Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D

[Poil]

I'd have to disagree with you there. If there's anything one should know about hippos, it is that they will @$%# you up if you mess with them. They've got massively sharp teeth, body like a tank made of meat, and a brutal sense of territoriality. There's a reason they're the large mammal responsible for the most fatalities in Africa.

While it's true that hippos are amazingly badass and dangerous in real life Africa, they're not that dangerous in dnd. Also how many times have you ever seen a hippo when roleplaying? You're not likely to hear someone say "If we only could have turned one of those hippos our party wouldn't have been wiped out.".