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  1. - Top - End - #1291
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Reinholdt's Avatar

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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Yay! Excellent job.

    I always could see myself as pragmatic to a fault. If I have disposable mercenaries, you'd better believe I'd use them.

    I have to admit Helgraf was something else, though.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Magtok View Post
    Gods, Reinholdt was right, a hundred percent right.
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    -Nyahahaha~
    Quote Originally Posted by Supagoof View Post
    Tale as old as thread
    And you find yourself dead
    Reinholdt was the Beast
    Quote Originally Posted by Philistine View Post
    Reinholdt had already told the truth once in that post, and therefore was over his annual quota.

  2. - Top - End - #1292
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    glad you liked it.

    but now, I'm off to bed.

    Goodnight.

    *also grumbles about posting fics on the last post of a page*
    Not wearing your seat belt? See you soon!
    Thanks to Kwarkpudding for this excellent avatar.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Tialait View Post
    This is perhaps the most amazing idea I have heard in eons. Thank you kind slayer of Death.

  3. - Top - End - #1293
    Troll in the Playground
     
    RabbitHoleLost's Avatar

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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Quote Originally Posted by Destro_Yersul View Post
    I'll admit that's probably part of it.

    I'd do it myself, but that seems a tad narcissistic.
    Pshaw. I used to ship myself all the time, as do several people.
    I would write it myself, but I've hit something of a writers block >.<

    "This is why it hurts the way it hurts.
    You have too many words in your head.
    There are too many ways to describe the way you feel.
    You will never have the luxury of a dull ache.
    You must suffer through the intricacy of feeling too much"

    — Iain S. Thomas
    Avatar by Qwernt

  4. - Top - End - #1294
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Quote Originally Posted by RabbitHoleLost View Post
    I would write it myself, but I've hit something of a writers block >.<
    It's okay, we still <3 you. Even if people keep killing you off in their fics.

    I've kind of hit a block, myself. I'm going to try and push through for the last Grail piece tonight anyway. Computer access is limited, though, so even if I finish it, I may not be able to get it formatted and posted.

    Anywho... *skips off to work*

  5. - Top - End - #1295
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Lex-Kat's Avatar

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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Quote Originally Posted by Wolfbane View Post
    Ok, I have an idea.

    But first, I'm going to need a few recruits. About 6-7 people.
    Most(if not all) of you are going to die horribly, but heroically.
    It's going to be a series of about 9-10 ships so it is going to be a while before most of you die. Guys or girls, doesn't matter.

    Any takers?
    In. I want DarkOrchid. Please.

    Lexington III, my Brute. Inner Circle. ! Melody


  6. - Top - End - #1296
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Felixaar's Avatar

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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Quote Originally Posted by Wolfbane View Post
    Ok, I have an idea.

    But first, I'm going to need a few recruits. About 6-7 people.
    Most(if not all) of you are going to die horribly, but heroically.
    It's going to be a series of about 9-10 ships so it is going to be a while before most of you die. Guys or girls, doesn't matter.

    Any takers?
    Certainty of Death?

    Small Chance of Success?

    Well, what are we waiting for.

    (translation: yeah, I'm in.)

    I'll take DarkSlateBlue.
    Live, Laugh, Learn, Love,
    and Look both ways
    when you cross the street

    Avatar by Dragonrider

  7. - Top - End - #1297
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    rubakhin's Avatar

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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Quote Originally Posted by Wolfbane View Post
    Ok, I have an idea.

    But first, I'm going to need a few recruits. About 6-7 people.
    Most(if not all) of you are going to die horribly, but heroically.
    It's going to be a series of about 9-10 ships so it is going to be a while before most of you die. Guys or girls, doesn't matter.

    Any takers?
    Cool. I'll do it.

    Sienna is the new black.
    Click here for whining.

    Click here for kitten.

    avatar by Doihaveaname?

  8. - Top - End - #1298
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Urrgh. So close to being done with the Grail fic but I have to stop for now.

    Wolfbane: If you want to include me in your project, go for it. If not, then that's cool, too. I listed my preferences for voice color a page or so back, but I'm not too picky.

  9. - Top - End - #1299
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    TwoBitWriter's Avatar

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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Wolfbane: I wouldn't mind being in it.

    If you have Dirk as well, there may be a color issue, because I speak in DarkOrange as well as he.

    Though I think he does more of a Bold DarkOrange.

  10. - Top - End - #1300
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dirk Kris's Avatar

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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Quote Originally Posted by TwoBitWriter View Post
    Wolfbane: I wouldn't mind being in it.

    If you have Dirk as well, there may be a color issue, because I speak in DarkOrange as well as he.

    Though I think he does more of a Bold DarkOrange.
    Indeed, Dirk wants in. As Dirk or Brandi.
    Dirk does use BOLD DARK ORANGE.
    Brandi, well whatever's available.
    Spoiler
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    Dirky by Beans!
    Officially putting in for an extended leave of absence.

  11. - Top - End - #1301
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Recaiden's Avatar

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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    I'll be in if you don't mind another 3 people. And I prefer to speak in Olive
    @Deathslayer: That's really good.
    ~Inner Circle~
    Quote Originally Posted by Raz_Fox View Post
    He takes normality and reason and turns them UP TO 11!
    Quote Originally Posted by Anarion View Post
    Recaiden, stop using your mastery of the English language to confuse the issue.
    Echidna by Serpentine

  12. - Top - End - #1302
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    TwoBitWriter's Avatar

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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    I have probably mentioned it before, but I thought I should say it properly.

    I think its a damn privelage of mine to be associated with so many talented writers as the people in this Thread.

    And I'm not simply referring to the people that I regularly ship/am shipped by. I am astounded and inspired by the sheer, raw talent that permeates this thread.

    I just wanted to let everyone know I tip my hat to all of you and look forward to more great ships in the future. This thread may have started as something slightly disturbing and intended for a few cheap laughs, but together, we have all turned it into something far more than that. We have made if far more special than that.

    I'm pleased to consider you all colleagues and friends.

    And now... some music!

  13. - Top - End - #1303
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dirk Kris's Avatar

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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    I'm suddenly wanting to do a Darius Midnite/...whoever else is in the Vendetta ship.

    Anyone know A) who that be and B) if they gave permission to be shipped?

    Also, you will all be excited to know that Magtok is working on something for Busty B's with me. Yay!
    Last edited by Dirk Kris; 2008-12-11 at 09:15 AM.
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    Dirky by Beans!
    Officially putting in for an extended leave of absence.

  14. - Top - End - #1304
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Mordokai's Avatar

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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    I think Shadow and Darius have something going on, at least in TRAF. And Shadow gave his permission to be shipped.

    EDIT: no wait, that's Destro. Never mind then!

    But Darius and Castaras have a vendeta going on. I think they still have it
    Last edited by Mordokai; 2008-12-11 at 09:02 AM.
    Adrie, half elven bard. Drawing by Vulion, avatar by CheesePirate. Colored version by Callos_DeTerran. Thanks a lot, you guys.
    This place is not a place of honor…no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here… nothing valued is here.
    "There will come a day so dark you will pray for death. On that day your prayers will be answered."
    Book of shadows, book of night, wake the beast and banish light.

  15. - Top - End - #1305
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    CurlyKitGirl's Avatar

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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Quote Originally Posted by TwoBitWriter View Post
    I have probably mentioned it before, but I thought I should say it properly.

    I think its a damn privelage of mine to be associated with so many talented writers as the people in this Thread.

    And I'm not simply referring to the people that I regularly ship/am shipped by. I am astounded and inspired by the sheer, raw talent that permeates this thread.

    I just wanted to let everyone know I tip my hat to all of you and look forward to more great ships in the future. This thread may have started as something slightly disturbing and intended for a few cheap laughs, but together, we have all turned it into something far more than that. We have made if far more special than that.

    I'm pleased to consider you all colleagues and friends.

    And now... some music!
    D'awwwww.

    And now, for a twist in the latest edition of my

    Definition drabble

    Mordokai/Mi'ir/Graf/RHL:
    Exculpate - to clear from alleged fault or guilt
    Spoiler
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    Graf trailed behind the boy and his paladin as they searched deep and far for the coney. She who warped the flesh of the earth into monsters. But she whom they sought was not the coney who danced and played in the sunshine. Their coney was hunted by the not-coney too.
    Tsukie had told him so in the bright of the night while he watched her sail the seas above. The sun coney was going to be swallowed by the minx coney who would feast on the music charmed one, Tsukie’s siblings favourite would fall into abyssal shadows too -
    Oh, oh, oh, see the leaves float in the singing sylphs’ breath
    - and so would he; glass-crazed and all-seeing blessed of Tsukie -
    Run coneys, run coneys, run, run, run; they’re gonna get us with the rising of the sun, sun, sun
    - the taste of death lingered sweetly on his nose, his mouth ran with decomposing flesh; his bones crumbled and cracked into fragments. Still walking, but dead. Don’t the dead get any rest? Not when they’re still not-dead. But we are all the same -
    She’s gonna get us with the sword, sword, sword
    - and we all fall down.
    My fair lady pick us up and build us whole, build us whole, build us whole-
    - Sun coney won’t come though; not in time – time that floats in currents and tears us into veils of somethingless nothings – the sun coney dies now.
    Can’t stop it.
    Must stop.
    Why?
    Is it time to stop it?
    Must live to serve Tsukie in the darkly bejewelled seas. So the charmer of music and the true sword shall be unmazed -
    Pockets full of posies, atishoo, atishoo, we all stand safe
    - and they see the shadowed coney for truth.


    Yus, 'tis a tad longer due to even more absences.
    Hope you enjoy it and that I caught the mood right.
    Last edited by CurlyKitGirl; 2009-01-01 at 01:39 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by V'icternus View Post
    Why is it that you now scare me more than the possibility of nuclear war?
    Quote Originally Posted by Dr. Bath View Post
    To compare [Curly] to the beauty of the changing seasons or timeless stars would be an understatement.
    Quote Originally Posted by Coidzor View Post
    But Koorly is the sweetest crime.

    Squid bones are lies.
    Bathatar!

  16. - Top - End - #1306
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Cristo Meyers's Avatar

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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Ooooo...me like, your skill with prose never ceases to amaze, Koorli.

  17. - Top - End - #1307
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    Dirk Kris's Avatar

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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Curly, breathe easy knowing that I'll be gone 2 and 1/2 weeks, so no new ships from me during that time.
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    Dirky by Beans!
    Officially putting in for an extended leave of absence.

  18. - Top - End - #1308
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Thufir's Avatar

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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Once again, I've caught up, and you'll have to make do with a generic "You're all awesome." rather than specific comments. Well, except for:

    Quote Originally Posted by Dirk Kris View Post
    How the Grinch Stole Christmas starring Cristo as Cristo-Lou Who/Mordokai as the Grinch/Wolfbane as Max the dog
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    <snip>
    "Easy for you to say! I'm a freakin' GIRL!"
    "Not like it's the first time..."
    <snip>
    *Smirks*

    Right, for the first time in a while I'm free for a bit, I can actually write something! *Shocked face*
    "'But there's still such a lot to be done...'
    YES. THERE ALWAYS IS."

