[Alarra]

Judgments

Spoiler

Old landscape : TechWarrior vs. SaintRidley

Spoiler

TechWarrior

Spoiler

I liked this a lot. There was a clear event and voice and emotion. I did not like the second ‘trees’ verse and feel it could have been cut and improved the poem. It felt clunky and took me out of the rhythm I had established. Some of the verses had some really nice imagery though, I especially enjoyed the first and last verses. Good job overall.

SaintRidley

Spoiler

I don’t know what I think of this. The repetition of lines is an interesting device, but at times it’s too contrived and can be almost distracting. I feel like there’s a lot of beautiful words that aren’t really saying a lot and I don’t feel really connected to what’s happening and there’s no real emotional connection. It’s very…detached. It connects well to the prompt though and there are some really lovely lines. I’m particularly fond of “the is that was will never be.”

Verdict

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Techwarrior

Fake seclusion : Garwain vs. TheGrimmace

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Garwain

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I really like this. I’m a sucker for psychological stuff though. This really reminds me a lot of the stuff that I write actually. I like the idea of someone torn in two directions and you fit a lot of story and emotion and interest into a very short space. Very very good.

TheGrimmace

Spoiler

This was good. Very interesting. I liked a lot of the images you presented and the metaphors. I didn’t like the way it was broken up though, it detracted from the reading and made it difficult to form any kind of rhythm. Really great writing though.

Verdict

Spoiler

sigh… I really liked both of these, actually, liked them both better than either of the other prompt’s poems. I have to go with Garwain though.