Originally Posted by WarKitty
As a random aside, what's the proper response to someone who says "Well if you don't like people treating you badly why don't you be less different?" I have some ideas along the lines of "I shouldn't have to form my life around other people's comfort levels," but I'm not sure exactly how to explain it. Partly because it's one of those annoying half-truths.
I'll have to find the post, but the Gothic Charm School blog has some interesting comments. To wit, there's definitely the idea that those who are uncomfortable with people staring/whispering/glaring should not dress in alternative fashions. At the same time, people dismiss a lot of bullying and other inappropriate behavior because of this principle - it would stop if the victim would be more normal, so they don't need to do anything. How do you explain the line? I'm not looking for the sort of "well they'd just find something else to pick on", because in my experience that's often not true, and misses the point here in any case.
I hate that "principle" so much!
It's the same principle that was used by the people in authority to do nothing about all the vicious bullying I went through in grade school. They figured that if I didn't want to be bullied perhaps I should dress in the latest fashions (which I hated) and talk about boys and gossip, which I hated even more. My only "sin" was to dress comfortably in less girly clothing and to prefer videogames to gossip. And in the eyes of the ones in authority, this made me "different" and thus an acceptable target of bullying. So they did nothing because I was "different".
My response now is "I don't think basic respect should be beyond what I should expect from other people". If you're not hurting anyone by being you, it shouldn't be too much to expect others to NOT hurt you for being you. This twisted line of thinking is pretty danged equal to things like racism and other -icms that have no place in society. Would these same people advocate dyeing or bleaching skin color? Or, say, a woman turning into a man just to avoid discrimination? I don't think so! (At least I would hope not!) But what they're asking is the same thing! "Change who you are so that other people don't discriminate you". It's frankly a disgusting line of thought.