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    Default GITP Community Monster Class Competition II: The Thing That Should Not Be

    GITP Community Monster Class Competition II: The Thing That Should Not Be



    In madness you dwell...
    ––James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich, and Kirk Hammett

    The contest begins with the posting of this thread and will continue until the midnight, Sept 20th (EST) deadline.

    Soon after a poll will be opened for everyone to vote for their favorite that will last until the last day of the month.

    Rules

    1) You will be creating a monster class with the aberration type or augmented subtype (meaning you could make an undead aberration, an aberration-turned-construct, etc). It can otherwise be aberrant in whatever fashion you perceive that to mean.

    The creature itself does not have to be unique, though it can be; we encourage you to create a monster class for official WotC monsters or races, preexisting homebrewed monsters or races, or creatures you make up for this contest.

    2) Entries must follow the monster class guidelines as spoilered below:

    Spoiler
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hyudra View Post
    Design Guidelines for Monsters, a FAQ
    Spoiler
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    Give me the basics
    Monster classes, as designed by Wizards of the Coast, suck. They've got screwy HD, they've still got overpowered abilities, huge attribute bonuses and they're by and large pretty boring. Creatures with LA are little better.

    So we're aiming to make monster classes that work. That means no huge attribute bonuses, monster abilities that would break the game are tweaked. Overall, we want to take the monsters which were designed by WotC to be easy, intuitive and quick for a DM to throw into a combat and make them into classes - which are more complex, more involving, interesting to play and depend on long term interaction with both a group and a larger campaign world.

    Long and short of it, we're striving for:
    Originality - The monster class should be unique. It should stand out from the rest, as a class.
    Playability - The monster should allow for fluid, engaging, amusing and uninterrupted play at the table.
    Balance - The monster should be balanced enough that it's not going to hold the group back or dominate everything without even trying, both overall and at a given stage in its development.
    Elegance - The page which details the monster for the player should look good and be easy to understand.
    Flavor - Last but certainly not least, we want to preserve the flavor and the atmosphere of the monster the monster class is based off of.
    To these ends, there's a critiquing process where we'll go over your monster to find issues and help you work them out before we add the monster to the larger list.
    What are some good rules and rules of thumb to go by?
    Remember, monsters don't adhere to the type or the monster entry 100%. When designing the monster class, you should use the following standards and be able to justify anything different.

    Maximum level in the class is equal to the monster's CR.
    • So essentially, a CR 7 monster will be a class 7 levels long.
    • We've proven that we can do this with every class to date. It can take some work, but you can make it fit.
    • People keep asking, and we keep refusing: Stick to this as though it were a hard and fast rule.

    HD:
    • For those who are confused, HD for these monster classes is synonymous with ECL, or effective character level.
    • I'm stressing this because people don't listen: there is no need to match the size of the HD (d10, d8, d6, d4) to that of the base monster.
    • It shouldn't need to be said, but monsters get a HD advancement with every level in the class, unlike standard monster classes.

    Monster class BAB tends to fall into four general categories:
    • Full BAB (ie. as a Fighter) goes to monsters that are trained and experts at fighting. Monster that, even without class levels, are capable of parrying sword blows and going head to head with a swashbuckler and not looking like a dunce in the doing.
    • ¾ BAB (ie. as a Rogue) with Str bonuses for 'brute' monsters. The ones that aren't martially trained but still hit hard. The Str bonuses should be very consistent (+1 Str a level or +1 Str every ⅔ levels) to counterbalance the loss of innate BAB. They won't hit as often, but they'll hit hard.
    • ¾ BAB for other monsters that don't fall into the above category and that aren't explicitly 'casters' in role and design.
    • ½ BAB (ie. as a Wizard) for squishy monsters. These monsters typically have full casting or powers otherwise fitting to such.

    Saving throw progressions have two variants for each saving throw, good (like a Fighter's Fortitude save progression) and bad (like a wizard's Fortitude save progression).
    • As a general guideline, think of what class is closest to your monster in design. Is it more like a barbarian, monk, a rogue or a wizard? If so, try using the save progression of those classes as a starting point.
    • Balance saves against HD, BAB and skills/skill points. A creature with full BAB and 6+int skills per level probably doesn't need good progression for 2 different saving throw types, let alone three.

