*Even if my club does charisma damage, not to call it the ugly stick.
*Ommipotent pork swords only exist in my mind and the dungeons of dreadmor.
*Wands are magical implements of great power, not dildos.
*Even if that's all a wand of jump is useful for.
*Not to use enlarge person to bellyflop on people.
*Same with iron body, wildshape, and form-of-the-X.
*The lost armlet of whatshisface was not behind the sofa the whole time.
*Not to drag a cannon around to snipe dragons with.
* Feather fall as a spell-like ability is not an excuse to launch the party out of catapults instead of walking.
*If a siege weapon cannot fit into the door of a dungeon, I cannot have it.
*If I use it to blow a hole large enough for it to fit, I still can't keep it.
* It is incredibly crass to use reduce object on a pair of cannons so I can wield them like handguns.
* Cannot use a bag of holding to survive being launched out of a siege weapon.
*Cannot use ant haul, bull's strength, enlarge animal, and a team of donkeys to haul around a pile of loot the size of a small hill.
*This does not mean I can do the same with a pile of loot the size of a large hill.
*If I can survive indefinitely inside the stomach of a creature or construct that has swallowed me whole, not to hide inside there and snipe from inside it.
*If I use a rope trick and Magnificent mansion to build a house inside of one, I will be attacked by dire tapeworms as thick as treetruncks.
*Cannot use an undead variation and cut portholes and channels into it so I can fire out of it.
*My first response to finding a forest, cave, or enemy encampment is not "Set it on fire."
*This cannot be my second response after a paltry effort to do otherwise.
* The D.M is still figuring out how I set the forest on acid, the cave on ice, and the encampment on sonic, but it is assumed I am also banned from doing that.
*Cannot divert a river to clear out the location in question.
*Cannot create a river with a decanter of endless water in the general direction of the encampment.
*I AM allowed to use an avalanche, provided I do so in an area where there is actually snow.
* Cannot abuse stone-to-mud to bury all my enemies in thousands of tonnes of the stuff.
*Not to abuse the ridiculous wealth-by level of high-powered characters to just buy the place from under them.
*No, you cannot use a lyre of tunnelling to undermine them.
*JUST FIGHT THEM ALREADY!
*Cure wounds or no, I still have to say sorry.
*My character cannot have the stated goal of sleeping with each and every kind of compatible creature on the planet.