously guys, go to tardismedia/matrixarchives, get this episode up and skip to three minutes in. It is wonderful. "But you do not understand the world and its organisation." It's true, if you're not a
Stonecutter you're no one.
Hey wait. Does this mean the Stonecutters run UNIT?
CR: "This is not necessary. Humans are now under Cyber-control." Except they seem to have worked it off to some degree. Unless it's truly an insidious wossname.
F: "I must control them!" I have a complex! "Look, let's understand one another." You are the naive, all-powerful Cyberaliens from outside space who appear to have all the advantages, but I have a secret weapon that will destroy you if you don't do what I say. Now beg for your. . . life? as I sit down and stroke my white fluffy cat of Evil. "You will not get what you want unless I, too, achieve my object." The Hell? Don't you mean 'objective'? "Is this agreed?"
CR: "It has been agreed."
F: "Then the invasion will continue under my direction." Have the Cybermen always been so naive? Because if I had a pushy subordinate whom I'd made pretty much immortal start ordering me around, I'd rip his head off and ruin his Cyberbody.
So then Frollo cuts off the CyberRadio, contacts Packer, and gives him the dubiously pleasurable job of collecting the Prof. from his secure UNIT hidey hole. Packer isn't all that pleased, but well, "You won't meet with any resistance. They're all under Cyber-control." Hey wait. If everything ie makes has a CyberCircuit in it, and it's that which puts them under CyberControl, then surely anyone inside the Villain Office
which is the global headquarters of ie is exposed to dozens of CyberSignals no? Does this mean everything stupid can now be classed under mind control? Because it sure seems that way.
Good Heaven's that stinger! If you're watching it's about 04.00.
Oh my God it's a convertible jeep. Hello Sgt. Walters! And he has a gun! The minute he gets inside he informs Captain Jimmy Turner there are "hundreds of Cybermen about". Shame the budget doesn't stretch that far isn't it? Also, I'm pretty skippy Sgt. Walters is wearing a bulletproof jacket, I approve. Not that it'll do any good against Cybermen with their Dalek lazors, but it's still good protocol.
We're about to decamp and make our way back to the UNIT base from earlier when . . . the Villain jeep rolls up outside and you can tell it's a Villain jeep because it's black and souped up and rides lower to the ground than a standard military issue jeep!
There's more than one way to colour code a vehicle.
Time to escape through the back door. Literally. HOLY SMEG! They shot the Prof in the leg! For a given member of shot. There's hardly any screaming or massive blood loss, just the usual minor inconvenience a gun shot (with a rifle) to a leg with major veins, arteries and muscle groups causes.
So Captain Jimmy Turner goes down on one knee and uses his little pistol to shoot at the redshirt while Jamie's left to haul "the radio" (and hopefully the Prof.) out of harm's way.
Nope. Just the radio. Captain Jimmy Turner's got the Prof. Odd, me, I'd have thought even
some cover fire would be better than none.
Jamie just got shot . . .
. . .
Jamie.
JAMIE JUST GOT SHOT IN THE (LOWER) BACK! THIS IS MADE OF AWFUL! Loving that he's just running along though as if getting shot isn't a big deal at all. That's just how you roll when you're Jamie.
Cut to the Brig asking how Our Boys are.
CJT: "In bother sir. We need help." Yes. The Prof got shot in the leg, Jamie in the back and they were ambushed. It's
only a spot of bother. So the Brig sends along a chopper to sector five.
The Brig contacts the chopper and in a wonderfully cheesy moment, every time the helicopter pilot speaks you can hear some vague motor noises in the background in order to represent the fact that the man in the helicopter is, in fact, in a helicopter.
Then we hop back over the the Villain Office for Villain Dialogue. Notably, Frollo's furious that the CyberSignal isn't working very well and Packer again says "It's that Doctor's fault . . . You should've gotten rid of him when you had the chance."
Let's talk about the Cardinal Sins for a moment. Specifically:
superbia, better known as Pride. It is literally considered the original and most serious of sins because of someone who said this: "I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God" (Isaiah 14:13) Guess who said that? LUCIFER. And then Things happened.
