Quote Originally Posted by ThirdEmperor View Post
Fortress Mountain

Not quite. I'll avoid going into the gory details so as not to offend any robots mechanical humanoids that might be in the crowd, but suffice it to say that Day's idea of 'improvements' is to 'jailbreaking' as 'psychiatric care' is to 'lobotomy'.

And as for Dark Souls... Yeah, I think that's a game best played without electric feedback. Prepare to die indeed.

"Maaaaybe. But more buttons are always good." Left to his own devices Day will spend a while exploring the game, the options and load-out menu and soforth, picking up a degree of familiarity with the controls along the way.

He'll eventually settle upon the weapon with the highest fire rate he can find, along with a rocket launcher. Accuracy, precision and subtlety... Well, they're not much fun, are they?
[Fortress Mountain]

Assault rifles with virtually no recoil and high accuracy, noob tubes, and some variation of the knife-pistol combo is the kit Clarissa rolls with. That's 'cause she's cheap. Not cheap enough to quickscope, but cheap and tactical enough to beat a quickscoper and off a C4 grenadier on an open map.

Online matchmaking time, methinks. Time to teach Day the ropes of the art of smack talk.

An annoying, nasally voice pours out of television's speakers! Yech! It's a ten year old bragging about his last match!

"Lol! I got a ten killstreak and called in the chopper and everyone else was all like 'You're a beast at this game.' You all just suck and need hax to do anything right."

"Listen to that kid! Bet he can't play well under stress. We can trap him in a corner and laugh at him, if you'd like. Or kill him until he ragequits."