[Cyborg Mage]

Part Two - Why do I, catch all these male Touhous?

Spoiler

Well?
Random lady: Okay, so I looked up a little real estate law...
And?
Random lady: *sigh* A main road is not private property. So just go on ahead, please.
Thank you.

Random old man: Hey, young lady!
OHCRAPWHATDIDIDO

... Why did you feel the need to tell me that.
Random old man: Oh, I dunno. Say, want to sit through a painfully slow tutorial?
I'd rather not, please.
Random old man: Nonsense, there's absolutely no way you could have any inkling of the information I'm about to show you, so just it back and enjoy the railroad!


Oh for goodness' sake no I don't want your tutorial please stop agh

One completely unnecessary tutorial later...

Random old man: Wasn't that educational?
Look, old man? I am not the moron you just caught. I know how to throw balls at little girls.
... Miss Hearn, does anything about that sentence seem-
Moving swiftly on!


... Why are the doors closed? Don't these guys have to fight to get paid or something?
Actually, if they lose, they pay us.
... How the heck is that a business strategy?
I don't know.
Ah, let's just go to Pewter.

On Route 2...


Aww, it's a catgi-what the hell is that bulge in her skirt?
Chen: Ya got one guess, lady.
Carol kill it now
Yes, miss Hearn.


A cat in a sealed box is both dead and alive!
Ow, my brain!


I thought you wanted to kill him, not catch him.
... Damn, that was the wrong pocket.
So ya caught me by accident, eh? Real confidence boost right there.

Back in town...


Hi, do you do sex change operations?
Nurse: ... We just heal things, sorry.
Bah. To the convenience store!

Some shopping later...


Yeah, do you stock any of those shady Eientei brand drugs I keep hearing about?
Clerk: Uh... look, I've been to jail before and it's not a nice place. So if we can just pretend you didn't say that...
Hey boss, I found some new digs in the costume aisle back here, what do ya think?
Uh... not bad. At least it's not cross-dressing.
Hey now, peer pressure's a helluva thing, lady.
*sigh* Whatever you say, Jubei.

On Route 2...


Oh god, not another one. Let's just deal with this and hope we have less LGBT* to deal with in the forest over there.


Little girl: Have you caught one yet?
Eheh... yeah. It's "his" in my case, unfortunately.
I'm still here!
I know.




Eheh... that's nice.
Eh, we can take 'em.


Why do I have to be wrong about this of all things. *sigh* You know what to do, Carol.
Yes miss Hearn.


The more precisely you know the location of a specific atom, the more likely it is that it isn't there!
Sunny Milk: Wait how does that even work


... Well, at least this one's wearing pants. Let's start preparing for these fairy catchers.



Why are there so many of you?


Wriggle is a girl!
Star Sapphire: My mind is full of boggle


There, that should just about do it.
Izayoi... you almost cut her in half.
You can't be too pragmatic.


Star Sapphire: Thank Yukari for healing items!
I call bullsh*t!


There, that should just about do it.
... Jubei, you actually cut him in half.
Ya can't be too pragmatic.
*sigh* Whatever, let's keep moving.



No thank you?
Fairy catcher: ... What do you mean?
I mean, what if I don't want to fight you?
Fairy catcher: Sorry, I have no idea what you're saying, so let's just assume it's irrelevant and battle, okay?
Are you deaf? I'd rather not battle you-
Ah, come on Maribel, he's only a fairy catcher. He won't be a challenge.
*sigh* Fine.

One ass-kicking later...


Why would fairies be hacking anything? They're idiots.
Now, see, was that so bad?
I... guess not, actually. I mean, I knew I'd have to fight people in the League, but for people to randomly challenge me wherever I go?
Kinda comes with the territory, ma'am. Did ya expect to get the whole league over with just by saying "Hey, I'm not much for violence, can ya just give me the badge and let me go on my way?"
*sigh* No...
So it's time to stop acting like it. What are ya so worried about anyway? Ya've made it this far, haven't ya? Ya know yer a good trainer, but ya act like yer convinced everything ya touch dies. What's up with that?
I... I don't want to talk about it.
Well, why no-*tohoball'd*
Miss Hearn... is everything alright?
*snappily* I'm fine, Izayoi.
... If you insist.