Pride is also, in my personal opinion, the ultimate source of every single Villain Ball in all of history and media ever. And probably the Hero Ball and a good chunk of Idiot Balls too.
If Scar had just killed and eaten Simba there wouldn't have been a revolution (well, okay, there would have been, but not for reasons of succession and regicide). Hell, if Scar hadn't
told Simba that he murdered his father it's likely that
the entire pride would have turned on Simba or just let him die!
If Jafar had
paid Aladdin for retrieving the Lamp from the Cave of Wonders he'd have won!
If Khan hadn't gone all Captain Ahab on Captain Kirk and just
taken the Reliant
marooned the crew and run away he and his men would still be alive! But at least here we have
many reasons for Khan to be absolutely mental! HE IS ABSOLUTELY MENTAL! So I don't actually mind this one Villain Ball all that much because it's actually
justified, and rightly hinted or outright stated in the damn film!
If the Joker wasn't . . . the Joker he'd have won! But he's the Joker and has this Thing that may or may not be sexual, but is definitely obsessive and possessive about the Batman, and that's why he's the Joker. Also: he's a loony.
If Rameses had just let his people go there wouldn't have been the plagues and the decimation of his army by the Red Sea. But at least that's partially justified for reasons of family and grief!
If Frollo had just
killed the Doctor when his
cyborg alien allies from outside space told him to he would have succeeded!
If The Master wasn't - okay no. No one could have ever predicted Super Crystal Dragon Tinkerbell Jesus Doctor under any circumstance whatsoever! However . . . if he'd just not
outright hinted that there was a bomb in the room Our Boys would've died.
If the Daleks just shot to God damn
kill for once! You get the idea.
But that's generally a part of the joy of
Doctor Who. Why it irks me here is that Frollo is, otherwise, a damn pragmatic villain. This is a man who, if given the Overlord List would follow it to a tee, and then make several amendments because he believe some of the rules aren't pragmatic enough, or that several key areas had been missed out due to oversight.
This is like me, an admitted nerd, geek and otherwise fairly smart person who, upon hearing that
Doctor Who is about time travel proceeds to immediately call it a poor derivative of
Back to the Future. Sadly, I know someone who did that. AND MEANT IT. AND WAS AN ACTUAL BRITISH PERSON BORN IN BRITAIN. AND KNEW HOW TO USE THE INTERNET.
AND READ.
Okay, I got
really sidetracked. A lot. Frollo is
too smart to be this dumb! Or rather, too proud to admit his mistakes.
Pride goeth before a fall after all. I mean, when your incompetent sidekick is reprimanding you you
know you've done badly.
So Frollo goes on and on about how the invasionmust continue. I guess he knows the score on and on,
Does anybody know what he is thinking of?
Another villain, another ruined crime
Within the shadows of the pantomime
Hold the line
Does anybody want to take it any more?
The show must go on!
Inside my heart is breaking
Oh wait. That's
Queen. Point
is. Is that Frollo's plans are falling around him like the Tower of Babel. Something which he seems to be fully aware of, but too far up his own rear to actually acknowledge.
And yet: "For the moment, I have the Cybermen exactly where I want them."
P: "[C]an you honestly say that everything is going
according to plan? Well, can you?"
F: "Just obey my orders!" Translation: no. And get that radio beam working so we can bring in the invasion fleet even though I don't have a sure fire way to kill them any more.
That is stupid.
And then we're with another dude! I don't know who he is! But seeing as he's telling us that New York, Moscow and Peking are off the air and dead he is the Exposition Fairy. "In fact nothing, no radio signal at all." Oh! I think this might be Sgt. Walters!
And the Doctor, Captain Jimmy Turner and the Brig are all sat around a table in UNITQuarters talking about how boned the world is. The Doctor looks especially worried. I put this down to the fact that one: the world has been invaded and two: his beloved Jamie was
shot in the back.
