Old landscape : TechWarrior vs. SaintRidley
TechWarriorSpoilerI liked this a lot. There was a clear event and voice and emotion. I did not like the second Ďtreesí verse and feel it could have been cut and improved the poem. It felt clunky and took me out of the rhythm I had established. Some of the verses had some really nice imagery though, I especially enjoyed the first and last verses. Good job overall.
SaintRidleySpoilerI donít know what I think of this. The repetition of lines is an interesting device, but at times itís too contrived and can be almost distracting. I feel like thereís a lot of beautiful words that arenít really saying a lot and I donít feel really connected to whatís happening and thereís no real emotional connection. Itís veryÖdetached. It connects well to the prompt though and there are some really lovely lines. Iím particularly fond of ďthe is that was will never be.Ē
Fake seclusion : Garwain vs. TheGrimmace
SpoilerGarwainSpoilerI really like this. Iím a sucker for psychological stuff though. This really reminds me a lot of the stuff that I write actually. I like the idea of someone torn in two directions and you fit a lot of story and emotion and interest into a very short space. Very very good.
TheGrimmaceSpoilerThis was good. Very interesting. I liked a lot of the images you presented and the metaphors. I didnít like the way it was broken up though, it detracted from the reading and made it difficult to form any kind of rhythm. Really great writing though.
VerdictSpoilersighÖ I really liked both of these, actually, liked them both better than either of the other promptís poems. I have to go with Garwain though.