  19. - Top - End - #1309
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Dallas-Dakota's Avatar

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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Quote Originally Posted by Dirk Kris View Post
    Curly, breathe easy knowing that I'll be gone 2 and 1/2 weeks, so no new ships from me during that time.
    /de-lurk
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    And Curly, that fic was amazing!

    /lurk
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    Quote Originally Posted by RabbitHoleLost View Post
    DD: .... DEM HIPS.
    Quote Originally Posted by faerwain View Post
    Why do I have the feeling that you actually really grind Smurfs to make your ice cream?
    Quote Originally Posted by banjo1985 View Post
    My wedding underwear has a picture of Dallas Dakota's face on them.
    Ceikatar!

  20. - Top - End - #1310
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Mordokai's Avatar

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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Quote Originally Posted by Dirk Kris View Post
    Curly, breathe easy knowing that I'll be gone 2 and 1/2 weeks, so no new ships from me during that time.
    Taking vacations?
    Adrie, half elven bard. Drawing by Vulion, avatar by CheesePirate. Colored version by Callos_DeTerran. Thanks a lot, you guys.
    This place is not a place of honor…no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here… nothing valued is here.
    "There will come a day so dark you will pray for death. On that day your prayers will be answered."
    Book of shadows, book of night, wake the beast and banish light.

  21. - Top - End - #1311
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Okay, finally done. And you know how I said I wasn't going to do any more massive segments for this arc? Yeah, well, I guess I lied!

    Anyway, I had some trouble working through a couple places, hopefully it won't be too obvious. I hope ya'll enjoy it. Hopefully, the formatting isn't in need of too many touch-ups as I'll have to do them later.

    Ghost Warlock and the (Un)Holy Grail, Part Six (IStLY fic)
    Brandelle (Dirk Kris) / Cobra_Ikari / CurlyKitGirl / Dragonrider / ghost_warlock / Happyturtle / Mordokai / ??? / ??? (surprise character introductions ) (Gezina mentioned)
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    Once Turtle was seated, Ghost turned to Brandelle.

    “Now, I suppose I should begin with introductions. I am the Ghost Warlock and this,” he indicated Turtle, “is Happyturtle. You may call us Ghost and Turtle for short. I assume you already know the precious paladin, Mordokai. Now, who are you?” He glared fiercely at Brandelle.

    Brandelle glanced at Mordokai for encouragement. “Um…I’m nobody. I’m Brandelle. I’m just a…I mean I was a barmaid. Mordokai saved me.”

    “I was unaware the life of a barmaid was one that required salvation from.”

    “No! I mean, my master, he…”

    “He was scum.” Mordokai asserted.

    “Ah. Just as well, then.”

    “What are you doing here?” Turtle blurted out, staring at Mordokai.

    “Yes, I was just getting to that,” Ghost sighed.

    “After you healed me, Ghost, I began having visions. I interpreted the dreams to mean the girl I saw in them needed my help. So I sought her out and found Brandelle. Her employer, a waste of a man, was working her as his slave due to a contemptible contract she’d unwittingly signed. I rendered the contract void and took her into my protective custody.”

    Brandelle gave Mordokai’s hand a gentle squeeze. He smiled at her.

    “Right,” Turtle said.

    “How did you summon him, girl?” Ghost asked. “What magic did you use?”

    “I…I didn’t! I didn’t do anything!” She stuttered. “I dreamt of him as well. And then he came for me. I was as shocked as he was!”

    “And you’re fine with that? It doesn’t bother you to know that someone has been fiddling about in your skull, planting images?” Ghost sneered. Secretly, he began concentrating in the back of his mind, activating a power to sense their emotions.

    “I assumed the visions came from Sune, a miracle,” Mordokai said. The paladin’s anger was palpable. Churning within him, Ghost sensed other things as well, stubbornness, pride, all striving feebly against his irrepressible self-assurance; his faith.

    “How can you be sure?” Turtle asked, “And how convenient is it that, right after I hear Rabbit tried to kill you I find you’ve got another girl on your arm. It’s bad enough you and Rabbit go behind my back, secret meetings, but now you’ve got this…this child…who suddenly needs your ‘protection!’ What about me, Mordokai? It wasn’t that long ago that you and I…” she trailed off.

    Ghost gorged on her cascade of emotions like a beggar been handed a pot roast. Rage, fear, jealously, lust, resentment, pity, and countless other feelings lined up like a buffet. Smiling despite himself, Ghost turned to Brandelle.

    “Turtle, I… It’s not like that. We’re not like that… Are we?” Mordokai asked, though Ghost was paying scant attention to him.

    “Mordokai, I…” Brandelle whispered, faintly. But Ghost wasn’t at all interested in what she had to say, focusing his attentions on what she was feeling.

    But she was a blind spot, a void in his field of detection. He could sense nothing from her. He sucked in his breath, shocked.

    Ghost stood suddenly, knocking over his chair. He grabbed at her, snatched at the collar of her dress, dragging her to her feet. He twisted the fabric at her throat cruelly. “Who are you, girl?” he demanded. “What are you? What is your game, here?”

    Mordokai leapt to his feet, grabbing at Ghost and striving to pull him off of her. “Hey! Release her, fiend!”

    “Wha...?” Turtle muttered, sliding in her chair away from the table, shocked at the sudden display.

    “You’re a fool, paladin,” Ghost hissed. “You have no idea what it is you travel with! You are blinded by your faith and see only innocence where gods alone know what…thing…lurks behind this fragile mask!”

    “Ghost! Enough!” Mordokai shouted, reaching for his sword.

    “As you would have it,” Ghost released Brandelle and she sunk, coughing, back into her chair. “Mark my words; this creature is no mere servant girl. Your fate is in your own hands, paladin.”

    Ghost stormed out the tavern door and into the streets, leaving Mordokai to comfort the now-crying girl.

    ‘Alone again, at last,’ Ghost thought to himself as he stalked towards the keep. ‘Just as well, the fool paladin would only try to stop me if he knew my objective.’

    “What was that all about?” Ghost started at the sound of the voice behind him.

    “Turtle? You’re not going to stay with your lover boy back there?” He asked.

    “Mordokai? Oh, hells no. Watch him fawn all over that child? No thank you! I’d rather die.”

    Ghost smirked. “You may be in good company for that, if you continue to travel with me.”

    She smiled back. “Yes, I actually noticed that about you.”

    “You love him, staying there would kill you just the same, inside,” Ghost stated. “What is it about that paladin?”

    “He…He’s confident?” Turtle considered. “Usually considerate? Tender? He’s the knight in shining armor almost every girl dreams will one day sweep her off her feet. He may not be a prince, but he’s a dead ringer. He’s a real man.”

    Ghost laughed. “As opposed to all of us fake ones!”

    She sighed. “That’s not what I meant.”

    “Save it. It’s not really any of my concern. The ways and wiles and whispered sweetness of love are all in the past for me.”

    “You don’t think you’ll find someone, yet?”

    He stopped and fixed her with a stare. “I…had a love once. A love so deep and full it was worth dying for. And so I did. I’m now only waiting for my mind to realize that my heart stopped years ago. In the meantime, I fill time with my objective: to seek the Grail. And I’m very close, now. I will not fail.”

    “Single minded, much?”

    “Quite,” He proceeded towards the keep.

    Meanwhile, in the keep, Dragonrider had been working her soldiers hard throughout the day. When a number of them found her in the banquet hall, asleep on the floor, they thought best not to wake her. Instead, they took inspiration from the drunkard in the dungeon and more closely inspected the goods in the larder. They were pleasantly surprised by the quality of the drink yet stored there. Laughing at their good fortune, they climbed up upon the battlements to enjoy the drink with only a small chance of being discovered by Dragonrider or the other lancers.

    By the time Ghost and Happyturtle approached the keep, their brains were already buzzing nicely as a result of the drink. When they heard Ghost shouting up at them, the staggered to their feet and looked down at him from the keep walls.

    “Allo! Who is zis?” One of the lancers replied to Ghost’s calls.

    “I am the Ghost Warlock and this is my companion, Happyturtle. Who’s keep is this?”

    “This is the castle of our master, Dragon...de…lu…la…Rider!” the toasted guard replied.

    Ghost considered the obviously drunken guard and decided to try his luck at getting into the keep peacefully. “Go and tell your master that we have been charged by the gods with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night he can join us in our quest for the Unholy Grail.”

    “Well,” the guard replied, “I'll ask her, but I don't think she'll be very keen... Uh, she's already got one, you see?”

    Ghost sneered. “What? Are you sure she’s got one?”

    “Oh, yes, it’s very nice!” The guard turned to the other lancers and snickered. “I told him we’ve already got one!”

    Ghost and Turtle glanced at each other, hearing the roaring laughter from up on the battlements.

    “Well, can we come up and have a look?” Ghost tried.

    “Of course not!” the guard shouted back. “You are Bulgarian types!”

    “Well, what are you then?” Ghost asked.

    “I'm Byzantine! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly person!”

    “What are you doing in Bulgaria?” Turtle asked.

    “Mind your own business!” the guard shouted back.

    “If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!” Ghost warned.

    You don't frighten us, Bulgarian pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Ghost-man, you and all your silly Bulgarian kaniggets,” the guard stuck out his tongue.

    “What a strange person.” Turtle said.

    “Now look here,” Ghost began.

    “I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough whopper! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of eldeberries.” The guard shouted back.

    “Is there someone else up there we could talk to?” Turtle tried.

    “No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!”

    “Now, this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable,” Ghost shouted.

    “How you Bulgarians say, I one more time unclog my nose in your direction, sons of a window-dresser! So, you think you could out-clever us Byzantine folk with your silly knees-bent running about advancing behavior! I wave my private parts at your aunties, you heaving lot of second-hand electric donkey bottom biters,” the guard replied.

    As the guard continued to prattle on, Ghost sighed and turned to Turtle. “I don’t suppose you can fly?”

    “Um, no, not exactly,” she replied.

    “Well, I’ve had enough of this. I’m going up there. You think you can find a way inside?”

    “Um, yes. They’ve reinforced the gates but it’s nothing I can’t get through.”

    Ghost looked at her quizzically for a moment, then shrugged. “See you inside.”

    With that, he teleported up onto the battlements. The Byzantine lancers slowly turned to look at him.

    Turtle ran around the side of the keep, up a short flight of stone steps to a wooden side door. Summoning all her strength, she began to wail on the door with her fists. “Mordokai” she said between blows, “This. Is. Because. Of. That. Stupid. Girl!”

    The door shuddered with each blow and eventually splintered and caved in. She ran inside and, knowing she only had a few moments before guards arrived, began summoning her hechpixies.

    Meanwhile, on the battlements, Ghost considered the lancers slowly trying to surround him.

    “You fools really have no idea who you’re dealing with, do you?” Ghost chided.

    The sudden seriousness of the situation seemed to have a mildly sobering effect on the guards. “So you think your fancy magic tricks can scare us? You’re not fooling anyone! I burst my pimples at you and call your daughter an unrequested silly thing. You tiny-brained wiper of other people's bottoms!”