They're all agreed about how this is a bad situation unless they can stop the CyberSignal. Well. Duh. Oh, and get this: the Doctor's theory right? Is that the signal comes from the moon and that they'd "need a missile of some sort" (Brig)
CJT: "That would need an orbital launch vehicle. I mean, we simply haven't got anything of that size."
I have the following points to make, in no particular order: THE EARTH WAS INVADED BY ALIENS.
By this time both Russia and the US had launched manned and unmanned shuttles into space.
Around this time the UK was host to sixty Thor missiles.
THE EARTH WAS INVADED BY ALIENS.
I'm pretty damn sure that even the most anti-West person in the world would lend a hand to STOP AN ALIEN INVASION!
UNIT IS A MILITARY DIVISION UNDER UN (at the time) GOVERNANCE AND LIKELY HAS BASES IN EVERY COUNTRY IN THE UN.
INCLUDING RUSSIA AND THE US!
And even if there is
total radio silence, guess what! The UK has rocket launch sites at The Needles and South Uist. Both of which were fully operational at this point in time. And The Needles? Was host to ICBMs. And built Black Knight
BLACK ARROW missiles. WHICH WERE USED TO LAUNCH THINGS INTO SPACE.
Granted I'm not sure if those sort of things would be of use, not being a rocket scientist or anything, but the point is, when Captain Jimmy Turner says "we simply haven't got anything of that size"
he is lying! And I'm taking pedantry to a new level.
Hehehehe. Maybe I should let a scene out before I complain because the Brig
did just bring up the fact that the Americans and the Russians can send things into space.
B: "Wait a minute." OH MY WORD! The Brig has a Key to a Safe and it looks Important!
Hahahaha. The safe contains two ring binders.
ABOUT INTERNATIONAL ESPIONAGE. For reals. And he only just remembered he had it. Wat.
B: "The Russians were planning a countdown at the time we were attacked. [...] a manned orbital survey [of the moon]. That means they'll have a launching vehicle almost ready to go!" Convenient. And he only just mentions this when
a few episodes ago there was this whole Theory about Cybermen on the Moon. Doi.
And then for the dimwits Captain Jimmy Turner explains they'll switch out the Place Where Astronauts Go with something that goes boom very very loudly.
How long does this take?
Two hours.
Genius. There is no way this thing is possible, but it will be done. "Of course, we'll have to revive the rocket personnel from Cyber-control. After that, well it's up to the Russians." Well, that's just minor isn't it?
And in this time of the Red Scare, UNIT is just chillin' with the information about the precise details of this RUSSIAN ROCKET LAUNCHING FACILITY and not telling anyone else about it. I think I love this show.
The Brig then gets down to business with the Doctor. Upon finding out the CyberShips would home in on Frollo he asks, "Would we be able to pick them off with anti-missile missiles?" I find that funny: anti-missile missiles.
D: "Yes, that's a good idea. We might have a try." The one sad thing about this being
Classic Who is that we'll never get to see this. At least not unless they ask Gerry Anderson very politely indeed.
B: "Right. There's a base near
Henlow Downs." And runs off to go do Military Things.
But that's okay because Wendy Padbury just walked in in her sparkly catsuit! And even better, one of the very first things the Doctor asks is "[H]ow's Jamie's leg?"
Even though the way he flinched it looked like he was shot in the back. Which also posed a much bigger target than a leg
hidden by a kilt.
Z: "Oh, it's just a slight flesh wound." And no. No I won't do that. I also have reason to believe that getting
shot in the leg is not just a flesh wound. I understand that while the muscle pads of a human body
are relatively 'safe' insofar as they don't contain any major arteries or organs, and that it is indeed possible to have 'just a flesh wound' for that and other reasons it is still
highly unlikely.
Z: "but he's furious because the Army doctor won't let him walk on it." Jamie: too badass to need proper medical care and aftercare. I mean, it's not like you were just shot in one of the more important and frequently used muscle groups in your whole body or anything. At least they're acknowledging the potential danger even in a mere flesh wound.
And then the Doctor lets Zoe loose on computers that have the capacity to launch things into outside space. I do not know if this is a good idea or not, but I suspect it only is because a computer genius is a computer genius with
all things computer.
