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    Bugbear in the Playground
    Humbug's Avatar

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    Apr 2007

    Default Re: Dominic Deegan, Mk. XLVII: A Flat World From Recycled Scrap

    Oof, the dialogue in this page is so clunky it's like getting hit with a sack of bricks. We already know that David is controlling Maestro, and we also know that mindcontrol rots the control-ee on the inside, so really, Miranda is telling us nothing new, other than the Maestro is for some reason not human now.

    And it's a really clumsy retcon, never mind that David already broke his "Will not control fellow humans rule" with the King and Queen. Mookie really wrote himself into a corner with that one.

    See, this is why you work out your storylines beforehand and not make it up as you go along per page.
    Last edited by Humbug; 2012-11-16 at 02:44 AM.