    “What are you Byzantines doing here in a Bulgarian fort?” Ghost asked.

    “This is no Bulgarian fortress, you illegitimate faced buggerful!” the guard replied. “This is Adrianople, this keep belongs to Byzantium, now. Daffy Bulgarian Warlock-boy, who is afraid of a duck, you know!”

    “Oh, no. I remember quite clearly that…This! Is! Bulgaria!” With a savage kick to the chest, Ghost sent the drunken guard tumbling over the battlement wall.

    Down in the keep, Turtle and her henchpixies were making short work of the guards there. After only a few moments of combat, Turtle and her pixies faced off against a single remaining guard.

    Outnumbered and obviously outclassed, the guard considered his situation for a moment and threw down his weapon. “Many apologies to my Empress for perhaps dishonoring her, but I surrender. This is no way to die, being beaten to death by fairies.”

    Up on the battlements, Ghost smiled as he looked around at the charred bodies of the guards he’d become so annoyed with moments ago. They hadn’t put up much of a fight, being to drunk to properly wield their weapons. Almost a pity, really; he’d hoped they’d be more of a challenge. He scooped up a jug of the stuff they’d been drinking and hurled it out over the battlements. Pausing for a moment before heading down, he decided to pick up a sword from one of the bodies. The pommel was still warm from the flames, but not uncomfortably so.

    Climbing down the stairs from the battlements, he roamed around the keep looking for signs of life. Shortly after coming down into the keep, he happened upon Dragonrider, sleeping in the banquet hall.

    Entering the room, he cleared his throat loudly.

    She started awake and looked around, then at him. Not recognizing him, she scrambled to her feet. “Who are you?”

    “I assure you, I’m an enemy.” He smiled and, using his powers, enjoyed a taste of her surprise and fear, as well as a hint of…longing for someone? “Oh, if it’ll make you feel better, go ahead and arm yourself. It won’t matter anyway, but it might make this more fun for me. Your boys upstairs hardly put up a fight at all.”

    Back downstairs, Turtle eyed the surrendering guard suspiciously. “What? Just like that?”

    “Yes, miss,” he replied. “My mother could never bear the news that I’d been killed by pixies.”

    “And she’d be fine with you just giving up like this?”

    The guard shrugged. “She told me, ‘don’t you go getting killed before you get me grandbabies,’ miss.”

    “So, really, you’re just afraid of your mom,” Turtle noted.

    “Well, her and my three aunties what passed away in the last few years. Mom says they’re in the next life, waiting for nieces and nephews and if I don’t deliver…”

    Turtle snickered despite herself. “Sounds…sensible.”

    “I try, miss,”

    “Stop calling me miss. My name is Turtle.”

    “Yes, mi…er…Turtle,” he caught himself.

    “What’s your name, soldier?”

    “Reinholdt, mi…Turtle,” he caught himself again.

    “Well, Reinholdt, my friend is upstairs probably finishing off the last of your allies. He could be here any moment and I’m not sure he’ll be as merciful. Quickly, did you and the other guards here capture an armored man earlier today?”

    “You mean that insane paladin, Mordokai? Yes, we tossed him in the dungeon until our commander told us to move him somewhere else.”

    “Where did you bring him?”

    “We brought him to one of the towers. Last I saw him, he was singing a song about how he wanted to marry a girl with ‘a certain…special…’ and then he’d get all upset when everyone started ignoring him instead of stopping his song. He said something about it being his favorite part of the movie.”

    Turtle giggled. “That’s him all right. Bring me to him.”

    “As you wish,” he said and started walking. Then, he paused and considered for a moment. “Turtle?”

    “Yes, Reinholdt?”

    “Thank you for sparing me death at the hands of pixies. I want you to know that I think you’re nice for doing so. Also,” he said sheepishly, “You’re very pretty.”

    Turtle found herself blushing as he led her to Cobra/‘Mordokai.’

    In the banquet hall, Ghost concentrated briefly to activate a few of his talents as he and Dragonrider circled each other, looking for openings. Her mind raced as she studied him, watching him seem to anticipate her every move. He appeared to be armed only with a short sword, one obviously taken from one of her men, and he didn’t appear to be wearing armor. He enjoyed her growing concern as she realized he was probably some sort of mystic and probably didn’t need armor to protect himself.

    “You’re not thinking about surrendering, are you, girl? Not that it’d matter if you did. I’d probably just make things worse for you,” he taunted.

    “Villain!”

    “Says the girl apparently leading a group of men to invade my homeland.”

    “This land belongs to Empress Curly, to Byzantium. You cowards stole it years ago but we’ll reclaim it!” she shouted, trying to work up some confidence.

    “Foolish girl, don’t you know that, if Curly’s mother hadn’t been such an ambitious idiot, there needn’t have been a war then, just as there wouldn’t need to be one now! Curly is fooling herself if she ever thinks she’ll rule Bulgarian land now.” He snarled and leapt at her, thrusting the short sword wildly at her midsection.

    She easily deflected the clumsy blow, only to realize too late that it was a feint. He smashed his left fist upside her head, dizzying her for a moment. He batted her sword away, sending it skittering across the room.

    “Your precious Empress is overstepping her bounds, trying to claim something that would have been rightfully hers only if her mother hadn’t snatched it away. She’s a child who needs to be taught to respect the treaties of her forebears.” He wrapped an arm behind her, dropped his sword, and grabbed her by the throat. He began choking her.

    Dragonrider struggled and tried to draw her dagger from its sheath at her waist.

    He released her throat and grabbed her wrist, shook the dagger out of her hand.

    Scooping her up, he tossed her onto one of the tables. Stunned by the impact, she could do nothing as he pinned her. His hand wrapped around her throat again. She closed her eyes and waited for oblivion.

    But his grip about her neck didn’t tighten. “Listen, child, I’ve no wish to kill you now. Instead, I want you to do something for me. I can sense you’ve got someone waiting for you, someone you yearn to be with again. If you ever want to see them again, you’ll do as I say.”

    Hearing his words, all of her thoughts went to Dallas. She imagined the look on his face if he discovered she’d been killed like this. “What do you want?”

    “I merely ask that you deliver a message back to your Empress Curly. Tell her what I’ve told you here, that she should abandon her foolish quest to claim land rightfully belonging to Bulgaria. And, I want you to show her something.”

    From a pocket, he produced a dark, heavy-looking ring. He slipped it onto a finger with practiced ease. Confused, she stared at him. As he watched her, she noticed the ring starting to glow, first darkly red and then brightly. She could feel heat emanating from it as he brought it towards her face.

    “No! Please!” she pleaded.

    With a sharp breath, he blew long strands of her hair aside and pressed the ring against her neck, burning its signature into her flesh, branding her.

    She flinched and screamed in pain, but he kept his arm steady and the ring pressed firmly to her skin.

    And then he released her, stepped away. Her hands flew to her neck and she sobbed in agony. He tossed her his wineskin. “Here, this will soothe the pain a little.”

    She poured the contents on the burn and the cool water did help some.

    “You bastard,” she said.

    “Nevermind that, just do as I ask and maybe you’ll get to see your beloved again,” he slipped the ring, now cool again, back into his pocket.

    “Who are you?” she asked again.

    “I am the Ghost Warlock. If you want to know more than that, you’ll have to ask your Empress after you show her that mark. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have other matters to attend to,” he headed for the door, but paused.

    “Oh, I have friends that may be by here any moment. They may not take kindly to finding you. I’d suggest you make yourself scarce.”

    “What, I’m supposed to hide?”

    “That, or I can hurl you over the battlement wall like I did one of your lancers.”

    Muttering a curse word, she slunk off to the kitchens, hoping to find a safe place there.

    After she’d left the room, Ghost sighed and shook his head. “Poor kid.”

    He headed downstairs, looking for the vault.

    Upstairs, in the tower, Turtle waited for Reinholdt to unlock the door to ‘Mordokai’/Cobra’s improvised prison.

    “Oh!” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra said as they entered his chamber. He stood by the window, a long chain of tied-together bedding hanging out. “This isn’t what it looks like, honest! I promise wasn’t trying to escape!”

    “Relax…er…’Mordokai,’” Turtle said. “I’m here to rescue you.”

    “If you weren’t trying to escape…Nevermind, I don’t want to know.” Reinholdt said.

    “Oh, hey, it’s you!” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra said, recognizing Reinholdt. “How’s it going?”

    “Um. Fine? Considering I’ve been taken captive,” Reinholdt replied.

    “Well, that’s probably just as well,” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra said. “Not much chance giving your mom and aunties those grandbabies if you’re dead. And Turtle, here, will be a wonderful mom. You’ll both be very happy.”

    “Wha…?” Turtle said, looking back and forth from Cobra to Reinholdt. “Are you suggesting we…?”

    Reinholdt smiled meekly at her. “I’ve never been seduced by predeterminism before.”

    “‘Mordokai,’ are you messing around with us?” Turtle asked, feeling blush coming on.

    “Could be, Turtle, could be. I try to have a sense of humor about these things.” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra said, beaming. “Well, what’s next?”

    “What do you mean?” Reinholdt asked.

    “Well, Ghost should be claiming the Grail about now. And then he kind of abandons us here. So it’s really up to us what we want to do next.

    “You mean after all of this, everything we went through with him, he just…Nah, I can’t really act surprised,” Turtle admitted.

    “Ghost? Who’s that?” Reinholdt asked.

    “Oh, he’s the anti-villain of this arc,” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra answered. “He’s been on quest to find the Unholy Grail for weeks now. Should be claiming it as we speak and then heading for Preslav to bring it to his friend. He’s helping her become a god, you see.”

    “Does that work?” Reinholdt asked.

    “Now, now. Can’t give away the ending.” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra said, still smiling.

    “You really are a terrible oracle. And I think you’re getting worse.” Turtle sighed.

    “Worse? Or better!” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra replied, then laughed.

    Turtle shook her head and thought for a moment. “You know, Cobra, I’ve still got a bit of time left for my vacation. Do you mind if we just go back to Castle Anthrax and relax a bit?”

    “Well, we’ve got a little while before we have to worry about the ‘save the paladin, save the world’ thing again since…I’m…safe with you two. Oh, hey, sure! C’mon over! Have you ever seen a catmuffin before, Reinholdt? They’re adorable and ferocious!”

    “Catmuffin?” Reinholdt asked. “Wait, aren’t you going to turn me in to your superiors, the watch or something?”

    “What, you mean like the army? Ugh, why on earth would we do that? They’d ask all sorts of silly questions and who knows what they’d do with you. Nah, I say we just stick together for now,” Turtle replied.

    “Does…does that mean you like me?” Reinholdt asked.

    “…” Turtle paused, silently cursing herself as she felt the blush spreading across her cheeks. “Maybe…”

    “D’awwww!” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra said.

    “Quiet, you!” Turtle replied.

    Outside the keep, Ghost inspected the Unholy Grail in the afternoon sun. Holding it, he could feel its power radiating though his hand and into his arm. Slipping it into his belt, he started heading north, towards Preslav. Ina was waiting for him, waiting for this powerful gift.