The Doctor meanwhile is going to beard the line in his den in order to buy UNIT enough time to stop the invasion by launching a Russian missile into space to kill space-Uber-Communists.
B: "No, this is madness" Roll 2d20 for Meme Resistance . . . 6. Well, that was fail.
Obligatory link. "I can't afford to let you take that risk."
D: "You can't afford not to Brigadier. If you're going to attack the Cybermen with missiles, they're going to retaliate and we want to know how and with what." He has a point. So he's going to leave his radio on to transmit the details.
And then some dude says they're landing and I'm confused because the next shot is Mobile UNIT HQ (apparently) 'landing' at what is supposed to be Henlow Downs. And then I remember that one throwaway line about things being a bit bumpy when they really weren't. They didn't even bother swaying from side to side to convey the fact the
plane was flying. Or taking off. Or landing.
HYPERSONIC JET. Is that even a thing?
It is in 2011. Talk about future sight. But that's the thing that's going to take Captain Jimmy Turner to Russia in two hours. Just 'Russia'. Not like it's the biggest country in the world or anything.
But Wendy Padbury's walking around and to be frank, I want a shot of her rear in that catsuit. Damn it! We're doing military protocol and prep the the invasion. And from what little I know about this particular subsection of the British military everything seems about right.
And now we're in the Obligatory Sewer Level again. All I want is a sparkly ass shot. Oh, and the Doctor's discreet radio is longer than his forearm. At least he's testing that it works.
It does.
This is amazing. It's like actually caring that your allies are able to help you when you need it, so you respect them as people who can honestly render you assistance. I'M LOOKING AT YOU TEN.
The Doctor just flipped a coin to decide which way he goes.
That is such a Doctor thing to do.
Sweet Heaven we're hopping about worse than a cat on a hot tin roof here because now we're back in UNIT MHQ and Zoe's complaining that the helichopter isn't going to help the Doctor if there're Cybermen in the sewers. B: "If you've got any better suggestions, I'd be pleased to hear them." Zoe just got burned. Please don't have any better suggestions.
(It takes two hours to get from Bedfordshire to Russia. That's only about half as long as it takes a modern passenger jet to travel from London to 'Russia'.)
B: "Well, don't look so worried. Fancy a cup of tea?" World's about to end, aliens invading, your entire plan rests on one man delaying the Villain long enough to let the other launch a missile in time, and you have tea.
British. Clearly. And Zoe's obviously not as she doesn't instantly agree and then have a nice sit down and talk about the weather.
The Villains are doing their Villain Plans are taking over communication centres. P: "But, ehm, [...] we can't make a complete takeover without a full invasion force." Captain 'Obvious' Packer.
Frollo's forehead is exceptionally shiny today. And when the full invasion arrives "there won't be one city in the entire world that we don't control." What even places like Monaco and San Morino? Or cities that only just qualify as that due to some obscure ruling?
AND PACKER ROLLS HIS EYES. I'm starting to like him! How odd is it when Pinkie's the one successfully noticing the giant holes in the world takeover plot and the Brain just ignores every one of them?
And the Doctor's rebroken into ie. D: "There you are. Can you here me Mr. Vaughn. I hope I haven't called at an inconvenient moment, but I would like a word with you [...] I'll come up, I know the way."
The most polite and badass way to waltz into the centre of Villain HQ ever. With examples like this it's no wonder that everyone in the UK is stereotyped as being very polite and calm under even the most strenuous circumstances. Unless you're a footie nutter
or from Glasgow. Or worse: a footie nutter from Glasgow.
Or a NED. Don't worry if you can't understand more than ten percent of what they're saying.
P: "Why not just kill him? "He's caused enough trouble already." Still has a point.
F: "You forget Packer, he's insurance."
And now we're in UNIT MHQ. Again. And the Brig is buckling his belt. D: "I am just about the enter the lion's den." Maintaining radio silence from now on. So we fade from the radio (from which Frollo's voice is coming) to the Doctor and Frollo in the Villain Office.