    Skill points per level and skills known generally stay within convention:
    • One thing many people get wrong is that they go for something unconventional with skill points, such as d3, d5, d7. This comes up more often than one might expect. Don't do it.
    • Skill points should, as with saves, reflect the role of the class. If the class is good at fighting on the front lines, it probably doesn't need to be a skill monkey too.
    • For skills known, try to keep it within a sane range of the skill points gained per level. A dumb brute with 2+int per level doesn't need 12 different skills for its skills known. Conversely, a more knowledgeable class with 8+int skills per level shouldn't have less than 10 skills on the list, lest it be forced to take cross class ranks.
    • In some cases, it bears noting, it may be justified to offer a monster talented in a particular field less skill points/skills known, but with racial bonuses or abilities that complement the skill. Convention for this is to offer a monster a bonus on uses of the skill equal to ½ its HD. One skill improved in this manner is enough, two is discouraged but allowed, three is too much.
    • Undead and constructs do not gain class skills. Plants should have relatively few.

    Natural armor is reflective of an inborn toughness. Convention is:
    • Natural armor equal to one's Constitution modifier for 75-90% of the creatures out there with natural armor.
    • Natural armor equal to one's Constitution modifier +1, with an added +1 every time they grow a size category, for monsters with the kind of toughness that makes people wonder if their blades will dull on the monster's scales or hide (such as Dragons and Bulettes).
    • Weaker monsters may justify natural armor equal to ½ one's Constitution modifier. This is also a good idea if there are concerns about armor proficiency being coupled with natural armor for too much toughness, on monsters it doesn't fit.
    • Monsters without Constitution are justified in using natural armor equal to their Strength modifier (common for constructs and undead) or their Charisma modifier (common for psionic entities and other less solid beings).
    • Template/Prestige Monster Classes should offer a bonus to natural armor as opposed to a natural armor bonus, with the difference being that the former stacks with the latter.
    • It's often worth stressing for templates that involve growing natural armor, that they either gain natural armor or enhance any existing natural armor, to allow for a range of monsters taking the template/prestige monster class).

    Ability score increases reflect increases in capability well above that of your average human:
    • A common mistake is to offer too much in the way of ability scores. Err on the side of caution.
    • Ability score increases should be one of the last things one adds to a monster class before submission. Get it done or nearly done, and then judge the overall efficacy of the monster and how well it reflects the capabilities of the base monster. Skill advances should generally shore up weaknesses and areas where the monster simply does not match up to the base creature.
    • Humanoids tend to get less (excepting those areas where the humanoid is a brute monster, as covered in BAB, above), while monsters without the ability to speak or perform fine manipulation tend to get a little bit more.
    • When distributing ability scores, try to have less/none at first level. This prevents a monster from becoming too good a dip - that is, it shouldn't be a class a player takes just one level in because the first level benefits are so good.
    • When in doubt, none at all. If that doesn't work, then try +1 per 3 levels.
    • Finally, where I've gone into depth on ability score bonuses, it bears stating that we try to avoid penalties wherever possible.

    Abilities offered should strike a balance between active & passive. See a few questions below on the FAQ here for more details on what that means. Further:
    • No dead levels! That means no levels where the monster doesn't get any abilities. Such is boring and needless. Levels where the monster gets abilities that aren't worth using, as well, can be counted as dead levels.
    • Some monsters don't have enough abilities to stretch out over their full array of levels. Don't be afraid to come up with original abilities to fill in the gaps.
    • Further, some abilities that are integral to the monster just won't work as is. In this case, scrap the abilities and rebuild it from scratch, in a way that lets it progress steadily as the monster advances.

    Movement modes are tricky because while they're common at mid-high levels, they can break the game at low levels.

    Flight:
    • Shouldn't be granted before 4th level. Flight trivializes low level encounters, since very few enemies will have a way of harming a flying PC. It lets PCs hang in the air and fire ranged weapons until the enemies are dead, or escape unhindered if things go south.
    • Grant flight at 4th level if the base monster uses flight as an integral part of its nature. A wyvern, imp, giant eagle and giant wasp would be instances of monsters who just aren't the same without flight.
    • Grant flight at 5th level for creatures who get it, but don't rely on it. Cases might include some celestials and some humanoid psionic creatures.
    • For creatures who just can't deal without some means of flight before 4th level, consider a placeholder ability. The Harpy, for example, gains the ability to make augmented Jumps and Climb checks, using her wings to bear her up. The Wyvern and Imp can fly at early levels, but have to land at the end of each turn of flight.
    • Finally, we should give a nod to those creatures who levitate and lack limbs to carry them about. Beholders, brain in a jar and the like all float. To keep them from taking to the sky, consider an ability that lets them float only a certain height above the ground. At 4th-5th level they might gain an ability that frees them from this restriction.