A few battles later...



KYAAAH!
Carol!



Damn it! Izayoi, get me a Potion!
On it.
*breathing heavily* M-miss He-*gasp* Hearn...
Carol? I'm getting you some medicine, but right now, I need you to make that bitch regret what she's just done.
I *sniff*... Yes, miss Hearn.


... That was far too close. Carol, stay in your ball until we reach an Eirin Center, okay?
Y-yes miss Hearn...

Later...


Why? Do you want me to take it easy?
Fairy catcher: No, I want to fight you for money.
Okay then.


Fairy catcher: Woah, take it easy, will ya?
I knew it!


*sigh* Here's another one. Where do you guys keep coming from anyway, Jubei?
*shudder* It's irrelevant.
No, it's completely releva-
It is what I say it is.

One capture later...


Well, here we are!
'Bout time, eh?
... Please don't remind me.
Alright then. You're the boss.
*grimacing* Please don't remind me...

* I have nothing against the LGBT community and thoroughly apologize if I have offended anyone at any point in the update.

OOC stuff:

Spoiler

I'd like to point out that (our) Jubei isn't actually a cat, but he is wearing the hoodie-trenchcoat-thing in the picture provided. And Tael is wearing those really baggy skirt-pants you see mikos wearing-yes, those are pants and yes, they're a unisex garment. Plus Sunny Milk's costume already looks a little bit like a miko uniform. No idea as for costume conventions for Mystia, though.




Now that Izayoi knows Double Kick, she finally has access to a move that does more damage than Scratch, which is good for us, seeing as her Attack stat progression is a little sub-par right now. She'll pick up Metal Claw next level, evolves at level 18 and two levels after that learns... well, you'll see. So, at least for her, we have some grinding to do, but it'll be managable. Brock's touhous will around level 15 anyway.




Alice learns Psybeam next level. So, uh, yeah. Awesome. She evolves at level 26, so we're definitely not going to be fighting Brock with a regular Alice (why would I do that anyway, she gains an Ice type). Five levels after Psybeam, she picks up Aurora Beam, so her early levels really put her Special Attack to use. After Aurora Beam she learns some move called LittleLegion at level 22... which I'm not sure as to the effect of, but I'd think it's some kind of multi-hit move. Well, we can find out.




Speed and Attack are what Chen lives on, excels at-at the expense of everything else. Her HP and Defence are okay, sure, but her special stats are a joke-which isn't a problem for her offensive capabilities, given that she doesn't learn a single Special move, but this really puts her at odds with her pure Ground typing-all three of her weaknesses use Special moves. Her moveset is fairly simple, picking up most of the Mud X moves, with one or two normal-type moves worming their way in-and later on in her learnset, she picks up some surprising versatility with Metal and Poison Claw. Pretty good for a Com Mon, all in all.




Sunny Milk is a pure Fire type, as is her learnset, although she does pick up Swagger, Secret Power and Light Screen later on- though Light Screen shows up at level 52, so... yeah. Her stats are nothing special, really-aside from her Health and, of all things, Speed, most of her stats hang around a below-average threshold, and on top of this, her second evolution requires a Fire Stone, so yshe's really nothing special until the late game. EX Sunny Milk is pretty amazing though, with good general stats in addition to the Health and Sp. Def of a tank and the Speed of a sweeper, so if she survives until then, she'll be quite able to deal with Lorelei-assuming we don't catch any other fire types until then.




Mystia is part of the ranks of the archetypical Normal/Flying Com mons-but is actually a pretty good catch. Her moveset blends typical Flying-type moves with debuffing attacks such as Sing, Tickle and even Perish Song, and her stats are very respectable indeed all-round, with an emphasis on Speed. For extra brownie-points, she even picks up Hyper Voice around level 40, assuming we keep evolving her. OR, we can keep her stashed until we get a Sun Stone and evolve her into Advent Mystia, who swaps out the generalism of the main Mystia line and becomes a Sp. Def tank and gains access to more supporting moves like Screech and Heal bell, along with Mimic and a few new moves I don't know the effects of. Of course, there are other Advent evolutions and a very finite amount of Sun Stones, so we'll see how the rest of our catches turn out.