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Thread: Request a Homebrew: Thread 2!

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    Troll in the Playground

    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Elemental Plane of Purple

    Default Re: Request a Homebrew: Thread 2!

    c 719

    The above mentioned Goat Demon needs severe editing as it contains numerous errors. HD didn't include bonus hp from con so hp is also wrong, speed is too slow for a huge creature, Huge size penalty modifier missing from AC and attack, creatures get iterative attacks from manufactured weapons, BAB is just +15 (BAB is never iterative). Hoof is not a slam attack and natural weapons when mixed with manufactured weapons are always secondary. It gets 126 skill ranks (max of 18 in any one skill) and then you add ability modifiers and synergy bonuses. Saves are +9 and then you add the appropriate ability modifiers. It has a Hide penalty due to size and Dex so that should be listed even if it has no ranks in that skill.

    A quadruped monster with arms should be able to take the feats mounted combat, ride-by attack, spirited charge, and trample without the need for meeting the prerequisites. See for example the Centaur entry in Races of Faerūn. I don't recommend giving them as racial feats, but it doesn't make sense for a creature to need to "ride itself." It certainly cannot fall off itself or need to steer itself. The prerequisite of Ride 1 is silly under these circumstances.

    Improved natural armor is a wasted feat on this monster. Improved means you have to add to its initial natural armor and you didn't do that. Just assign it +11 NA and be done with it. It should have a replacement feat.

    The plural of bonus is bonuses not bonii (in Latin the plural is "bona").

    Here is the corrected creature in spoiler


    Goat Devil (Capralotarg)
    Huge Outsider (Evil, Fire, Lawful)
    Hit Dice: 15d8+60 (127 hp)
    Speed: 30 ft (6 squares)
    Initiative: +5 (+1 Dex +4 improved initiative)
    Armor Class: 22 (+1 Dex,+13 natural -2 size); touch 9; flat-footed 21
    BAB/Grapple: +15/+28
    Attack: Hoof +18 melee (2d6+5) or Huge +5 flaming burst keen unholy lance +23 melee (3d6+10 plus 1d6 fire plus 2d6 against creatures of Good alignment plus additional 2d10 fire on a successful critical hit/19-20/x3)
    Full Attack: Huge +5 flaming burst keen unholy lance +23/+19/+14 melee (3d6+10 plus 1d6 fire plus +2d6 against creatures of Good alignment plus additional 2d10 fire on a successful critical hit/19-20/x3) and 2 hooves +13 melee (2d6+5) and gore +13 melee (2d6+2)
    Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft. (30 ft. with lance)
    Special Attacks: Breath Weapon, Conflagration, Gaze of Madness, Pounce, Spell-like Abilities, Trample (2d6+7)
    Special Qualities: DR 10/good, devil traits, electricity resistance 15, fiendish fortitude, quadruped, spell resistance 15 (35 with scarab of protection), see in darkness , telepathy 60 ft. ( to creatures with language only)
    Saves: Fort +13 (+17 against magical poisons and diseases) Ref +10, Will +7
    Abilities: Str 20, Dex 12, Con 18, Int 8, Wis 10, Cha 16
    Skills: Bluff +21, Concentration +13, Heal +9, Hide -7 (-8 size penalty), Intimidate +18, Listen +18, Spot +18, Sense motive +4, Knowledge (religion) +8, Knowledge (planes) +8, Perform (pan pipes ) +13, Profession (winemaker) +4
    Feats: Improved initiative, mounted combat, power attack, ride-by attack, spirited charge, trample
    Environment: Any lawful- and evil aligned plane
    Organization: Solitary, deputy (1 goat demon plus 1-3 chain devils or 1-6 bearded devils) or council (1-8 goat demons plus 2d4 erinyes or 2d12 imps, or 2-6 chain devils or 1-12 bearded devils)
    Challenge Rating: 18
    Treasure: double gold; standard gems; 15% half art; 45% standard magical items, plus +5 flaming burst keen unholy, huge-sized lance and (3d6+10 piercing,+2d6 against creatures of Good alignment, +2d10 fire on a successful critical hit)19-20/x3, masterwork instrument (Pan pipes) plus pipes of pain or pipes of sounding (50% chance of one) and scarab of protection (+20 SR if held for one round, 1d12-3 charges of protection against negative energy left)
    Alignment: Always lawful evil
    Advancement: 15-19 HD (Huge) 20-38 HD (Gargantuan)
    Level Adjustment: —

    Edit: Trample does hoof damage (normally slam) plus 1 and 1/2 Str bonus. The save should half the damage not negate it. I also corrected the damage on its attacks. Hoof uses full Str bonus and Gore is 1/2 Str bonus. There is no attack that uses double Str bonus. The melee attack size has a -2 size penalty (it is not he +8 size modifier used by Grapple).

    C 711

    The above ooze creature needs some editing. Mindless creatures don't get feats in addition to not getting skills. Giving it two bonus feats is probably not appropriate either.

    C 725 and C726

    I thought creating base classes was beyond the scope of this thread.

    R 695 again. See page 1 second entry in this thread and my first post in this thread. Just thought I'd bump my request up. Thanks.

    Last edited by Debihuman; 2011-11-23 at 06:05 PM. Reason: added stuff
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
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