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Thread: Iron Poet XVI

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    Default Re: Iron Poet XVI

    Don't worry, I'm not gone. I'll start working on my judgements soon.
    Edit: Here they are!
    Techwarrior vs. SaintRidley- Prompt: Old Landscape
    Techwarrior:
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    This was excellent, really giving the feeling of tortured grief at the senseless destruction of nature. The parallelism of the lines to each other really intensifies this feeling quite nicely. I feel as if the forest is connected to the speaker's sanity- if one burns, the other does too. A few bits seemed slightly awkward, but overall well done.

    SaintRidley:
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    A strange poem. The repetition of lines seems to make the poem flow strangely. Rhymes are well done, though. So far as its actual content, it's quite nice, like a regretful dirge for the destruction of the natural world. The speaker seems to be remembering the "old landscape" when he was younger and lamenting how it will never be the same. Very interesting.

    Verdict:
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    Both were very creative, with some excellent lines, but Techwarrior's poem evoked something stronger and more emotional, as well as flowing better.

    Garwain vs. The Grimmace- Prompt: Fake Seclusion
    Garwain:
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    Interesting idea, although the speaker's seclusion within the abbey walls seems real enough. Nice contrast between the calm waking moments and the tortured sleeping ones. On subsequent readings of the poem, I feel a lingering sense of unease even as I read the calmer parts, knowing that this is merely a meditative facade over an insane reality. Excellent.

    The Grimmace:
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    Like both of your previous poems, this one straddles the nebulous line between beautiful imagery and incoherence, although it doesn't feel as well-crafted as the others do. I'm not quite sure what it's trying to say. I would guess the stanzas are describing various forms of seclusion while the title states that they are "four falsehoods". But why they are fake never seems to get explored, thus leaving the poem with a vague, unfinished feel.

    Verdict:
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    This is not how I expected this matchup to go, but I think that Garwain has crafted a chilling yet thoughtful poem that easily claims victory.
    Last edited by Halberd; 2012-09-25 at 05:50 AM.
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    Two-handed martial reach weapon. I do d10 weapon dice, weigh 12 pounds, and belong to the Axe group.

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