* I may not be a tiny-sized commoner with "Tasty", "Chicken Infested", and quick draw just so I can get myself swallowed and proceed to fill the monster to bursting with chickens.

* I may not play a female wizard with a pseudodragon familiar who specializes in telekinesis, dimension door, and prismatic spray.
** Said character has NOT been instructed by her master to write a letter detailing what she's learned at the end of every session.
*** No, she does not dress in all purple.