    Hours later, under cover of twilight, Dragonrider crawled out of the kitchen cabinet she’d hidden herself in. She rubbed the kink out of her neck angrily, and then winced in pain as she accidentally touched the burn Ghost had left her.

    “All that time hiding in a cupboard and it doesn’t look like anyone was even looking for me.”

    Stepping out of the kitchen, she could hear some faint shouting coming from one of the passages outside the banquet hall. Following the sound of the voice, she made her way down into the dungeons.

    “Of course! That drunk we locked up,” she whispered.

    “Hello? Can anyone hear me?” The man called through his cell window.

    “Yes, I’m coming,” she growled, hurrying down the stairs. “Shut up.”

    “Oh, sorry. It’s just, well, I’m really thirsty is all.”

    “I’ll bet you are.”

    “How’d I get locked up…oh. You’re not from around here,” he said as she stepped into view of his window. He noted her uniform. “You’re one of the Byzantines!”

    “Brilliant deduction. And you’re my prisoner. What’s your name, soldier?”

    “Um. Rubakhin. Please tell me you’re going to let me out of here.”

    “Yes, I am. And then you’re coming with me back to Constantinople. You’re now a prisoner of war.”

    “Oh,” he said. “Well, then, can I still get a drink?”

    She sighed and started to unlock the cell.

    Over the next few days of their journey back to Byzantium, she discovered that, so long as she kept his ‘drinks’ fairly rationed, he was reasonably pleasant and not too difficult to keep in line. She also managed, in this way, to keep him from drinking himself unconscious again.

    When they finally arrived in Constantinople Rubakhin was taken to the dungeons to wait until he underwent questioning. Dragonrider, however, was immediately ushered in to see Empress Curly.

    “Where are your men? Where is the paladin I sent you after? What do you have to say for yourself, General Dragonrider?” Empress Curly asked, obviously very cross.

    “I’m sorry, Empress. We had the paladin in custody, but then encountered unexpected resistance,” Dragonrider answered, and told the Empress her tale.

    “The Ghost Warlock? I’ve never heard of him. Show me the mark,” Empress Curly commanded.

    Dragonrider stepped forward, bowing respectfully, and pulled back her curls to reveal the brand on her neck.

    Empress Curly studied the mark for a few seconds before realization dawned. “Simeon!?”

    *goes to enjoy a day off*
    Last edited by ghost_warlock; 2008-12-11 at 12:22 PM.

  22. - Top - End - #1312
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dirk Kris's Avatar

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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Quote Originally Posted by dallas-dakota View Post
    /de-lurk
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    And Curly, that fic was amazing!

    /lurk
    Aw, it'll be OK, dear.
    *cuddles*

    Quote Originally Posted by Mordokai
    Taking vacations?
    Indeed. Hopefully I'll come back with a tan.

    Haven't read GW's fic yet - comments pending.
    Wow, my friend. Just...wow.
    Serious, funny, serious - perfection!
    And you gave me something new and unexpected to delve into with Brandelle - bravo!
    Last edited by Dirk Kris; 2008-12-11 at 10:24 AM.
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    Dirky by Beans!
    Officially putting in for an extended leave of absence.

  23. - Top - End - #1313
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Thufir's Avatar

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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Hilarious, GW. And Behold! I've written something already!

    Letter
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    I exist only to make you smile. You thought I was joking, but I would never lie to you, and I meant every word. Whenever you felt down or lonely, within an hour I would arrive on your doorstep with books, CDs, DVDs… whatever I had which you would appreciate. And you were always so pleased. Though to so many I’ve been so forgettable, you always appreciated that I would do so much for you, though you would never ask it of me.

    Then, one day, the beauty was shattered. I came upon you as usual… and you barely acknowledged me. All the time I tried so hard, and all the time you frowned. Forlorn, I wouldn’t leave until you sent me away forcefully.
    I exist only to make you smile. So answer me this: If I cannot make you smile any more, then why do I still exist? Why am I still here? What reason is there for me to continue?

    I don’t know. Do you? Do you care enough about me to give me the answers?
    "'But there's still such a lot to be done...'
    YES. THERE ALWAYS IS."

  24. - Top - End - #1314
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Quote Originally Posted by Dirk Kris View Post
    Indeed. Hopefully I'll come back with a tan.
    And some new ideas for fics as well

    Have fun, whenever you're going!
    Adrie, half elven bard. Drawing by Vulion, avatar by CheesePirate. Colored version by Callos_DeTerran. Thanks a lot, you guys.
    This place is not a place of honor…no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here… nothing valued is here.
    "There will come a day so dark you will pray for death. On that day your prayers will be answered."
    Book of shadows, book of night, wake the beast and banish light.

  25. - Top - End - #1315
    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Quote Originally Posted by ghost_warlock View Post
    Okay, finally done. And you know how I said I wasn't going to do any more massive segments for this arc? Yeah, well, I guess I lied!

    Anyway, I had some trouble working through a couple places, hopefully it won't be too obvious. I hope ya'll enjoy it. Hopefully, the formatting isn't in need of too many touch-ups as I'll have to do them later.

    Ghost Warlock and the (Un)Holy Grail, Part Six
    Brandelle (Dirk Kris)/Cobra_Ikari/CurlyKitGirl/Dragonrider/ghost_warlock/Happyturtle/Mordokai/???/??? (surprise character introductions ) (Gezina mentioned)
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    Once Turtle was seated, Ghost turned to Brandelle.

    “Now, I suppose I should begin with introductions. I am the Ghost Warlock and this,” he indicated Turtle, “is Happyturtle. You may call us Ghost and Turtle for short. I assume you already know the precious paladin, Mordokai. Now, who are you?” He glared fiercely at Brandelle.

    Brandelle glanced at Mordokai for encouragement. “Um…I’m nobody. I’m Brandelle. I’m just a…I mean I was a barmaid. Mordokai saved me.”

    “I was unaware the life of a barmaid was one that required salvation from.”

    “No! I mean, my master, he…”

    “He was scum.” Mordokai asserted.

    “Ah. Just as well, then.”

    “What are you doing here?” Turtle blurted out, staring at Mordokai.

    “Yes, I was just getting to that,” Ghost sighed.

    “After you healed me, Ghost, I began having visions. I interpreted the dreams to mean the girl I saw in them needed my help. So I sought her out and found Brandelle. Her employer, a waste of a man, was working her as his slave due to a contemptible contract she’d unwittingly signed. I rendered the contract void and took her into my protective custody.”

    Brandelle gave Mordokai’s hand a gentle squeeze. He smiled at her.

    “Right,” Turtle said.

    “How did you summon him, girl?” Ghost asked. “What magic did you use?”

    “I…I didn’t! I didn’t do anything!” She stuttered. “I dreamt of him as well. And then he came for me. I was as shocked as he was!”

    “And you’re fine with that? It doesn’t bother you to know that someone has been fiddling about in your skull, planting images?” Ghost sneered. Secretly, he began concentrating in the back of his mind, activating a power to sense their emotions.

    “I assumed the visions came from Sune, a miracle,” Mordokai said. The paladin’s anger was palpable. Churning within him, Ghost sensed other things as well, stubbornness, pride, all striving feebly against his irrepressible self-assurance; his faith.

    “How can you be sure?” Turtle asked, “And how convenient is it that, right after I hear Rabbit tried to kill you I find you’ve got another girl on your arm. It’s bad enough you and Rabbit go behind my back, secret meetings, but now you’ve got this…this child…who suddenly needs your ‘protection!’ What about me, Mordokai? It wasn’t that long ago that you and I…” she trailed off.

    Ghost gorged on her cascade of emotions like a beggar been handed a pot roast. Rage, fear, jealously, lust, resentment, pity, and countless other feelings lined up like a buffet. Smiling despite himself, Ghost turned to Brandelle.

    “Turtle, I… It’s not like that. We’re not like that… Are we?” Mordokai asked, though Ghost was paying scant attention to him.

    “Mordokai, I…” Brandelle whispered, faintly. But Ghost wasn’t at all interested in what she had to say, focusing his attentions on what she was feeling.

    But she was a blind spot, a void in his field of detection. He could sense nothing from her. He sucked in his breath, shocked.

    Ghost stood suddenly, knocking over his chair. He grabbed at her, snatched at the collar of her dress, dragging her to her feet. He twisted the fabric at her throat cruelly. “Who are you, girl?” he demanded. “What are you? What is your game, here?”

    Mordokai leapt to his feet, grabbing at Ghost and striving to pull him off of her. “Hey! Release her, fiend!”

    “Wha...?” Turtle muttered, sliding in her chair away from the table, shocked at the sudden display.

    “You’re a fool, paladin,” Ghost hissed. “You have no idea what it is you travel with! You are blinded by your faith and see only innocence where gods alone know what…thing…lurks behind this fragile mask!”

    “Ghost! Enough!” Mordokai shouted, reaching for his sword.

    “As you would have it,” Ghost released Brandelle and she sunk, coughing, back into her chair. “Mark my words; this creature is no mere servant girl. Your fate is in your own hands, paladin.”

    Ghost stormed out the tavern door and into the streets, leaving Mordokai to comfort the now-crying girl.

    ‘Alone again, at last,’ Ghost thought to himself as he stalked towards the keep. ‘Just as well, the fool paladin would only try to stop me if he knew my objective.’

    “What was that all about?” Ghost started at the sound of the voice behind him.

    “Turtle? You’re not going to stay with your lover boy back there?” He asked.

    [COLOR="YellowGreen“Mordokai? Oh, hells no. Watch him fawn all over that child? No thank you! I’d rather die.”[/COLOR]

    Ghost smirked. “You may be in good company for that, if you continue to travel with me.”

    She smiled back. “Yes, I actually noticed that about you.”

    “You love him, staying there would kill you just the same, inside,” Ghost stated. “What is it about that paladin?”

    “He…He’s confident?” Turtle considered. “Usually considerate? Tender? He’s the knight in shining armor almost every girl dreams will one day sweep her off her feet. He may not be a prince, but he’s a dead ringer. He’s a real man.”

    Ghost laughed. “As opposed to all of us fake ones!”

    She sighed. “That’s not what I meant.”

    “Save it. It’s not really any of my concern. The ways and wiles and whispered sweetness of love are all in the past for me.”

    “You don’t think you’ll find someone, yet?”

    He stopped and fixed her with a stare. “I…had a love once. A love so deep and full it was worth dying for. And so I did. I’m now only waiting for my mind to realize that my heart stopped years ago. In the meantime, I fill time with my objective: to seek the Grail. And I’m very close, now. I will not fail.”

    “Single minded, much?”

    “Quite,” He proceeded towards the keep.

    Meanwhile, in the keep, Dragonrider had been working her soldiers hard throughout the day. When a number of them found her in the banquet hall, asleep on the floor, they thought best not to wake her. Instead, they took inspiration from the drunkard in the dungeon and more closely inspected the goods in the larder. They were pleasantly surprised by the quality of the drink yet stored there. Laughing at their good fortune, they climbed up upon the battlements to enjoy the drink with only a small chance of being discovered by Dragonrider or the other lancers.

