Okay, so the whole gambling my soul on a competitive thing that I said I was going to do last night? Unnecessary, as it turned out. When I approached Libby and explained my plans to her, she just shook her head and smiled that irksome little creepy smile of hers. Turns out I misunderstood her, that my time limit with which to choose an afterlife was never really a set rule, but more of a polite suggestion than. So I guess I'm not doing any of that, then. Lucky me, I guess, that a death goddess has a silly infatuation with me, and doesn't mind telling me these things, or I could've gambled my soul over nothing.
See, the reason why it's a suggestion is if I stay here too long, folks are going to start to notice. Demon folks, that is. Angels too, and those weird robot ant afterlife guys from Dungeons and Dragons or whatever. Everyone is going to look down at Limbo, and see a MagClone soul, sitting around in indecision, and basically try to jump me like big, fat, smelly, steaming stack of fried cave rat nuggets in gross mushroom sauce, sitting on a plate right under that stupid Dippy's ugly goblin nose.
So yeah. The afterlives are mobilizing, and I need a new game plan. In fact, it might even be too late for one. Kal has already dropped by, the first of the eventual horde, giving me a rather half-assed sales pitch and a full-assed grope, which either implies that he's gotten too arrogant because his hell-thingy already has plenty of MagClones, or he's gotten too accepting of failure, for all the clones before me that rejected him and his smelly 'You'll finally have a look that will match that one awesome infernal week avatar you got a while back' offer that he only comes around just to mess with me. I asked Libby, but she just put a hand over her mouth, repressed a giggle or two, and said she's not allowed to disclose much information about previous Limbo souls people. That's minotaur poop, I know a white lie when I hear one.
So anyways, I took to asking some more questions after Kal left, figuring it'd be best that I clear up any additional misinterpretations of afterlife rules I might've made, as well as investigate my other options, if any, outside of picking an afterlife or waiting for someone sufficiently powerful to come along and pick for me. Firstly, I asked her about making my own plane of existence, for MagSouls. She said approximately six other clones had the same idea before, and ran their own planes for a short time, but never saw much business. The problem, y'see, was that the average MagSoul didn't want to go to a MagSoul afterlife. That would imply the ruling clone was superior or had seniority or something. Libby was always nice enough to provide fliers and such, but those new souls coming in would say "Fudge that noise, I'm opening my own afterlife. It'll be better than that clone's afterlife. It'll have blackjack, and hookers, and lasers attached to things!" And then they'd go do the same thing the first guy did, and fail just as badly. Failure isn't just a matter of wounded ego, either. All of those little baby planes inevitably got eaten by El Diablo when they failed to convince a single soul to join them and help defend against the fiery devil hordes. Libby says that it wasn't quite as bad as it sounds, though, that those clones whose souls were extinguished had ended quite painlessly. Libby is terrible at lying.
Next, I asked her what would happen if I stayed here in Limbo, besides the whole 'demons out to kidnap/make deals with me' thing. Turns out that there's a whole bunch of faithless rebel soul peoples hiding out in various little hidey-holes. Downside to that, of course, is that if I die in Limbo as a faithless, I die for good, and that's it, and there's a terribly large chance one of the rebel soul people might find an excuse to kill me, what with me being me and all.
So...that's pretty much the full extent of my choices. I can hide here with some smelly atheists and wait for one of them to eventually shank me, I can hide here all by myself until the demons kidnap me, I can make my own plane and wait for devils to eat me, or I can take a gamble on one of the afterlives, and hope I don't get eaten, kidnapped, or shanked in someone else's home turf. I asked Libby to give me her best estimate on the odds of each choice, and it looks like, as expected, the afterlife choice one is the only option that has even a remote chance of permanently keeping me alive. So I'm sure you can guess what I'm going to do next. I mean, it's pretty obvious to anyone secretly reading this journal behind my back (Yes Libby, I know you've found a way to do it. You're a goddess, of course you were going to find a way, and of course I would know. Don't look so surprised when you finally get around to reading this, jeez.) what my plans are.
That's right, I'm declaring war on and invading Kal's place! Some first and second circle dump run by a Lady Morgatha or something. I don't recognize the name, but she sounds like the sort of dumb broad who'd sit in a river and throw Zweihänders at people. Should be a piece of cake. That'll show that jerk for groping my butt! D=<