"Go to your bosom: Knock there, and ask your heart what it doth know."
- William Shakespeare
Submission Halifax, 8 years old, sat in a line with three other children her age. It was their anointing day. Her heart pounded and she clutched at the skirt of her new dress, wrinkling the fabric as her hands balled up in fists. She was nervous about standing up in front of the congregation, and nervous about the anointing. She was afraid the Prophet would see into her heart and find out about the girl at school that she had punched because she was bullying the special ed kids, but it didn't matter that the other girl was a bully, because violence was wrong and Submission had been wrong to do it. But it didn't seem right to just let the bully keep hurting people and -
Submission was glad that her name didn't come at the start of the alphabet. The first girl to be anointed was called up, and Missy watched carefully, making sure she would know where to step and what to do.
"Please, Prophet, I just want to be good."
Honour didn't seem nervous at all as he went through the service. Submission leaned over to Corriane who was just now taking her seat, "Do you feel different?"
she whispered. Corriane shook her head no.
Submission swallowed hard and went to the front, stepping carefully into the ring of flowers around the altar. She put her hands on the Book, and looked up into Pastor Michael's eyes.
"Please please please make me stop wanting to fight."
"Submission Halifax, we bid you to follow the precepts of the Prophets and the scriptures: to show compassion, kindness, and mercy to all beings, friend or foe; to lift no hand in violence and to turn the other cheek when violence is offered to you; to keep fellowship with your fellow members of the Order; and to spread light and friendship wherever you journey takes you. Do you vow to make this your practice?"
Missy's voice shook as she answered "I so vow."
Pastor Michael dipped his fingers into a bowl of water and drew the infinity symbol on her forehead. "Let the Prophet's light fill your heart, Sister Submission. Welcome to the Sacred Order of Cunningham."
She stood there a moment, realizing it was just as Corianne said. She felt exactly the same as she had a moment ago. No, she didn't. She felt much much worse. She'd hoped for a miracle, and none had come.
Was she really anointed? Maybe the Prophet hadn't accepted her. Maybe his light hadn't filled her heart.
Missy returned to her seat, bowing her head in prayer. "Please Prophet. Didn't you hear me? I'm anointed now. You're supposed to fix me. Please. I want to be good."
"Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one's weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart."
- Mahatma Gandhi
"Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof."
- Khalil Gibran