Originally Posted by MageOfCakes
I can't think of a response that wouldn't be overly mean. People can just be jerks. I think because it's easier than defying their peer group. I myself will sometimes raise an eyebrow if someone is dressed very over the top, but I wouldn't every tease anyone for it.
I got picked on somewhat in school being as I wasn't the biggest kid around. I guess I coped with making lots of different friends. I was odd in that way as I had friends from a lot of social cliques. I don't know if you'll find any of this helpful, but I hope things get better.
Trouble I'm having more is that there's at least some cases where "don't be so weird right now" really is good advice. If I went to a school with uniforms I wouldn't complain about wearing the uniform; same with jobs. Even at a job without a uniform I don't go full-out goth, because it wouldn't be professionally appropriate. And I don't wear strange stuff around my grandparents.
Originally Posted by Chen
It is victim blaming, but it can also be practical advice. Odds are you're not going to change someone's biases against you just by talking to them. As such, you can either change to avoid conflict, or stop interacting with them entirely. If its random people who treat you badly and you're not going to have any contact with them in the future anyway, odds are nothing you do besides changing will get said people to stop.
Of course, that is not to say you SHOULD do that. Ignoring the people is probably the best way to not have to compromise your beliefs or whatever when dealing with people who want to treat you badly for whatever reason. Trying to actually reason with people like that is generally no good and will just get you more frustrated in the end.
In the end you shouldn't have to change to accommodate others. However, its up to each individual to decide what value they place on how they present themselves (or aspects of themselves) compared to the value of not being criticized about said aspects. Some people might choose to change (at least outwardly) to avoid being mistreated by others if they decide they value that more that whatever they're giving up. And this is a perfectly legitimate choice as well.
Unfortunately most of the issues I've seen were ones where "stop interacting" wasn't an option. It's usually not an issue of choosing to interact with the people, but trying to do normal things like attending classes and go to social events and generally just live your own life. In my case I was dealing with people who felt threatened by having a person who wore black and skulls on a college campus (they were still in the school shooting panic stuff).
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