Quote Originally Posted by Flemkopf View Post
"So, if I keep swinging my hips, do I get a bonus to my armor class?"
Well, a distracted enemy can't hit you, right?


GM: "When we last left our heroes, they survived--"
Nick: "Tina Turner's Thunderdome."

GM: "What is that on your shirt? Is that an elf with a mustache?"
Digo: "No, it's Doctor Whooves."
GM: "What is a Doctor Whooves?"
Digo: "Ooooh, strap yourself in, we're going down a rabbit hole."

Nick: "We have two heads and one chest. On a sled."

Chris: "I need to learn a spell to break down large stone devices. Not sure which."
Digo: "Four words for you--Dis. In. Tea. Grate."

GM: "You see a hole unzip from reality. It's not done in a way you've seen before, and you've seen a few."
Chris: "Which says a lot about our adventures."
Nick: "At least it tells us which day of the week it is."

Digo: "Please tell me we sprung for the extended warranty on this companion."

Mechaneclese: "I'm sorry, but I can't bring him back."
Mel: "That's what I thought. See, Deeg, I told you!"
Digo: "We talk to gods on a regular basis! Impossibility is a dirty word here!"

Nick: "Digo, can we check Freya if she has an extended warranty tattooed on her butt?"
Freya: *slaps Nick in the face*
Digo: "That's probably a 'No'."
Nick: "Right, got the message."

Chris: "So, Cthulhu lives in the Appalachians? By the coal mines?"
Nick: "Would that make it the Coal of Cthulhu?"

Nick: "We could rebuild him; better, stronger, faster, lower APR financing..."

Chris: "Did you make Google?"
Mechaneclese: "Oh god no. Not at all."
Google: "Does it say 'Made in China' stamped anywhere on my tail?"

GM: "So what is your cooking bonus? +4?"
Digo: "Pfft, maybe with my eyes closed." (*rolls a 26*)

Nick: "He's trying to create a diversion because his first idea hit the ground like Value Jet."

Nick: "Yes, I know it was JFK, but I argue for Elvis Presley because after all that Methadone, he needs coffee just to hold it together!"

GM: "William already made his will save against the intelligent spear. It is not dominating him."
Chris: "So the spear is willing?"

Digo: "I feel like i'm being passed around like a piece pipe."
Nick: "Have you been blown yet?"
Digo: "Uh, no?"
Nick: "Then you're not a piece pipe."

Digo: "Today, Hobbs will be played by the disembodied head of Chris Pratt."

GM: "The bear has to be #2, he's brown."

Nick: "Are you a two-part act?"
Digo: "Yeah, I'm thunder, Freya is lightning."
Ettin, left head: "Get her!"
Ettin, right head: "Him!"

GM: "The bear claws into William and rips him open."
Nick: "And our Pez dispenser is now empty."

GM: "What's the difference between John Candy and John Lithgow? One's six foot two inches in the other direction."