2005-07-08, 06:09 PM
Retired Mod in the Playground
Re: the incredible OotS INDEX!
Like this? :)
Originally Posted by LayzzOR
1) Conversion to 3.5, featuring "weapon shrinkage"
2) Picking teams to split up (Elan is last)
3) Attack of the ninjas! ("I think I just failed a Spot check")
4) Elan's magical songs, and a stupid ogre
5) Everyone rejoins, and kicks ogre @$$
6) Aftermath and healing ("I found all these free swords. They were in my spleen.")
7) Durkon uses ThorPrayer (tm) ("You have selected 'Colon Tumor'.")
8) Haley gives Elan a healing potion; Belkar is missing a healing potion. ("I'm a rogue, so I must have stolen your potion.")
9) Vaarsuvius Identifies the belt of masculinity/femininity.
10) Vaarsuvius uses a spell of great power to overcome goblins with sleep. ("But...I did not cast my spell yet.")
11) OotS confronts a goblin spellcaster who utilizes Unholy Blight--successful on all but Belkar. ("Best not to dwell on it.")
12) The great "up a level"/"down a level" debate.
13) Elan uses "Summon Plot Exposition" to fill in backstory. ("And treasure!")
14) The group needs to camp for the night. Roy considers possible watch assignments.
15) Roy's dead father visits him in the night with the cryptic foreshadowing, "When the goat turns red strikes true."
16) Roy consults with Vaarsuvius about his ghostly visit, while Durkon insists on turning undead. ("Sweet merciful gods, my poor, useless eyes!")
17) Haley, Elan, and Belkar debate the merits of a rapier and fail their Hide and Spot checks. ("I could Sunder that by speaking too loudly.")
18) Confronted by the chimera Trigak, Haley makes use of Sneak Attack, twice.
19) Haley, Belkar, and Elan must flee the chimera. Elan tries a cunning illusion, but Trigak ain't a "playa." ("Never say 'playa' again.")
20) Vaarsuvius eagerly unleashes freshly prepared spells on the chimera. ("Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion!!!")
21) Haley scolds Belkar for killing off the chimera ("He was obviously supposed to be a recurring villain") while Roy and Vaarsuvius debate whether the prophecy has been fulfilled.
22) Roy attempts to get Belkar to track the chimera back to Xykon. ("The chimera made fun of how short you are.")
23) Xykon consults with Redcloak about discount mercenaries and refuses to let the Thing in the Shadows reveal itself.
24) Durkon's clanking metal armor alerts monsters, to Roy's chagrin. ("The heroes are here!")
25) Elan and Durkon discuss the armor check penalty, and Elan draws a scary conclusion. ("Please cast blindness on me.")
26) Roy attempts to get Elan clothed again before Haley returns from scouting. ("Wanna help me practice my tumbling skill?")
27) Roy convinces Elan to accept "Cat's Grace" from Durkon and put his clothes back on. ("It's a touch spell.")
28) Haley returns from scouting and talks about "Elan's blade." ("...to see what his 18 Charisma is worth 'under the hood'.")
29) Roy is skeptical that Haley found nothing but a rapier in the room she "scouted," but has no answer for "feminine products."
30) Vaarsuvius finds a secret door, and Elan finds a "squid thingy."
31) We get to see the Mind Flayer's thoughts and why it chooses Roy instead of Vaarsuvius.
32) Two lawyers show up with a "spooooky" Cease and Desist order and cart the (trademarked monster name) away.
33) OotS mail call, featuring Vaarsuvius explaining doilies.
34) Fighting goblins, Durkon keeps forgetting to add in his bonuses. ("He'd be a pretty good fighter if he had a better head for numbers.")
35) Haley searches for traps, to the delight of the men in the group. ("Can't be too safe.")
36) Roy and Haley discuss the distinction between "There are no traps" and "I didn't find any traps." ("I have a lot of hit points. How bad could it be?")
37) Xykon deals with ogres who want higher wages. His solution: Zombie ogres.
38) Roy, poisoned by the trap, is immobilized and becomes a victim of practical jokes by Belkar and Elan. ("Think of the fun at parties!")
39) Roy's ghostly dad returns to renew the warning. ("You brought a DATE to come warn me of mortal danger?")
40) Thor's battle with Surtur is interrupted by an "emergency" call from Durkon to request spells.
41) Surrounded in a battle with still more goblins, Vaarsuvius uses Cone of Cold to great effect. ("Too bad you froze Elan by accident.")
42) Belkar gets to scout by himself, makes a Spot check, defeats a ninja, and wishes he had an audience.
43) Roy decides to skip opening another door, but Elan can't resist the mystery. Beyond the door: a group of doubles!?!
44) Meeting the Linear Guild. Introductions all around.
45) OotS debates the wisdom of joining forces with the Linear Guild. ("Haley, you know, treasure isn't that important.")
46) OotS agrees to help the Linear Guild find the Talisman of Dorukan, and Nale gets an Internal Monologue.
47) The combined teams split up to reach the three elemental sigils, and Xykon and his minions watch on the crystal ball. ("Picture in picture!")
48) The kobold keeps stabbing Belkar whenever he leaves his "threatened area." Roy accepts it. ("Yay! Thog happy talky-man is happy.")
