Warhammer 40K Tabletop XV: "More People Should Be Punched In The Head."

[Cheesegear]

So, yesterday was tournament day. My army was not going to be as good as it should have been, because they took their standard 6x4 terrain and just smushed it all to one side to make 4x4s, and making all the boards basically cityfight-style with terrain and LoS-blockers everywhere, which my army doesn't particularly deal with very well. I hadn't expected that, but, if you've got a truly good army, you should be able to come out with something.

vs. Blood Angels

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Librarian, x2 Tactical Squads

Dawn of War was excruciating, as he got to deploy first pushing back my bajillion units to the back of the board. And after that Fear the Darkness made the battle fairly elementary as the Librarian jumped out of the bushed and said "Boo!" to all my units as they then ran of the table.

Marbo killed the Librarian. Then it went alright, but at that point I didn't have enough units to stand up against Bolters at that point.

0-1. Minor Loss. From experience, taking a Loss in the first round puts you at the bottom tables with all the scrubs for Round 2. Generally those with bad lists and then also lost the first round.

vs. Eldar

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Farseer, Pathfinders, Dire Avengers in a Falcon, War Walker

This battle was s*. The Pathfinders plinked at units, Marbo blew up the Falcon (and himself, as he does), and my Mortars just made a mess of the Avengers that came out. The War Walker Outflanked and got into Assault with my Command Squad. I didn't have any Krak Grenades because why would you? And the Walker couldn't kill anything.

Went to Turn 7. There was just too many Infantry for the Pathfinders to do anything and no matter how much s* I threw at the Pathfinders, their 2+ save was still a 2+ save even when I made them re-roll it.

2-2. Draw. Sigh.

vs. Blood Angels (again)

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Librarian, Scouts with Rifles, Assault Squad in Razorback, Scout Bikes

So. Much. Terrain. I had one of my Vet units run up the board and try to go for a 1-1 Draw, but in the last turn, he parked his Razorback at the mouth of the bottleneck so I couldn't move through it because there was impassable terrain on both sides. Sigh.

Marbo rolled absolutely terribly in all cases. 5, Poison (2+) attacks is supposed to be amazing. And then you roll three 1s To Wound. And then he passes his armour saves, then dies. Which means his last Scout was able to nab the objective by Running in his last turn while my Veterans couldn't move past the tank because if they wanted to kill it, they'd have to stay still to shoot the Lascannon.

0-2. Major Loss. Lame. My opponent agreed that there was nothing I could do. I lost two turns of shooting because the terrain just allowed my opponent to go wherever he wanted without being seen.

vs. Tyranids

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Warrior Prime, Zoanthrope, Termagants, Tervigon, Genestealers

This one was easy. Just shoot everything and I win. Since it was Annihilation the Tervigon couldn't spew every turn, and due to the dire circumstances by Turn 3, he did it and rolled an 11, that is, 5, 5, 1. Double on the first go, and 11 is not a big number.

Marbo dropped a Demo Charge on the Prime taking it's last wound. Then in the next round proceeded to bring the Tervigon down 5 Wounds in Assault, then died, then a Lascannon did the rest. Marbo can destroy a Tervigon, but he can't kill Scouts? Ugh.

He had three Genestealers left at the end. So many Frag Grenades.

5-2. Major Victory.

vs. Blood Angels (again, again)

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Dante, Sanguinary Guard, Death Company

lol. I had heard this army was destroying everybody because nobody could deal with the Sanguinary Guard and at 500 Points most people only have 2, maybe 3 units on the board and that Dante and Sanguinary Guard would split after they landed and take care of 2 units without breaking a sweat.

Unfortunately, the turn after they landed (in the clump formation), Marbo appeared like the G*d damn Batman and dropped a Demo Charge and killed them all. Then Dante took a Lascannon to the face. I'm the only person at the tournament who has managed to kill Dante that day and get the bonus points for killing the enemy Commander of this guy.

The Death Company had died in the first turn.

Tabled. Maj...Minor Victory. The f*ing TO said that in the final round the only way to achieve a Major Victory was to hold all the objectives. Despite Tabling always being a Major Victory. In the first ten seconds of round start, I head somebody yell "F*" as they rolled for 5 objectives. Due to chance there was nobody at the tournament who could win on any table who rolled more than a '1' on their objective dice.

The TO said that "This will teach people to include more Scoring units." S*. It's 500 points. People are lucky when they can include even two and still win anything. I even heard in argument to the TO "Even the guy playing Infantry Guard only has 3 Scoring Units. Infantry Guard can't even win!" Obviously, that turned out to be true. F*.

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Aside from the massive rage-fest that was finding out the Victory Conditions for the final round, I believe everyone had fun and Best Sports went to the person who I wanted it to go to (the Tyranid player).

1. Coteaz and Crusaders and Melta-Warriors in Chimeras. Not DCAs.
2. IG Chimera spam. By not taking any special weapons (like Meltas and Plasmas like you usually do), he was able to fit more Chimeras. He had four in 500 points. Wish I'd thought of that, but, I didn't know that the terrain was going to be like it was, that is, that it favoured anything that could move fast and abuse the LoS blockers.
3. Farsight Tau. Don't ask me. I didn't play against it. I don't know WTF happed. But Farsight Tau, there it is.

I wasn't in the Top 5, but I was in Top 10 (out of 22). Pretty sure it had something to do with my Sports Score and my Paint Score (below). I don't know more than that. As a joke, I was voted 2nd Best Painted (my entire army was undercoated, that's it), on the grounds that my 'camo pattern' of white, drybrushed white, highlighted white fit my bases perfectly (white dirt) and it was the best camo anybody had ever seen.

The 'Biggest Apocalypse Game' that all the Stores I know of were doing (see Ricky S' post, above) was largely overshadowed by the fact that everyone who played 40K at that store was in the tournament.