AAAAARRRRGGGHH!!!

I've been at this genderfluid thing for almost 2 months now and it's going nowhere. I feel like I'm going in circles.

I can't stay male because I want to be female. I can't transition to female because I'll miss being male. Both male and female aspects of me are completely legitimate, and to lose either one would be losing part of myself. I can't be both because that just makes me a guy who dresses as and pretends to be a girl, and not actually a girl, and I want to really be a girl. I can't be neither, because that prevents me from being either male or female. What am I supposed to do?