good to see you back big teej!

I like the 2nd person perspective you've gone with, here. I think that's really hard to write, and you did a good job with it; I think it fits the story you're telling really well. The narrative really hammers home the "you"s; that relentlessness I think is a driving force behind the general feel of your snippet.

My favorite bit, I think, is your choice of the word "remove" in the last paragraph. It serves to really underscore the instant, careless brutality of the stranger's action.


I'm working up the other half of the Renaldwatch Massacre; the process has been slowed by my getting a "real job." I should be able to finish it by this weekend at the latest.