Hm. Fun. You're much better at lyrics than I am, so I'm not really the person you should talk to about that. My normal comment at this point would be that the parts a bit flat, but this is jazz. Any lead trumpet is gonna have no problem jumping this up an octave and going crazy on it. Same thing with the drums and bass, really. This is more or less a real book score.

Actually, now that I think about it, you could reasonably write this as a single staff score with chords marked in. It'd be incomprehensible to people who don't play jazz, but really, who else is going to play this? But it's good as a composer's score- I look forwards to seeing the finished version.