3090: My mallet-wielding druid cannot summon moles.
3091: My halfling does not gain any benefits from eating mushrooms, no matter how rockin' his mustache is.
3092: My paladins cannot all be stereotypical stoners.
3093: My warforged cannot have names entirely in binary.
3093a: ESPECIALLY if the name turns out to be 'Dave'. Every time.
3094: Witty one-liners have to actually be one line. I am not allowed to explain every nuance of it mid-battle to my nemesis.
3094a: ESPECIALLY if we're playing CoC and I tell the DM that this requires a SAN check.
3095: Puns can only do physical damage if they actually give the DM a migraine.
3096: I'm not allowed to give the DM any more migraines.