Quote Originally Posted by Heliomance View Post
Not directly related to LGBT stuff, but here's a series of poems I've written over the past decade of so - the latest one I wrote this morning, thus why I'm posting them now. I think it's quite an interesting insight into how my personality has developed, and my journey from being a White Knight.

Spoiler: The Problem With Chivalry, October 2008
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I want to take it all away
To roll it up and say it'll all be fine
I want to save you from the world
The insults that are hurled and hurt you deep
I want to hug you close to me
And say no matter what you see you'll come out on top

My instincts scream protection
My morals say I must
A friend that's sunk in torment needs my help
But I'm too far away
I do not have the right
To help in every way I think I could

So I'm standing on the sidelines
Staring at your pain
Knowing that there's little I can do
Please, won't you let me in?
It hurts to see you so
But I will not - cannot - move unless you ask.


Spoiler: Outside, Looking In, October 2009
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I live my life
I see your life
The pain you find each day
I reach to help
But pull away
I know not what to say

You hurt, I know
I see the scars
Inflicted day by day
I want to be
Your mail, your shield
And save you from harm's way

But I'm not there
It's not for me
To be your guarding knight
With all my heart
I wish to help
I simply have no right

Deep in your heart
I cannot go
A new friend lately met
Your private pain
I should not know
I cannot lift it yet

And so I stand
And helplessly
I watch you there, wishing
That I was closer
But for now
I'm outside, looking in.


Spoiler: We Stand, January 2012
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Feeling helpless
Watching, hearing
The bitter flow of tears.
You are my friend
I feel your pain
But I'm too far away.

These things in life
Are yours to bear
But not to bear alone.
Please, let us in
So we can help
And stand with you 'gainst pain.

Your friends all stand
Arrayed around
To help, to hear, to hold.
Those bitter tears
Of broken heart
We long to wash away.

You're not alone
You're never lost
We stand, and will remain
So let us listen
Let us help
In any way we may.


Spoiler: Self Reflection, March 2012
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I see you cry and I react
I charge to save the day
A white knight on a noble steed
To bear the pain away

Such arrogance! to think that I
Could shoulder all your cares
And such insensitivity to try
I am no knight
And you are not a damsel in distress
Though well-meant, I strip you of yourself.

You are not broken, I no smith -
And yet I only see the flaws.
What makes me think I have the right
To dare to try and fix you?
Defining you by nothing but your scars

You are a person, first and last
An equal, and my friend
I see at last how I have done you wrong.
I saw your tears, and saw no more
I graciously deigned to help
My actions said no equal, but a child.

I did not treat you as a person
Did not let you stand yourself
I needed you to need me, so I "helped".
I see it now, that I was wrong
And yet, I don't know how to change
Please, help me be a friend, and not a knight?


Spoiler: Sometimes, December 2017
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Sometimes things donít work out
Sometimes itís no-oneís fault
Sometimes things just fall apart
Sometimes the support that someone needs
Isnít the support I want to give
Sometimes what they need is a friend
Not a rescuer, not a lover
When I want to help, I need to stop and ask
ďAm I doing this for them, or for me?Ē
If I help with any thought of reward, itís no help
If I help in the hope they will love me for it, itís no help
If I care for them, if I want to help, I must help in the way that they need
Let my only reward be that they are happier

Itís okay to not be able to help
I must care for myself as well
Sometimes the wounds are too raw
Sometimes I cannot be what is needed
But if I want to help then I must be honest
Am I dressing their wounds, or my own?
Because the two are not the same
And I cannot do both at once
Let my help be selfless, or none.
Suffice it to say that I have much the same problem with chivalry.

Spoiler: Tell Me a Shadow
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Tell me a shadow of whatís wrong
So little weighs so heavily
I donít know what to say to you
Dispel these dragons I canít see
Tell me a little more
Lean all your weight on me


Your poems are deeply appreciated and probably helpful to me thank you very much for sharing! This stuff is valuable!