    Burrowing:
    • Same issues as flight. Though it's a little harder to attack from range while burrowed, burrowing creatures can go underground and pop up across the battlefield, pelt a foe and then duck back underground before the foe can close the distance. Also, like flying creatures, burrowing creatures can circumvent many dungeon features. Same general rules as flight.

    Size increases are both common and beneficial.
    • Large size shouldn't be available before 4th level/4HD. Some unavoidable exceptions (Ogre among them), but try to avoid it where possible.
    • Huge size shouldn't show up before 12 HD.
    • Gargantuan size shouldn't show up before 16 HD.
    • Colossal size shouldn't occur before 20th HD.

    Tiny size is problematic for other reasons:
    • Tiny size can't be avoided because it doesn't make sense for many tiny creatures (ie. a housecat) to start small and then shrink.
    • It tends to offer sizable bonuses, all things considered. The vast majority of tiny creatures get hide as a class skill, which makes for an easy +16 to hide at first level. With many getting dexterity bonuses, this can ramp up to +18 by second level. Most enemies will never beat that check.
    • It also offers a lot of penalties. To attack an enemy, one must move into their space. This severely limits one's options.
    • There's also the issue of sameness. Many/most tiny creatures play exactly the same, especially at low levels. Hide, move into an enemy's square, and dish out as much damage as you can.
    • The first fix for the above is to try to deviate from this formula in some fashion.
    • Having an active ability or movement mode that confers some benefit but prevents or hinders hiding/silent movement is one option; the Phase Wasp's flight is an example.
    • Alternately, consider the possibility of a small creature with slight build.

    Damage Reduction, Spell Resistance:
    • DR shouldn't occur before 2nd level, 3rd is suggested. Standard is DR equal to ½ one's HD.
    • SR shouldn't occur before 2nd level, 3rd is suggested. Standard is SR equal to 11 + the creature's HD.

    Full Casters:
    • Should be crafted very carefully to not overshadow the wizard, sorcerer or cleric.

    Special abilities, uses per day and action expenditure:
    • Abilities should scale with HD. See the question below for more details on scaling.
    • If an ability is too powerful for low levels, it is perfectly acceptable to offer a weaker version and scale it up over time.
    • Uses per day should scale with HD.
    • If a spell qualifies as a save or lose (or 'save or suck', or 'save or die') - an ability that forces a save lest it effectively take an enemy out of combat, it should not become anything less than a move action.
    What are the rules on using copyrighted material?
    The hard & fast rule (for here & elsewhere) is that you can base your monster classes on material from original sources. You can't copy text directly from copyrighted material. OGL stuff (Stuff found in the SRD or posted by WotC online) is kosher. Anything else is probably not. When in doubt, ask in the thread.

    More generally, for this project, don't write up your monster in a way that would demand a player to have a specific sourcebook. If your monster gives a feat or spell that is found on page 113 of It's Cold Outside, and the player doesn't have that book, the player can't use your monster. This is annoying and bad. That leaves two solid options:
    • Don't do it. Come up with an original ability or a replacement ability that holds to the spirit of that particular spell, feat or ability.
    • Offer an equal and fair alternative. Something along the lines of "You gain X spell from Y sourcebook or you gain the following ability, described below."

    Don't expect, either, for a player to have the sourcebook with the monster you want to play.

    What's this scaling thing people keep chanting at me?:
    Scaling refers to abilities that get consistently better as you level. Consider the following hypothetical skill:
    Smash that Doesn't Scale: You do 5 bonus damage.
    Smash that Scales: You do bonus damage equal to your Strength Mod.
    The former doesn't scale. You deal 5 damage, and while that might be perfectly good at level 1, when you're level 15, it's so useless you might as well not have it.

