101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

[Deliverance]

37. An airtight crate labeled "Agricultural Implements".

The crate contains two dead peasants dressed in farm clothing. They are rather ripe, having probably been dead for a few weeks.


38. A crate labeled "Inflatable Succubus. Do not penetrate."

The crate is empty save a message carved on the inside of the lid, saying "Gone shopping." The carving appears to have been done with a claw or a very sharp and hard nail.


39. A large crate labeled "Fragile. Right side up. Open in case of Apocalypse. Some assembly required."

When the crate is opened, blue smoke billows forth. It is harmless and soon replaced by air from the surroundings, but might surprise the players.

The crate contains a four-poster bed on which lies a pretty elven woman in the bloom of youth dressed in a wedding dress. Next to her feet on the bed is a chess board with pieces in their starting position, yet it appears some pieces are missing.

Examining the chess board reveals that the black king has been broken in half, the top half lying next to the board and the bottom half in its rightful place, and that the white queen and the black g8 knight are missing.

The woman appears to be sleeping at first, but a closer examination reveals that she's not breathing and exhibits no signs of life but is nevertheless perfectly preserved with no signs of decomposition. She clutches something in her right hand.

Prying open the fingers of the right hand reveals the missing black rook.

Removing her dress reveals a narrow incision down the centre of her torso, which allows it to be opened up. Doing so reveals that her lungs, heart, kidneys, and intestines have been removed.

Anybody looking under the bed will discover a collection of six jars and a note with assembly instructions (requiring rare ingredients/and or magic as desired by the DM, but something that definitely requires adventuring to acquire). These jars contain the internal organs mentioned above, perfectly preserved.

Anybody moving the bed without looking under it risk knocking over one or more jars.

Assembling the elf in accordance with the instructions results in a looping telepathic broadcast of "Too Soon! You have assembled me too soon! What is the meaning of this?", that repeats every minute in the heads of anybody within sixty foot range of the body. The volume of each telepathic broadcast appears to be random, everything from a faint whisper to a roar drowning out all thought. There are no other results and the source of the broadcast cannot be divined.

Disassembling the elf and placing her organs in jars like they were before assembly will stop the broadcast. (Any jars will work, but no other containers.)

The elf's body and organs do not detect as magic, as living, as unliving, ... She's a black hole as far as divination is concerned.

The elf cannot be returned to life in any way, nor can lore checks or divination reveal anything beyond the facts that the elf has previously been assembled by various people, most of whom came to a bad end.

Even more work will reveal names and details about some of these people, which would be an excellent place to hang plot hooks for other adventures.

The players can do whatever they want with the elf's body - it will remain lifeless. Circus attraction, centerpiece of a new religion, necrophilia service, mantel conversation piece, egg timer (if broadcasting), or perhaps it might be used as a prop for a con. Anything goes.

While the body does not decompose, it can be damaged by other means. Should it suffer more than 50% damage or any of its assembly kit internal organs be destroyed, the body will instantly vanish and a few years later, somewhere in the world, somebody will unexpectedly find a large crate labeled "Fragile. Right side up. Open in case of Apocalypse. Some assembly required." with the elf, a new four-poster-bed, jars, chess board, instructions, blue smoke, and everything else prepared in exactly the same state the players found it.

--- Goes without saying that you can use any sex/any race for this. I went for the classical sleeping beauty faerytale approach.


(No. I don't know whether this elf was once a living elf, whether it is some sort of elf golem or construct, whether it is a divine practical joke or an essential tool come whatever local variant of an apocalypse your setting features. I invented it to be a true mystery, a curiosity and a wonder, something for the players to never be able to figure out but still be able to put to some use if they were creative. And players can be so endlessly creative.)