Y'know, considering this is the first time I'm doing this, I kinda felt like I should pick someone easy or with a small amount of 'brew, but you know what? Screwcork to that! I'll just be going with the only one nominated not by himself! Who, presumably, has been notified of course, and since more than 48 hours have passed since the nomination I think I can be safe in saying there aren't any objections on his part. Of course, the next times I do this (because I undoubtedly will do this again, at least if people like the below result), I'll simply roll a die for myself to randomly pick someone nominated. For now though, let's get on with it!
*incrediblydeepbreathbecauseholygignitsperhapsIsho uldnothavedoneitinthismannereveryonewillhatemenow; ohcrapohcrapohcrap*
“Lords and ladies! Children of all ages! Angels and fiends and abominable eldritch spawn from beyond time and space!
Today I shall talk to you of a man, but not an ordinary man! This man has walked amongst us for over three full years, disguised like one of us! With his can-do attitude, nigh-Shakespearean vocabulary and a face that hides a brain soaked through with such heretical ideas and a warped perception of reality that if one were exposed to it they could even end up doing such things as loving blasting spells or becoming 150% more complex!
My friends, I speak of none other than the one known as…
The Great OSKAR!*
If you see this man, steel your soul so that you won’t accept any cookies from him. He has garnered so many over the years, he just might lure you in with one, but you will never again escape his grasp! But… why is that exactly? What is it that could lure you in about this man? As a great philosopher once said “a man is not known by his thoughts, but his actions”. What actions, you may ask? In case of this Mr. Oskar fellow, it concerns a matter of the gravest sort, something even few amongst brave souls dare delve into… homebrew. *shudder* Truly, a man who dares stain his hands with such vile materials should be avoided, right? Well then, let us bring forth this man’s works, let the world judge him for what he has done! Let the judgement BEGIN!
At the end of the month of May in the year 2009, the defendant joined the community of The Playground. It was a full two months that he enjoyed the peace his new surroundings before he decided to rile it up! On the 5th of August, 2009, the defendant posted the Blademaster! He dared presume he could do better than the officials of the illustrious Wizards of the Coast and created a class derived from the material they had published in their Tome of Battle: The Book of Nine Swords, in doing creating a perfect Master of One as a base class! We have a word for that in this courtroom: HERESY! Such specializing greatness should be reserved for Prestige Classes alone! This man caused the poor Master of Nine to go to a corner and cry, “why couldn’t I have been a base class, too? I never get invited to their parties!” How cruel! And to think that this was merely his first attempt! This shows that either this man has a great talent and propensity for doing these sorts of things or that he had much practice before joining our great community! Not only that, but this defilement of Tome of Battle was furthered with alternative class features for classes that never meant to be martial adepts in the first place and an expansive list of feats that would aid those fake martial adepts even further! Let us examine what further heinousness has come from this man--pardon me--the defendant.
The defendant appears to be methodical in his work. In nearly all instances he has appeared, he has announced his presence aloud, not even making any effort to hide his crimes, rather advocating them, shout aloud to the world! This, along with his habit of--as he calls it--‘retooling’ official classes shows that he clearly takes pride in his work, challenging the conventions of the game that are bound in officiality!
The defendant, Mr. Oskar, presents all of his work with extensive commentary, his classes with
reflections on each single ability. His introductions are wordy and long. He has a love for ‘retooling’, which is taking official classes and remaking them in his own ideal. This drive isn’t even limited to base classes, having even consumed the Mystic Theurge, Bladesinger, Defender of Sealtiel and several divine prestige classes! It further appears that his classes can be divided into groupings that follow different styles, or ‘chassis’ as he calls them, as if he were making a car. This is most evident in the Monk, Ninja and Samurai, who all make use of a ki system for their class abilities and thus presumably work well together in multi-classing, but less so with other classes. Mr. Oskar also likes to advertise--nay--boast that his ‘retools’ increase existing abilities of the official classes, like the healer’s healing, the monk’s punching or the warmage’s blasting! Preposterous! Such pride is of the highest grades of sin!
Severity of Crimes
We shall now examine the severity of several of the crimes committed by the defendant!
Warlock; by splitting up the official Warlock’s Invocations into normal Invocations, Eldritch Blast enhancements and Pact Boons, Mr. Oskar greatly increased the class’ versatility. Along with making several options for different kinds of pacts, there was added more choices to the class, plus some new invocations as well. Overall, this proved to be a great boost to the Warlock, one they were desperately longing for, but one those wretched villains never earned for themselves!
Warmage; a relatively small and simple project of Mr. Oskar’s, the greatest changes he brought to the Warmage were several small class feature additions that yet gave a great increase in power, while greatly expanding the spell list as well, bringing it up to Tier 3 in the process. With how small of a project this was, such changes he could still make are downright frightening.