    The second ability, 'Smash that Scales' does scale. If you're a melee class, you'll have 4-5 strength at early levels, but as you gain levels, your strength score increases, and Smash gets consistently better. By level 15, it might do 8-10 bonus damage. Hopefully, this scales well enough to keep the ability useful, so that you don't feel like you wasted the level by taking a level in the monster class. It also helps you feel like you're growing more consistently powerful.

    So what are the ways I can make something scale?
    There's a few ways to make something scale. Consider the following:
    ...This ability allows a saving throw, with a DC of 10 + ½ HD + Cha Mod.
    This is how abilities and spells that demand saving throws scale 95% of the time. Generally speaking, it means that foes with bad saves & bad stats to apply to their saves will fail most of the time, foes with good stats and good stats to apply to their saves will pass most of the time. People in the middle ground have about a 50-50 chance. It's perfect.
    This attack deals 1d8+Str damage
    Simple enough, you do more damage as your strength gets higher. As a plus, for classes that grow, your natural attacks and most abilities that deal natural attack damage will also increase a step whenever you grow.
    Shoop da Woop: Deal 1d6 bonus damage, plus an additional 1d6 for every 3 HD you have.
    This makes for an ability that scales up in damage at a slow, steady, reliable rate.
    You may cast Spell Like Ability twice a day, with an additional usage for every 5HD you have.
    If you get an SLA or an ability with limited uses a day, chances are it's going to become a little less relevant as you gain levels. Getting more daily/hourly/weekly uses out of it is a good way to make it scale. If you feel you're getting too few uses at early levels and you can't figure out how to give more without having too many at high levels, consider something like, "You can use this a number of times a day equal to your HD or your Con mod, whichever is more." - it means you'll have between 2-4 uses at early levels, but you'll steadily get more later.
    Smash: You deals 999 damage. At 9HD, Smash also forces the enemy to make a fortitude save or die.
    Ignoring the ridiculousness of the example, note the 'at 9HD, Smash yadda yadda yadda.' - this is a case of upgrading an ability at a later HD. Whatever the case, try to emphasize scaling over HD rather than scaling with levels. The former ensures the ability stays relevant no matter how you multiclass. The latter (scaling by levels) tends to require you to dedicate yourself to taking levels in the class.

    There's more ways for abilities to scale. Try looking at monsters that have been recently added to the list and look at how their abilities improve over time.
    I'm being told to emphasize active abilities over passive ones. What does this mean?
    There's two broad types of abilities a monster gets. Active and passive. Compare the following:
    Netherbolt: The Shadowbat may, as a standard action, fire off a bolt of pure darkness, dealing 1d6 damage for every two HD the Shadowbat has.

    Shadow Cloak: The Shadowbat gains a bonus to Hide equal to half its HD.
    While both are fine skills and both scale in an appropriate way, the former ability is active. Netherbolt is a standard action, it requires the player to make a decision to use it, and it does something. The second ability is passive. It's always on. It's a set bonus that you don't need to think about. It does something all the time, with no decision making process involved.

    So why is this important? In general, someone needs to beat an average of 13.3 fair encounters before they gain a level. Let's say our hypothetical player Johnny is playing in his DM's campaign from levels 1-6 with a monster class. That means Johnny is probably going to run up against 66 and a half encounters, give or take. If Johnny is playing a tentacle demon monster class with no active abilities, he's going to spend 66.5 encounters doing nothing but declaring charges, attacking, full attacking and maybe using a combat maneuver like trip, bull rush or grapple. It's not terribly exciting, it's not a boatload of fun. Whatever the passive abilities are, Johnny's probably not making many meaningful decisions.

    On the other side of the coin, if Johnny is playing a monster class with active abilities, he's making the choice whether to use those abilities or to attack, whether to trip or to use his monster's tentacle love. There's choices made, and by making those choices, Johnny is getting more immersed in the game. Rather than just feeling like a beatstick that just happens to be dressed up like a tentacle demon, Johnny feels like a tentacle demon doing tentacle demon stuff. This is what we're going for.

    What's going on with these undead and Construct monster classes? Why don't they have skills?
    Undead and Constructs get a whole bunch of bonuses just for being undead/construct type. You're immune to poison, diseases, stunning, mind affecting stuff, morale effects, you get a bunch of HD, you can't be crit, you take no ability damage... the list goes on and on and on. It's a huge list of benefits!

