..and I said, medusa? I just met 'er! Hey! A druid, a rogue and a paladin all walk into a bar. The druid asks for water, the rogue steals a beer and the paladin demands to serve his own order! So I was talking to a wizard the other day, and he said the best love potions were made from nymph tears. I call bull on that, everyone knows beauty's in the eye of the be-
-The final performance of the patchcorner Hardy Laurel.
Suddenly ended via decapitation by a mysterious ball of hair.
5d6+5 (22 hp)
30ft. (6 squares)
11, touch 11, flat-footed 10 (+1 dex)
Slapstick +2 melee (1d6+2)/Rimshot +3 ranged (1d2+3)
Slapstick +2 melee (1d6+2)/Rimshot +3 ranged (1d2+3)
5 ft./5 ft.
Half-Wit Half Healing, Dark Wit, The Joke's On You
Fey Traits, Old Joke, The Best Medicine,
Fort +2, Ref +5, Will +6
Str 11, Dex 13, Con 12, Int 15, Wis 15, Cha 20
Perform (Cha, Comedy) +8, Heal (Wis) +8, Sleight Of Hands (Dex) +8, Use Rope Int) +8, Spot (Wis) +8, Listion (Wis) +8, Survival (Wis) +8, Diplomacy (Cha) +8
Solitary, Double Act (2), Circus (3-10)
Patchcorners are a group of Fey renowned for their healing ability. Rather than mending wounds and purging illnesses by herbs, surgery or even channeling positive energy they are able to allow living creatures to generate their own. By using their charisma to fill people's hearts with joy they are able to supplement their charges' constitution.
A patchcorner is typically 5ft high and built much like an elf. They tend to be beautiful, however much of their charm comes from their inherent understanding of how to make sapient creatures laugh. They can be found acting as healers to other fey, or travelling the land as performers. They are sought after by many theatres and circuses for their talents, but professional healers often find them annoying or disruptive.
Half-Wit Half Healing (Su)
Once per day a patchcorner can make a perform check. Anyone within 60ft. who can clearly hear, see and understand the performance gets a +2 bonus on all saves against poisons and disease for the next 1d6+1 hours.
Dark Wit (Ex)
The patchcorner may take a full round action to try and confront an enemy with an uncomfortable truth through humour. The target must make a will save vs. the patchcorner's perform (comedy) check or become shaken for a number of rounds equal to the patchcorner's charisma modifier.
The Joke's On You (Su)
3/ day the patchcorner may add their charisma modifier to their AC for one check. They retain this bonus even in situations where they lose their dex bonus.
Old Joke (Su)
A fey is a creature with supernatural abilities and connections to nature or to some other force or place. Fey are usually human-shaped.
A fey possesses the following traits (unless otherwise noted in a creature’s entry).
- Low-light vision.
- Proficient with all simple weapons and any weapons mentioned in its entry.
- Proficient with whatever type of armor (light, medium, or heavy) that it is described as wearing, as well as all lighter types. Fey not indicated as wearing armor are not proficient with armor. Fey are proficient with shields if they are proficient with any form of armor.
- Fey eat, sleep, and breathe.
While within 50ft. of a patchcorner carrying out an enjoyable performance (DC 15), any penalties due to aging are ignored.
The Best Medicine (Su)
When performing a heal check, the patchcorner adds both their ranks in perform (comedy) and heal to the roll. In addition, anyone who observes a great performance (DC 20) by a patchcorner gains fast healing 4 for a number of rounds equal to the patchcorner's charisma modifier. The fast healing only applies to allies who remain still and observe the performance. Allies who are moving gain a +1 morale bonus.
Patchcorners fight using their slapstick and rimshots (see below). A patchcorner typically carries 2-5 rimshots on their person. Round per round, patchcorner's tactics tend to be;
- Use dark wit to take the most dangerous opponent out of the fight (they may make an exception if this is a wizard, or someone else with a high will save).
- Attack with their rimshots.
- Move in with their club when they run out of rimshots.
A patchcorner will fight to defend themselves or anyone they're healing. Otherwise they will flee.
|15||These are patchcorners. Fey who enjoy making the other races laugh.|
|20||The laughter they induce has healing properties.|
|25||Their slapsticks are more dangerous than they look|
The Slapstick and Rimshots
- A king asks the PCs to travel into a nearby wood to convince a patchcorner to accept a job as his court jester.
- The PCs are gravely wounded after a battle, before being treated to a stand-up comedy performance by a mysterious fey. Finding themselves healed, the fey asks a favour of them...
- The PCs encounter a depressed group of fey who explain that their friend, a patchcorner, has decided to journey. They offer the PCs a powerful magical item if they agree to convince him to return.
The slapstick is a comical looking club that grants the holder a +1 bonus to perform (comedy) checks while they hold it. It is otherwise the same as a masterwork club.
Dmg: 1d6, Crit: ×2, Rng Inc: 10 ft., Wght: 3 lb. Dmg: Bludgeoning, 6gp
The rimshot is a type of projectile weapon invented by the patchcorners. It is held flat in the palm (giving the user the opportunity to strike an amusing pose) and launched forward by magic, it deals bludgeoning damage and makes a loud sound, similar to a drumroll, when it hits. Used rimshots have a 50% chance of being recoverable. They are treated as an exotic weapon by anyone but a patchcorner, who treat them as martial weapons. A patchcorner automatically becomes proficent with a rimshot if they have 5 or more ranks in perform (comedy).
Dmg: 1d2, Crit: ×2, Rng Inc: 20 ft., Wght: ½ lb. Dmg: Bludgeoning, 10sp