D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

[Thanatos 51-50]

I almost want to just post my Witch base class and draw big ol' circles around the Coven of the Hedge for this. Or roll out the Path of the Chieftan Barbarian subclass in that big book o' homebrew I'm making, but I'll be a good boy and do something else.
Maybe a Rogue?
Or a Ranger?

Edit:
Pretty much the exact second I posted this, I had a flash of inspiration.
Monk