    By the time Ghost and Happyturtle approached the keep, their brains were already buzzing nicely as a result of the drink. When they heard Ghost shouting up at them, the staggered to their feet and looked down at him from the keep walls.

    “Allo! Who is zis?” One of the lancers replied to Ghost’s calls.

    “I am the Ghost Warlock and this is my companion, Happyturtle. Who’s keep is this?”

    “This is the castle of our master, Dragon...de…lu…la…Rider!” the toasted guard replied.

    Ghost considered the obviously drunken guard and decided to try his luck at getting into the keep peacefully. “Go and tell your master that we have been charged by the gods with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night he can join us in our quest for the Unholy Grail.”

    “Well,” the guard replied, “I'll ask her, but I don't think she'll be very keen... Uh, she's already got one, you see?”

    Ghost sneered. “What? Are you sure she’s got one?”

    “Oh, yes, it’s very nice!” The guard turned to the other lancers and snickered. “I told him we’ve already got one!”

    Ghost and Turtle glanced at each other, hearing the roaring laughter from up on the battlements.

    “Well, can we come up and have a look?” Ghost tried.

    “Of course not!” the guard shouted back. “You are Bulgarian types!”

    “Well, what are you then?” Ghost asked.

    “I'm Byzantine! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly person!”

    “What are you doing in Bulgaria?” Turtle asked.

    “Mind your own business!” the guard shouted back.

    “If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!” Ghost warned.

    [COLOR="Magenta"]You don't frighten us, Bulgarian pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Ghost-man, you and all your silly Bulgarian kaniggets,” the guard stuck out his tongue.

    “What a strange person.” Turtle said.

    “Now look here,” Ghost began.

    “I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough whopper! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of eldeberries.” The guard shouted back.

    “Is there someone else up there we could talk to?” Turtle tried.

    “No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!”

    “Now, this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable,” Ghost shouted.

    “How you Bulgarians say, I one more time unclog my nose in your direction, sons of a window-dresser! So, you think you could out-clever us Byzantine folk with your silly knees-bent running about advancing behavior! I wave my private parts at your aunties, you heaving lot of second-hand electric donkey bottom biters,” the guard replied.

    As the guard continued to prattle on, Ghost sighed and turned to Turtle. “I don’t suppose you can fly?”

    “Um, no, not exactly,” she replied.

    “Well, I’ve had enough of this. I’m going up there. You think you can find a way inside?”

    “Um, yes. They’ve reinforced the gates but it’s nothing I can’t get through.”

    Ghost looked at her quizzically for a moment, then shrugged. “See you inside.”

    With that, he teleported up onto the battlements. The Byzantine lancers slowly turned to look at him.

    Turtle ran around the side of the keep, up a short flight of stone steps to a wooden side door. Summoning all her strength, she began to wail on the door with her fists. “Mordokai” she said between blows, “This. Is. Because. Of. That. Stupid. Girl!”

    The door shuddered with each blow and eventually splintered and caved in. She ran inside and, knowing she only had a few moments before guards arrived, began summoning her hechpixies.

    Meanwhile, on the battlements, Ghost considered the lancers slowly trying to surround him.

    “You fools really have no idea who you’re dealing with, do you?” Ghost chided.

    The sudden seriousness of the situation seemed to have a mildly sobering effect on the guards. “So you think your fancy magic tricks can scare us? You’re not fooling anyone! I burst my pimples at you and call your daughter an unrequested silly thing. You tiny-brained wiper of other people's bottoms!”

    “What are you Byzantines doing here in a Bulgarian fort?” Ghost asked.

    “This is no Bulgarian fortress, you illegitimate faced buggerful!” the guard replied. “This is Adrianople, this keep belongs to Byzantium, now. Daffy Bulgarian Warlock-boy, who is afraid of a duck, you know!”

    “Oh, no. I remember quite clearly that…This! Is! Bulgaria!” With a savage kick to the chest, Ghost sent the drunken guard tumbling over the battlement wall.

    Down in the keep, Turtle and her henchpixies were making short work of the guards there. After only a few moments of combat, Turtle and her pixies faced off against a single remaining guard.

    Outnumbered and obviously outclassed, the guard considered his situation for a moment and threw down his weapon. “Many apologies to my Empress for perhaps dishonoring her, but I surrender. This is no way to die, being beaten to death by fairies.”

    Up on the battlements, Ghost smiled as he looked around at the charred bodies of the guards he’d become so annoyed with moments ago. They hadn’t put up much of a fight, being to drunk to properly wield their weapons. Almost a pity, really; he’d hoped they’d be more of a challenge. He scooped up a jug of the stuff they’d been drinking and hurled it out over the battlements. Pausing for a moment before heading down, he decided to pick up a sword from one of the bodies. The pommel was still warm from the flames, but not uncomfortably so.

    Climbing down the stairs from the battlements, he roamed around the keep looking for signs of life. Shortly after coming down into the keep, he happened upon Dragonrider, sleeping in the banquet hall.

    Entering the room, he cleared his throat loudly.

    She started awake and looked around, then at him. Not recognizing him, she scrambled to her feet. “Who are you?”

    “I assure you, I’m an enemy.” He smiled and, using his powers, enjoyed a taste of her surprise and fear, as well as a hint of…longing for someone? “Oh, if it’ll make you feel better, go ahead and arm yourself. It won’t matter anyway, but it might make this more fun for me. Your boys upstairs hardly put up a fight at all.”

    Back downstairs, Turtle eyed the surrendering guard suspiciously. “What? Just like that?”

    “Yes, miss,” he replied. “My mother could never bear the news that I’d been killed by pixies.”

    “And she’d be fine with you just giving up like this?”

    The guard shrugged. “She told me, ‘don’t you go getting killed before you get me grandbabies,’ miss.”

    “So, really, you’re just afraid of your mom,” Turtle noted.

    “Well, her and my three aunties what passed away in the last few years. Mom says they’re in the next life, waiting for nieces and nephews and if I don’t deliver…”

    Turtle snickered despite herself. “Sounds…sensible.”

    “I try, miss,”

    “Stop calling me miss. My name is Turtle.”

    “Yes, mi…er…Turtle,” he caught himself.

    “What’s your name, soldier?”

    “Reinholdt, mi…Turtle,” he caught himself again.

    “Well, Reinholdt, my friend is upstairs probably finishing off the last of your allies. He could be here any moment and I’m not sure he’ll be as merciful. Quickly, did you and the other guards here capture an armored man earlier today?”

    “You mean that insane paladin, Mordokai? Yes, we tossed him in the dungeon until our commander told us to move him somewhere else.”

    “Where did you bring him?”

    “We brought him to one of the towers. Last I saw him, he was singing a song about how he wanted to marry a girl with ‘a certain…special…’ and then he’d get all upset when everyone started ignoring him instead of stopping his song. He said something about it being his favorite part of the movie.”

    Turtle giggled. “That’s him all right. Bring me to him.”

    “As you wish,” he said and started walking. Then, he paused and considered for a moment. “Turtle?”

    “Yes, Reinholdt?”

    “Thank you for sparing me death at the hands of pixies. I want you to know that I think you’re nice for doing so. Also,” he said sheepishly, “You’re very pretty.”

    Turtle found herself blushing as he led her to Cobra/‘Mordokai.’

    In the banquet hall, Ghost concentrated briefly to activate a few of his talents as he and Dragonrider circled each other, looking for openings. Her mind raced as she studied him, watching him seem to anticipate her every move. He appeared to be armed only with a short sword, one obviously taken from one of her men, and he didn’t appear to be wearing armor. He enjoyed her growing concern as she realized he was probably some sort of mystic and probably didn’t need armor to protect himself.

    “You’re not thinking about surrendering, are you, girl? Not that it’d matter if you did. I’d probably just make things worse for you,” he taunted.

    “Villain!”

    “Says the girl apparently leading a group of men to invade my homeland.”

    “This land belongs to Empress Curly, to Byzantium. You cowards stole it years ago but we’ll reclaim it!” she shouted, trying to work up some confidence.

    “Foolish girl, don’t you know that, if Curly’s mother hadn’t been such an ambitious idiot, there needn’t have been a war then, just as there wouldn’t need to be one now! Curly is fooling herself if she ever thinks she’ll rule Bulgarian land now.” He snarled and leapt at her, thrusting the short sword wildly at her midsection.

    She easily deflected the clumsy blow, only to realize too late that it was a feint. He smashed his left fist upside her head, dizzying her for a moment. He batted her sword away, sending it skittering across the room.

    “Your precious Empress is overstepping her bounds, trying to claim something that would have been rightfully hers only if her mother hadn’t snatched it away. She’s a child who needs to be taught to respect the treaties of her forebears.” He wrapped an arm behind her, dropped his sword, and grabbed her by the throat. He began choking her.

    Dragonrider struggled and tried to draw her dagger from its sheath at her waist.

    He released her throat and grabbed her wrist, shook the dagger out of her hand.

    Scooping her up, he tossed her onto one of the tables. Stunned by the impact, she could do nothing as he pinned her. His hand wrapped around her throat again. She closed her eyes and waited for oblivion.

    But his grip about her neck didn’t tighten. “Listen, child, I’ve no wish to kill you now. Instead, I want you to do something for me. I can sense you’ve got someone waiting for you, someone you yearn to be with again. If you ever want to see them again, you’ll do as I say.”

    Hearing his words, all of her thoughts went to Dallas. She imagined the look on his face if he discovered she’d been killed like this. “What do you want?”

    “I merely ask that you deliver a message back to your Empress Curly. Tell her what I’ve told you here, that she should abandon her foolish quest to claim land rightfully belonging to Bulgaria. And, I want you to show her something.”

    From a pocket, he produced a dark, heavy-looking ring. He slipped it onto a finger with practiced ease. Confused, she stared at him. As he watched her, she noticed the ring starting to glow, first darkly red and then brightly. She could feel heat emanating from it as he brought it towards her face.

    “No! Please!” she pleaded.

    With a sharp breath, he blew long strands of her hair aside and pressed the ring against her neck, burning its signature into her flesh, branding her.

    She flinched and screamed in pain, but he kept his arm steady and the ring pressed firmly to her skin.

    And then he released her, stepped away. Her hands flew to her neck and she sobbed in agony. He tossed her his wineskin. “Here, this will soothe the pain a little.”

    She poured the contents on the burn and the cool water did help some.

    “You bastard,” she said.

    “Nevermind that, just do as I ask and maybe you’ll get to see your beloved again,” he slipped the ring, now cool again, back into his pocket.

    “Who are you?” she asked again.

    “I am the Ghost Warlock. If you want to know more than that, you’ll have to ask your Empress after you show her that mark. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have other matters to attend to,” he headed for the door, but paused.

    “Oh, I have friends that may be by here any moment. They may not take kindly to finding you. I’d suggest you make yourself scarce.”

    “What, I’m supposed to hide?”

    “That, or I can hurl you over the battlement wall like I did one of your lancers.”

    Muttering a curse word, she slunk off to the kitchens, hoping to find a safe place there.

    After she’d left the room, Ghost sighed and shook his head. “Poor kid.”