    To prevent them from being too powerful as one-level dips (creating situations where everyone takes single a level in, say, skeleton, to ensure they can be undead and they get all those choice benefits), there's a rule that if you're undead or construct, you don't get class skills. So you're forced to put ranks in cross-class skills. We generally aim for undead and constructs to be a little less powerful, as well.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hyudra View Post
    [SIZE="6"]General FAQ
    Q) What monsters am I allowed to make into a monster class?
    A) We encourage Homebrewers to build any monster as a playable character class. New homebrewers are encouraged to pick low-CR monsters, and not to attempt to tackle epic tier (20+ level) classes from the outset.

    Q) Help! I'm taking a 1 or 2 level monster class and can't tell if it's BAB 1/2 or 3/4! (For the purposes of fractional BAB).
    A) Unless otherwise noted, an undead has 1/2 BAB, while all other classes/templates have 3/4 BAB.

    Q) When I increase in size does my strength increase and my dexterity decrease? If so, by how much?
    A) Size increases, or decreases, do not alter ability scores in this project.

    Q) What's the Caster Level for the SLAs?
    A) Unless otherwise specified, the Caster level for any SLAs is equal to your total HD.

    Q) What’s the Save DC for this ability?
    A) Unless otherwise specified the Save DC is (10+ 1/2 HD + Charisma Modifier).

    The rest of the rules are split into three parts. Use Guidelines will teach you all the general rules for using these Monster Classes in a game, with specifics on changing size or multiclassing several monster classes (unintended by the project, but people are liable to try it anyways). Critique Guidelines will explain how you can help the project by commenting on other people's monsters. The Homebrew Guidelines state how you can help us by making your own Monster Class.


    Use Guidelines

    You take these Monster Classes just like you would any other class, such as wizard or rogue. Each level of the class develops your abilities as that particular monster. Normally you should take the first level of a Monster Class at level 1, but in some cases you might wish for your character to transform into a monster, in which case you can take it at a later level. After that, you may multiclass freely; for example one might take 1 level of troll, then 3 of barbarian, then a second level of troll, then another level of barbarian.

    Upon taking the first level of a monster class, you lose all other racial traits: what this means is that while you may select a race in character creation, you lose that race when you take your first level in a monster class. You do not gain any traits or bonuses from being a race, as the first level of a Monster Class replaces both class and race. That said, the monster classes are typically a step more powerful than a standard class to make up for the lack of racial bonuses.

    Growth Table
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    {table=head]Base Size|New Size| AC & Attack Bonuses*|Space*|Reach (Tall/Long)*|Ave. Size Incr.|Ave. Weight Incr.|Grapple Mod.|Hide Mod.
    Fine|Diminutive|-4 (size)|+½’|+0’/+0’|+6”|+1/2 lb.|+4 (size)|-4 (size)
    Diminutive|Tiny|-2 (size)|+1½’|+0’/+0’|+9”|+5 lbs.|+4 (size)|-4 (size)
    Tiny|Small| -1 (size)|+2½’|+5’/+5’|+18”|+36 lbs.|+4 (size)|-4 (size)
    Small|Medium| -1 (size)|+0’|+0’/+0’|+3’|+240 lbs.|+4 (size)|-4 (size)
    Medium|Large|-1 (size)|+5’|+5’/+0’|+6’|+2000 lbs.|+4 (size)|-4 (size)
    Large|Huge|-1 (size)|+5’|+5’/+5’|+12’|+8 tons|+4 (size)|-4 (size)
    Huge|Gargantuan|-2 (size)|+5’|+5’/+5’|+24’|+80 tons|+4 (size)|-4 (size)
    Gargantuan|Colossal|-4 (size)|+10’|+10’/+5’|+48’|+200 tons|+4 (size)|-4 (size)[/table]
    Natural weapons damage increases one die size for each size increase.

    Thanks to Zeta Kai for the Table.


