As a random aside, what's the proper response to someone who says "Well if you don't like people treating you badly why don't you be less different?" I have some ideas along the lines of "I shouldn't have to form my life around other people's comfort levels," but I'm not sure exactly how to explain it. Partly because it's one of those annoying half-truths.

I'll have to find the post, but the Gothic Charm School blog has some interesting comments. To wit, there's definitely the idea that those who are uncomfortable with people staring/whispering/glaring should not dress in alternative fashions. At the same time, people dismiss a lot of bullying and other inappropriate behavior because of this principle - it would stop if the victim would be more normal, so they don't need to do anything. How do you explain the line? I'm not looking for the sort of "well they'd just find something else to pick on", because in my experience that's often not true, and misses the point here in any case.