    He headed downstairs, looking for the vault.

    Upstairs, in the tower, Turtle waited for Reinholdt to unlock the door to ‘Mordokai’/Cobra’s improvised prison.

    “Oh!” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra said as they entered his chamber. He stood by the window, a long chain of tied-together bedding hanging out. “This isn’t what it looks like, honest! I promise wasn’t trying to escape!”

    “Relax…er…’Mordokai,’” Turtle said. “I’m here to rescue you.”

    “If you weren’t trying to escape…Nevermind, I don’t want to know.” Reinholdt said.

    “Oh, hey, it’s you!” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra said, recognizing Reinholdt. “How’s it going?”

    “Um. Fine? Considering I’ve been taken captive,” Reinholdt replied.

    “Well, that’s probably just as well,” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra said. “Not much chance giving your mom and aunties those grandbabies if you’re dead. And Turtle, here, will be a wonderful mom. You’ll both be very happy.”

    “Wha…?” Turtle said, looking back and forth from Cobra to Reinholdt. “Are you suggesting we…?”

    Reinholdt smiled meekly at her. “I’ve never been seduced by predeterminism before.”

    “‘Mordokai,’ are you messing around with us?” Turtle asked, feeling blush coming on.

    “Could be, Turtle, could be. I try to have a sense of humor about these things.” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra said, beaming. “Well, what’s next?”

    “What do you mean?” Reinholdt asked.

    “Well, Ghost should be claiming the Grail about now. And then he kind of abandons us here. So it’s really up to us what we want to do next.

    “You mean after all of this, everything we went through with him, he just…Nah, I can’t really act surprised,” Turtle admitted.

    “Ghost? Who’s that?” Reinholdt asked.

    “Oh, he’s the anti-villain of this arc,” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra answered. “He’s been on quest to find the Unholy Grail for weeks now. Should be claiming it as we speak and then heading for Preslav to bring it to his friend. He’s helping her become a god, you see.”

    “Does that work?” Reinholdt asked.

    “Now, now. Can’t give away the ending.” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra said, still smiling.

    “You really are a terrible oracle. And I think you’re getting worse.” Turtle sighed.

    “Worse? Or better!” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra replied, then laughed.

    Turtle shook her head and thought for a moment. “You know, Cobra, I’ve still got a bit of time left for my vacation. Do you mind if we just go back to Castle Anthrax and relax a bit?”

    “Well, we’ve got a little while before we have to worry about the ‘save the paladin, save the world’ thing again since…I’m…safe with you two. Oh, hey, sure! C’mon over! Have you ever seen a catmuffin before, Reinholdt? They’re adorable and ferocious!”

    “Catmuffin?” Reinholdt asked. “Wait, aren’t you going to turn me in to your superiors, the watch or something?”

    “What, you mean like the army? Ugh, why on earth would we do that? They’d ask all sorts of silly questions and who knows what they’d do with you. Nah, I say we just stick together for now,” Turtle replied.

    “Does…does that mean you like me?” Reinholdt asked.

    “…” Turtle paused, silently cursing herself as she felt the blush spreading across her cheeks. “Maybe…”

    “D’awwww!” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra said.

    “Quiet, you!” Turtle replied.

    Outside the keep, Ghost inspected the Unholy Grail in the afternoon sun. Holding it, he could feel its power radiating though his hand and into his arm. Slipping it into his belt, he started heading north, towards Preslav. Ina was waiting for him, waiting for this powerful gift.

    Hours later, under cover of twilight, Dragonrider crawled out of the kitchen cabinet she’d hidden herself in. She rubbed the kink out of her neck angrily, and then winced in pain as she accidentally touched the burn Ghost had left her.

    “All that time hiding in a cupboard and it doesn’t look like anyone was even looking for me.”

    Stepping out of the kitchen, she could hear some faint shouting coming from one of the passages outside the banquet hall. Following the sound of the voice, she made her way down into the dungeons.

    “Of course! That drunk we locked up,” she whispered.

    “Hello? Can anyone hear me?” The man called through his cell window.

    “Yes, I’m coming,” she growled, hurrying down the stairs. “Shut up.”

    “Oh, sorry. It’s just, well, I’m really thirsty is all.”

    “I’ll bet you are.”

    “How’d I get locked up…oh. You’re not from around here,” he said as she stepped into view of his window. He noted her uniform. “You’re one of the Byzantines!”

    “Brilliant deduction. And you’re my prisoner. What’s your name, soldier?”

    “Um. Rubakhin. Please tell me you’re going to let me out of here.”

    “Yes, I am. And then you’re coming with me back to Constantinople. You’re now a prisoner of war.”

    “Oh,” he said. “Well, then, can I still get a drink?”

    She sighed and started to unlock the cell.

    Over the next few days of their journey back to Byzantium, she discovered that, so long as she kept his ‘drinks’ fairly rationed, he was reasonably pleasant and not too difficult to keep in line. She also managed, in this way, to keep him from drinking himself unconscious again.

    When they finally arrived in Constantinople Rubakhin was taken to the dungeons to wait until he underwent questioning. Dragonrider, however, was immediately ushered in to see Empress Curly.

    “Where are your men? Where is the paladin I sent you after? What do you have to say for yourself, General Dragonrider?” Empress Curly asked, obviously very cross.

    “I’m sorry, Empress. We had the paladin in custody, but then encountered unexpected resistance,” Dragonrider answered, and told the Empress her tale.

    “The Ghost Warlock? I’ve never heard of him. Show me the mark,” Empress Curly commanded.

    Dragonrider stepped forward, bowing respectfully, and pulled back her curls to reveal the brand on her neck.

    Empress Curly studied the mark for a few seconds before realization dawned. “Simeon!?”

    *goes to enjoy a day off*
    I think it was definitely worth the wait!
    I wish TwoBitWriter could get out of that dungeon and join in some more of the action...

    @Thufir: I missed your fic when I was posting this, sorry!
    I liked your letter, I could see the feeling you put into it. Hope that it all turns out okay...
    Last edited by TwoBitWriter; 2008-12-11 at 10:41 AM.

  26. - Top - End - #1316
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Cristo Meyers's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Chicagoland
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Quote Originally Posted by Thufir View Post
    Hilarious, GW. And Behold! I've written something already!

    Letter
    Spoiler
    Show
    I exist only to make you smile. You thought I was joking, but I would never lie to you, and I meant every word. Whenever you felt down or lonely, within an hour I would arrive on your doorstep with books, CDs, DVDs… whatever I had which you would appreciate. And you were always so pleased. Though to so many I’ve been so forgettable, you always appreciated that I would do so much for you, though you would never ask it of me.

    Then, one day, the beauty was shattered. I came upon you as usual… and you barely acknowledged me. All the time I tried so hard, and all the time you frowned. Forlorn, I wouldn’t leave until you sent me away forcefully.
    I exist only to make you smile. So answer me this: If I cannot make you smile any more, then why do I still exist? Why am I still here? What reason is there for me to continue?

    I don’t know. Do you? Do you care enough about me to give me the answers?
    I love it. Very touching, very reminiscent of times gone by...

  27. - Top - End - #1317
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Dragonrider's Avatar

    Join Date
    Dec 2006

    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Quote Originally Posted by ghost_warlock View Post
    Okay, finally done. And you know how I said I wasn't going to do any more massive segments for this arc? Yeah, well, I guess I lied!

    Anyway, I had some trouble working through a couple places, hopefully it won't be too obvious. I hope ya'll enjoy it. Hopefully, the formatting isn't in need of too many touch-ups as I'll have to do them later.

    Ghost Warlock and the (Un)Holy Grail, Part Six
    Brandelle (Dirk Kris)/Cobra_Ikari/CurlyKitGirl/Dragonrider/ghost_warlock/Happyturtle/Mordokai/???/??? (surprise character introductions ) (Gezina mentioned)
    Spoiler
    Show

    Once Turtle was seated, Ghost turned to Brandelle.

    “Now, I suppose I should begin with introductions. I am the Ghost Warlock and this,” he indicated Turtle, “is Happyturtle. You may call us Ghost and Turtle for short. I assume you already know the precious paladin, Mordokai. Now, who are you?” He glared fiercely at Brandelle.

    Brandelle glanced at Mordokai for encouragement. “Um…I’m nobody. I’m Brandelle. I’m just a…I mean I was a barmaid. Mordokai saved me.”

    “I was unaware the life of a barmaid was one that required salvation from.”

    “No! I mean, my master, he…”

    “He was scum.” Mordokai asserted.

    “Ah. Just as well, then.”

    “What are you doing here?” Turtle blurted out, staring at Mordokai.

    “Yes, I was just getting to that,” Ghost sighed.

    “After you healed me, Ghost, I began having visions. I interpreted the dreams to mean the girl I saw in them needed my help. So I sought her out and found Brandelle. Her employer, a waste of a man, was working her as his slave due to a contemptible contract she’d unwittingly signed. I rendered the contract void and took her into my protective custody.”

    Brandelle gave Mordokai’s hand a gentle squeeze. He smiled at her.

    “Right,” Turtle said.

    “How did you summon him, girl?” Ghost asked. “What magic did you use?”

    “I…I didn’t! I didn’t do anything!” She stuttered. “I dreamt of him as well. And then he came for me. I was as shocked as he was!”

    “And you’re fine with that? It doesn’t bother you to know that someone has been fiddling about in your skull, planting images?” Ghost sneered. Secretly, he began concentrating in the back of his mind, activating a power to sense their emotions.

    “I assumed the visions came from Sune, a miracle,” Mordokai said. The paladin’s anger was palpable. Churning within him, Ghost sensed other things as well, stubbornness, pride, all striving feebly against his irrepressible self-assurance; his faith.

    “How can you be sure?” Turtle asked, “And how convenient is it that, right after I hear Rabbit tried to kill you I find you’ve got another girl on your arm. It’s bad enough you and Rabbit go behind my back, secret meetings, but now you’ve got this…this child…who suddenly needs your ‘protection!’ What about me, Mordokai? It wasn’t that long ago that you and I…” she trailed off.

    Ghost gorged on her cascade of emotions like a beggar been handed a pot roast. Rage, fear, jealously, lust, resentment, pity, and countless other feelings lined up like a buffet. Smiling despite himself, Ghost turned to Brandelle.

    “Turtle, I… It’s not like that. We’re not like that… Are we?” Mordokai asked, though Ghost was paying scant attention to him.

    “Mordokai, I…” Brandelle whispered, faintly. But Ghost wasn’t at all interested in what she had to say, focusing his attentions on what she was feeling.

    But she was a blind spot, a void in his field of detection. He could sense nothing from her. He sucked in his breath, shocked.

    Ghost stood suddenly, knocking over his chair. He grabbed at her, snatched at the collar of her dress, dragging her to her feet. He twisted the fabric at her throat cruelly. “Who are you, girl?” he demanded. “What are you? What is your game, here?”

    Mordokai leapt to his feet, grabbing at Ghost and striving to pull him off of her. “Hey! Release her, fiend!”

    “Wha...?” Turtle muttered, sliding in her chair away from the table, shocked at the sudden display.

