[Mirrinus]

All right, I'm back! Let's continue with another one of the most annoying segments of the game, shall we?

Spoiler

Let's Play Labyrinth of Touhou - Chapter 13

How infuriating! Once again, I'm stuck narrating the most frustrating parts of our journey.

At least you aren't alone this time. Misery loves company, doesn't it?

Just as long as you keep the troping to a minimum.

I make no promises.

Fine, whatever, let's just move on.

The 10th floor of the strange space that has appeared over Gensokyo seemed to be made entirely of Schizo Tech. Halls of iron walls that looped tightly around into a confusing maze. Mecha-Mooks that patrolled the metal corridors for intruders. A Control Room Puzzle composed of colored doorways that had to be toggled on or off by corresponding colored switches. Immense amounts of backtracking that would drive anyone to cry out Guide Dang It! Locked doors that-

Uh, Patchouli?

Yes, what is it?

You're doing it again.

Is that a problem?

It's just irritating. If you're going to keep doing it, then let me take over already.

But I haven't even gotten to the Goddamned Bats yet!

Too bad. Save it for Flandre's bedtime story.

Do you not understand that this is the most elegant way of conveying enormous quantities of information to our audience with minimal use of space?

Please, I'm already in a bad enough mood without having to wade through all of your references. The Eientei crew is still on the loose, we're stranded in a huge maze that spans three whole floors, and I've been trying to keep Cirno and Suwako from killing each other for the past four hours!

Very well then, I'll submit to your request for a brief moment. Your sour disposition is certainly understandable. We were all foolishly hopeful when we saw the stairs to Floor 11 right next to where we started, and the path to Floor 12 just beyond it. We should have known this place wouldn't be so simple.

Once we quickly ascended to Floor 12, we ran into a most confounding roadblock. An enormous steel door barred our way. Mounted on top if it was a display monitor that showed us the following:

Naturally, I was able to quickly decipher just what this meant.

What followed next was a grueling trek through three whole floors worth of intricate mazes as we searched high and low for the switches to open the locked door.

And that's not the half of it! If only all we had to do was wander aimlessly until we mapped out each floor! But no, it just HAD to be more complicated, didn't it? Scattered throughout the mazes were colored gates that would only let us through if the correct colored switch was on or off.

Since some gates required the switches to be on, and others demanded the off configuration, we had to do quite a bit of backtracking as we slowly made our way through the elaborate puzzles. The most frustrating moments were when we spent so much time navigating an entire segment of the maze only to run into a closed gate, then having to return all the way back to an earlier area to toggle the switch before making our way a second time to bypass the gate.

We had to endure three whole floors of this torture. Three! Whoever designed this place can just take a long walk off a short cliff.

That'd be Eientei, wouldn't it? Did they have such technology all along?

I'd imagine that Eirin would be behind this mess, although I wouldn't know where they got those things. They've always been pretty secretive about such matters. This whole "Sealed Chamber" business is no different.

Ah yes, what exactly is that? I confess I wasn't particularly involved in the whole Eternal Night Incident.

From what I can recall, Eirin said she used a powerful spell to encase the planet in a sealed capsule, to prevent the Lunarians from coming to Earth to look for them.

So they used it to protect themselves? That might be why they're considering using it again. Although, I can't imagine what they'd be trying to protect themselves from.

Beats me. Maybe Mokou burned down their home or something.

I doubt that. Even Fujiwara no Mokou would have trouble bringing down that fortress. Doesn't Kaguya have her eternity spell keeping it intact?

That's right. I guess it's not worth speculating too much about for now. We'll get our answers straight from the horse's mouth soon enough, just as soon as we finish releasing this accursed fail-safe lock.

It may not be wise to spend all of our time concentrating on just Eientei. Without a doubt, there must be other miscreants prowling these floors, just like earlier.

Don't be silly. Eientei has already established itself to be our prime antagonists. We don't have much time until they finish preparing the Sealed Chamber spell, so we can't waste any effort dealing with small-time troublemakers.

I would have thought you of all people would appreciate the necessity of staying aware of many targets' activities, and to not be blinded by a single objective. Aren't you suppose to be good at multi-tasking?

Well then, what do you suggest I should be looking for?

Anything that's suspiciously out of place.

You mean...like this whole entire dungeon?

No, like that mysterious ghost and black cat that Reimu saw chasing each other in the distance.

Black cat? You mean Chen?

No, Chen's back at the mansion with Ran. Honestly, I thought you said you were good at noticing details. I suppose the only details you're good with are the embroidery patterns on your silly dolls' dresses.

This coming from someone who's too nearsighted to see beyond arm's length? It's a wonder you can even aim your spells.

Hey, I can't help my vitamin A deficiency! Youkai have irregular nutritional intakes. But I guess an infant such as yourself still hasn't learned about such intricacies yet.

Infant? At least I'm old enough to lift objects heavier than a book! There's a reason we don't let you in the party when those Demon-faced Tops come attacking.

That's because anyone, whether two-bit tactician or Mary Tzu, knows to keep Glass Cannons back against a Zerg Rush of Goddamned Bats.

Uh...Patchouli?

What?

You're doing it again.

~ Alice Margatroid

~ Patchouli Knowledge