Borderline Tier 3-4:
Bez-Kismet; any changes and empowerments to the unholy pest that is the Hexblade are illegal in 57 countries and 46 states! The punishment for this should be to make Mr. Oskar one of them: without fate!
Healer; in Mr. Oskar’s own words, he gave his Healer ‘retool’ a full total of “150% more healing, 200% more buffing, 300% better healing and 500% more offensive abilities”. Investigations show that these percentages in reality are close to 53%, 240%, 219% and 837% respectively. This clearly shows the man is deceitful!
Marshal; with this one, we can be lucky that its power can be limited by limiting its allies. The Marshal by itself is generally Tier 4, for it mainly increases the numbers, including its own, but its action-granting is powerful and highly dependent on what the target of it can and will do with it.
Paladin; restraining himself from making use of his earlier defilement of Tome of Battle can perhaps be ascribed to the thinking of many who are guilty of the crime of homebrew that they would be making Crusaders, not Paladins. In his quest to ‘retool’ the Paladin, Mr. Oskar has made Smiting per-encounter-based, granted access to cleric spells, boosted their saves even further and even granted them special new attacks and auras! Worst of all, Paladins no longer are immune to fear… they even become better while afraid! This Paladin is just as the project name suggests… heretical!
Blademaster; while most martial adept classes are Tier 3 at least, the Blademaster focuses on only one discipline entirely, thus not getting any benefits from other disciplines until late. Despite having full access to his chosen discipline, this greatly limits its versatility, yet giving it a decent amount of power and choice in which maneuver to use at any time. Ultimately, it is one of the few Tier 4 martial adept classes. If that isn’t some kind of hypocrisy, I don’t know what is.
Monk; providing a boost to the Monk? Why, that’s blasphemous in its inherent nature, the Monk is after all the most flavourful base class of all and perfect without any dead levels. Many parts are kept intact, thank god, but Ki Strike has been improved, more bonus feats are granted and the Monk is overall updated with a ki system of sorts.
Ninja; the wonderful Wizards of the Coast once decided to delve into the mysteries of the Orient and created as a result. To alter one of the classes that came out of that venture into a more magical Rogue powered by an improved ki system is an insult to the honour of the people of the East!
Ranger; the addition of Trapfinding, Fast Movement and Favoured Terrain/Plane added some minor things to the Ranger, as well as the Fighter bonus feats in addition to his Combat Style, as a whole made the Ranger a lot stronger and allowed for more leniency on feat choice. Lenient on feat choice? Ha! As if anyone needs that! Feats were meant to be rare for anyone but the Fighter! We’re lucky that overall those changes and additions, as well as the switch to Druid spells, still wasn’t enough to increase its Tier, but the changes certainly do make it better. Defendant also may have a hidden love for Disney movies.
Samurai; how dare the defendant use Japanese words that the prosecution does not understand! This, and their breadth of choices, great amount of bonus feats and ki power insult both official Samurai! We are lucky that it is still relatively weak compared to all the other works of the defendant!
Further analysis of his additional materials shows that in its entirety the defendant has a great sense of balance, generally aiming for the border between the so-called ‘Tiers’ 3 and 4, providing fluff in very nice packaging in minimal amounts, mainly because his goal appears to be altering official materials to his own sense of balance and bringing up classes to that level for which he deems the official class is not sufficiently powerful or versatile enough.
Even if the act of homebrewing was not a heinous crime, Mr. Oskar still clearly is eliminating everyone who does not like clear-cut explanations of abilities, his overly long introductions, many pages of fluff text on special codes for Paladins or Samurai dictating rules they might hold themselves to and who prefers a class balance of Tier 1, 2, 5, 6 or Truenamer-style from his target audience. And the Rule Zero Statute of the 2008 Magustrate Convention of Seattle clearly states that whenever target audiences are involved, everyone should be included!
A Word From the Defendant
The defendant has generously provided us with a pre-made retort on his motives. Completely ridiculous, of course, but the the defendant had the right to spout this nonsense.
The Jury has decided!
We find the defendant guilty of homebrewing base classes in the first degree.
We find the defendant guilty of homebrewing prestige classes in the first degree.
We find the defendant guilty of homebrewing feats in the first degree.
We find the defendant guilty of homebrewing monsters in the first degree.
We find the defendant guilty of altering official material.
We find the defendant guilty of possession of several ranks in the Balance (Homebrew) skill.
We find the defendant guilty of incredible verbosity.
We find the defendant guilty of acts of theatrical flair.
We find the defendant guilty of awesomeness in the second degree.
The punishment for this is
*Also known as ‘Otto’ to some. Dance moves as of yet unknown.