    “You’re a fool, paladin,” Ghost hissed. “You have no idea what it is you travel with! You are blinded by your faith and see only innocence where gods alone know what…thing…lurks behind this fragile mask!”

    “Ghost! Enough!” Mordokai shouted, reaching for his sword.

    “As you would have it,” Ghost released Brandelle and she sunk, coughing, back into her chair. “Mark my words; this creature is no mere servant girl. Your fate is in your own hands, paladin.”

    Ghost stormed out the tavern door and into the streets, leaving Mordokai to comfort the now-crying girl.

    ‘Alone again, at last,’ Ghost thought to himself as he stalked towards the keep. ‘Just as well, the fool paladin would only try to stop me if he knew my objective.’

    “What was that all about?” Ghost started at the sound of the voice behind him.

    “Turtle? You’re not going to stay with your lover boy back there?” He asked.

    [COLOR="YellowGreen“Mordokai? Oh, hells no. Watch him fawn all over that child? No thank you! I’d rather die.”[/COLOR]

    Ghost smirked. “You may be in good company for that, if you continue to travel with me.”

    She smiled back. “Yes, I actually noticed that about you.”

    “You love him, staying there would kill you just the same, inside,” Ghost stated. “What is it about that paladin?”

    “He…He’s confident?” Turtle considered. “Usually considerate? Tender? He’s the knight in shining armor almost every girl dreams will one day sweep her off her feet. He may not be a prince, but he’s a dead ringer. He’s a real man.”

    Ghost laughed. “As opposed to all of us fake ones!”

    She sighed. “That’s not what I meant.”

    “Save it. It’s not really any of my concern. The ways and wiles and whispered sweetness of love are all in the past for me.”

    “You don’t think you’ll find someone, yet?”

    He stopped and fixed her with a stare. “I…had a love once. A love so deep and full it was worth dying for. And so I did. I’m now only waiting for my mind to realize that my heart stopped years ago. In the meantime, I fill time with my objective: to seek the Grail. And I’m very close, now. I will not fail.”

    “Single minded, much?”

    “Quite,” He proceeded towards the keep.

    Meanwhile, in the keep, Dragonrider had been working her soldiers hard throughout the day. When a number of them found her in the banquet hall, asleep on the floor, they thought best not to wake her. Instead, they took inspiration from the drunkard in the dungeon and more closely inspected the goods in the larder. They were pleasantly surprised by the quality of the drink yet stored there. Laughing at their good fortune, they climbed up upon the battlements to enjoy the drink with only a small chance of being discovered by Dragonrider or the other lancers.

    By the time Ghost and Happyturtle approached the keep, their brains were already buzzing nicely as a result of the drink. When they heard Ghost shouting up at them, the staggered to their feet and looked down at him from the keep walls.

    “Allo! Who is zis?” One of the lancers replied to Ghost’s calls.

    “I am the Ghost Warlock and this is my companion, Happyturtle. Who’s keep is this?”

    “This is the castle of our master, Dragon...de…lu…la…Rider!” the toasted guard replied.

    Ghost considered the obviously drunken guard and decided to try his luck at getting into the keep peacefully. “Go and tell your master that we have been charged by the gods with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night he can join us in our quest for the Unholy Grail.”

    “Well,” the guard replied, “I'll ask her, but I don't think she'll be very keen... Uh, she's already got one, you see?”

    Ghost sneered. “What? Are you sure she’s got one?”

    “Oh, yes, it’s very nice!” The guard turned to the other lancers and snickered. “I told him we’ve already got one!”

    Ghost and Turtle glanced at each other, hearing the roaring laughter from up on the battlements.

    “Well, can we come up and have a look?” Ghost tried.

    “Of course not!” the guard shouted back. “You are Bulgarian types!”

    “Well, what are you then?” Ghost asked.

    “I'm Byzantine! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly person!”

    “What are you doing in Bulgaria?” Turtle asked.

    “Mind your own business!” the guard shouted back.

    “If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!” Ghost warned.

    [COLOR="Magenta"]You don't frighten us, Bulgarian pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Ghost-man, you and all your silly Bulgarian kaniggets,” the guard stuck out his tongue.

    “What a strange person.” Turtle said.

    “Now look here,” Ghost began.

    “I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough whopper! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of eldeberries.” The guard shouted back.

    “Is there someone else up there we could talk to?” Turtle tried.

    “No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!”

    “Now, this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable,” Ghost shouted.

    “How you Bulgarians say, I one more time unclog my nose in your direction, sons of a window-dresser! So, you think you could out-clever us Byzantine folk with your silly knees-bent running about advancing behavior! I wave my private parts at your aunties, you heaving lot of second-hand electric donkey bottom biters,” the guard replied.

    As the guard continued to prattle on, Ghost sighed and turned to Turtle. “I don’t suppose you can fly?”

    “Um, no, not exactly,” she replied.

    “Well, I’ve had enough of this. I’m going up there. You think you can find a way inside?”

    “Um, yes. They’ve reinforced the gates but it’s nothing I can’t get through.”

    Ghost looked at her quizzically for a moment, then shrugged. “See you inside.”

    With that, he teleported up onto the battlements. The Byzantine lancers slowly turned to look at him.

    Turtle ran around the side of the keep, up a short flight of stone steps to a wooden side door. Summoning all her strength, she began to wail on the door with her fists. “Mordokai” she said between blows, “This. Is. Because. Of. That. Stupid. Girl!”

    The door shuddered with each blow and eventually splintered and caved in. She ran inside and, knowing she only had a few moments before guards arrived, began summoning her hechpixies.

    Meanwhile, on the battlements, Ghost considered the lancers slowly trying to surround him.

    “You fools really have no idea who you’re dealing with, do you?” Ghost chided.

    The sudden seriousness of the situation seemed to have a mildly sobering effect on the guards. “So you think your fancy magic tricks can scare us? You’re not fooling anyone! I burst my pimples at you and call your daughter an unrequested silly thing. You tiny-brained wiper of other people's bottoms!”

    “What are you Byzantines doing here in a Bulgarian fort?” Ghost asked.

    “This is no Bulgarian fortress, you illegitimate faced buggerful!” the guard replied. “This is Adrianople, this keep belongs to Byzantium, now. Daffy Bulgarian Warlock-boy, who is afraid of a duck, you know!”

    “Oh, no. I remember quite clearly that…This! Is! Bulgaria!” With a savage kick to the chest, Ghost sent the drunken guard tumbling over the battlement wall.

    Down in the keep, Turtle and her henchpixies were making short work of the guards there. After only a few moments of combat, Turtle and her pixies faced off against a single remaining guard.

    Outnumbered and obviously outclassed, the guard considered his situation for a moment and threw down his weapon. “Many apologies to my Empress for perhaps dishonoring her, but I surrender. This is no way to die, being beaten to death by fairies.”

    Up on the battlements, Ghost smiled as he looked around at the charred bodies of the guards he’d become so annoyed with moments ago. They hadn’t put up much of a fight, being to drunk to properly wield their weapons. Almost a pity, really; he’d hoped they’d be more of a challenge. He scooped up a jug of the stuff they’d been drinking and hurled it out over the battlements. Pausing for a moment before heading down, he decided to pick up a sword from one of the bodies. The pommel was still warm from the flames, but not uncomfortably so.

    Climbing down the stairs from the battlements, he roamed around the keep looking for signs of life. Shortly after coming down into the keep, he happened upon Dragonrider, sleeping in the banquet hall.

    Entering the room, he cleared his throat loudly.

    She started awake and looked around, then at him. Not recognizing him, she scrambled to her feet. “Who are you?”

    “I assure you, I’m an enemy.” He smiled and, using his powers, enjoyed a taste of her surprise and fear, as well as a hint of…longing for someone? “Oh, if it’ll make you feel better, go ahead and arm yourself. It won’t matter anyway, but it might make this more fun for me. Your boys upstairs hardly put up a fight at all.”

    Back downstairs, Turtle eyed the surrendering guard suspiciously. “What? Just like that?”

    “Yes, miss,” he replied. “My mother could never bear the news that I’d been killed by pixies.”

    “And she’d be fine with you just giving up like this?”

    The guard shrugged. “She told me, ‘don’t you go getting killed before you get me grandbabies,’ miss.”

    “So, really, you’re just afraid of your mom,” Turtle noted.

    “Well, her and my three aunties what passed away in the last few years. Mom says they’re in the next life, waiting for nieces and nephews and if I don’t deliver…”

    Turtle snickered despite herself. “Sounds…sensible.”

    “I try, miss,”

    “Stop calling me miss. My name is Turtle.”

    “Yes, mi…er…Turtle,” he caught himself.

    “What’s your name, soldier?”

    “Reinholdt, mi…Turtle,” he caught himself again.

    “Well, Reinholdt, my friend is upstairs probably finishing off the last of your allies. He could be here any moment and I’m not sure he’ll be as merciful. Quickly, did you and the other guards here capture an armored man earlier today?”

    “You mean that insane paladin, Mordokai? Yes, we tossed him in the dungeon until our commander told us to move him somewhere else.”

    “Where did you bring him?”

    “We brought him to one of the towers. Last I saw him, he was singing a song about how he wanted to marry a girl with ‘a certain…special…’ and then he’d get all upset when everyone started ignoring him instead of stopping his song. He said something about it being his favorite part of the movie.”

    Turtle giggled. “That’s him all right. Bring me to him.”

    “As you wish,” he said and started walking. Then, he paused and considered for a moment. “Turtle?”

    “Yes, Reinholdt?”

    “Thank you for sparing me death at the hands of pixies. I want you to know that I think you’re nice for doing so. Also,” he said sheepishly, “You’re very pretty.”

    Turtle found herself blushing as he led her to Cobra/‘Mordokai.’

    In the banquet hall, Ghost concentrated briefly to activate a few of his talents as he and Dragonrider circled each other, looking for openings. Her mind raced as she studied him, watching him seem to anticipate her every move. He appeared to be armed only with a short sword, one obviously taken from one of her men, and he didn’t appear to be wearing armor. He enjoyed her growing concern as she realized he was probably some sort of mystic and probably didn’t need armor to protect himself.

    “You’re not thinking about surrendering, are you, girl? Not that it’d matter if you did. I’d probably just make things worse for you,” he taunted.

    “Villain!”

    “Says the girl apparently leading a group of men to invade my homeland.”

    “This land belongs to Empress Curly, to Byzantium. You cowards stole it years ago but we’ll reclaim it!” she shouted, trying to work up some confidence.

    “Foolish girl, don’t you know that, if Curly’s mother hadn’t been such an ambitious idiot, there needn’t have been a war then, just as there wouldn’t need to be one now! Curly is fooling herself if she ever thinks she’ll rule Bulgarian land now.” He snarled and leapt at her, thrusting the short sword wildly at her midsection.

    She easily deflected the clumsy blow, only to realize too late that it was a feint. He smashed his left fist upside her head, dizzying her for a moment. He batted her sword away, sending it skittering across the room.

