2012-08-16, 10:48 AM (ISO 8601)
Bugbear in the Playground
Re: Please come and give your opinion
1) Show, don't tell. First off, those character bio boxes are a horrible way to convey backstory and abilities. It is an info dump, and breaks story immersion. It'd be MUCH better to have the important stuff come up naturally in the story through dialogue. Some of the more unnecessary narration boxes fall under this too, especially when they point out things that are obvious. "fight ends here"? C'mon!
2) Memes and references aren't funny when they're thrown in randomly. The Earthbound-style fight was completely unnecessary, and the Over 9000 joke even more so. Oh look, the Ninetails fight from Okami. *yawn*
3) Plotting. The comic seems to run on 'whatever seems cool at the time' instead of anything making sense. For example, The cactus fight was completely unnecessary. It felt like it was put there because the main conflict of the chapter was already solved and a fight was needed to keep things interesting. I get that this is supposed to be a humor comic and not a story driven one, but since he's using a story format, things have to make sense. Some of the story elements that ARE there just are... kinda stupid. And the humor isn't good enough to make up for it.
Art is much better than the other one. Kinda grainy though. It's a bit too early to make a judgement though, since there are no characters established yet. All I see now is "Zombie Apocalypse is happening". *shrug* That's nice. Why should I care? There's no characters to care about at the moment, and nothing that invests me in the story just yet. A few panels are a bit difficult to make out, such as when the vial breaks. But other than that, I have no issues with this comic, but there's nothing to make me want to come back though at the moment either.