[TheAmishPirate]

Originally Posted by Thanqol

Spoiler

I'm actually concerned that show Twilight is becoming increasingly social and close to her friends due to Character Growth - and that's going to blur some perceptions in people's heads.

I don't think anything needs to be cut, but I do think your next move has to be a good one. I think three chapters to fully set the scene and premise is about right but something needs to happen in the next one. Some... acceleration. The results of the ritual, perhaps, could be an extremely debilitating long-term illness or the beginning of Twilight's mental degeneration rather than just 'wake up fine with a lecture from the Princess'.

More responses to responses!

Spoiler

I'm becoming increasingly convinced that this story needs some sort of tag at the start, indicating that this is not ShowTwilight as we see her. As this idea was conceived pre-S2, the whole bit in the Royal Wedding where she outright says, "I had no friends other than my brother" will likely throw some people off. Combined with the point you brought up, I'm going to need to think through the intro/description paragraph VERY carefully.

Good point/feedback. I had been planning on drawing out the suspense a little more, making the effects a little harder to spot, but you know what? *cracks knuckles* Forget that noise. This story is a tragedy, and it's high time we show it.

Originally Posted by Kairaven

Giddy up Giddy up up.........

.............
........

Why can't I stop!?!?!?!

I dread when the remix hits.

BTW, like the lyrics version or the chorus only version?

I should hate this. The irritating, chipmunk-esque voice, the nonsense-sounding lyrics, the odd inflection, the random rap-like segment in the middle, all logic dictates that I should despise this song with every fiber of my being.

SO WHY IS IT STILL ON REPEAT.