    “Your precious Empress is overstepping her bounds, trying to claim something that would have been rightfully hers only if her mother hadn’t snatched it away. She’s a child who needs to be taught to respect the treaties of her forebears.” He wrapped an arm behind her, dropped his sword, and grabbed her by the throat. He began choking her.

    Dragonrider struggled and tried to draw her dagger from its sheath at her waist.

    He released her throat and grabbed her wrist, shook the dagger out of her hand.

    Scooping her up, he tossed her onto one of the tables. Stunned by the impact, she could do nothing as he pinned her. His hand wrapped around her throat again. She closed her eyes and waited for oblivion.

    But his grip about her neck didn’t tighten. “Listen, child, I’ve no wish to kill you now. Instead, I want you to do something for me. I can sense you’ve got someone waiting for you, someone you yearn to be with again. If you ever want to see them again, you’ll do as I say.”

    Hearing his words, all of her thoughts went to Dallas. She imagined the look on his face if he discovered she’d been killed like this. “What do you want?”

    “I merely ask that you deliver a message back to your Empress Curly. Tell her what I’ve told you here, that she should abandon her foolish quest to claim land rightfully belonging to Bulgaria. And, I want you to show her something.”

    From a pocket, he produced a dark, heavy-looking ring. He slipped it onto a finger with practiced ease. Confused, she stared at him. As he watched her, she noticed the ring starting to glow, first darkly red and then brightly. She could feel heat emanating from it as he brought it towards her face.

    “No! Please!” she pleaded.

    With a sharp breath, he blew long strands of her hair aside and pressed the ring against her neck, burning its signature into her flesh, branding her.

    She flinched and screamed in pain, but he kept his arm steady and the ring pressed firmly to her skin.

    And then he released her, stepped away. Her hands flew to her neck and she sobbed in agony. He tossed her his wineskin. “Here, this will soothe the pain a little.”

    She poured the contents on the burn and the cool water did help some.

    “You bastard,” she said.

    “Nevermind that, just do as I ask and maybe you’ll get to see your beloved again,” he slipped the ring, now cool again, back into his pocket.

    “Who are you?” she asked again.

    “I am the Ghost Warlock. If you want to know more than that, you’ll have to ask your Empress after you show her that mark. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have other matters to attend to,” he headed for the door, but paused.

    “Oh, I have friends that may be by here any moment. They may not take kindly to finding you. I’d suggest you make yourself scarce.”

    “What, I’m supposed to hide?”

    “That, or I can hurl you over the battlement wall like I did one of your lancers.”

    Muttering a curse word, she slunk off to the kitchens, hoping to find a safe place there.

    After she’d left the room, Ghost sighed and shook his head. “Poor kid.”

    He headed downstairs, looking for the vault.

    Upstairs, in the tower, Turtle waited for Reinholdt to unlock the door to ‘Mordokai’/Cobra’s improvised prison.

    “Oh!” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra said as they entered his chamber. He stood by the window, a long chain of tied-together bedding hanging out. “This isn’t what it looks like, honest! I promise wasn’t trying to escape!”

    “Relax…er…’Mordokai,’” Turtle said. “I’m here to rescue you.”

    “If you weren’t trying to escape…Nevermind, I don’t want to know.” Reinholdt said.

    “Oh, hey, it’s you!” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra said, recognizing Reinholdt. “How’s it going?”

    “Um. Fine? Considering I’ve been taken captive,” Reinholdt replied.

    “Well, that’s probably just as well,” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra said. “Not much chance giving your mom and aunties those grandbabies if you’re dead. And Turtle, here, will be a wonderful mom. You’ll both be very happy.”

    “Wha…?” Turtle said, looking back and forth from Cobra to Reinholdt. “Are you suggesting we…?”

    Reinholdt smiled meekly at her. “I’ve never been seduced by predeterminism before.”

    “‘Mordokai,’ are you messing around with us?” Turtle asked, feeling blush coming on.

    “Could be, Turtle, could be. I try to have a sense of humor about these things.” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra said, beaming. “Well, what’s next?”

    “What do you mean?” Reinholdt asked.

    “Well, Ghost should be claiming the Grail about now. And then he kind of abandons us here. So it’s really up to us what we want to do next.

    “You mean after all of this, everything we went through with him, he just…Nah, I can’t really act surprised,” Turtle admitted.

    “Ghost? Who’s that?” Reinholdt asked.

    “Oh, he’s the anti-villain of this arc,” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra answered. “He’s been on quest to find the Unholy Grail for weeks now. Should be claiming it as we speak and then heading for Preslav to bring it to his friend. He’s helping her become a god, you see.”

    “Does that work?” Reinholdt asked.

    “Now, now. Can’t give away the ending.” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra said, still smiling.

    “You really are a terrible oracle. And I think you’re getting worse.” Turtle sighed.

    “Worse? Or better!” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra replied, then laughed.

    Turtle shook her head and thought for a moment. “You know, Cobra, I’ve still got a bit of time left for my vacation. Do you mind if we just go back to Castle Anthrax and relax a bit?”

    “Well, we’ve got a little while before we have to worry about the ‘save the paladin, save the world’ thing again since…I’m…safe with you two. Oh, hey, sure! C’mon over! Have you ever seen a catmuffin before, Reinholdt? They’re adorable and ferocious!”

    “Catmuffin?” Reinholdt asked. “Wait, aren’t you going to turn me in to your superiors, the watch or something?”

    “What, you mean like the army? Ugh, why on earth would we do that? They’d ask all sorts of silly questions and who knows what they’d do with you. Nah, I say we just stick together for now,” Turtle replied.

    “Does…does that mean you like me?” Reinholdt asked.

    “…” Turtle paused, silently cursing herself as she felt the blush spreading across her cheeks. “Maybe…”

    “D’awwww!” ‘Mordokai’/Cobra said.

    “Quiet, you!” Turtle replied.

    Outside the keep, Ghost inspected the Unholy Grail in the afternoon sun. Holding it, he could feel its power radiating though his hand and into his arm. Slipping it into his belt, he started heading north, towards Preslav. Ina was waiting for him, waiting for this powerful gift.

    Hours later, under cover of twilight, Dragonrider crawled out of the kitchen cabinet she’d hidden herself in. She rubbed the kink out of her neck angrily, and then winced in pain as she accidentally touched the burn Ghost had left her.

    “All that time hiding in a cupboard and it doesn’t look like anyone was even looking for me.”

    Stepping out of the kitchen, she could hear some faint shouting coming from one of the passages outside the banquet hall. Following the sound of the voice, she made her way down into the dungeons.

    “Of course! That drunk we locked up,” she whispered.

    “Hello? Can anyone hear me?” The man called through his cell window.

    “Yes, I’m coming,” she growled, hurrying down the stairs. “Shut up.”

    “Oh, sorry. It’s just, well, I’m really thirsty is all.”

    “I’ll bet you are.”

    “How’d I get locked up…oh. You’re not from around here,” he said as she stepped into view of his window. He noted her uniform. “You’re one of the Byzantines!”

    “Brilliant deduction. And you’re my prisoner. What’s your name, soldier?”

    “Um. Rubakhin. Please tell me you’re going to let me out of here.”

    “Yes, I am. And then you’re coming with me back to Constantinople. You’re now a prisoner of war.”

    “Oh,” he said. “Well, then, can I still get a drink?”

    She sighed and started to unlock the cell.

    Over the next few days of their journey back to Byzantium, she discovered that, so long as she kept his ‘drinks’ fairly rationed, he was reasonably pleasant and not too difficult to keep in line. She also managed, in this way, to keep him from drinking himself unconscious again.

    When they finally arrived in Constantinople Rubakhin was taken to the dungeons to wait until he underwent questioning. Dragonrider, however, was immediately ushered in to see Empress Curly.

    “Where are your men? Where is the paladin I sent you after? What do you have to say for yourself, General Dragonrider?” Empress Curly asked, obviously very cross.

    “I’m sorry, Empress. We had the paladin in custody, but then encountered unexpected resistance,” Dragonrider answered, and told the Empress her tale.

    “The Ghost Warlock? I’ve never heard of him. Show me the mark,” Empress Curly commanded.

    Dragonrider stepped forward, bowing respectfully, and pulled back her curls to reveal the brand on her neck.

    Empress Curly studied the mark for a few seconds before realization dawned. “Simeon!?”

    *goes to enjoy a day off*


    Thoughts:

    1) I did a bad job training my soldiers.
    2)It's coming together! A li'l!

    Quote Originally Posted by Thufir View Post
    Hilarious, GW. And Behold! I've written something already!

    Letter
    Spoiler
    Show
    I exist only to make you smile. You thought I was joking, but I would never lie to you, and I meant every word. Whenever you felt down or lonely, within an hour I would arrive on your doorstep with books, CDs, DVDs… whatever I had which you would appreciate. And you were always so pleased. Though to so many I’ve been so forgettable, you always appreciated that I would do so much for you, though you would never ask it of me.

    Then, one day, the beauty was shattered. I came upon you as usual… and you barely acknowledged me. All the time I tried so hard, and all the time you frowned. Forlorn, I wouldn’t leave until you sent me away forcefully.
    I exist only to make you smile. So answer me this: If I cannot make you smile any more, then why do I still exist? Why am I still here? What reason is there for me to continue?

    I don’t know. Do you? Do you care enough about me to give me the answers?
    I know a little bit about being in that kind of a situation. It sucks. If it's based on a real life situation you're in, here's to hoping you get through it...

  28. - Top - End - #1318
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Wow, to tell the truth, I didn't expect that many people to want to die. Still, you guys are all going to like it.

    And the list is:

    DS7
    Reinholdt
    FF Fanboy
    Lex-Kat
    Felixaar
    Rubakhin
    Ghost_Warlock
    TwoBitWriter
    Dirk Kris
    Recaiden
    Mordokai
    Any other takers? In this one, the more people there are, the ships more there will be.

    @All Concerned: Great Ships!

    Let it also be noted that if you don't sign up as a recruit, I'm going to have to give you guys walk-on "guest" roles.


    @V: You've been added.
    Last edited by UncleWolf; 2008-12-11 at 11:22 AM.

  29. - Top - End - #1319
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Mordokai's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2007

    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Add me, if you want. Teal is somewhat my preffered color.
    Adrie, half elven bard. Drawing by Vulion, avatar by CheesePirate. Colored version by Callos_DeTerran. Thanks a lot, you guys.
    This place is not a place of honor…no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here… nothing valued is here.
    "There will come a day so dark you will pray for death. On that day your prayers will be answered."
    Book of shadows, book of night, wake the beast and banish light.

  30. - Top - End - #1320
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    TwoBitWriter's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Norman, OK
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

    Quote Originally Posted by Mordokai View Post
    Add me, if you want. Teal is somewhat my preffered color.
    But... but you have always been portrayed using blue!

    My... my world is now falling apart thanks to you!

    Think about Jareth at the end of Labrynth, that is what you have done to me, Sarah *ahem* I mean Mordokai! Someone PLEASE write the shipfic... Twobi as Jareth and Mordy as Sarah... I know Labrynth has been referenced to death...but I want to dance with Mordy!
    Last edited by TwoBitWriter; 2008-12-11 at 11:20 AM.

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