F: "I have worked for the Cybermen for five years on this invasion. I know them, the way they think, the single-mindedness of their purpose." And it all goes downhill because of the universal wild card. Also, I do think Frollo may have a slight hand-on for the Cyberman way of life. Or unlife.
D: "Then you must know what ruthless and inhuman killers they are."
F: "
Of course." Just a note on staging here. The Doctor's in the foreground, presumably looking straight at the desk while Frollo's in the background looking the other way.
It's a nice, unusual setting that draws out the tension and shows the difference between the villain and the hero.
The Doctor asks if he really believes the Cybermen are allies, and Frollo boasts that he's "allow[ed] for every possible factor" - except the Doctor. "It was
I who contacted them in deep space" (how?) "provided the means by which they travelled to earth" (how? This is the height of the Star Wars thing you know, that sort of thing would have been monitored. You're just a British businessman. HOW DID YOU DO THIS?) "And masterminded the whole operation from A to Z." Why?
You're not one of those nihilist 'humanity is worthless' types are you?
F: "They have merely provided their advanced scientific skills, their might and strength." Ummm. So you basically delayed their takeover over the world. That what you're saying here? They could have just shafted you right the moment they found earth.
As flies to wanton boys are we to th' gods. Or Cybermen in this case. And you know how that ends? "They kill us for their sport." (
King Lear, IV, i, l. 36 - 37) At least your better than Diagonal Man in that you're not going to be shoved up a Dalek's rectum and turned into a penis head. And you're able to at least intimidate the Cybermen.
D: "What do they get out of this?"
F: "What they want and what they're going to get are two entirely different things."
So you're saying you can't always get what you want. Stuff, stuff, Frollo's a fool, the Cybermen will squish him, Frollo informs him that all Cybermen here are conditioned to obey Frollo. Yeah, here
on earth. Which isn't a lot.
The Doctor points this out, and Frollo says "If they're not, I'll destroy them." I.
I.
IF?!?! Of
course they're not! And how? No mass produced CyberKill 2.0 remember?! The "one machine" in the Doctor's hands. "And I've [the Doctor] go the Professor." He smirks gloatingly. Lor' Patrick Troughton can gloat.
Frollo's very . . . toddler-like about this. 'Of course they'll do what I say. I want them to and all their friends do so they will. Or I'll hurt them!'
So now we're an a place. It's military. People have passed out. Or are dead. This is Henlow Downs, just so's you know. And they've somehow managed to make loads of neuristors for all the dudes in the room.
Aagin in Villain HQ. "[T]hey'll destroy the earth as we know it!" And I feel fine. And Frollo's cottoned on to the delay tactics going on, so now I get to see if this version of the Doctor can lie/act as convincingly as Ten-pretending-to-be-John-Smith.
"I don't know what you're talking about." He says as he wrings his hands. I think someone rolled a four. So obviosuly Frollo laughs and calls in Packer.
Meaning that the beam is being linked to the invasion fleet right now. Thanks for breaking it hero.
Bounce back to Henlow Downs. They're being surprisingly compliant given everything. Then again, it is a Brigadier telling them this, so orders are orders. But there's nothing on the radar even though it's accurate up to fifty thousand miles.
Zoe calls that "almost on top of us", even though fifty thousand miles is roughly one quarter the distance from the earth to the moon. Personally I think that's pretty impressive. Now,
Independence Day radars didn't pick up alien space ships
as large as major metropolitan cities until they'd already floated past the moon, so all told I think that's pretty good.
Then techno
militarybabble happens. I think things are being prepared to launch. And I can't actually tell if the rockets are models or real. Obviously they're models, I doubt the military would let the BBC have actual access to actual missiles, but very convincing ones.
Bounce back to Villain HQ. CR: "The transporters will be launched. The invasion fleet will arrive in two parts."
D: "You must stop them! This is madness!" You've had your quota! "You can't trust them!" And by shouting this out in front of the
open radio channel the CyberHQ you've effectively revealed that there are people actually fighting this invasion. Congratulations.