49) Vaarsuvius unsuccessfully attempts to barter with the dark elf Zz'dtri for a Fly spell. ("Crap! Another Feather Fall? This totally sucks!")
50) "The Semi-Secret Origin of Elan and Nale" explains the separated twins. ("And that never struck you as needlessly complicated?" "Not until this moment, no.")
51) Roy and Thog go for the earth sigil "thog would be a good puppy daddy"
52) the clerics and "bards" for the fire sigil, "higa just needs some "alone-time""
53) the elfs and the lady's find the air-sigil "maybe mom is right. I should quit this job before-"
54) activating the sigils "rumbleworthy"
55) introduction to the 2ed monster-pit by Nale
56) Nale takes the talisman and strikes down Elan "Allow me to shed light on an alternate hypothesis"
57) Nale reveals his true plans and captures the order "Attack my outdated legions"
58 ) V uses an owls wisom to enable Belkar to use a healing scroll "i'm all for looting the corpses of my fallen allies, but shouldnt we wait for a better time?"
59) Haley destroys the talisman
60) Roy reveals the true meaning of the prophesy "wow, thats a lot more planning then i though this strip had"
61) Nale and Elan fight "deny the psychopatic egomaniac"
62) Haley is puzzled by her lineair-twin's nature "eat obscure alchemical metal"
63) Belkar kills the kobold and ends up with a new hat
64) Thog and Nale switch opponents "Thog reluctantly forced to agree"
65) the elfs battle and zz'drizt(sp?) is carried off to see the Wizard
66) Elans makes Thog surrender "stay away! Thog not want girl cooties!"
67) Elan persues Nale who nearly falls in the pit "Karma-riffic!"
68 ) Elan has the classic angel vs devil internal debate "so much for law and chaos"
69) Party rejoines and finds stoned(sorry) fey "who's that looking good with his swanky new hat"
70) Thog tells the Order about the scroll and the fey is returned "for a thousand years"
71) the fey explaines about her job and Xykon moving in "so, do yoy have any actual experience in controlling the elemental forces of the wind?
72) the party uses the employee exit and "I have this nagging feeling we're all forgetting something"
73) Durkon thinks about WWTD "Then i return to Asgard to woo godesses and drink an oceans worth of ale"
74) Helge meets up with Durkon and they by jumping on the Flumphs
75) Order finds out Durkon is missing "I am so dissapointed in you, Roy"
76) Durkon and Helga travel through dark dungeon, "maybe we should hold hands in case the floor gives way"
77) "go team cleric"
78 ) Roy's dad comes round and complains about Roy being a fighter "maybe you could stick him in the eye. Oh right, skeleton"
79) Loki and Thor find out something about their clerics "and now we're in the dark toghether, alone"
80) "Behold, BANJO the CLOWN, god of puppets"
81) The Church of Banjo grows to include Belkar (orthodox) and Haley (reformed) but not Vaarsuvius ("Does it do espresso?")
82) Redcloak finds the Thing in the Shadows watching dwarf sex on the crystal ball. ("It's entertaining, AND educational!!!")
83) Basking in the afterglow, Hilga tells a shocked Durkon her backstory.
84) The painful breakup of Durkon and Hilga ("What the heck does happiness have ta do wit' bein' a dwarf?")
85) Durkon returns, and the Church of Banjo collapses, setting the stage for "the call of Banjulhu!"
86) Belkar's in trouble...until they find the restrooms.
87) Elan enlightens everyone about Vaarsuvius being "half-camel" while Haley waits in line.
88) Vaarsuvius suggests using a "less robust" version of Invisibility Sphere to bypass monsters. ("Who's groping me??")
89) The difficulties of navigating while invisible. ("Bite my 50% miss chance.")
90) The invisible group has to make Move Silently checks to avoid goblins, with one little problem. ("I got a 4!")
91) The pursuing goblins are dealt with by "Fruit Pie the Sorcerer" ("You're trying to kill me, you fruit-filled bastard!")
92) Still fleeing the goblins, the group takes help from unseen allies below a trap door, and V leaves Explosive Runes behind. ("It's a dungeon, V, there's always a secret door.")
93) The hidden allies prove to be goblin teenagers. ("Listen to me, young man, you will drink the blood of the innocent and you will LIKE IT.")
94) As the goblin teens lead OotS past interestingly-named dungeon geography, Belkar, Roy, and Durkon devise a plan to defeat Xykon.
95) Xykon needs Redcloak to stop killing demon roaches and Speak with Dead. ("My question is this: do you know where my keys are?")
96) Redcloak tries to convince Xykon to attempt to open the gate with less "zapping." ("I've never heard of any gate.")
97) Xykon explains that he knows how to open the gate, if OotS will ever get down there. ("Sir, aren't you going to join us in a hearty evil villain laugh?")
98) Emerging from the Corridor that Takes Three Strips To Walk Through, the group triggers a trap that sprays barbeque sauce ("Wait--Halfling senses activated!")
99) V Fireballs the monster, but Haley gets dragged off by one of the goblin teens ("The fireball seals in the deep roasted flavor!")
100) Haley easily defeats her captor with Bluffing and Head Butt Sneak Attack, and is disappointed to find nothing special for episode #100
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. - Mark Twain