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    Pixie in the Playground
     
    The Alexandrian's Avatar

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    Default Re: [Nexus] OoC 34: If it exists, we have role-played it. No exceptions.

    What I should have jotted down is that I simply don't have the strength to rp scenes like that. I don't enjoy them at this stage in life. When I started posting for that scene...things were different. Trust me, there's enough fighting and tension where I'm living IRL. Some of that pent up stress and aggression probably spilled into that post. My bad. I've never been good about unleashing my negative emotions constructively. >.< That's why I haven't been posting for weeks at a time. I'm all about the lols and the puns and maybe some seriousness every once in awhile. But not getting verbally totaled IC. Especially getting spoken to negatively (read in the yelled at thing; my mistake; the whole "never" thing led me astray because I thought it was setting the tone of the speech) by a character who I don't want to take on because the way I envision my character combating the other character is, well, cheap (derp; meant "I" here not "you" >.<). Roxanne is all about guns. Guns in close combat. Broken bones. Pressure points. Jump/jet-packs thrusting to add extra oomph to punches. I've lost nearly every combat scene I've participated in! Why? I don't want to see a character die just because I think mine is stronger (not that I'm implying that I believe Roxanne is stronger than Ilph; 's more like I'd rather not find out unless sparring was the order of the day). Sure, it is quirky! Sure, it may not be smart! But it feels right to me, and that's what matters. And I don't want a character of mine to shoot at Ilpholin, but not doing so in combat without a gimmick that I've had time IC to setup would betray the personality of the character I've tried creating. And failed at. Twice. Once with AMEN, and once a long, long time ago with a sort of similar character and Remnant.

    And soldiering. Yes. The method of "breaking" the troops was outlandish. Even I thought it was odd when I conceived it! But I was working under the impression that Cyan was afraid of his own shadow. The henchmen have been killed by the members so many times that it is a running gag. What do you guys think it would've taken to restore the spirit that the AMENites broke and crushed underfoot? I don't know. I really don't know. So I went with something crazy and thought, hey, I could use this for character development!

    >.< The purpose of the exercise was not to make the henchmen fear death as in eek! Oh noes! I'm dying! It was to forge a working relationship with death. To recognize that they could permanently die if AMEN was to fall but more importantly that Roxanne wasn't about to let them permanently die.

    And cloning chambers. I thought it would be disturbing but not dangerous to have the whole group outside!

    Again, my own fault. Might've worked out well in old AMEN but not new AMEN.

    But why isn't the thing about the buried defenses in the OP? I had no warning that those even existed until I had already begun the scene. Maybe it is in the OP and I just missed it. Wouldn't be the first time!

    The fictional remark wasn't meant to reflect on your character. It was meant to reflect on mine and why she'd thought that Ilphy had lost her bearing or her temper or some-such.

    The tank thing was a little...overmuch. I studied volumes of chemistry and spent an entire week researching boron carbide, which is the compound used for manufacturing tank shells. I'm a little attached to it. I almost wrote cement wall there. Not sure about the weight of the suit yet. I don't know if I want it to be deflective and lightweight, like Ornstein's armor in Dark Souls or heavy and protective, like Havel's armor. Well, Ornstein's helmet, at least. And I'd rather scale down the armor strength than scale up after I've already posted it somewhere, y'know? Weight distribution wise, I thought that pushing Roxanne would have been easier than backhanding her really hard. Debated giving her whiplash or sending her flying across the room from it. Or breaking the suit. 'Cause if you're hitting something that hard and it breaks, the momentum won't stop there. And if you're jabbing a helmet with enough force to dent it...

    You didn't screw anything up. If anyone messed up, it was me. I'm oversensitive sometimes and overthink these things more often than not. And I made the mistake of endeavoring to explain my characters actions IC which was categorized as back-talk. Which it was. Sort of. Wasn't meant to be disrespectful merely enlightening. I figured with the whole backhanding thing, Ilphy was boiling and required an explanation. And then that the given explanation wasn't good enough. Or that Ilph was looking for a fight. A fight Roxanne wasn't about to indulge her in. So Roxanne tried taking the moral high ground and saying "yo, backhanding me wasn't nice; people aren't going to follow you if you physically abuse them" in different words. When characters aren't receiving any amenities (yuk, yuk ) from an organization apart from "you can sleep here and eat this" in a world overflowing with potential for power and gain, being physically assaulted is a major deal-breaker. If the Nexus were dystopian, that'd be all anyone could ask for! But it is a land of opportunity. Why wouldn't she move on after being backhanded (which isn't at all like slapping someone; slapping connotes indignation, rage, derision, and/or intense emotions while backhanding connotes property and ownership and is fundamentally associated with the criminal element)?

    Again, it isn't that I have a problem with how you ran that scene. I was certain that Ilph was going to smack Roxanne and fire her. And that's fine! I just couldn't take the bickering. Not right now. And if my characters were going to be grilled routinely, I wanted to back out. Because I don't want to explode on anyone or anyone's characters and make somebody feel bad.

    Sorry!

    Additionally...

    Wonderflonium: Do Not Bounce
    Last edited by The Alexandrian; 2012-09-11 at 08:28 AM.