F: "Don't you understand yet? I have no alternative." You had five years to renege on this invasion. To work alongside the governments of the earth to unite them in a temporary alliance to defeat aliens from outside space. You could have begun manufacturing the CyberZap 5000 much earlier. You could have
not asked and assisted in creating an invasion! You could have not included the CyberCircuit thing in your tech meaning that the peoples of earth would be active and aware of the invasion.
There were lots of alternatives.
F: "I can't see all these years of work destroyed. I must go on! I must." See, this is what 100% Completion runs do to you. Even when things go tits up you simply
must finish because that's what you started out to do. There comes a point in a plan, a game, a story, a day out, an event where things are just so bad it's perfectly acceptable to abandon ship. Unless you have a perverse sense of honour . . .
Bounce back. Things are happening, but not much. And the CyberShips are "on a ballistic trajectory" and it'll be a few minutes until they come in range of their missiles. Things are all military technobabble. Basically, they can't get them all.
Z: "I think we stand a good chance of getting ninety percent of them." This is because Zoe is a genius and can compute a way to set off a "chain reaction of explosions" as they're travelling in formation in "thirty seconds". Which, okay, is pretty damn impressive. And is at least feasible for a non-genius in video games at least. But I though - oh never mind. She's only fifteen and telling the military how to do their job.
This is like
War Games all over again.
At least the Brig has confidence in her. And as she' - damnit I missed the ass shot! But I did see that one man eye up Zoe's ass. So things happen and
of course Zoe's right.
More model shots. And whirly things. Military technobabble.
Countdown. And then rockets are launched and missiles hit the CyberShips and there are many explosions.
CR: "The first CyberFleet is being attacked and destroyed. You have betrayed us." The failure is is fault. And then the CyberRadio electrocutes Frollo as he rants about needing to be in control of the mission and things?
And then the CyberRadio talks about launching a "Cyber-Megaton bomb". Okay, when I started putting Cyber in front of everything related to the Cybermen it was a
joke. And now it's a real thing that is very real! Oh, and the CyberRadio is very explicit in that they're only prepping
a single CyberMegaton bomb. I don't think a single normal megaton bomb could destroy the earth, a quick scout suggest it would level a good-sized city; so the Cyberness must make it extra powerful.
Couldn't they have just made something up?
So the Cybermen are, of course, about to "destroy life on earth completely. Ever living being" rather than assimilate them because they lost one measly invasion fleet. Grouchy aren't they.
D: "Is this what you wanted?! To be the ruler of a dead world?!" And I think Frollo may have short-circuited because his head's tiled and he's holding his neck.
Scream Out!
Preview Thoughts: No preview this time.
Best Moment: In general I'm very impressed with how accurate the military scenes feel, but I have to give points to the last ten minutes or so when the Doctor and Frollo are conversing while the preparation to repel the invasion goes on. The tension is as high as the stakes, and the quietness adds a very sombre air to the scenes that is sometimes lacking in
Nu Who where the score is occasionally overused to artificially tell us how to feel.
Worst Moment: Just a flesh wound.
Best Actor: The Doctor. Terrible liar, but very good in tense moments and during the last five minutes or so especially you can really feel the seriousness of the situation because the Doctor's taking everything stone cold seriously.
Worst Actor: Eh. Random military dude whose name I didn't get.
Best Special Effect: The model shots.
Worst Special Effect: UNIT MHQ's 'flying' is very bumpy even though nothing moves or slides around or acts any different from it does when it's landed.
Most Punchable Character: Frollo. Come
on man, pride before a fall; at least admit that things aren't going as you intended.
Death Count: Presumably thousands all over the world, but all offscreen.
Kink of the Episode: I
will have that ass shot eventually!
Thoughts so far?
Frollos self-delusions are annoying at times, but very well done, you can tell he's deluding himself and that everyone around him knows it. I really like this cliff hanger and the character interaction in general, the military scenes feel
right and create an air of authority and realness to this serial.
What is annoying is that Jamie's out of the picture again. For no real reason. Well, he got shot, but still!
Really looking forward to the final part you guys.