    Under normal circumstances you may not multiclass two Base Monster Classes. Below are some suggested rules should you decide to go against the grain and attempt such:

    Multiple Natural Armor Bonuses
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    If a creature gains natural armor bonuses from multiple sources treat them according to the following chart.
    {table=head]Base Natural Armor|Extra Natural Armor|Results

    1/2 Con Mod|1/2 Con Mod|Full Con Mod as Natural armor Bonus

    Anything higher than 1/2 Con Mod|1/2 Con Mod|+1 Nat. AC

    Full Con Mod|Full Con Mod|1.5 Con Mod

    Anything Higher than Full Con Mod|Full Con Mod|+2 Nat. AC

    1.5 Con Mod|Anything higher than Full Con Mod|+3 Nat. AC[/table]
    Creatures that gain Natural Armor from more than one monster class, that specify different Ability Scores as the base for their Natural Armor Class use whichever Ability Score is higher to derive both Natural Armor Classes, and uses the chart above.
    Thanks to ChumpLump for the Table.


    Multiclassing Monsters
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    In some cases, your DM may disregard the above rule and allow you to multiclass two base monster classes. This will likely represent some sort of hybrid character, which could be interesting. In this case, how you should play this is: For the monster class which you do not take at level one, remove the “Body of X” class feature, and use the “Body of X” for your first monster class. If you somehow take them at the same time using a variant rule like gestalt, keep the “Body of X” from the class with more levels. If they both have the same number of levels, you may choose which “Body of X” you keep.


    Homebrew Guidelines
    Making a Monster Class is difficult, so don't think you can whip something up in ten seconds and get it posted. It may be long and hard to perfect it, but we'll help you through it. Follow these guidelines and you'll quickly be on your way. Remember to start out with Hyudra's class template so that all classes are in a standard format.

    • Start small. If you are new to the project, don't submit a monster with a CR (and, as a consequence, a maximum level) greater than 5. Leeway can be granted (say, a CR6-8 monster), but ask if you're really keen on doing such. Long & involved monster classes coupled with inexperienced creators make for monsters that can take two or more months to wrap up, with constant revision and critique. Not fun for anyone. Learn the ropes first.
    • Spellcheck, format check: Read over your finished work for errors. Ideally, you want to run it through a spellchecker (either built into your browser or copy/pasted into a word document), but if you've got a good eye for errors, that can be omitted. Similarly, check the design & format of your post against other recently finished monsters (Such as Saguaro Sentinel or Troll) to see if there's something you're doing too differently.
    • Be prepared to revise: Monsters that are submitted have to go through a review process to ensure we're putting quality work out there. For this reason, the council members will go over monsters and suggest changes.


    3) The entry must include name, source (if not an original creature creation), complete class (including prerequisites––if any––hit dice, class skills and skill points, BAB, saves, and detailed descriptions of all class abilities). Incomplete entries will be disqualified at the deadline.

    If the monster class is your own homebrewed creation, fluff text is also necessary. If it is based off of an existing official, third party or homebrewed creature, then a link to that creature's fluff text will suffice. An image at the head of your entry will not only attract more attention and votes, but will also aid players and DMs in their ability to visualize your monster class.

    4) Entries must be D&D 3.5 edition, using the standard format.

    5) Post all entries on this thread. Do not post conversation here. Any and All Comments, questions and discussions will take place here in this separate conversation thread.

    If you wish to receive critiques and other feedback beyond the lifespan of this contest, or wish in the future to submit your monster class to the Monster Class Hall of Fame project, then you must copy your monster class entry from this thread and post it in your own monster class hall of fame thread or homebrew thread, as per the moderator rules listed in the Monster Class Hall of Fame rules (don't just link your submission to that project from your entry post in this contest).

    6) One entry per participant. No double-teaming.

    7) The monster class itself must be your own work, though as mentioned above, it can be based off of a preexisting monster. It must, however, be created fresh for this contest––no previously made, previously posted monster classes.

    8) No reserving posts. Feel free to post a creature and tweak it, but you have to have the basic beast already done.

    First Place Prize

    I will create a rough illustration of your winning monster class! Check out my deviantart.com gallery to see if you even like my style...

    Homebrewing Guides

    3.5 Homebrew Theory by Djinn in Tonic

    Vorpal Tribble's Monster Making for the Feebleminded
    Last edited by Stycotl; 2011-09-05 at 06:06 PM.
    my own diabolical experiments (homebrew)

    my deviantART

    my alter ego

    Campaigns
    Watchtower––Volume III (running since 2008)

    Announcer— “Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.”

    Wiggum, checking— “Well I'll be damned.”