[darkpuppy]

Originally Posted by big teej

I tend to sit down and crank out a whole snippet at a time.... what takes so long between each post is waiting for insipration to strike or for the idea to congeal in my mind in a manner that I am satisfied with....

Yeah, I do that too, hence my long time between posts. I'm working on some right now, but I'm also working on 50 squillion other things... like toning down my hyperbole.

Originally Posted by big teej

well, if you must know.
spoilered for rambling lengthly story/explanation [rambling, yet awesomesauce true tale]

Well, I didn't have anything nearly as bad as yourself, m'friend (I did almost drown, but that was just one of those things, and in defence of a friend, to boot) , but I will quite happily share the story of how I broke my own nose (the first time), because it tends to make people laugh, and will hopefully cheer everyone up (speaking of which, daaaaamn, that was a bad end for Garret, Lady Moreta! I really felt Lyra's pain there!)

How Darkpuppy Broke His Own Nose (The First Time)
A True Life Tale, also known as "Pride Comes Before A Gush"

Spoiler

This was back in my comprehensive school days (I suppose americans would call it most of High School), and life was not exactly great. I was the outcast of the class, but in gymnastics, I could forget all that for the most part, and just have a good time. If it weren't for this, I wouldn't be so nervous about doing further gymnastics, but hey, life goes on, and it's still a funny story, in its way...

My class were doing gymnastics, with our gym teacher Dave Manley (who, I later discovered, played for the Scarlets (Llanelli rugby league team)), and the setup was, as far as I was concerned, pretty simple. Trampet, small horse lengthways, trampet, large horse sideways, crash mat. All we had to do was jump, vault, jump, stand, summy, and land. Simple as. Except, of course, even something that simple can go horribly wrong...

...I could see, as I leapt, that I'd judged the angle wrong, and was going to hit the trampet too hard. But, of course, momentum is a bit of a bitch, so I had to do the best I could. And the best I could was still pretty good. I vaulted, almost tearing me bloody arms off in the process, and, despite a misjump, misvault, and another misjump, I was on the large horse...

...On... the edge of the large horse. The rounded edge. So I had a simple choice: Fall on my arse, which would hurt a little, but would also get me noticed... again, in a class full of bullies. Or I could jump. And, by damn, I summied!

Now this, ladies and gents, is where the story diverges. You see, I know damn well I blacked out as I somersaulted, but the class say I hit my face as I landed. Regardless, I woke up, face down on the crash-mat, with the next guy yelling for me to get up. Of course, I was still a little woozy, and did just that. Nobody had noticed, nobody except Mr. Manley was even vaguely concerned. School's like that. Anyways, I realised what had happened.

Realised I was alive and well, after all that.

Laughed at the ridiculousness of it.

Sniff.

WHOOSH!

I didn't even blink, just reached for my nostrils, pinched hard, and said something along the lines of "Oh, great, somebody get me some tissue paper, will ya?" After all, I used to have lots of nosebleeds, so this was nothing new to me. I sat down (the tissue, quickly found, was bright scarlet quite quickly, and another was found, me f-ing and blinding, not from pain, but in frustration at how I needed a new tissue so quickly. Again, a tissue was brought, and both my gym teachers (the other, Mr. Jones, was a real trooper) were looking at me with some concern. Mr. Manley touches around my nose, asks me the usual things ("how many fingers?" "Three", all that jazz), and then, out of the blue, says "We'd better get him to the hospital, his nose is broken."

My reaction? "Oh, okay!" Didn't hurt, didn't mess me up any. And there, m'friends, is the amusing tale of how I broke my own nose, and, apart from a more cautious attitude toward gymnastic stunts, no real damage. xD

EDIT: Weird thing about that story... I know, damn well, that my body still remembers, and I could do that whole routine with no problem, but I also know that every time I visualise anything as dangerous as that, I get butterflies and second thoughts unless there's a friend nearby to make sure.

Well, after that, I think we need another snippet! so, for the first time, a snippet of the best characters I've ever seen in a roleplaying game in my area... The Axenshield brothers!

The Axenshield Brothers: A Remembrance (As Told To Volothamp Geddarn)
Or "Ne'er Were There Two So Grand... Or So Stupid."

Spoiler

What, the Axenshield twins? Tymora, I remember that pair. We split up after a while, when they finally worked out where their home was, but, by Elminster's beard, those two were interesting to be around!

We first met them after our foray into the Underdark. Bad times, we lost two down there, and they never received a decent burial... but imagine our surprise when, instead of coming out where we thought we should, we end up in the middle of the Anauroch, blazing sun beating down on us, and two dwarves in spiked plate and helms, arguing over a map! It was... surreal...

...So yeah, the conversation, when you got down to it, was bewildering. Here were these two dwarves, in the middle of Faerun's hottest desert, arguing in full plate, steel plate, about this map. "I told ye we shoulda turned left at Waterdeep!" "Yeah? Well which one o' us decided it would be a good idea to jump into that portal?" "Hey, at least I dinnae buy a map that neither of us can read!"

That gives you a damn good idea of what they were like. In battle they were terrifying, kept yelling about a guy called "Pwent", and how they were carrying on his legacy... looked like they had the shaking fever when they grapped someone, but it was effective... sliced their enemies to ribbons with their spikes, or impaled them on their horned helms when they charged... Of course, when they missed, they would embed themselves in doors, or bend their spikes... oh, Beshaba's bosom, when they bent their spikes! They'd be inconsolable until they were all straightened out, treated their armour better than they did!

But the one thing that stuck in my mind? The sphere. That was one mean trap, and these guys... well, lemme start from the beginning. There was this trap, a sphere with two rock doors on either side. You stepped out the one, and you would fall. But you wouldn't stop falling. You'd bounce off wherever you hit, but without losing speed. We swear, when Hammer Axenshield did it, he was starting to burn up, he was moving so fast. But he made it, and we saw what happened next.

Our elven ranger, she couldn't look. He was headed straight for the opposite door, a stone door, about 3 foot thick, at a speed you wouldn't believe... and... he just tucked himself into a ball as he hit... went straight through it, and...

...I need a drink for this part. Zzar, something strong like that. You'd need one too, if you found what we found when we got across safely. Flail, of course, went the same way Hammer did. He knew he was as tough as his brother, after all.

So Hammer and Flail Axenshield were there, standing on the other side of this door. About 50 feet down the corridor from this door, to be precise. Hammer was a little woozy, but that didn't stop him calling his brother a coward for not having "so much fun!" first. That's seriously what they said... and, inbetween the shattered door, and the two Axenshield brothers? Perhaps 8 or 9 kuo-toa. They'd been ripped to shreds, and, judging by the gore on Hammer's bent spikes, we'd guessed what happened. We also knew he was a bit concussed, because he hadn't noticed the bent spikes yet. Or his broken helmet horns. Gods, he was upset about that helmet!

He'd gone through them. Literally... this spiky dwarven ball had... gone through them, at that amazing speed... he'd skidded on the floor another 10 or 12 feet, and then got up. You see now why I drink so much now? Those two... they were honourable, great warriors... and certifiably insane.

Another drink? I would love one. Only make it a stronger one. This zzar isn't helping me forget that story I just told you...

True fact: After Hammer went through, he had 5 HP from unconsciousness left. And Flail had 7. After 24d6 and 19d6 respectively. They were tough. Level 7, I believe...